BURNED!!! π·οΈβ€οΈπ₯°πππ―πβ¨ππβΊοΈππ€£π€€π₯³ππ»ππ»
How much money would it cost me for you to give me a strip tease show?
Obviously, more than what your dignity is worth.
The amount being "Absolutely-Not-Ever" with a generous side of "Mocking-Sarcasm".
Mind it I'll also have a swig of that? π·οΈβ€οΈπππ₯°πππππ€€βΊοΈπ―ππ»ππ»
Speaking of whiskey...
...You still have the one I imported?
Not your division, I guess? And you know me! I know bugs well! π·οΈβ€οΈπ₯°πππ―πβ¨π₯Ίπ₯Ήπ₯²π³π βΊοΈπππππ»ππ»
Hey Greg! Did you know that big dragonflies can speed up to 130 miles per hour??? Cheetah's can also speed up to 130 miles per hour, but only for about 20 seconds, so a big dragonfly can easily beat a cheetah in a race!
Dragonflies can also make it from Lybia to Iceland in only four days flat! Awesome, isn't it?! π·οΈβ€οΈπ₯°ππβΊοΈππππ₯³ππ―ππ»ππ»
Is this true? I don't know any bugs to confirm these facts with. Feel like I'd need a detective for this. Or someone who really knew bugs. Wonder if I know anyone like that...
She is a gorgeous spider! β€οΈ
Heather is a 1-2 year old, confirmed female, captive bred, juvenile Arizona Blonde Tarantula (aphonopelma chalcodes) that I picked up at an exotics expo on January 28th, 2024.
She is named for the movie Heathers! <3
She has a very gentle and docile temperament π€
Damn right, they do! π·οΈβ€οΈππ₯°πβ¨π―ππ€£π€€πππ€πππβΊοΈππππ»ππ»
The best booty calls have 8 legs.
I'll take that as a yes! π·οΈβ€οΈππ₯°πππβΊοΈπππ€€πππ€ππ―πππ»ππ»
merry crimemas, what crime are you planning on committing?
sodomy
Slenderman Headcanons?
- He has 2 sides.
- The side that is maternal and wishes for kin
- And the fighting secluded side we all see
- He can be exceedingly kind to some. Almost acting as a rearing figure.
- Will let the exceedingly rare few he actually enjoys the company of, lean against him to rest.
- Sometimes he wishes to be a father of sorts. But knows that would not be smart. So he finds solace in βraisingβ his boys.
- Teach then to be smart. Teach them to be strong. Teach them to love these woods.
- Very protective of what he calls his own.
- Does not talk how you would think. You can hear and talk to him yes. But itβs telepathic. He can choose wether or not the rest of the room can hear him or just one person
- He can contact his proxies at any time, anywhere through their minds. He can make them see things.
- Enjoys staying in his office to rummage through old documents from the before times, and to walk through his woods. He likes it there.
- He enjoys poetry. Do not tell. Is secret.
- Very mature humor
- Does not laugh at dirty jokes
- Respect both genders.
- Respect HIM
- Would prefer no one to have premarital sex in his household.
- Cannot cook well. Can cook to provide Necessary nutrients though.
- knows how to stitch up a wound like itβs no ones business
when you reopen asks can you do the ages of the slenderbrothers pls :D
Stuff like this I donβt consider requests cause they only take like, less than five minutes to do xd
Slender-Β
The oldest of the brothers was born in the late 1700s, and Iβd say heβs around 239 years young.
Offender-Β
The second eldest was born in the early 1800s, and stands around 189 years old.
Trender-
Trender was born in the mid 1800s, so heβs around 172 years old.
Splendor-
The youngest, He was born around 1890, so heβs only around 130 years old.
I mean between character and reader. It works by people describing themselves to you as detailed as possible and you tell them what character would fit them as a partner and why.
And if you want to go the extra mile, you can even add a (smaller) fanfic. But so far I've never seen anyone do that.
Do you also do match ups or only fanfics?
Do you mean match ups between readers and characters or two characters? Either way, I'll admit I'm not familiar with this, but why not!
*suddenly wonders if they know enough characters to do that and keep it varied*
I'm here! Fashionably late, but present! π·οΈβ€οΈπππ₯°π₯Ήπ₯Ίπ€£ππ ππ₯³πππ³ππππ»ππ»
14 tell me 14
14: Do you miss someone?
It's usually the other way around.
S-...so splendor has a praise kink right? So do you think his other brothers would have fav kinks & maybe a fav s3x position(s) to?π³
ππ¨
Of course they do! Putting this one under a cut.
C.W. Descriptions of sex. Minors DNI
Note: I also recommend reading the post: Slenderman Headcanon: LovemakingΒ
Slender lovesΒ using his tendrils during sex. While you can expect gentle exploration, teasing and even some penetration with his tendrils, his favorite use for them is for bondage purposes. Nothing too crazy, but he especially likes holding his partners up with his tendrils as well as using the extra appendages to bind their hands or stuff their mouths.Β Β
I donβt think Slender is aware of it himself but he has a thing for having sex while standing. Standing over someone as he rails them just does it for him and gives him a comforting sense of control. He can do theΒ βhorizontal tangoβ but only with someone he trusts and when heβs feeling particularly intimate.Β Β
Small amounts of pain during sex is also something he enjoys. Small nicks and scrapes from sharper teeth get him worked up and if he hasnβt bound your hands and trusts you enough then the feeling of claws scraping against his skin is lovely.Β
Are you really going to do this to him? Make him pick a favorite kink and sex position? Itβs like asking a parent their favorite child or a drowning man his favorite flavor of air.Β
All sex is good sex.
Well, all sex is good sex so long as youβre not pounding him in the ass. Heβs tried it (a lot) and unfortunately it just doesnβt do it for him.Β
He wants to be all up in your business. No matter if heβs topping or bottoming, he wants to be in a position where he can feel as much of his partner as possible.Β
Whether this means chest-to-chest, chest-to-back or anything else, he wants to be absolutely crushed against his partner.Β Β
He wants to be doted on in his sexual encounters and this includes receiving extensive foreplay. Heβs still very touchy during foreplay, whether itβs wrapping his legs or arms around his partner or just placing his hands on them.Β
He also loves inflicting pain during sex. Heβs mindful not to do anything that could cause permanent damage or put off his partners too much, so often itβs just scraping his claws down their back or grazing their skin with his teeth. However, if given the chance he would do a lot more.Β
As previously stated he has a praise kink.Β
He doesnβt have much experience with sex so I doubt even he knows his favorite positions but heβs definitely open to experimenting. He gets a lot of sexual enjoyment from pleasing his partner so I could imagine that his favorite position changes depending on the partner heβs with.Β Β
___________________________________________
Thanks so much for the ask!
Just a friendly theraphosa stirmi that is capable of talking, spelling (typing) and shipping ships!
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