Where are all my adult anas?
It's a different world stepping into Eds shoes again half way through life.
I don't have to worry about my parents getting mad at me
I don't have to worry about my school teachers getting mad at me
I don't have the typical teenage drama that spurred this mentality shift
I remember Ed being a call a shout for help just to be seen and cared for as a teenager. But now no one sees me, I have no watchful eyes on me. No one whispering under their breath, no parents staring at me across the dinner table as I play with a half eaten plate, no boy trouble or pubescent drama fueled by hormonal rage and indifference. I'm not doing this to impress the boy I like or try to fit in with the popular kids.
I am invisible
Except from myself.
I'm in a strange state of visible translucency. I tell people I'm fasting and they believe me, I tell people I'm too tired to come meet them for dinner they believe me.
Fuck, even my live out partner whose been here for the last 3 days who I have said the words 4norexi4 to and who has watched me consume nothing but tea for 3 days doesn't question my choices.
How different a world it is when you're seen but not seen. I am validated but I remain a shadow.
when im hungry i open tumblr . that’s it
I think i pulled a hamstring doing yoga this morning. fuck. I have to lose progress or push through adn hope it doesnt get worse.
shoutout to the men with 3ds
shoutout to the trans people with 3ds
shoutout to the overweight people with 3ds
shoutout to the adults with 3ds
shoutout to the people with 3ds that aren’t 4n4 or m1a
shoutout to the people with 3ds that have never been hospitalized
shoutout to the people with 3ds that nobody knows about
shoutout to everyone with 3ds. you are so so strong, and I see you.
Whatever upcoming meal you have counted out and planned….. only have half.
You’ll thank yourself when you’re skinny.
Shadow Areas
What do I resist?
What do I judge?
What feels uncomfortable?
What do I hide?
Paradox Points
Where do I feel torn?
What contradictions exist?
Where is both/and needed?
What transcends either/or?
Growth Edges
Where is tension productive?
What challenges me to grow?
Where is balance difficult?
What integration feels edgy?
Track your integration journey through shadow, paradox, and edge.
Tree roots following the pattern of concrete footpaths
Blessed Imbolc in the Northern Hemisphere. 💐 What are you doing to celebrate?
And remember that it's entirely valid not to have the energy or time to celebrate. 💖
Train your mind!
✨️🫙✨️Spells✨️🫙✨️