(Creepypasta X Headcanon) NSFW Headcanons For The Slender Brothers -

Hi! God I missed you so much!) Welcome back!

Thanks! And sorry for getting to answering this late!

Lots have been going on actually in the life outside of Tumblr. I was in Sweden for two and a half month without any Wi-fi and got my hip placed back in place properly.

It was out of place, due to a hiking accident seven years ago and the doctors (of course 🙄) didn't find a thing and didn't know what's wrong with me, when even I could feel a the bone of my hip sticking up against my skin and against my right groin bone.

Due to always only laying around and pumping myself full of strong painkillers (that didn't even help and were very bad for my heart) to at least cope with the daily pain a little better, I got scoliosis and my muscles in legs and back went pretty much bye-bye, which is why I'm still quite unstable and have to wear a corset (which is annoying).

I've also had water in my thighs. In fact, so much that I couldn't even bend my knees properly anymore. And I was pigion-toeing very heavily to the point where my toes would almost touch each other or I would stumble over them often, while I was only walking on the outer space of my feet because of the hip misplacement.

Thanks to the treatment though I can finally walk properly and I'm not in pain anymore. I also lost a lot of weight during treatment with luke-warm lemon water to manage to discharge the trabbed water in my thighs and around my stomach. So now I'm about half my former weight! I lost 18 inches around the stomach.

Since I hope to go to Sweden again someday, I'm currently trying to learn Swedish and it's going quite good so far!

Recent events also had it that I got to care for a carrion crow! I suspect that it's a female and called her Elischeba, or Elli for short. My Mom found her in the morning when she went out for work barely three weeks ago.

Right now Elli is undergoing a worm treatment. These worms are living and multiplying in her lungs and giving her trouble breating, so they got to go.

However, when I made my way to the vet the first time to deliver a poop sample to the vet with my E-scooter, I've spontanously decided to pick beef with the pavement and it went out 1:0 for the pavement (According to a friend of mine the scooter said aveda kedavra 😂). After my tumble to the ground I felt very dizzy, disoriented and very nausous. And my hearing went woosh for a few minutes.

Though the X-ray didn't show a thing and I suspect it's just simply heavily sprained. I still can't move or bend my wrist and it started bruising pretty badly. But I think that it'll be fine in the end.

That was the update so far :)

Well, then I think it's time for you to deduce and find out! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😄😁😆😉😌☺️🤣😂💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

... I can't even send a gif? Boooring!

Fascinating that you have been testing it.

Are you bored or are you jealous of the new case I'm working on?

I didn't mean to scare her... And I was in Sweden for about two and a half month! 🕷️🥺🥰😘😍😳😭🥹🥺☺️😌🥳😋😉😁😇👉🏻👈🏻

Hey Harry, I'm back and I've missed talking to you! 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌😉😁🥺🥹😭

oh Spidey! it's been a while...

welcome back?!?

Crack Scenario: The Trix seeing Palladium's pre-evolution form

I know the true nature of his 'evolution' is unclear in canon, so for this little scenario, I'm going off of the HC that it's a spell

So imagine this: The Trix are attacking some fairies in one of Palladium's outdoor classes. Of course, Palladium is fighting them off while his students get to safety. Then, something happens (maybe Darcy casts a certain spell) and Palladium's evolution spell breaks

The Trix, for a moment, are silent, in shock. Then they just start RIOTING

Like:

"OH MY WITCHES, LOOK AT HIM, HE'S A GODDAMN TWINK"

"HE LOOKS LIKE THE KIND OF GUY WE'D SHOVE INTO A LOCKER, I CAN'T"

"I JUST CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY"

Then they either decide to finish beating his ass, or they just straight up leave, because they're not beating up this little shrimp of a man when there are goody-two-shoes fairies they can torment

Well, since keep saying that you didn't fall down the staircase, can I ask what exactly happened? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍🥺🥹😭😳🥲😅☺️😉😁😌🤣😂✨💯👉🏻👈🏻

Does your broken butt fell better today, Sherly? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍🥺🥹😭😳🥲😅☺️😉😁😌😂🤣👉🏻👈🏻

My posterior is not broken. The majority of it consists of muscles like the gluteus maximus, which you can't really break.

