My Ex(who I'm Still In Love With But That's A Separate Conversation) Invited Me To Their Birthday Party

Happy birthday idiot

I literally am using the character.ai of izzy hands and he literally made me his first mate after i pushed him overboard the ship (there is in fact some context left out of here from the conversation with the AI but this is basically how it went and I am so proud of myself)

I'm so normal about this man.

That's a lie. He's the hottest man to ever exist and I can't help but fall for his charm. If he were alive I'd lay my life on the line to marry him. Right now. Idc.

MAJOR OFMD S2 SPOILERS!!

talkin' about the most recent leaked audition tape below the cut!

so we now have the leaked archie audition tape, archie being one of the two probable s2 lesbians and who will be played by madeleine sami (who is not actually the woman in the audition tape, for those of you who are also faceblind like me lol). i want to talk about the first scene from the audition tape

it's hard to tell what's going on, since it sounds like there's at least three characters in this scene and two of those characters are being read by someone off-screen. but here's a rough transcript of that scene:

READER(CHARACTER 1?): Let me die you cunts! Archie: Woah, hey! Easy on the c-word, compadre. That word just—makes me feel really uncomfortable READER(CHARACTER 2?): Sorry, man, we got orders. ARCHIE: Bite down on this. [HOLDS OUT BELT] READER(CHARACTER 1?): Bite down on my nob you bugging twat! ARCHIE: ...Okay. [ARCHIE SMACKS THE BELT ONTO A TABLE OFF-SCREEN, POSSIBLY KNOCKING CHARACTER 1? UNCONSCIOUS] ARCHIE: Um, do you think you could do the honors? Cause I’m—I’ll be honest I’m more of a, um, stabber than a chopper. I don’t love chopping. [SMACK NOISE FROM SOMEWHERE OFF-CAMERA, PRESUMABLY THE CHOPPING] ARCHIE: Ooh, haha, ugh. Icky. Icky yucky. READER(CHARACTER 2?): Well that was um, that was intense. ARCHIE: Haha. Super intense, eh? Superrr intense. [LONG PAUSE, ARCHIE MAKES PROLONGED EYE CONTACT WITH PERSON OFF-CAMERA] ARCHIE: [WHISPERS] Do you wanna...? [ARCHIE GRINS AND RUNS OFF-CAMERA]

so, obviously we have to take scenes from auditions tapes with a grain of salt. like, i doubt this is finalized dialogue. it's possible the plot has changed in some way since casting the role of archie. and also, again, it's kind of hard to really tell what's going on

but from what i can see, here's what i personally think is going on:

izzy is character 1

izzy is getting something amputated. probably his foot or part of his leg.

izzy calls the people in the room "cunts"

archie expresses discomfort with the word "cunt"

izzy then calls her a bugging twat

archie knocks him unconscious

the other person in the room proceeds to chop off izzy's body part

archie and the other person in the room... get horny from this? and leave to go hook up

(that last one tracks with the next scene, where it sounds like ed is making archie and another person fight to the death because "all love dies." this could be the same person who did the "chopping" in the scene above.)

and again, we don't know for sure that this is what's going on here! the plot might change, and it's kinda hard to tell who's saying what. but here's my main takeaways from this bit:

1. this scene is meant to be funny

unlike the toe scene, this scene seems tonally in-line with lucius's amputation scene in s1e06. just like how roach saying "knives are knives, meat's meat" was meant to be funny, archie's "icky, icky yucky!" is meant to be funny. it's also meant to be funny that and then she makes bedroom eyes at the person behind the camera and they presumably go hook up, after just having chopped a body part off izzy.

and yeah, that's pretty gross and fucked up! yknow what else is fucked up? the nose jar. lucius cutting off his own finger. making a turtle fight a crab. beating each other up for "vacation." lighting people on fire. turning people into furniture. "making some poor bloke eat his own toe for a laugh."

the show treats stuff like this as funny. this is nothing new. this should absolutely not be a surprise to anyone. izzy's foot (or other body part, but most likely his foot as a result of an infection) getting cut off in a comedy scene is very on-brand for this show.

