You're not enjoying being alive very much, do you? π·οΈβ€οΈπ₯°ππππ³π₯Ήπ₯ΊβΊοΈπππππ»ππ»
Hello again, Mycroft! How's life? π·οΈπ₯°ππβ€οΈβΊοΈπππππ₯Ί
How do the slender brothers flirt/inpress someone
Slender: heβs not doing that unless you explicitly tell him how you want him to. Heβll die of shame if he tries anything else, no matter how successful he is.
Offender: hey bby you look hot af lemme get your number
Splendor probably just makes a lot of compliments!! He may try to show off how good he is with kids and be allΒ β"hey, wouldnβt it be nice if we raised kids together!?β but thatβs the most nsfvv itβs gonna get
Trender:Β β"Oh, my, your clothingβ¦ it appears to be tornβ¦ and the stitchesβ¦ theyβre about to come outβ¦, take your clothes off so i can fix them for youβ¦β¦β¦β¦. besides you look better nude.β
Hey! I'm innocelt in this! π·οΈβ€οΈππ₯°πβΊοΈπππππ π₯Ήπ₯Ίππ³ππππ»ππ»
π
.....Ah, it's a "sip of the ol' 50 year whisky day".
Do you have any headcannons for slender?
Sure do~
Slenderman Headcanons:Β
He should be considered a mafia boss with the number of people working for him.
But he's more accurately like a father with a bunch of children he hires to do work.
He's in charge of the entirety of the manor. What jobs are coming in, who does them, financial stability, electricity, water, medical needs, house repairs, etc.
In the Underworld, the mansion would be considered a business, and Slenderman is the CEO of said business. He recruits all of the residents in the mansion and they then form a sort of contract with him. This gives them immortality for the duration of the contract, grants them disguises when in the human world for reasons other than work, and it grants them room and board at the mansion.
He can project his voice outside normally, although if he needs to have a private conversation with someone he can do it inside their mind. He tries not to do this too often as he views it as an invasion of privacy.
He tries to maintain a personal level with all the residents of the mansion to make sure relationships amongst them are going well and nobody is getting too depressed, too dangerous, too angry. He likes to look out for them.
He thoroughly enjoys reading as his favorite hobby. In the mansion he has a huge library in the center of it that's several stories and has just about every book you can think of. He collects medical ones sometimes for EJ, some manga for BEN, or some YA novels for the younger creeps. One time Jane and Natalie got him into a few different YA romance novels and even though it wasn't his normal taste he got pretty into them and they talked about them over tea. This sparked a weekly book club that any of the residents can partake in.
He's also quite fond of poetry, and he even writes his own. He has that stored in the library as well although it's in a hidden section only a few people can access.
King of the kitchen. He can make just about any dish you could think to want. Being alive for so long grants you lots of time to experiment and try different foods.Β
Loves gardening and has a huge garden that circles the entirety of the mansion. He takes an extreme amount of pride in it and thinks any residence isn't complete without some flowers. He is very protective of it and only allows a select few to manage it, Toby is one of them as it puts him to work and he too values flowers and nature.
BURNED!!! π·οΈβ€οΈπ₯°πππ―πβ¨ππβΊοΈππ€£π€€π₯³ππ»ππ»
How much money would it cost me for you to give me a strip tease show?
Obviously, more than what your dignity is worth.
The amount being "Absolutely-Not-Ever" with a generous side of "Mocking-Sarcasm".
AGREED!! π·οΈβ€οΈππ₯°ππ―ππ€£π€πβΊοΈπ³πππππ»ππ»
thoughts on will wood? :3
smash
Yay! So were you able to help that anon with his cut off dong, @consult-johnhwatson? Or is that thing free to use as food? Never tried human dick before... π·οΈβ€οΈππ₯°ππ€ππ€£πβΊοΈπ³πππ₯³πππ»ππ»
I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?
Uh, cauterize it?
I would never eat you though, @consult-sherlockholmes! You're practically just skin and bones! π·οΈβ€οΈππ₯°πππ€πβΊοΈπ³πππ₯³π€£ππππ₯Ίπ―πππ»ππ»
I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?
Uh, cauterize it?
