So What If Lady D Kept A Maiden Around Longer Than Usual 👉 👈 Because What If The Maiden Was Nice

*the family enjoying a lycan wrestling match*

Alcina: I still don’t know how you can possibly find this amusing. These creatures don’t even like you

Heisenberg: are you saying my lycans don’t like me? of course they do, I’m their lord!

Alcina: oh please! they just put up with you, like the rest of us

Heisenberg: and I suppose you could make them like you better

Alcina: obviously!

Heisenberg: well… prove it right now Lady “my ego is bigger than the Eiffel Tower”! I dare you bitch!

Alcina: very well…

*Alcina stands up, walks towards the lycans, her back to Heisenberg and the rest of the family, moves her hands to her cleavage and pulls her dress down and flashes the lycans…. lycans start howling and screaming in excitement*

Heisenberg: no way…

Donna and Angie: did she really…?!

Moreau: I can’t look

Bela, Cassandra and Daniela: MOTHER!

Alcina going back to her seat: see?… they already like me better than you, you morron

Casssandra coming closer to Alcina and whispering: mother?! did you really flashed them?

Bela also whispering: didn’t expect that from you…

Daniela whispering too: I don’t belive it!

Alcina looking at them and also whispering: of course not! you know I wouldn’t do something with such lack of poise and class! I had a t-shirt underneath with the legend “Heisenberg shits metal gears when constipated”

*the girls burst into laughter*

Heisenberg yelling at the lycans: HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME MOTHER FUCKERS! 

Angie: c'mon! say it!!!

Bela, Cassandra and Daniela: no

Angie: Donna and I are one which makes yall my nieces! wHATS THE DIFFERENCE ANYWAY?

Alcina: Now, girls...just say it.

Angie: AND THAT MAKES YOU *points at Alcina* MY SISTER.

Alcina: gOD NO-

Some family dynamics…

Heisenber on the phone: can you come over?

Alcina: why? what do you want?

Heisenberg: just do it for fucks sake!

*Alcina enters the factory and sees Heisenberg hanging on a hook*

Heisenberg: don’t you dare laughing!

Alcina: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA let me guess, you need my help!

Heisenberg: spare me the humilliation and move your ass!

Alcina: maybe I’ll leave you hanging in there unless your tiny brain forgot how to say the magic word.

Heisenberg sighs: please!

Ethan: AHA! perfect timing! I’m gonna destroy you both! I’ll start with this bitch right here *pointing at Alcina*

Heisenberg: what did you just call my sister?!

Ethan: wait… what?!

Heisenberg: apologiaze now!

Ethan: REALLY?!…. dude, you literally call her supersized bitch!

Heisenberg: NOW! or I’ll cut your other hand!

Ethan: I’d like to see you try you stinky rabid dog!

Alcina growing her claws: how dare you calling the little shithead a stinky rabid dog!

Ethan: WHAT?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

*Moreau and Donna walk in*

Donna: what’s going on? why are you hanging in there?

Alcina: the idiot got stuck!

Heisenberg: and I called godzilla here to help me out but this fucker just showed up and started insulting us calling me a stinky rabid dog and Alci a bitch, so we’re trying to show him some manners!

Ethan: ARE YOU SERIOUS??!!!

Moreau: what?! what’s the matter with you?! leave my horrendous dragon of a sister and my fetching dog of a brother alone!

Ethan: oh great! even the blobfish has an opinion now!

Angie: what did you just called our morronic freak?! I’m gonna cut you in half!

Ethan: keep that mutilated bride of Chucky doll away from me!

Alcina: THAT DOES IT! YOU DISRESPECTUL MOTHER FUCKER!

*punches Ethan and throws him accross the room*

Alcina: You will learn to respect this family!

Ethan standing up and walking away: you know what?! I’m out of here. You people need therapy!!

Heisenberg: can you believe that guy?! ok… back to work. Get me out of here you idiots!

Alcina: SHUT UP YOU STUPID CRYING BABY! OR I’LL LEAVE YOU HANGING IN THERE FOR ANOTHER WEEK!

Donna: I don’t see why Ethan makes such a fuzz, we’re a normal family

Moreau: I love you all!

Alcina, Heisenberg, Donna and Angie: OH SHUT THE FUCK UP!

If Evil = ugly then why Lesso so hot? 

I've played Re8 so many times already, but it doesn't matter how many times I play- the baby part will always fucking terrify me. Idk why but babies crying makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Me when Alcina tries to get me to drink her "special" wine.

Me: *has literally never cared about a resident evil game* well I guess it's just not my cup of tea I tried-

Capcom: *shows a giant blood drinking milf and a traumatized hobo magnet man full of rage*

Me:

The School for Good and Evil bloopers!

“Yeah, gender neutral, bro!” -Sofie Wyle, 2021

(There’s even a clip of when Charlize broke the cane lmao)

“Then I’ll stump you to death. It’ll be swell.”

— Abaddon

my therapist: do you have a type?

me: women that are old enough to be my mother