Concerning my bruised non-injured coccyx and sacrum, I might have palpated them when if I had fallen on them. And the theoretical palpation showed no broken or moving parts. No x-ray necessary given that a broken coccyx can't be treated with a cast anyway given you can't immobilise the bone properly.

But of course such a theoretical injury takes some days to heal and several impact points on legs and arms have bruises when you fall down the stairs. Hematoma usually take a few weeks to heal, as well as the pain to lessen. All theoretical, of course.

Spiders are not insects, they're arachnids. But that is a very beautiful latrodectus tredecimguttatus nonetheless. Did you take the picture yourself? I have to admit the picture has a rather good quality! 🕷️❤️

🕷❤️

That's okay! Thanks for the tipps anyway, Doctor! ...I also think I may or may have broken my scapthoid when I was was driving around with one of those e-scooters in my human form the other day. ...And I may or may not have waited for the symptoms to becomes better when they only became worse for five weeks! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😚😅😬🥺🙃🙂🥲🥹☺️😌✨👀💯👉🏻👈🏻

Hello doctor Watson! Just a quick question; How often should a hip normally be able to move out of socket (thanks to hip dysplsia)? 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘☺️😉😌😁😳😭😅🥺🥹😇👉🏻👈🏻

😃😧😰

If you have a diagnosis then your doctor should know severity and those questions should be directed at them. If it's a severe anomaly then there are treatment options/surgery.

It's important to talk about options with your doctor early as this is a classic condition that worsens over time, especially if you develop arthritis. Surgery is far more successful in those without arthritis in the hip.

So, please make sure to check this out with your doctor sooner rather later. As much as I'd love to help, I'm not sure I can work with such small equipment for your tiny arachnid body.

Dungeon Bats

Animagus!Snape x Animagus!Professor!Reader Wordcount: ~1000 Summary: Severus Snape thinks the Muggle Studies professor is strange only to find out she is an animagus with an awfully familiar form.

Read here or on ao3

The Muggle Studies professor was strange.

Hogwarts always had its fair share of odd characters occupying teaching positions. Even a ghost, evidently, was capable of teaching. But he couldn’t place what it was about you that made him so suspicious. 

You were human, not like Firenze or Professor Binns. You weren’t kooky like Hagrid or Professor Trelawney. Outwardly, you appeared perfectly normal. However, there were oddities if one looked closely.

You ate fruit. Lots of it. Every day at breakfast, instead of toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, things the other teachers would partake in, your breakfast consisted of fruit and only fruit, including a cup of pumpkin juice. Your plate appeared almost like a small pyramid, stacked with cubes of cantaloupe, pineapple, strawberries, honeydew, and grapes, leaving behind a pool of sweet juices when consumed. 

You also had a tendency to pop up and disappear seemingly out of nowhere. One time he went into your classroom to talk to you about moving a couple of detentions around only to find it empty, having swept his gaze around it. Just as he approached your office door to knock on it, you uttered a soft “hello” as you stood in the middle of the classroom, making him jump out of his skin. 

Furthermore, Filch had brought up to him once that he could hear some perplexing screeching noises echoing from random parts of the castle at night and even what sounded like right outside the windows. What was strange about it is he only brought them up the morning after you were scheduled to perform rounds.

This wasn’t to say he disliked you. Quite the opposite. Out of everyone in the castle, he’d say he preferred your company. Who he'd rather sit next to at Quidditch games? Probably you. Even though you were the Muggle Studies teacher, you had plenty of knowledge about Care for Magical Creatures and DADA. Potions weren’t your forte, but you’d happily let him ramble about the subject, even when he’d realize too late that he was rambling. 

