No Thoughts Just Jason Blasting ‘white Girl Music’ On His Motorbike As Red Hood

Gotham fucking loves Brucie Wayne

Some nice Brucie Wayne headcanons for you all

Hes an idiot and a dork but he makes social events interesting because who else would fall into the chocolate fountain?

At any social event where kids are invited as well he can most definitely be found with the kids, talking to them like they are adults

He never treats anyone as inferior unless they're dicks

He once punched riddler in the face because he interrupted a girls birthday party

He has an entire fashion line that is dedicated to giving people actually comfortable practical clothes

Hes an absolute unit in bed. For both men and women. (either top or bottom)

He once held a man upside down by his ankles and shook him until everything had fallen out of his pockets because he had used to be a bully and was now a dick

Can and will walk teenagers home if its late at night. 

Always tips very generously

He was once in line at a batburger and there was a karen yelling at the poor 16 year old cashier and he walked to the front and just started sticking 100 dollar bills into the tip jar with the nastiest smile aimed at the karen. ‘The more you yell the more i tip.’ (the cashier was, coincidently stephanie brown, and she high fived him)

He has a social media but never uses it unless its to draw awareness to a certain cause or to show off his children. 

He also posts beautiful pictures of gotham, or of mundane everyday things, showcasing the beauty in life

(Is canonically a feminist)

Will protect waiters/servers/janitors from creeps or gotham elite who think theyre better than them

He stopped adopting kids but still pays for as many college tuitions as he can

Funded a city wide disability infrastructure plan so people with wheelchairs could go places too

He once rocked three guys with guns’s shit because they were attempting to molest these little boys

Punched a teacher in the face for making a student cry

Will at any time drop everything the second one of his kids asks him to

There is an entire instagram account dedicated to pictures of him helping old people cross the street

Once a month he visits inmates at the prison and offers them jobs

Genuinely cares for his workers and buys them houses and cars if they need it

Literally created gothams public transportation system and made sure it was free

Teamed up with poison ivy to make public gardens for everyone to enjoy

Funds clean energy research

Any celebrity fan mail he receives he answers personally

One time a little girl asked him to come to her birthday party and he did and brought presents

Taught an entire school basic self defense

Brucie Wayne may be an idiotic little shit but he is the Prince of Gotham and Gothamites would lay down their lives for him more willingly than they would for Batman.

Oh look it's Dick Grayson

Batman Au: All of the kids have not only their own vigilante outfits such as Nightwing or Spoiler but also their own batman ones. They're pre-made in case of emergencies and constantly updated.

The league have no idea that the batman they keep meeting are different people for a very long time.

Dick: why didn't you bring your partner to dinner tonight, Jay?

Jason, playing dumb: no idea what you're talking about, Dickhead

Dick: oh come on, I know you're dating someone!

Steph: what, you think Jason has game??? get real

-later-

Steph: oh, I know Jason's dating Roy. he's not slick about hiding it. I just thought it was funny to gaslight Dick

tim: mama didn’t raise no quitter

bruce: technically your mother didn’t raise anyone, your parents were extremely neglectful

tim: way to brighten the mood b

Someone better give me fanfiction recommendations soon

I want to see a fic where all of the Batkids end up in Gotham during the early Batman and Dick!Robin days and eventually end up in the cave with a much younger Batman and kid Dick. There is the disbelief and ensuing genetic test to confirm there really are two Dicks, but Bruce is still questioning who the others are.

One of the batkids says something like “We’re all your kids” and Dick replies “Well almost all of us”

Jason ribs at him “This before Bats actually adopted you? Still just a ward?”

Dick just stares at him confused “What?… You do know he never adopted me right??”

Jason glances over at Tim, not believing what was said, who looks up from his laptop and just slowly nods, intimately aware of the complexities of the early Batman and Robin situation.

And Jason gets Mad. Rips into Bruce for adopting the rest but never the first, for not hesitating with him but apparently never bothering with the one he’s called his brother all this time. He’s not even sure why he’s so angry about this but it rubs him really wrong. Dick is so confused by this sudden anger on his behalf, still having a rocky relationship with Jay on a good day. Though he would never show it, it gets to Bruce even though he’s still reeling from the idea that he will adopt these several children.

This could lead into a heartfelt conversation between Jason and Dick a la “How could you stand it when he adopted me?” “We talked about it a little when he first decided to do it. I asked him why he never adopted me. Sometimes his answer is enough for me; sometimes I want to punch him off a rooftop when I think about it… I hated it back then, the title ‘ward,’ that he accepted you like that after he threw me out, that he gave you my name, my suit… But I never hated you, not really.” Or to an introspective reevaluation of everything Jason ‘knows’ about Dick ‘Golden Boy’ Grayson-Wayne, the favorite son who was never even a son. There could also be some angsty interaction between big Dick and little Dick (I had to), trying not to reveal too much but also trying to prepare his younger self a little for the upheaval his life will go through when Bruce decides to take in another kid (and then another and another).

(Bonus points if somehow they get Damian in the original Robin suit and then never let him live it down. Maybe even the extra angst of Dick putting on the batsuit to fight a modern rogue in the past without debuting Nightwing early, taking Dami with him. Tim gets plenty of stalker like photos for blackmail purposes)

Bruce: Where is Batmobile?

Jason: Where are the flowers?

Bruce: What flowers?

Jason: My flowers, on my grave. Today is the day I diеd, don’t you remember?

Bruce: You are alive, so your flowers are in the shop. Where is Batmobile?

Jason: And you are a jerk, so your Batmobile is in the river.

Bruce Wayne wakes up in the past, five months after Jason Todd died, and spends most days sat beside the grave because he never found out exactly when Jason had come back and he wanted to be there to save him when he did.

From an outside perspective, everyone is extremely concerned.

The Robins(and 1 signal) + The Onion/Reductress headlines

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