Marclarkin:

beautifulburnout:

Tonight wasn’t Jonny’s night. His bare toes flexed against the pavement and the artist let out a soft and frustrated sigh. His eyes were puffy from crying, his hair a mess and his jacket ripped. He sniffed and his hands rubbed across his face as headlights illuminated him. He looked like a wreck and felt like one. It was hard to deal with the fact that you got mugged, clear down to designer shoes. It wasn’t like he could call for help either. Not with this phone stolen He had no way of getting a cab because the mugger had taken his wallet as well. And it wasn’t like he’d be walking far with tender bare feet. Instead he sat on the curb feeling both useless and more than a little dejected. He felt foolish. Jonny grew up in New York, he lived in Portland. It wasn’t like he was new to avoiding that sort of trouble and yet here he sat. A victim to some guy who no doubt preyed on tourists. Yeah, fuck this night and fuck this city. He just wanted to go home.

his shift had ran a little long. well, in truth, he’d made it run a little long. their job was technically done, and his partner had caught a ride home. but after responding to a call about a teenage tent city, jaxon hung back, to get the small group of teenagers some food, and sit and chat with them. they were good kids, just in bad situations, most of them emancipated or 18. it broke jax’s heart to see them out like this. he’d given them his card, and told them to call if anyone gave them any trouble. now he was driving back to the station, tired, and weary, and taking his time. the man slumped on the curb caught his eye. the jacket didn’t say homeless, but barefeet and body language spelled trouble. 

jaxon pulled over a little up the curb, climbing out with flashlight in hand. “ sir? are you okay? ” he called out, shining the flashlight just close enough to get a look at his face. “ jonny? ” he was incredulous and frankly, fucking shocked. “ jonny, what the hell? ” he said, squatting down in front of him to get a better look. “ what happened? are you okay? what’s goin’ on? ” despite all of his complicated feelings about them and him, jaxon’s protective instinct flooded his chest and drowned anything else out.  

tatemcallisterr:

It was hard to talk about, even with someone like Jaxon who could relate so strongly to what he was going through. That was a big reason Tate kept insisting he didn’t need to see a therapist or go to any support groups. Talking about things had never helped him deal with them anyways. “I know it’ll probably never go away completely —- I just wish it would get better. I’m fucking tired.” Tate knew he wasn’t the first person to go to war and come back having nightmares about it, and he certainly wouldn’t be the last. But when he wakes up at night, alone, in an empty house, it’s hard not to feel isolated. “I am for the most part. Doc just found some problems with my liver when they were doing blood tests. It’s not a big deal.” At least that’s what his doctor had told him, it wouldn’t be a big deal as long as he didn’t drink so often. Which was proving difficult when it was his go-to coping mechanism. 

yeah, he knew that feeling well. too well. it made his chest ache for his friend. and it made him angry that he didn’t know how to help tate. especially when tate was so adverse to help.  “ they say therapy is supposed to... i dunno. do somethin’, ya know? ” the suggestion was tentative and gentle, like he knew tate wouldn’t respond well to it. but he had to try. there had to be something. even if talking didn’t help the famously tight-lipped man, maybe there was something else they could recommend. at least, that’s what jaxon hoped.  “ yer liver being fucked up doesn’t sound like ‘not a big deal’. and that fuckin’ sucks. who else is gonna appreciate shitty whiskey with me? ” he teased gently, a small smirk flickering at the corner of his lips. “ oh, we got a friend in common. jonny. maybe in place of drinkin’, get stoned with him. ” the suggestion was only half serious, and the light in jaxon’s eyes said as much. he was trying to be helpful. trying to make tate feel like there was a little hope. despite how fucking tired he felt. 

Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.

Emery Allen (via wnq-writers)

@beautifulburnout

Kellan Lutz in The Legend of Hercules (2014)

beautifulburnout:

“The perks of not being a giant.” While the puppies played Jonny was tempted to just flop down in the grass and enjoy the conversation. But he had a feeling that Jaxon wouldn’t stick around long enough for that. It seemed like he was unwilling to get past the tension between them. Or was it that he didn’t want to? He supposed this was the complication of not talking for 10 years. At this point they had spent more time apart than together. Things couldn’t be the same again. The realization of that made Jonny ache. He knew Jaxon could read him like a book so Jonny turned, using the dogs as an excuse to not clue him in on how he was feeling. “Yeah well, Tanis falls on his face half the time he plays so they’ll have to take it slow eventually,” he chuckled and as if to prove his point his pup took a face dive but he was back on his feet in no time. Jonny rocked on his heels and glanced back when Jaxon responded about his knee. “Do more yoga and it’ll feel better,” he advised even though he knew there was something going through his mind beyond that. Jonny chewed the inside of his lip but he couldn’t keep silent on this forever. It just wasn’t his style. “So besides the knee what’s going on? If you really want to be alone I can take off,” he offered gently. He wouldn’t force his company on Jax and he was starting to feel like that was exactly what he was doing.

