““This Is Why You Don’t Do Drugs, Kids.””

anyone please ask your crush out like this

these are the best cookies ever until about 30 seconds after they come out of the oven...

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today on random thoughts at midnight we have me speculating how the universe was created

ok wait i just had this random thought but what if the big bang wasnt the start of everything? what if there was a huge intergalactic war that fucked everything up and we are the out come... what if its like if we had a nuclear war that wiped out people and earth's life had to restart but on a bigger level??? im probably not making any sense but whatever...

thank you!!

I NOW HAVE THE ULTIMATE FIDGET TOY

IT’S NOT A FIDGET CUBE OR BUBBLE WRAP

ITS A MECHANICAL KEYBOARD SWITCH TESTER

MWAHAHA MY ROOM WILL NEVER BE SILENT AGAIN

theres a kid at my school who looks like gerard way and it really freaks me out... he has his mask on most of the time (obviously) but whenever hes eating or whatever and i can see his face it kinda scares me... 

so i’ve been asking for band recs a lot recently because i havent updated my playlist in a while and lots of people have recommended waterparks and holy shit you guys. i fucking love them. i have no idea why i didnt listen to them sooner??? why didnt i think to listen to other peoples advice and hear the beauty that is aLL OF WATERPARKS MUSIC??? anyways. im going to totally overplay them and then regret it but for now i get to sing the wrong lyrics and fall in love with them. 

i love the whole vibe tho. im feeling early 2000s alt rock vibes. idk why... but i love the bass lines, the chord progressions, his fucking VOICE. im pretty sure awsten knight is the lead singer (i might be wrong but oh well). 

also my sister listens to I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don’t Wanna Die Anymore and im like ‘mooshie (the name that i call her) (@i-drink-glowstick-juice ) you gotta listen to all of their shit. its fucking awesome.’ and shes like ‘em. i don't feel like it.’

BUT ITS SO RAD AND SHE DOESNT REALIZE IT. 

anywhore. 

im probably obsessing over this way too much... but its not every day i find music i genuinely enjoy. 

there is no way in hell inigo montoya and fezzik from the princess bride weren't gay for eachother.

The moment when you get to the angsty part of a fic and it was just too angsty so you just had to stop, breathe and begin preparing

holy shit i just had this idea

ok ao yk in the purge where there is no safe ground whatsoever? what if a record store was? like just everybody who doesn't want to do anything too illegal can just go there and vibe.

If I were rich here’s what I’d do with my free time okay Mermaid pranks Let me explain. So, I’d get one of those super fancy mermaid tails, like those sick as hell silicone ones that has the super long thick tail that uses like, toe pullies and stuff to make the fins move in cool and impossible ways. like this

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And I would go all fucking out on this fit okay. We’re talking diving lessons until I can hold my breath for 7 minutes and go deep as fuck. Long hair, starfish, scales up to my tits, those funky contacts that make it so you can see under water, all of it- everything I could to make myself look as “thing of the deep but hot” as possible.  Then, I’d go get some shiny valuable rocks. Pearls, Uncut gems, like super fuck’n nice ones like diamonds and shit, and ofc some gold coins. Then I’d dawn my mermaid fit and hit public waterways. Rivers, beys, lakes, places where people are around and might be swimming, but where I’m not gonna die via boat propeller, and not super crowded areas where a lot of people are swimming.  Then I just prank people by poking my head out of the water and surprising them, then I motion them closer and reach into my hair or satchel or something and give them a fucking emerald, smiling all big the whole time then I just- swim the fuck away.  What the fuck they  gonna do now!? Keep it as a fun memory of that time a fuck’n mermaid larper gave them a shiny rock? Never know it’s actually valuable? Or do they take it to a jeweler and find out it’s real? How the fuck are they gonna explain that. They gonna tell the jeweler a fuck’n mermaid gave it to them?! I think the fuck not.  Gonna pop up at the peir and smile at people and give gold coins to whoever stops. Kids are gonna freak. Put a little wonder back in the world. Flirt with pretty girls. Swim down rivers, pop up and surprise some old lady sitting by the water and give her an uncut diamond then swim away without a word. 

Get a reputation as the weird lesbian mermaid who gives out precious gems and never speaks then suddenly stop without warning for like three years to give people time to forget me then do it all again.