Theprodigalsoldier-blog - ♠ Attente Tourmente ♠

beautifulburnout:

Tonight wasn’t Jonny’s night. His bare toes flexed against the pavement and the artist let out a soft and frustrated sigh. His eyes were puffy from crying, his hair a mess and his jacket ripped. He sniffed and his hands rubbed across his face as headlights illuminated him. He looked like a wreck and felt like one. It was hard to deal with the fact that you got mugged, clear down to designer shoes. It wasn’t like he could call for help either. Not with this phone stolen He had no way of getting a cab because the mugger had taken his wallet as well. And it wasn’t like he’d be walking far with tender bare feet. Instead he sat on the curb feeling both useless and more than a little dejected. He felt foolish. Jonny grew up in New York, he lived in Portland. It wasn’t like he was new to avoiding that sort of trouble and yet here he sat. A victim to some guy who no doubt preyed on tourists. Yeah, fuck this night and fuck this city. He just wanted to go home.

his shift had ran a little long. well, in truth, he’d made it run a little long. their job was technically done, and his partner had caught a ride home. but after responding to a call about a teenage tent city, jaxon hung back, to get the small group of teenagers some food, and sit and chat with them. they were good kids, just in bad situations, most of them emancipated or 18. it broke jax’s heart to see them out like this. he’d given them his card, and told them to call if anyone gave them any trouble. now he was driving back to the station, tired, and weary, and taking his time. the man slumped on the curb caught his eye. the jacket didn’t say homeless, but barefeet and body language spelled trouble. 

jaxon pulled over a little up the curb, climbing out with flashlight in hand. “ sir? are you okay? ” he called out, shining the flashlight just close enough to get a look at his face. “ jonny? ” he was incredulous and frankly, fucking shocked. “ jonny, what the hell? ” he said, squatting down in front of him to get a better look. “ what happened? are you okay? what’s goin’ on? ” despite all of his complicated feelings about them and him, jaxon’s protective instinct flooded his chest and drowned anything else out.  

shvdykiid:

                        The pair share a strange relationship and it shows Oliver holds a fondness for the man currently scowl. The ginger just rolls his eyes and takes one of the many cupcakes. Gingerly taking a bite before he begins to start the bickering that just seems to always happen between the two. Maybe it was the clash between personalities. Jax is warmer in comparison to Oliver’s standoffish personality.

“What’s the big deal? You’re still young and got loads of years to go through before you start needing my help around here,” Oliver teased as he held a serious face. He takes another bite to enjoy the cupcake.  “Are these homemade or from a bakery?”

sure, they hadn’t met in the most conventional of ways. but jaxon’s life hadn’t really been conventional anyways. so what was one more? plus, the kid was interesting and amusing, and the morgue was a quiet place for jax to get away when he was tired of all the bro-y cop shit.  “ you gonna be my hospice? or jus’ gonna do my autopsy? ” he shot back with a mirrored teasing. the cupcake was mostly unconsumed, but he picked at the frosting, very slowly eating it.  “ homemade. mama likes to be smug about doin’ shit by hand for me. just tell me if i’m bein’ a fucking brat. ”

Look what they do to you Look what they do to me Must be joking if you think that either one is free, here Get up off your knees, girl Stand face to face with your God And find out what you are (Hello, my name is human)

I'm ready for love and I'm ready for war But I'm ready for more I know that nobody's ever been this fucking ready before, hey (Do you need some time to think it over?)

All the honesty memes!

♥ - Something they like about your muse.

how kind and soft jonny is. jaxon really appreciates how much jonny cares. and how unabashed he is about it. it makes jaxon feel better about caring too much sometimes, and like that it reminds him that it’s a good thing. 

❦ - Something they hate about your muse.

jonny’s self-destructive tendencies. a small part of him, that he wouldn’t ever admit to outloud, blames jonny’s bad habits for the ending of their friendship. jaxon hates that jonny was so stubborn about wanting to get involved with shit jaxon knew was bad for him. 

✎ - A reason they’re jealous of your muse.

he likes how much jonny laughs, smiles, and jokes around. being serious or grumpy around jonny never lasts long, and jaxon is jealous how easy it is for jonny to find the good things, and enjoy the moment. so often jaxon gets caught up in his own negativity and his own bullshit. to jaxon, it seems like jonny doesn’t struggle with that quite so much. 

