Theprodigalsoldier-blog - ♠ Attente Tourmente ♠

✉️| DANNIE & JAX

dannie: well, shit. i was shopping for a birthday present for you. i'll scratch that.

dannie: any particular reason why?

jaxon: yeah right haha

jaxon: i dont know. birthdays just aint ever been pleasant. and i spent nearly a decade of them in the desert overseas. just. i dunno.

shvdykiid:

                        The pair share a strange relationship and it shows Oliver holds a fondness for the man currently scowl. The ginger just rolls his eyes and takes one of the many cupcakes. Gingerly taking a bite before he begins to start the bickering that just seems to always happen between the two. Maybe it was the clash between personalities. Jax is warmer in comparison to Oliver’s standoffish personality.

“What’s the big deal? You’re still young and got loads of years to go through before you start needing my help around here,” Oliver teased as he held a serious face. He takes another bite to enjoy the cupcake.  “Are these homemade or from a bakery?”

sure, they hadn’t met in the most conventional of ways. but jaxon’s life hadn’t really been conventional anyways. so what was one more? plus, the kid was interesting and amusing, and the morgue was a quiet place for jax to get away when he was tired of all the bro-y cop shit.  “ you gonna be my hospice? or jus’ gonna do my autopsy? ” he shot back with a mirrored teasing. the cupcake was mostly unconsumed, but he picked at the frosting, very slowly eating it.  “ homemade. mama likes to be smug about doin’ shit by hand for me. just tell me if i’m bein’ a fucking brat. ”

beautifulburnout:

“He’s my little shadow,” Jonny agreed despite the stiffness of Jaxon’s words. He could still feel the tension and it felt like things were starting to bubble over. Maybe it was just that it was so obvious to him that Jaxon wasn’t comfortable around him. The first time he understood, and even when he got mugged things were a little weird but it just seemed like a continuing trend and it honestly made him worry. This was why he felt like he was forcing his company on Jaxon and why he offered him an out. He very much expected him to take it but when he brought up hanging out Jonny actually turned to look at him. He studied Jaxon’s features as he considered the offer. Was it just him being kind? But Jonny supposed if he didn’t want to hang out he would have taken the out. He was just surprised at the offer and it took him a moment to respond. “Peach vodka, huh?” He tucked his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels as if he was really considering things. But he smiled and gave a nod. “Yeah, I’m game. I wanna see how awful this vodka really is,” he chuckled and turned to look at the dogs once more. “Besides, imagine how sad they’d be if we cut their playtime short.”

jaxon could see the mix of surprise on jonny's face after his offer. he knew it meant that his behaviors, and the way he's been acting toward jonny hadn't been great. there was a twinge of guilt at the realization, but a feeling of helplessness along with it. how could he act towards jonny like they used to? after all this time? after all that pain? he tried not to think too hard about It at the moment. instead he just smiled at jonny, somewhat pleased at his acceptance. maybe this was when they should finally, actually, really talk. late at night, just the two of them, over a couple drinks... maybe it wouldn't be so bad. jaxon forced himself to not think too deeply about it, and to stay in the moment. to enjoy this moment. without ruining it by wondering, what if, what next, what now?  " yeah. peach vodka. ugh. a marine buddy gave it to me for my birthday. 'cause he thinks he's funny, " jax scoffed, shaking his head. " yeah. alright. cool. um... do ya just wanna follow me in my truck? "

♥ ♤

♥ - Something they like about your muse.

uhhh…. everything. but mostly they love how kind becca is. and how strong. jaxon is constantly in awe of her and her resilience. she’s been through hell and back, and she still manages to be sweet, and soft, and caring. no one would blame her for being jaded and angry. but becca is the sweetest person jaxon knows. and he absolutely worships her.

♤ - What they thought about your muse when first meeting.

“ holy shit, she’s so smart. and cute as fuck. i must protect her at all costs. ”

marclarkin:

the sweet smell of heaven wafted through his nostrils and his feet lead him to the kitchen, following the scent of coffee. jax’s coffee was moderate enough for his tastes. he would pick up worse or better, depending on where he found himself. his cousin’s brew only cost him an earful lecture, most of the time. he could handle that. with his ex-wife, there were many o’times that he tuned her out. jax was not difficult to tune out too. “i’m not stupid enough to be drinkin your ma’s carton anyway. you, i’m not so scared of,” he teased back and put the milk back before grabbing a mug. “check yourself for a concussion. i’m fine,” he replied as he poured himself some coffee. as marc sipped from the cup, he walked over to a window and glanced down to see his bounty still cuffed to the gate. a broad smirk crossed his lips. “fucking idiot,” he mumbled and turned back to his cousin. “what, no pancakes? or, what do you prefer, crepes? you are a terrible host, primo,” he mocked his cousin with a shrug and continued to sip his bean brew.

