Gotham Fucking Loves Brucie Wayne

Gotham fucking loves Brucie Wayne

Some nice Brucie Wayne headcanons for you all

Hes an idiot and a dork but he makes social events interesting because who else would fall into the chocolate fountain?

At any social event where kids are invited as well he can most definitely be found with the kids, talking to them like they are adults

He never treats anyone as inferior unless they're dicks

He once punched riddler in the face because he interrupted a girls birthday party

He has an entire fashion line that is dedicated to giving people actually comfortable practical clothes

Hes an absolute unit in bed. For both men and women. (either top or bottom)

He once held a man upside down by his ankles and shook him until everything had fallen out of his pockets because he had used to be a bully and was now a dick

Can and will walk teenagers home if its late at night.

Always tips very generously

He was once in line at a batburger and there was a karen yelling at the poor 16 year old cashier and he walked to the front and just started sticking 100 dollar bills into the tip jar with the nastiest smile aimed at the karen. ‘The more you yell the more i tip.’ (the cashier was, coincidently stephanie brown, and she high fived him)

He has a social media but never uses it unless its to draw awareness to a certain cause or to show off his children.

He also posts beautiful pictures of gotham, or of mundane everyday things, showcasing the beauty in life

(Is canonically a feminist)

Will protect waiters/servers/janitors from creeps or gotham elite who think theyre better than them

He stopped adopting kids but still pays for as many college tuitions as he can

Funded a city wide disability infrastructure plan so people with wheelchairs could go places too

He once rocked three guys with guns’s shit because they were attempting to molest these little boys

Punched a teacher in the face for making a student cry

Will at any time drop everything the second one of his kids asks him to

There is an entire instagram account dedicated to pictures of him helping old people cross the street

Once a month he visits inmates at the prison and offers them jobs

Genuinely cares for his workers and buys them houses and cars if they need it

Literally created gothams public transportation system and made sure it was free

Teamed up with poison ivy to make public gardens for everyone to enjoy

Funds clean energy research

Any celebrity fan mail he receives he answers personally

One time a little girl asked him to come to her birthday party and he did and brought presents

Taught an entire school basic self defense

Brucie Wayne may be an idiotic little shit but he is the Prince of Gotham and Gothamites would lay down their lives for him more willingly than they would for Batman.

Fanfiction Recommendations!

Roy Harper/Jason Todd And everyone thinks I dodged a bullet, but I think I shot the gun by Daisyapples on AO3.

Tags

jason todd roy harper lian harper Roy Harper/Jason Todd Bruce Wayne Tries To Be Involved Jason Todd Falling In Love Green Arrow Tries To Be A Good Dad

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thegothamgazettereportermarie

11 months ago

Dick: why didn't you bring your partner to dinner tonight, Jay?

Jason, playing dumb: no idea what you're talking about, Dickhead

Dick: oh come on, I know you're dating someone!

Steph: what, you think Jason has game??? get real

-later-

Steph: oh, I know Jason's dating Roy. he's not slick about hiding it. I just thought it was funny to gaslight Dick

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thegothamgazettereportermarie

11 months ago

The Robins(and 1 signal) + The Onion/Reductress headlines

Other batfam

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thegothamgazettereportermarie

11 months ago

jason: i think we should get a divorce

steph: what are you doing?

jason: just practicing

steph: why are you already planning your hypothetical divorce?

jason: i don't know. i'm getting old, i think i'm having a mid-life crisis

steph: you don't even have a girlfriend

jason: hypothetically divorce me

steph: okay, then i'm hypothetically taking half your assets

jason: well, you didn't sign the hypothetical prenup

jason, to duke: it's called a prenup, right?

duke: yeah, it's a prenup, and you DID hypothetically sign one

steph: who the fuck is this guy?

duke: i'm his hypothetical lawyer in this divorce case

steph: well, then, i'm taking the hypothetical kids

steph, to tim: right? we can get those, right?

tim: yes, we can definitely get the hypothetical kids, don't worry about it

jason: who the fuck is this hypothetical fucking idiot? a hella fucking nerd idiot

tim: wow, that is a lot of hypothetical insults. i need to keep these on for continuity because i look like the other lawyer

steph: this is MY hypothetical lawyer, and we have been hypothetically sleeping with each other

jason: how could you hypothetically do this to me?!

steph: because you hypothetically are an alcoholic!

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thegothamgazettereportermarie

11 months ago

Batman Fanfiction

At The End Of The World / Or The Last Thing I See / You Are Never Coming Home, Never Coming Home by Arkham_Knightx

Tags

batman justice league dick grayson damian wayne bruce wayne tim drake batman and robin jason todd barbara gordon duke thomas roy harper birds of prey lian harper Roy Harper/Jason Todd The Bats Are Dead

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thegothamgazettereportermarie

11 months ago

Dick Grayson, leaving the house late at night in an incredibly tight cop uniform, smiling and coming home with bruises and a pay check: Hey guys :DD

the entire Batman: it’s okay, we know your a….a stripper and we will try our best to support you

Dick who just wanted to work in the police force: wait what

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thegothamgazettereportermarie

11 months ago

The Ghost and the Genius - firefright - DCU (Comics) [Archive of Our Own]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Roy Harper/Jason Todd Characters: Roy Harper, Jason Todd Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Ghosts, Handcuffs, Domestic Fluff, Past Character Death, Cute, Meet-Cute Summary:

As a paranormal investigator, Roy really should have caught onto the fact there was a ghost living in his home sooner. But since this particular spirit seems more interested in cleaning up the house than haunting it, he thinks he can be forgiven.

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thegothamgazettereportermarie

11 months ago

Dick: Hurry up Timmy! We're going to be late!

Tim: I just have to find my phone!

Jason: Screw this! I'm just going to call it

Tim: NO WAIT-

*Cardi B's Bodak Yellow plays*

Jason: You realize that I have to beat the shit out of you again, right?

Tim: And in a refreshing change of pace, I actually deserve it this time

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thegothamgazettereportermarie

11 months ago

i've seen vampire bruce stories, and i've seen bruce is not actually a vampire but everyone else thinks he is stories, and now i'm just thinking a human bruce with his very batty(Iliterally) vampire children hanging around under his cape like adorable little terrifying shadow creatures whose eyes glow in the dark

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thegothamgazettereportermarie

11 months ago

Bruce: Where is Batmobile?

Jason: Where are the flowers?

Bruce: What flowers?

Jason: My flowers, on my grave. Today is the day I diеd, don’t you remember?

Bruce: You are alive, so your flowers are in the shop. Where is Batmobile?

Jason: And you are a jerk, so your Batmobile is in the river.

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