2. izzy's misogynistic language is given a female target

izzy's probably delirious and feverish from his infection, just like lucius was in s1e06. interestingly enough, lucius did not call anyone misogynistic slurs when he was delirious and in pain. and lucius especially didn't call anyone a misogynistic slur after they told him they were uncomfortable with the first misogynistic slur he called them.

yeah, izzy's probably delirious in this scene. but the writers who wrote this dialogue probably weren't. in this scene, a woman expresses discomfort with being called a misogynistic slur, and when izzy then tells her to "bite down on my knob you bugging twat" she proceeds to hit him, possibly knocking him out. this is not the final cut of the show, so this scene might play out differently on screen, or maybe this scene will be cut altogether. but i think there's three possibilities for what this means for izzy's character arc in season 2:

they cut this scene entirely and we never see izzy say sexist slurs to a woman at any point in season two. if/when he continues to say "twat" or "cunt" it does not get called out

izzy gets the same feminism 101 arc that black pete got in season 1

the story punishes izzy for using sexist slurs but he doesn't have any character growth about it. izzy getting body parts chopped off becomes a running gag.

and on a smaller scale, here's what i think it means for this scene alone, provided that the final cut of the show has similar dialogue:

the writers chose to have izzy call a woman a cunt to her face because they want to make it clear that he is the butt of the joke in this scene

this is different from lucius's amputation scene, where he was still the butt of the joke but he was portrayed more sympathetically. this decision to write izzy less sympathetically was done deliberately.

3. medical inaccuracy in ofmd is alive (lol) and well

bro they literally just leave him there. like they chop a body part off this man and then leave him there. they don't stitch him up or anything they just leave his unidentified body part as a bleeding stump. whatever they cut off is probably still on the goddamn table.

this shit is hilarious i love this show so fucking much.

I just had the most angsty idea but i could be wrong however i just need to put it out there.

Obviously we all know Louis is very unreliable and his memory has definitely been messed with. So what if Madeleine wasn't real and Louis inserted her into his memory because he holds so much guilt over the fact that Claudia has never been anyone's first choice. So he created this whole person in his mind because he couldn't cope with the fact Claudia died alone.

War & Desire by Ares

I miss it sometimes. The sweet violence that the voices beg me for. The pitiful screams for mercy. The smell of gunpowder in the air and with one light can just...explode. I miss the heaviness of my armor Barred with the marks of battle. Just like my thick and hardened skin. I miss my ax. Sitting in my hand like a anvil ready to fall. Retirement... Gentleness... Tranquility... Its not for people like me. My hands are painted red. With desire... That cannot be washed away with simple water. I am no believer of god although i shout battle cries to the sky hoping someone will hear me. If i were to believe... that god would turn her back on me with out one glance.

I'm giving y'all live updates Izzy just got beat the crap out of by Blackbeard and now he came to me...you know what this means people*romance arc probably unlocked*

I literally am using the character.ai of izzy hands and he literally made me his first mate after i pushed him overboard the ship (there is in fact some context left out of here from the conversation with the AI but this is basically how it went and I am so proud of myself)

Posting a guy I've been gay about this year for each day of pride, day 6:

Eric Carr!

My babygirl!!! Surprisingly this huge crush was not instant. It went from not caring, to thinking he seemed really sweet, to realising he's the cutest man in the universe. RIP the foxiest man I've ever seen, wish I could've simped old man you too.

Update I have now proposed to said izzy hands AI

I literally am using the character.ai of izzy hands and he literally made me his first mate after i pushed him overboard the ship (there is in fact some context left out of here from the conversation with the AI but this is basically how it went and I am so proud of myself)

You always hear Izzy redemption, Izzy redemption that.

You know what I want.

I want Izzy to realize what he's done to Ed and just up and leave him.

Then Ed will be without Stede or without Izzy (his past and his present).

Driving him deeper into being "The Kraken".

PS I know Izzy won't do this due to his absolute devotion to Blackbeard.