Gimli: What Is Aragorn Doing?

Silmarillion Sexy Man Tournament

Have you ever wondered who REALLY is the sexiest guy in the Silmarillion? No? Well, start wondering.

The Silmarillion Sexy Man poll will be a bracket style competition to see who truly is the sexiest guy from Silm! Currently there are 48 contestants, listed below.

Finwë, Thingol, Fëanor, Fingolfin, Finarfin, Maedhrod, Maglor, Celegorm, Caranthir, Curufin, Fingon, Turgon, Finrod, Angrod, Aegnor, Glorfindel, Ecthelion, Beleg, Mablung, Eöl, Celeborn, Maeglin, Gwindor, Turin, Tuor, Eärendil, Voronwë, Sauron, Manwë, Melkor, Orome, Tulkas, Orodreth, Celebrimbor, Bëor, Androg, Ar-Pharazon, Elrond, Elros, Dior, Beren, Hurin, Huor, Isildur, Elendil, Eönwë, Mandos, and Ulmo

Don’t see your favorite blorbo on there? Don’t worry, I probably just forgot they existed. Shoot me an ask, and I will add them to the list! Polls will start likely in the next few days. Each character will randomly be paired up with another to ensure fairness, but popular characters may be paired up with eachother to give less popular characters a fair chance. This poll would be really boring if Maedhros and Sauron instantly won just for being popular.

Short FAQ:

Which characters can I nominate?

Anyone not on the list, as long as they feature mainly in The Silmarillion. For example, characters like Glorfindel is allowed since he plays a major role in the events of The Silmarillion, but Gandalf would not be allowed because he mainly features in LOTR, and this poll focuses on The Silmarillion.

Where are the women?

Don’t worry, women will get their seperate Silmarillion Sexy Woman Tournament after this one ends. I didn’t want to include them because they would just lose round one and that’s not fun for anyone.

"but they are not canon"

Do I look like I give a fuck

Haleth: heavy is the chest that bears the tits, or however that saying goes.

Caranthir: ...not like that.

“i never see you at the club” ok well i never see you on ao3 at 2am reading about the same two bitches falling in love for the 1000th time in the 500th way

Aragorn: Today I realised I'm old

Eomer: Oh? How so?

Aragorn: I slipped and fell in the courtyard and instead of laughing, all my Elven friends came running to see if I was alright

Eomer : (laughing)

Aragorn: I saw fear in Legolas’ eyes

Maglor: Where's Maitimo!?

Beleg: I'll do you one better, who is Maitimo?!

Celegorm: I'll do you one better! Why is Maitimo?

"Fandom isn't perfect" bullshit have you ever hung out with the Silmarilion fandom? Tolkienites are already chill as fuck but the Silm girlies are elite. No drama, no shipping wars, no antis. THRIVING incest community. The fanfic is BIBLICALLY good. Just a bunch of phenomenal artists drawing elf yaoi in perfect harmony and we could learn a lot from them

Sauron, watching someone run like a bat out of hell from Ungoliant: haha what a fucking idiot

Sauron:

Sauron: wait. that's my idiot!

i would pay several hundred dabloons to see orlando bloom play a book-accurate legolas. i completely understand how they probably had to tone his character down or else he would’ve taken all the spotlight lol, but can you imagine orlando bloom fucking SCREAMING at the sight of a balrog