Beautifulburnout:

✉️| DANNIE & JAX

dannie: happy belated birthday, shit head.

dannie: 😘

jaxon: thanks??

jaxon: i feel like such a fucking grumpy old man because i dont really like my birthday.

tylerbeyond:

there it was. jaxon had a really nice smile. tyler thought it was a shame he wasn’t showin’ it off on his birthday. “apparently, if i’m not making enough money to support myself and a family in a respectable way, i’m a fuck up,” he shrugged. “we’re doing, like, okay right now? but the label does pay our rent ‘n’ like recording fees and whatever.  but, i don’t give a fuck what he thinks so it don’t matter.” he grinned, wiping some cupcake from his lip with his thumb. “what am i doing tonight? uh, celebrating your birthday, duh. where’re you goin’ for drinks, i’ll join you. unless it’s, like, invite only, or whatever.” he shrugged, then cast him a sly, side-long glance. “then i’m definitely gonna crash it.”

“ so basically he wants you down th’ whole bullshit conservative path of get a good job, start a family, live that button up life? does he even know you? ” jaxon huffed in a shallow chuckle. trying to imagine tyler in a ‘normal’ nine to give job was a lesson in futility. the image honestly just amused, and slightly, disturbed him. “ if someone is payin’ your rent and your bills, enjoy it, ” jax laughed softly. talking to tyler always lightened him up and got him to relax. enough to actually eat the cupcake, apparently.  “ oh yeah. fuck no. yer not invited. why would i want you there? ” jaxon replied, with a sarcastic smirk. honestly, not inviting tyler would probably be the smarter choice. the last time they’d hung out together, they’d ended up fucking wasted and on the roof of the bar. but... it was his birthday. c'est la vie, right? 

tatemcallisterr:

Tate saw it coming, Jaxon’s careful first suggestion. It was the most logical thing to tell someone in his current state, and it certainly wasn’t the first time anyone had mentioned the idea to him. However, the way Jaxon proposed the idea was exactly why Tate wouldn’t do it. They both knew Tate wasn’t one to open up easily, or at all really. He used to be different. Talking about how he was feeling used to just come naturally to him. But a lot of things that used to come naturally were just not as easy anymore. “I’m not going to therapy.” Was all Tate said in response, completely shut down to even thinking about the suggestion seriously. He didn’t want to relive those days in his dreams and he sure as hell didn’t want to have to talk about them either. “It’s not fucked up, it’s just…stressed.” Tate decided before quirking a brow as Jaxon went on. “Oh yeah? You know Jonny, huh? Small world.” He shook his head. “I don’t know if anything would take the place of drinking. Although it might help me sleep for more than five hours.” It might also help him eat a decent meal once in a while, but he left that part out. Jaxon had enough worry in his eyes looking at him, Tate didn’t want to give him anything else. 

jaxon fully expected that reaction. even their issues in the past couldn’t erase the countless nights they spent on patrol together, and jaxon knew tate. then and now. they’d both changed in ways they hated to think about. he sighed to himself, and sat up a little straighter, leaning his elbows on the table and closer in.  “ look, man. i get it, okay? i don’t talk to them about my shit either. ‘cause i really don’t fuckin’ wanna drag all that shit up. but... they got counselors, who just give you suggestions, ya know? like they recommended me to a training program for my dogs, so they can help when i get overwhelmed. and they gave me a list of things to try when i’m in a bad place. jus’— somethin’ to think about, ” he shrugged, trailing off as he leaned back and sipped at his iced tea. it wasn’t something he wanted to pressure tate into. but he also didn’t want tate to blindly block out everything that had a possibility of helping. “ well i hope yer liver relaxes, ” jax replied, just barely smiling, hoping to get tate to relax some too.  “ yeah... we were best friends all through high school. remember i told you, how he went away to art school, got involved in sketchy shit, and we had a falling out. that’s jonny. same jonny you know, apparently. but smoking does help with the sleep thing. while your liver is healing, ya know? plus, i’d pay good money t’ see you stoned out of yer mind. ”

…and I am out with lanterns, looking for myself.

Emily Dickinson, The Letters of Emily Dickinson. (via foism)

[ right rib cage. ] 

[ right hip bone. ] 

[ left rib cage. w/ his own information. ]

                               𝕁  𝕒  𝕩  𝕠  𝕟 ’ 𝕤    𝕋  𝕒  𝕥  𝕥  𝕠  𝕠  𝕤

If you were to ask Jaxon why he had so many tattoos, he’d simply answer it with this: “For a long time, my body was scarred and marked without my permission. I’ve made peace with that. Tattoos are my way of taking back control of the stories my skin tells.” Well… that, and MMA fighting culture and USMC soldier culture are fairly encouraging of tattoos. 

Tattoos, locations, and reasoning are as follows.

Keep reading

the lost boys // jaxathan

his heart thudded harshly against the inside of his ribs, banging out a beat that rang in his ears and drowned out the city noises behind him. ginger whined and leaned against his leg, concerned at his stillness. but jaxon was frozen, staring at the drying paint on the wall, at the brushstrokes made by hands that used to paint neosporin over his cuts, at the marks left behind by a man he didn’t know anymore. jaxon felt sick, and scared, and that teenage angry heartbreak all over again. he shouldn’t be here. it was too much. but he couldn’t move. he could barely breathe. jonny had done this. jonny... 

jamie yipped and tugged at his leash, breaking the daze jaxon’s emotions had kept him in. he looked down in confusion, following jamie’s gaze, right into jonny’s. 

biggest regret?

“ not bein’ there for tate. that was... yeah, biggest mistake of my life. i was a piece of shit, and i fucked up. i should have been there for him. he may have forgiven me, at least partially. but i don’t think i’ll ever forgive myself. ”

@tatemcallisterr

it wasn't an unusual night, not by far. as much as he tried to sleep normally on his days off, it just didn't work. and most times, he didn't want it to work. it was just... easier to sleep during the day. and the dogs hadn't been taken out in a while. sure, they had the backyard, but that wasn't the same as the park. and the world seemed scrubbed clean after the storm. other than feeling achingly alone, slightly broken, and on edge from a nightmare, it was kind of a nice night... 

he cocked his arm back and threw the ball across the wide, open lawn. his flashlight shined across the field, crossing briefly across a figure that surprised him. his heartrate leapt, and the appearance of another person only made him feel more on edge. some of that was eased as another dog ran after the ball and his own pups.  " hello? " he called out lamely, not wanting to ignore the other unknown person in the park at 2am.

@beautifulburnout