“i Wish We Could Have A Tgcf Spinoff Of Hua Cheng’s Pov”

childe could also EASILY be beidou

Chongyun: oh, auntie. you’re late

Shenhe: yes i’m sorry. i was doing… things

Xingqiu: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS

Xiao: defending morax on the internet isn’t enough i need a gun

Adrien: *gets a paper cut*

Marinette, under her breath: hasn’t he been through enough

Childe: zhongli and i have been fighting lately

Childe: how do you deal with arguments between you and ningguang?

Beidou: me and my bitch don’t argue

Beidou: she tells me to shut up and i do

Fatui gift exchange

Scaramouche: okay so if anyone draws their own name, we’ll all draw again

Dottore: cool

Signora: okay

Childe: what if we draw someone else’s name?

Dottore: that’s fine right? yeah

Scaramouche: that’s good, that’s what we want

Signora: what if we pick someone that we don’t like?

Childe: it’s just the four of us. do you dislike one of the four of us?

Signora: no no no. *nods her head and points to childe*

Childe: …what if we pick someone who we don’t know?

Signora: yeah what if we get a slip and it’s like Albedo Krendinprinz from Mondstat?

Scaramouche: that will not happen

Dottore: how can you be sure though?

Signora: i like Albedo well enough i just would have no idea what to get him for a gift

Scaramouche: okay so there’s only four names and it’s our four names so everyone just pick one and-

Signora: i’m worried that if i get Albedo the wrong thing, he’ll think that i’m a loser

Childe: aw really? you’re worried about that?

Signora: i’m serious i’m nervous about it

Childe: i’m sure you’ll get him the perfect thing

Signora: thanks that means a lot

Childe: i wouldn’t say it if i didn’t mean it

Scaramouche: does everyone have a slip? did anyone pick themself?

Signora: i got Childe

Scaramouche: no don’t-

Childe: i got Dottore

Dottore: guys! it’s suppose to be secret

Scaramouche: thank you!

Dottore: you’re not suppose to look at the name

Childe: ohhh

Scaramouche: well you’re allowed to- you can read your own slip

Dottore: oh. okay i got Scaramouche

Scaramouche: dude

Signora: i wish i would’ve gotten Scaramouche

Childe: what the hell?!

Signora: i don’t know if this is coming together

Dottore: i’m probably just going to get a gift for Albedo Krendinprinz from Mondstat to be safe

Childe: since my slip says Dottore does that mean he’s the one who helps me figure out what to get Albedo Krendinprinz from Mondstat?

Paimon: your smug self assuredness is revolting

Childe: i think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. i did nothing wrong and i have a heart of gold

Traveler: i think this message is extremely valid but also childe has tried to drown liyue so what’s the truth

Childe: i was so close too

Childe: i’m about to go fight scaramouche i’ll post the vid later

Childe: nvm i got my ass beat i’m not posting that shit

Diavolo: it’s understandable, no one is judging you. lucifer is strong and mysterious, but sort of compact and well muscled

Barbatos: i’m not in love with lucifer but i’m starting to think you might be

Mammon: ive only had a pact with this human for a day and a half but if anything happened to them, i would kill everyone in this room and then myself