A Kid At Work Has Decided That They Don’t Want To Play With The Kitchen Set, And Don’t Want To Play

I have an important story

I was walking out of the gym on campus and over to my bike to unlock it, and looked up just in time to see a goose attack a woman as she walked past. I’m talking grabbing at her jacket, flapping its wings, biting and honking. I’m no stranger to our aggressive campus geese but hot diggity damn. Then. Then the goose turned and looked at me and let out a horrifying honk and suddenly, it was like bullet time, suddenly this massive goose was flying towards me.

So I squared up.

I tried to protect my expensive headphones.

And I braced for Goose.

When that thing flew at me I kicked higher and harder than I ever have and landed a solid blow to its huge, boat like body. It was so much harder and heavier than I expected. No one expects to kick a goose. It let out this awful squeaky toy noise, tried to grab at my hat, and then flew up and landed on the roof of the gym, watching me. I couldn’t turn my back for fear it would attack.

The worst part? There was no one around. No one saw me kick this deranged goose.

For five minutes I stood there, terrified of this goose.

And then people started walking out of the gym.

“I saw you kick that goose.”

“Man, that was a mean goose.”

“Nice kick on the goose.”

Eventually it took off and I was able to resume my day but not after solidifying my identity as The One Who Kicked The Goose.

My dog Chica had a nightmare last night. She doesn’t have them very often but when she does she’ll let out this adorable little howl that startles herself awake. She was a little shaken up about it but after a few snuggles in the hooman bed (usually off limits for doggos) she was happy as can be. After a while she hopped down to her own bed and drifted off into a peaceful pupper snooze. And I thought that was the end of it.

But I had a nightmare too. Now that’s not entirely uncommon, I have them fairly often and they’re something that I’ve gotten used to. But this one was a bad one.

The bad ones are the ones that I don’t wake up from. They’re the ones where my friends or loved ones are hurt in front of me and the only thing I can do is watch and cry and scream in the mad hope that it’s all just some terrible dream. Nothing ever happens to me in these dreams so I’m trapped within until I wake up of my own accord. But tonight was different.

Tonight, I felt something lick my hand and woke up in a cold sweat. There on the side of my bed was Chica, licking my hand and looking up at me with concern. Now I’m not sure how much a dog understands about nightmares and dreams and such, but she’s never woken me up from a nightmare before. I’d like to think that some part of her recognized what I was going through and she just wanted to wake me up to protect me from the scary monsters. I have never been more grateful to have Chica by my side than in that moment.

So I let her hop up on the hooman bed (twice in one night, oh boy!) and after a few snuggles I was happy as can be.

i do not understand the big obsession with pop punk 

A smelly smell

The REAL fight of the century via /r/wholesomememes http://ift.tt/2xH0lNw

Knock knock

who the fuck is it 

Figure Skating...

…So the Olympics this year really hyped me up for Figure Skating, it was intense and fun to watch. I really want to start watching the competitions regularly!!! Can someone tell me where I can watch it? Best would be an online stream (maybe also in German), I don’t mind it in English :)