Winter Photos

soo

I may have relapsed back into my Ana ways:/ like I don’t hate that I’m eating better cuz not only do I have more energy, my skin has cleared up too. I’m mostly sad that I feel bloated all the time and like I gained a bijillion pounds.

but in all honesty a lot has gone on these past few weeks, and it’s part to why I haven’t been posting on here.

Tw..

a guy that I though was my friend sexually assaulted me and 8 other girls on my college campus, we were able to get no contact orders against him, but that is “all” my school can do. I have him blocked on everything, including tumblr. I’m not going to go into detail about what he did exactly, but it is one reason I’m dipping back into ED tumblr.

xoxo- daphie luv

Hi everybody!!! I just really needed to say this please be careful who you talk to on here there's many Groomers/ pedophiles in the ed community especially for us minors here's some things you can do to protect yourself

1. Don't send pictures of yourself to people you absolutely don't know

2. These groomers/pedophiles will disguise themselves as Ed accounts so beware of random accounts texting you

3. If there's anyone who you are associating yourself with starts to make you feel uncomfortable BLOCK THEM!!! I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH

4. These "people" will ask you for personal information private photos etc. And pretend to be your ana coach/buddies and im speaking for experience please by careful I don't want anyone being taken advantage of or even worst.

Ana Story

about halfway through my first semester of college I had a friend of mine that I spoke to about my ed, he never judged me and while I knew that he was worried he never tried to force me into recovery- at least at that time- sometimes he forgot that there were some things that triggered me. The time that I talking about was when I started bingeing quite a bit due to stress, anyway to see the scene I had a lot of food on my plate and as I sit down he looks over to me and says” are you gonna eat all that? Can you really handle it? If not I’ll finish it for you” I think he saw the look on my face of pure guilt and regret, because as I tried to take another bite I stopped and pushed the plate away and said “nvm I not hungry anymore”. It wasn’t until later that I got a text from him saying that he didn’t realize that what he said caused me to stop eating and that some of the other people at our table told him that what he said probably made me feel like shit- which it did and I ended up going on a 4 day fast that ended with me fainting in class-

I haven’t spoken to him in a while, mostly because of winter break. He’s a good friend but really wants me to recover eventually, he’s got a bit of a hero complex- which I don’t really mind- he’s super easy to talk to and is a safe space for me. There’s been times when we both couldn’t sleep so we go on hour long walks around campus just talking, then we sit somewhere on campus talking more long into the night. There was this one time that we laid on the concrete infront of the chapel just staring at the night sky, it was so peaceful. id like to experience that at least one more time in my life, just to hear him call me is angel again

This is us laying on the floor in one of the dorm halls kitchen while our friends make cookies, it’s sometime around 1 am at this point. We’re all tired but there’s too much on our minds to sleep, it was strangely peaceful and calming even though we all had so much going on.

I may have accidentally pulled an all nighter playing Minecraft, but in my defense I didn’t wake up till 5pm anyway

ITS BACK!

There’s so much to unpack here:

Pack of Beakers

Goth Beaker

The Beaker snitching and pointing out the photographer

The Beaker that’s about to unload on the photographer

The terminator strut before the ass whooping and you know he’s moving at speed because of the blur

The ominous feeling that you know this is 3 in the morning

"you're so funny" - thanks man can’t wait to stare at the ceiling tonight.

Abuse isn't only physical. Sometimes it is...

Shouting at them until they cry/retaliate.

Humiliating them in front of friends and family.

Refusing to let them see friends and family.

Isolating them from what's outside.

Refusing to let them have control over their own finances / keeping it all for yourself.

Belittling their looks, their personality, their thoughts, etc.

Bullying them in any way.

Purposely pushing boundaries.

Threatening them, either physically, verbally or emotionally.

Controlling what and when they eat.

Locking them in rooms so they can't escape.

Refusing to let them use the toilet/eat/sleep/etc. after or before a certain time.

Gaslighting them into questioning their own reality.

Lying to or manipulating the people around them so they look like the abuser.

Purposely breaking their belongings, especially in front of them.

Ignoring safewords/"stop"/anything that indicates they're not okay with what's happening (in general, not just in the bedroom)

Giving them zero privacy. That means going through their diaries, tracking them, attending their therapy/doctors appointments when they don't want you to.

Setting them up to fail for the sole purpose of getting to punish them.

Obvious favoritism of one child over another/the others.

All of these are things that I have personally been through. They contributed heavily to my eating disorder, my BPD, my anxiety and my depression.

Born to be clingy and obsessive, forced to be cool and nonchalant about things

the ultimate winter experience

I’ve decided to start going on my walks after classes again and omg does it feel good. I did have to take a bit of a break to go charge my phone since it was at 8 percent lol

after walk snack-

made good granola bar 100cal

mamma chia 70 cal