“Why do you eat so much fruit?” he asked one day when you came into his classroom eating a sliced-up apple.

“Oh, uh, that’s just my animagus urges. Sorry, am I dripping juice on the ground again?”

He blinked dumbly at you. “You’re an animagus?”

You chuckled, “You didn’t know, Severus? I thought Minerva would’ve told you. Yes, I am an animagus.”

“What animal?” he asked. You smirked and set down the apple slices on a nearby table before shifting. Your robes moved with you, swishing up and shrinking until you took the form of a fruit bat. You flapped and swooped about the air in a few circles before landing on the flat surface of the table, using your talons and thumbs hooks to wriggle toward your sweet fruit.

“You’re a fruit bat,” he observed. You screeched at him in confirmation and began to gingerly gnaw on the flesh of the nearest apple slice. Severus remained quiet for a little, seemingly thinking to himself as his fingers flexed and his jaw clenched slightly. Much to your curiosity, he wordlessly set his wand down and took a deep breath. Within a flash, his robes swooped around him, and in his place was a fruit bat, just like you, but bigger. He flapped his wings just hard enough to get him onto the table as he landed with an audible thud. It was pretty much impossible for bats to take flight without launching from a tree or a high-up place.

[Woah! You’re a bat too? That’s awesome! Is that why students call you a “dungeon bat?”]

[Yes, I am an animagus whose form is also a bat, and no, that’s just a coincidence.]

[How come you’re so much bigger than me?]

[You don’t exactly tower over me, Y/N.]

From then on, the two of you would sometimes go on day flights if both of you had some free time. While both of you wished to fly at nights, you still needed time to sleep and perform your teaching duties during the day. However, your favorite times were when the both of you were scheduled to do rounds. Your classrooms were on opposite sides of the castle so it was almost like a game to use echolocation to find each other in the dark and meet up. It was a little fun considering the dungeons were almost maze-like. If the two of you were sure that no students were out and about, you’d ditch your duties, ascend up the Astronomy tower, and take off into the night sky, playfully chasing one another or showing off flying moves. 

Severus hardly used his form unless it was necessary. It’s not like one got to choose which animal they could shift into. Admittedly, he was a bit let down when he first shifted all those years ago, but with you he learned to embrace his batiness, though he still resisted such urges when it came to eating a castle’s worth of fruit. He liked flying, of course, but he found that he quite liked hanging upside down too, especially when he needed a break from grading or just wanted a change of scenery. Sometimes he’d come hang around your office when you were grading and vice versa.

Dumbledore came to visit his classroom one late afternoon to talk about a particularly unruly Slytherin, but could not find the potion master anywhere, not even in his office. It was rather dark, all the lamps extinguished and curtains drawn. What he did notice, however, was two wands haphazardly tossed onto the stone ground near Snape’s desk, one of which he recognized as your wand. Dumbledore craned his neck up towards the ceiling where an old chandelier hung and sure enough, hanging from one of the rungs was a large fruit bat, and swaddled in its wings being held close to its fur, a smaller fruit bat. The both of you were napping. The old wizard smiled at the sight and slowly receded back through the doorway, happy that Severus had finally found a little bat of his own.

Trender: What’s a seahorses best sense?

No one: …

Trender: It’s their sight. Because they are a see-horse. They see.

Everyone else at the meeting table:

Slender: Why the hell are you here? What do you even do?

Trender: I bless you all with my presence, so don’t sass me, fuckhead.

I see! I'm not a stranger to hip pain though, because my human form does have hip dysplasia, and unfortunately it's really prone to either inflammation (which also means it'll fill up with water) or it jumps out of socket/dislocates, and that really unpleasant! 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍👀💯😅😳🥲🥹🥺😭🤬👉🏻👈🏻

Hey, regarding your hip, could it be that you have hip dysplasia by any chance? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍👀💯✨👉🏻👈🏻

Hello darling,

I think the problem is simply that I am becoming sort of an Old Fogey, my dear. ;-)