" he seems like a sweet dog. i bet he adores you, " jax offered, a little stiffly. and he hated it. this weird limbo wasn't ideal. and jaxon knew they'd have to talk about it, explicitly, eventually. because they'd either move past it and become friends again, or it would stall in this tension, neither of them making a step forward or step back. Maybe he should just make the decision to step away from whatever this was or was going to be. but that decision was too hard to make, especially after the realization that even ten years wasn't quite enough to quell the way he felt about jonny, or the connection between them. but could those two things coexist? could he survive that again? that was the unclear part of it.  " what? no. i mean... " he paused and furrowed his brow at jonny's offer. his tone was gentle, but he was blunt in a way that hadn't yet been with each other.  " i gotta get th' pups home soon. we've been out here a while... and, uh. well, i gotta make sure jamie doesn't get too worn out, and ginger doesn't get too worked up. " he shrugged and watched the dogs for a second, before glancing over at jonny.  " listen, uh... with you gettin' mugged and everything. we haven't really had a chance to hang out or, anything... i'm probably not going to bed any time soon, and i got this... awful bottle of peach vodka as a joke. the dogs can play in the backyard... if you wanna come over for a bit...? " he rubbed the back of his neck as he finally managed to get a clear question out. not that it should have been so difficult.

jax ✉✉✉ jonny

jonny: thrill seeking isn't death seeking lol

jonny: hahaha that was fun though. i miss that fucking lake

jaxon: depends on who you ask

jaxon: yeah me too. there's a pretty great one out here. up in the mountains. pretty good fishing.

@tatemcallisterr

You had your maps drawn You had other plans To hang your hopes on Every road they let you down felt so wrong So you found another way

You've got a big heart The way you see the world It got you this far You might have some bruises And a few of scars But you know you're gonna be okay

And even though you're scared You're stronger than you know

If you're lost out where the lights are blinding Caught in all, the stars are hiding That's when something wild calls you home, home If you face the fear that keeps you frozen Chase the sky into the ocean That's when something wild calls you home, home

rcbeccxs:

— @theprodigalsoldier

    The news that Gavin was deployed longer than he should have, deeply troubled Rebecca. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, she overly worried about her brother’s life. It wasn’t as though she could help – even though she had some security around Las Vegas, with the family her brother had made inside the marines and presented her with, it was still different than having her brother around. She would have to give the news to her parents, she would have to give the news to little Sarah ( that she wasn’t excited about in the slightest ), but for now, she needed to be with someone who could help her making some sense out of it, who maybe could put her head in the right place and tell her it was all going to be alright in the very end.

   Which was exactly how she came to a stop on the doorstep of Jaxon’s house, facing the door as she waited for him to open it so she could let out her frustrations. Word vomits were not something she often did, but whenever she did them, they were in front of Jaxon, after all, he was the closest thing Rebecca had to a brother when her brother was away. The bond they ended up forming stunned her and whenever he was around, the woman just couldn’t believe how actually lucky she was. Upon hearing the door opening and seeing the large man ( her big bear ) behind it, she smiled almost nervously. “ — I’m so sorry for showing up so suddenly, I just didn’t know where else to go. It’s Gavin, he called today telling me he is going to be deployed longer and moved somewhere he can’t say, but it’s probable we wont have contact for over a week. That’s normal right?” Word vomit came, and she couldn’t quite stop. “Uhm, this is not some let’s catch Bin Laden thing?”

it was a bad habit, and he fucking knew it. rationally, he knew this was probably the worst thing for him. but that didn’t stop him from isolating himself and falling into the dark spiral of old emotions he couldn’t sort out. and he wasn’t sure what ever would. this didn’t stop it from happening, but becca showing up at his door, with worry and anxiety scrawled across her brow and in her gaze... it brought him out of himself just enough to cause a shift. from unsure and scared and lost in his head, to straightened shoulders and hands pulling becca into the house and against his chest. 

he hugged her warm, and tight, and just a little too long to help ease her nerves.  “ first, never apologize for showin’ up here, becks, ” he murmured, kissing her head and closing the door behind them.  “ c’mon. let me get you a drink. what do ya want? coffee? tea? whiskey? ” he asked, a teasing little smirk in attempt to soothe her tension.  “ and yeah, babe. that’s normal. lots of classified stuff in th’ military, especially at the level he’s at. and communication is always difficult when yer moving bases. gotta make sure its safe, ya know? and bin laden is already dead, love. he’ll call as soon as he can. but he’s still workin’, ya know? not calling could just mean busy. not necessarily compromised. ”