♪ - A secret they’re keeping from your muse.

uh, i mean… a lot. but the big one is his feelings for jonny. even after ten years, jaxon’s romantic feelings for jonny haven’t diminished. oh, and also how bad his ptsd really is. a lot of his behaviors are by-products of that, but jaxon has a really hard time admitting that. and doesn’t want to worry jonny. 

♤ - What they thought about your muse when first meeting.

“ how is someone so clumsy using a skateboard as their main form of transportation? i bet he falls like… a lot. ” (lmfao hes a dick) 

rcbeccxs:

— @theprodigalsoldier

    The news that Gavin was deployed longer than he should have, deeply troubled Rebecca. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, she overly worried about her brother’s life. It wasn’t as though she could help – even though she had some security around Las Vegas, with the family her brother had made inside the marines and presented her with, it was still different than having her brother around. She would have to give the news to her parents, she would have to give the news to little Sarah ( that she wasn’t excited about in the slightest ), but for now, she needed to be with someone who could help her making some sense out of it, who maybe could put her head in the right place and tell her it was all going to be alright in the very end.

   Which was exactly how she came to a stop on the doorstep of Jaxon’s house, facing the door as she waited for him to open it so she could let out her frustrations. Word vomits were not something she often did, but whenever she did them, they were in front of Jaxon, after all, he was the closest thing Rebecca had to a brother when her brother was away. The bond they ended up forming stunned her and whenever he was around, the woman just couldn’t believe how actually lucky she was. Upon hearing the door opening and seeing the large man ( her big bear ) behind it, she smiled almost nervously. “ — I’m so sorry for showing up so suddenly, I just didn’t know where else to go. It’s Gavin, he called today telling me he is going to be deployed longer and moved somewhere he can’t say, but it’s probable we wont have contact for over a week. That’s normal right?” Word vomit came, and she couldn’t quite stop. “Uhm, this is not some let’s catch Bin Laden thing?”

it was a bad habit, and he fucking knew it. rationally, he knew this was probably the worst thing for him. but that didn’t stop him from isolating himself and falling into the dark spiral of old emotions he couldn’t sort out. and he wasn’t sure what ever would. this didn’t stop it from happening, but becca showing up at his door, with worry and anxiety scrawled across her brow and in her gaze... it brought him out of himself just enough to cause a shift. from unsure and scared and lost in his head, to straightened shoulders and hands pulling becca into the house and against his chest. 

he hugged her warm, and tight, and just a little too long to help ease her nerves.  “ first, never apologize for showin’ up here, becks, ” he murmured, kissing her head and closing the door behind them.  “ c’mon. let me get you a drink. what do ya want? coffee? tea? whiskey? ” he asked, a teasing little smirk in attempt to soothe her tension.  “ and yeah, babe. that’s normal. lots of classified stuff in th’ military, especially at the level he’s at. and communication is always difficult when yer moving bases. gotta make sure its safe, ya know? and bin laden is already dead, love. he’ll call as soon as he can. but he’s still workin’, ya know? not calling could just mean busy. not necessarily compromised. ”

beautifulburnout:

Jonny wondered if it was still on Jaxon’s mind. It was hard not to think about how things between them had ended. There had been more than one time Jonny thought about Jaxon. Hell, he even tried to reach out to him once. But Jaxon didn’t really seem like the social media type. He never got the chance. And now that he was face to face with him he couldn’t find the words. Ten years was a long time and a simple ‘i’m sorry’ didn’t seem like it would ever be enough. “They seem really sweet,” he agreed fondly while looking at the pits. He was glad that Jax had them. He could see how protective Ginger was and it honestly warmed his heart, even if she didn’t seem overly fond of him right now. He chuckled at their names and was unable to resist rubbing behind Jamie’s ears. “Ya would name your dogs after a whiskey drink. Weirdo,” he teased gently with a stupid, fond little smile.

The feeling of Jaxon’s arms around him, no matter how brief, felt warm and familiar. How many times had he run into those arms when things were hard? The hug was over too quickly and it left a twinge in his heart. He knew that no matter what had happened he’d still always care about Jaxon deeply, but he wasn’t sure if Jaxon felt the same. He wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, but Jonny wasn’t the same person who made that mistake all those years ago and maybe this was the universe’s way of telling him he could get a second chance with the man he once considered his best friend. “It’s good to see ya too, Jax,” he replied softly. While he didn’t want Jaxon to go he knew it would be selfish of him to keep him any longer. “I’m done but…yeah I should head home. But um…wait a sec.” Jonny quickly dug into his bag and dug out one of his sketch pads so he could scribble down his number. He signed it 'Jay’ , a little throwback to their high school days. “Here. If ya ever want to talk…I’d love to hear from ya.”