“ we’re not kids anymore, marcus. i could definitely kick your ass now, ” he shot back, trying to be serious. but the smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. marc and all his bullshit amused jaxon, despite himself. he was the closest thing jaxon had to a brother, and his fondness couldn’t be overridden no matter how annoying marc was.  “ you show up bleeding at my house, and yer gonna be grumpy ‘bout me wanting to make sure your brain ain’t fuckin’ bruised? ” jax replied, dubious and giving him a look that was half scolding and half a glare.  “ i give you a bed and coffee, and yer still fuckin’ complaining? god, yer a brat. if you really wanna whine more about it, i’ll make you french toast. but fuck, i’m way too lazy t’ make you fuckin’ crepes. you could say please, ya know? instead of insulting me. ” despite their near constant bickering, jax was always on the verge of a smile, and he genuinely enjoyed his cousin’s company. no one else would guess that they actually really did like each other though. 

Kellan Lutz in Geoffrey Beene Spring Summer 2017 Campaign 

@tatemcallisterr

“ …. — if you wanna start a fight, ya better throw the first punch. 

                                                                                  — m a k e  i t  a  g o o d  o n e . ”

im dealing with my shit the way im dealing with it.  are my methods unhealthy? yes. are they effective? no. am i going to change what im doing? nope. 

beautifulburnout:

On the sidewalk Jonny saw cars just keep flashing by. It was a little discouraging when so many people refused to stop, but he supposed this Las Vegas. He wasn’t sure he’d stop for a stranger on the side of the road either. He probably looked insane sitting here barefoot anyway so he felt less bitter as time went on and more just miserable. He didn’t want to deal with all the fallout of this either. Cancelling cards, getting his license again and all the bullshit that went along with that. He humored the idea of going in search of a payphone but who was he kidding? This was 2017.  Jonny was too absorbed in his thoughts to notice when someone did finally stop to see if he was okay. He didn’t notice Jaxon pulling up or him at all until he was shining a light towards his face. Disbelief was written on his face. Of all the people to run into him in this state it had to be Jaxon. A complicated wave of emotions crashed over him. Relief that someone was there for him but also a confusing mix of doubts he knew were just creeping in because he was feeling so low. He hated how much of a slave he was to his own emotions. He couldn’t even respond to Jaxon properly. He just shook his head ‘no’ when he asked if he was okay. If he spoke he might cry. Even if Jaxon had seen him cry a thousand times, that was ten years ago and he should be able to handle himself by now. He knew that didn’t answer all of his questions but it was all he could muster at the moment. 

it didn’t matter at the moment— all of their... stuff. all of his feelings, past and present, all of his confusion, all of their strange tension. it didn’t fucking matter. not when something had happened, and jonny was upset, and hurting, and dear fucking god, hopefully not injured. he wanted to hug jonny close against his chest, kiss his forehead, tell him it would be okay, he’d look out for him, like always. but this wasn’t high school. this wasn’t 10 years ago. 

instead, he reached forward and touched his jaw, gently and hesitantly, just enough to get a better look at him. no blood or bruising. that’s good. but jonny was obviously shaken up and upset.  “ okay, alright. it’s okay. c’mon. let’s get you outta th’ gutter, huh? ” he murmured gently, standing up and offering his hands out to jonny. worry clawed through his ribs, and he worried that he was the wrong person to help jonny at a time like this.  “ wanna drive through starbucks? get something hot? ” he asked, opening the passenger side door for jonny to get into. 

There are so many pieces of you I see in myself. So many slivers of your soul that slipped into mine. Part of me loves them, I can feel them spreading warmth and sunlight to the darkest parts of my soul. I know that wherever I am the best thing that ever happened to me is in me. Another part of me hates them, I want to rip them out of my chest with my bare hands and crush them. Not in anger but in frustration that only a little crumb of you is here when I need all of you. I love you too much

Mustxngkid (via wnq-writers)

@beautifulburnout