This fic was written based on this amazing piece of art.Β Thank you for allowing me to write about your artwork @zombiebooty
This forest had a history. An old, evil history and it clung to the trees like moss. The moment you crossed the treeline, you felt it settle on your skin like a cold blanket.
This was stupid. Reckless. Mad.
But you wanted to prove everyone wrong. The creature in these woods may be something evil, but surely it wanted more than death and chaos. You followed the path that winded through the trees. The light from your torch gave little guidance. It was like the forest was consuming the brightness from your torch. Continuing you down, you finally came across a page. The sketch was just like you saw in the history books, the websites too. They always warned people not to take them down. And those that did, usually ended up joining the memorial by the forest entrance. You reached out and, instead of ripping it from the tree, you merely stroked the page. Careful of the fragile paper, damaged by the wind and recent rain.
Weiterlesen
Isn't entomomania the obsession with insects? Also, can I have some of the cake too? That looks so good! π·οΈβ€οΈπππ₯°ππ βΊοΈπππ₯Ήπ₯Ίπ€€π₯³π―ππ»ππ»
Hi there, Mr. Holmes! What are your thoughts about arachnophilia and entomomania? *Leaves big chocolate cake for you*
Arachnophilia and entomomania? How thoroughly... intriguing. The love of spiders and the fear of insects. I suppose everyone needs a lexicon hobby.
Without proper context, I'm afraid I don't have any interesting thoughts on them.
As for the cake, your offering is duly noted. I trust it is dark chocolate?
(Separate) SlenderMan, and Zalgo as husbands? I love these two more than any Creepypasta guys XD
The second part will be released later on, though beware, in practice both Slender and Zalgo are pretty much opposites as husbands.
Note: One's relation to Slender and the label he assigns you will affect how he treats you and is towards you. Being his spouse puts you at the top of his world, though the label of lover, pet, and toy also exist.
Marriage is typically not an idea people consider when referring to the creature. Nor is dating. Despite that, you have somehow managed both, which is telling of a lot of things.
Firstly, you must be incredibly important and precious for this monster for him to both view you as his, and him as yours. Slender considers marriage to only be an act that can be done by equals. Of course, this does not mean you two hold the same strength, nor that you must be an inhuman entity just like him. Instead in his mind, you are a person who he will treat with respect. You are different but equal.
You are not a pet. You are not one of his underlings nor are you, his enemy. You are his one and only lover, the one he plans to treasure for life.
This means and has a lot of implications for your safety and his level of care.
Slenderman is a powerful entity, whose enemies stand little chance of hurting. You on the other hand are deeply meaningful to him, and so much easier to hurt, meaning that in a sense as his lover, and now spouse you have been walking around with a target on your back.
Worry not, for your husband wonβt let any harm come your way. He will make sure you are well protected, aware of the situation, and that you have all that you may need.
This of course does not mean that you will lose your freedom or be limited in any way. You can go be and live how you want to, just with security at hand which I am sure you will agree to. It may not be the most comfortable way to go around town, however, Slender will go at length to you about the dangers of being with him poses. You will be made aware of the risk as soon as you two become lovers, way before marriage. If you are married to him, you have already agreed to do what it takes to keep you safe.
Otherwise, he would have had to let his sunshine go.
As both a husband and a lover Slender will ensure to devote proper time to you. He has his work and responsibilities that he cannot abandon, though certain less-important duties can be handed over to his trusted right-hand man.
Nevertheless, he wonβt be with you all the time. He still has a lot of work to handle. However, he will pull through to be there for you when needed. Panicking? Scared? Unable to get out of bed? Your monstrous Husband will be there at your side, helping make you feel better and more comfortable.
Quality time spent together, and telekinesis of adoration are his main love languages.
He as a husband will take his position very seriously. He always does. Jokes and giggles have never been his cup of tea. As a husband, he will not only treat you well, respect you, protect you, and love you but he will also want you to have the word at your feet in any way you desire. Having his lover feel and being at their best makes him want to melt.
Look at you, that bright smile, that cleaver mind, and all that potential are constantly on his mind. How you managed to make him, an otherworldly being make him such a significant part of his life does make him wonder.
Just a friendly theraphosa stirmi that is capable of talking, spelling (typing) and shipping ships!
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