jaxon shrugged and smiled a little back. it was hard not to. talking about the dogs always made him happy and jonny... had always made him happy. the pang of ache at the memory made him retreat again, as if emotionally flinching away from past pain. this was all too fucking much, and jaxon couldn’t sort through any of it in his head. it was all one big tangled ball of nostalgia, old, unhealed heartbreak, and dormant emotions he’d refused to deal with for so long. jonny was dredging all that up again, with a little smile and a tease, and jaxon hated that he felt angry. what had happened to him? what went wrong that emotions made terrified?  “ i needed a good pair of names. all the other ones were dumb, ” he replied, trying to keep the reservation from showing through in his voice. anxiety scuttled beneath his skin, stoking his frustration and his desire to run. 

“ oh... ” he replied lamely. “ well.. maybe i’ll, uh... come see it when its dried. ” it was an attempt. an olive branch, maybe? a ‘i know i’m running away now but i don’t want to disappear again’. would jonny understand? he forced himself to focus on the moment, knowing he’d wallow in all of this later on. “ y-yeah... ” he said, clearing his throat and taking the piece of paper. jonny’s handwriting was still the same, and he couldn’t help but remember all the notes they passed back and forth to each other in class. jaxon felt so fucking hung up on their memories and... them. did jonny? or was all of that just old high school memories to him? his heart twinged with pain at the possibility. and he felt immediately stupid. it was stupid. to care so god damn much. 30 years old, so many fucking years later, and jaxon still wasn’t over high school. how fucking stupid. “ i’ll see you around, jonny d, ” he replied, smiling politely at him and tucking the paper into his pocket. “ c’mon, babies. let’s go home. ”

the lost boys // jaxathan

jaxon tucked his hands into his leather jacket, a Marlboro Red cigarette hanging from his lips, as he waited for tate outside McCormick’s. the text and the request came somewhat as a surprise to him, especially considering tate’s history. he’d always regarded the man as a serial monogamist. and he was pretty sure tate agreed. after the heartbreak of his high school sweetheart that dear john’d him, tate hadn’t ever been interested in going out to bars with jax. but now... he was. jax was trying to be optimistic about the night, rather than worried about what it really meant that tate was going out just to get laid. 

“ hey, man, ” jax smirked, taking the cigarette from his mouth and reaching out to grasp tate’s hand. “ want a cigarette? ” he offered, wanting to feel out tate’s vibe before they headed in. 

@tatemcallisterr

“ …. — if you wanna start a fight, ya better throw the first punch. 

                                                                                  — m a k e  i t  a  g o o d  o n e . ”

im dealing with my shit the way im dealing with it.  are my methods unhealthy? yes. are they effective? no. am i going to change what im doing? nope. 

Kellan Lutz in Geoffrey Beene Spring Summer 2017 Campaign 

shvdykiid:

“Hm…” he sighs like he’s giving it some real thought. “You know– I wouldn’t mind being both. I would like to still be around to do your autopsy,” he says with a genuine tone. If only the boy knew how strange it was to say such a thing. He forgets other’s aren’t as twisted on the inside. While he wants to do his best skill as a favor, he doesn’t understand just how creepy it really is. “I’ll make sure no one stuffs you and your casket with money and/or drugs.” He speaks with a teasing tone, but his eyes say there is truth to his promise.

Despite the talk of death in their conversation, Ollie gave a shrug when it came to the cupcake. “I don’t normally like sweet foods. Yet, I can see myself buying these cupcakes from a bakery. It’s the highest compliments to your mother. You’re being a brat and nothing is wrong with your age,” he speaks with a smirk.

jaxon laughed warmly and shook his head, no doubt amused by oliver’s dark sense of humor. in a weird, fucked up way, it was familiar. after all, nothing like gallows humor to alleviate the drudgery of war. it must’ve been why jaxon felt so comfortable around the odd boy.  “ sounds like a nice way t’ go out. just promise you’ll keep me heavily drugged, ” jax replied, leaning back in his chair and smearing the icing beneath his finger.  “ awe, thanks. that’s sweet. no cupcakes either, yeah? homemade or bakery. ”  jax had come to terms with death and dying years ago. maybe it should phase him, and yet.  “ yeah, i’ not huge on sweets either. which she knows. but if you knew my mama, you’d know she’s teasin’ me with this. but i’ll let her know you like ‘em. against all odds. and yer right, i know i’m being dumb. i dunno. do you like yer birthday? ”