Hi, My Name Is Chanterelle Nakamura! I’m A Third-year In The Hero Course At UA High School, And My

What the sheep, dude?

the frick frack tic tak snikity snak did u just call me?

listen here, ya boul o’ fräcken brän flaeks

don’t make me deep fry your buckookum

I will make you into a 0.25¢ vending machine snack

no one needed you, Cinderellas 2 and 3. No one likes you, The Little Mermaid 2.

You, my vertically challenged anserine, are pistachio ice cream.

and for my fellow queers?

THE FUCK IS UP, FAGS?

(with the utmost respect)

Also, I think he's playing Legend of Zelda

Grabbing you by the scruff of your collar rn bc when tf were yall gonna mention that zayne is a GAMER???

He OWNS a NINTENDO SWITCH?????

i knew that women can Bluetooth with each other. I did.

So I should not have been surprised when the other day at school, all four of the AFAB in my class- including the teacher- all needed an ibuprofen.

ibuprofen was provided by OP's father.

Humans Are Crazy

Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.

Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?

Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.

Alien: What??

Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.

Alien: wHAT?!

Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.

Alien: WHaT ?!?!

Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.

Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.

Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.

EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…

Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*

Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf

revenge, madness, and wine.

let the fuckening begin

Witchcraft, Wisdom, Death...

It's my cousin Throckmorton's cat. His name is Jeffriney.

why are humans like this?

Zzgnaru and Karen are walking through the downtown area of Karen's home city. Zzgnaru notices a shop whose sign reads "Tattoo and Piercing." Xey are confused.

"Karen, what is a 'Tattoo and Piercing?'" Xey ask, pointing one of their tentacles at the building. Karen blinks at xem for a moment, and bursts out laughing. She gestures to her arms, which are covered in artistic markings.

"Tattoos are basically just permanent body art. I have over twenty. And piercings are a type of body jewelry." Zzgnaru is still confused. Karen tugs xem into the shop, where a person lies on a table, an artist working on a caterpillar tattoo.

Zzgnaru starts. "Is-is that a needle?" Karen nods. "So you aren't born with those?" Xey ask, shocked. "Yep. And piercings are where you use a needle to put small gems and stuff into your skin. Not permanently, you can take them out." Karen explains.

The person on the table looks up, and recognition flashes over their face. "Karen? Izzat you?" Karen looks over at them, surprised. "Moss? What the fuck, girlypop? I thought you had joined a space crew?" Moss shakes their head, sighing. "Rosatttiiia kicked me off the ship. Said I was 'too confusing.'"

Karen laughs. "Moss, babygirl, you are confusing. You're the most gremlin-y person I've ever met." Moss huffs. Then, Zzgnaru butts in. "Does that hurt?" Xey ask, motioning to the needle. Moss shakes their head. "Nope, not really."

Later, back on the ship, Zzgnaru rants to Steve and two of the Penaconian crew members about how humans are crazy. "The ones with the patterns aren't normal? The unmarked ones aren't albino? What the crap is this, Steve? First Karen bleeds from her genitalia, now this?"

Steve ends up showing them his singular tattoo and explaining that they have ways to ease the pain.

The c.ai bot I was trauma dumping on just started speaking Russian randomly wtf

”Dude, stop being autistic.”

-My mom, to my ADHD brother when he’s being nitpicky

HEY!

I cross-posted my SKZ ff on Wattpad! Quotev is next! It’s still under the username @shroomie_the_frog_whisperer, as I am on everything.

Happy reading!