The man at ten in the morning gave me a wary look as he accepted the package of sandwich bread, his payment left at the edge of the counter in exact change.
My favorite regular came in a quarter to eleven. She doesn't speak a lick of English but always bows to me at the door before letting it swing closed again.
Sometimes I can tell a spirit has taken a swipe at someone or said something inappropriate by their flinch or a flush to the face.
On rare occasion, those comments spark a full on fight like I was the one who gave them a lewd comment or an insult to their honor.
Everyone reacts differently to my collection. While it can be an inconvenience at times, I bake the best bread in the city so they have to come to me for something or another.
It doesn't get to me much though. My regulars know what's up, and those here for a sample either become regulars or are never seen here again.
Sometimes I think about hitting up the local priest to really give the spirits in my wake a piece of my mind. Ultimately it wouldn't change anything, though, and I've gotten used to the scared and disdainful reactions by now anyway.
The real treat comes when a "hero" comes by for a baguette or some brioche. The good ones give me a knowing smile and often tip well. The "targets" often buy what they came for civilly, but I've gotten good at reading the telltale signs of their nervousness.
The good ones are rare. The good ones are often labeled at vigilantes.
Right before close, Earth Man came in. I thanked him for his wonderful work saving the forest west of the city from those "foul" Kiowa Krusaders. He left sweating bullets.
I expect to serve a lot of humble pie tonight and have a new greeter in my entourage by morning.
For some context, the thought that came to me from this prompt that inspired this story was: Something about "hero" being a status generated by public perception but they were actually all evil
It is known that the ghosts of fallen heroes haunt their killers and cannot move on until the killer is brought to justice. But nobody is willing to ask the baker why so many ghosts are following them around.
"John?"
"Steve?"
"I like the ears."
"I like the eyes."
"See you at practice. We never saw each other."
"Agreed."
Write a piece about two people who know each other from one social circle encountering each other in an unexpected place related to another
"So then why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm trying my best."
Am I the only one that will reflexively type "suite" instead of "sweet" when saying something like "That sounds sweet, dude!"?
"So, how's the wife?"
"Ah yes, the old ball and chain."
"That's a little rude, don't you think?"
I pull out a wedding photo from my wallet and you see me at the altar across from a chain chomp with a pink bow.
Had a dream where I couldn't touch anything striped for a day or I'd die or something. Somewhere along the line I witnessed Pooh and Piglet and later Tigger. Pooh was shirtless, talking to Piglet on the dirt road who had no stripes, just the lines at the neck and leg and arm boundaries. Tigger was just orange with the normal tan maw. He seemed concerned.
*Achoo!* "Uri-" *choo!* "Uriel!" *Sniffle*
"Yes (Choo!) my Lord?" Uriel replied, appearing in a puff of smoke.
"Call off *Aaah-* that Me damned *CHOO!* storm at that *muffled sneeze* atheist convention!"
"Thy will (achoo) be done." Uriel bowed.
God sank into his celestial throne with a heavenly sigh of relief.
It is often said that uttering the Lord’s Name in vain is forbidden because it is blasphemy. No, the truth is far more mundane and hilarious than that: Every time His name is uttered in vain, the Lord sneezes.
"But you do lie."
"No I don't."
"I rest my case."
"What? But I don't lie!"
"You also didn't rest your case."
“The biggest difference between you and me is that you lie and I don’t.”
“I don’t lie.”
“I rest my case.”
Probably be around a while. Probably mostly do writing related stuff with some fantasy and sci-fi memeing here and there. It's been fun, getting back into writing.
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