𝕛𝕒𝕩𝕠𝕟 𝕤𝕒𝕨𝕪𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔

beautifulburnout:

It was odd that they kept running into each other randomly like this. But it didn’t bother Jonny. Even if he had mixed emotions about things between them he was still happy to see Jaxon. Jonny was admittedly more worried than he let on and he’d wanted to see Jax. Fate was on his side he supposed. “Yeah we gotta stop randomly running into each other like this.” As soon as he heard his name Tanis rolled onto his back and started wiggling for a belly rub. He loved attention a little too much. But a lot of people said that pets were a reflection of their owners. “Yeah that’s him,” Jonny shook his head at the goofy animal but smiled nonetheless. “And here I thought I’d have the park all to myself. Late night?”

The dark part of him wanted to be alone. he wanted to be left to stew in his own bullshit, and wallow in the crap he refused to deal with. but there was a lighter prick of hope at jonny's appearance that reminded him he's not alone. it was nice in a way he wasn't quite ready to admit. " hey, I was here first, " jax joked in response, leaning down on one knee to scratch at Tanis' belly.  " it's on you this time. " he smiled gently up at jonny before turning his attention back to tanis. the puppy was cute, and resilient, and seemed almost completely unaware of the fact that he was handicapped. jax admired that.  " night off. the dogs were restless and I didn't feel like just hangin' out at home. how 'bout you? "

beautifulburnout:

“He’s my little shadow,” Jonny agreed despite the stiffness of Jaxon’s words. He could still feel the tension and it felt like things were starting to bubble over. Maybe it was just that it was so obvious to him that Jaxon wasn’t comfortable around him. The first time he understood, and even when he got mugged things were a little weird but it just seemed like a continuing trend and it honestly made him worry. This was why he felt like he was forcing his company on Jaxon and why he offered him an out. He very much expected him to take it but when he brought up hanging out Jonny actually turned to look at him. He studied Jaxon’s features as he considered the offer. Was it just him being kind? But Jonny supposed if he didn’t want to hang out he would have taken the out. He was just surprised at the offer and it took him a moment to respond. “Peach vodka, huh?” He tucked his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels as if he was really considering things. But he smiled and gave a nod. “Yeah, I’m game. I wanna see how awful this vodka really is,” he chuckled and turned to look at the dogs once more. “Besides, imagine how sad they’d be if we cut their playtime short.”

jaxon could see the mix of surprise on jonny's face after his offer. he knew it meant that his behaviors, and the way he's been acting toward jonny hadn't been great. there was a twinge of guilt at the realization, but a feeling of helplessness along with it. how could he act towards jonny like they used to? after all this time? after all that pain? he tried not to think too hard about It at the moment. instead he just smiled at jonny, somewhat pleased at his acceptance. maybe this was when they should finally, actually, really talk. late at night, just the two of them, over a couple drinks... maybe it wouldn't be so bad. jaxon forced himself to not think too deeply about it, and to stay in the moment. to enjoy this moment. without ruining it by wondering, what if, what next, what now?  " yeah. peach vodka. ugh. a marine buddy gave it to me for my birthday. 'cause he thinks he's funny, " jax scoffed, shaking his head. " yeah. alright. cool. um... do ya just wanna follow me in my truck? "

Jαхoɴ Sαwyer + [moodboard]

@tatemcallisterr

“ …. — if you wanna start a fight, ya better throw the first punch. 

                                                                                  — m a k e  i t  a  g o o d  o n e . ”

im dealing with my shit the way im dealing with it.  are my methods unhealthy? yes. are they effective? no. am i going to change what im doing? nope. 

it wasn't an unusual night, not by far. as much as he tried to sleep normally on his days off, it just didn't work. and most times, he didn't want it to work. it was just... easier to sleep during the day. and the dogs hadn't been taken out in a while. sure, they had the backyard, but that wasn't the same as the park. and the world seemed scrubbed clean after the storm. other than feeling achingly alone, slightly broken, and on edge from a nightmare, it was kind of a nice night... 

he cocked his arm back and threw the ball across the wide, open lawn. his flashlight shined across the field, crossing briefly across a figure that surprised him. his heartrate leapt, and the appearance of another person only made him feel more on edge. some of that was eased as another dog ran after the ball and his own pups.  " hello? " he called out lamely, not wanting to ignore the other unknown person in the park at 2am.

@beautifulburnout

hinemoanax:

Kora blinks in the darkness as the man on their porch speaks - they recognize the voice, and as their eyes adjust, their brows lift. They hadn’t expected Jax to be the one to turn up on their doorstep - usually if anyone arrived at their house in the middle of the night it was a drunk college-friend who’d thought it’d be easier to uber to Kora’s and crash on their couch. 

“Oh. Sup, dude.” 

Kora blinks a few more times like a sleepy child trying to process something, kind of just letting his words rush over them. They don’t say anything for a second, snapping the door shut. It opens a moment later, as they’d had to slide the chain off before letting him in. 

“I can handle blood,” they say, pulling the door open to let him in. Normally they’d probably be a little freaked out in a situation like this, but they were at that stage of sleep-deprivation where everything felt just a little surreal, like they were watching themselves from afar. Like they were existing but slightly to the left, or like they were watching it on tv.

“Uh… What the fuck happened?” They ask as they usher him inside, shutting the door and locking it again out of habit. They scuttle across the room afterwards to flick on a main light, illuminating the room that’d previously only been lit by a side lamp and the blue glow of the television. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, of course.” They’re quiet a moment before flapping a hand at him, dragging a chair out from under the kitchen table and gesturing it as they try to think back to that first aid course they took in high school. 

“Uh. You should sit, or something.”

jaxon groaned as he shifted, the wound in lower back shooting sharply with pain. this had to take the cake for one of the fucking stupidest thing he’d gotten himself into. seeing kora’s hesitant reaction, he couldn’t help be feel guilty for imposing himself (and all his bullshit) on the younger one. but kora was someone he thought as solid, and he’d definitely be making it up to them in the future. hard. 

“ ‘course you can ask. i mean, i’m showin’ up here late as fuck, bleeding. kinda owe it to you, ” he huffed with a soft chuckle.  “ i, uh... got into a bar fight. which, is dumb enough. but people are stupid and crazy, and this guy’s buddy stabbed me with a god damn nail. and i.... i kinda need you t’ pull it out. i’ll talk you through it. ” he offered up, a small consolation to an admittedly crazy request. he’d do it himself, but with the nail shoved into the meat on the left side of his lower back, he couldn’t really reach it on his own. 

he sat with a groan, sitting sideways and pulling his shirt higher up off his back. the nail was protruding about an inch out of his back. driving here was a fucking bitch, but it was the reason he came here. it was the closest. he set a small first aid kit on the kitchen table (one of the ones he kept in his truck). “ if this is too much, tell me. i don’t wanna ask you t’ do something you’re not okay with. i know it’s a lot. ”

There are so many pieces of you I see in myself. So many slivers of your soul that slipped into mine. Part of me loves them, I can feel them spreading warmth and sunlight to the darkest parts of my soul. I know that wherever I am the best thing that ever happened to me is in me. Another part of me hates them, I want to rip them out of my chest with my bare hands and crush them. Not in anger but in frustration that only a little crumb of you is here when I need all of you. I love you too much

Mustxngkid (via wnq-writers)

@beautifulburnout