hey, i hope ur doing ok :) i was wondering, r ur stories discontinued or r u still on hiatus? <3<3
hello!
none of my stories are discontinued unless stated otherwise! i know i don't update for months and months... but i still write or i try to write everyday at least one sentence, or just a few words to both of my stories and many others ;v; i don't want to say i'm in hiatus, but i really don't have time for anything these past few months and it has been pretty stressful. yet i really want to update so i try to get chapters done very slowly,,,, ;_;
if i do cancel/discontinue my stories, i will post an announcement saying so (: hopefully that won't happen LOL.
and yes, i'm doing ok! thank you very much. hope all of u are doing good and everything is going well! hopefully i can post something this month or the next................... hopefully orz.
Ahh I just wanted to say that I love your writing especially your asylum series, your writing is so pretty and soft (If that even makes sense) it makes me smile everytime I read it! Keep up the good work ā¤ā¤ā¤š¤š¤
awww thank you very much!! this means a lot to me ;D i know it has it's flaws, but im so happy you seem to like my writing! š again, thank you! ā”
shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place ā trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he canāt remember his own face? masterlist
chapter ten ā first day
āāāāāāā§āā§āāāāāā
Standing with everyone else, looking straight without a hint of emotion. This was their first day as a soldier.
[Name] had maturedā his eyes were gentle, but with the horror seen by them made them harder. His cheeks blushed a little by the sunā it was a hot day after all. And with the uniform on... ugh... He felt already soaked inside the jacket.
He could hear the yells from the instructor, shouting at some kid far away from his line. Even if he was far away, it seemed he was just besides him. [Name] bet the man could be heard to Wall Sina.
Deep in his thoughts, he didn't catch a certain pair of eyes looking at him curiously. But thanks to his instincts, he feel it, quickly making him look for them. He traveled his unusual eyes trough the line in front of him who were facing him, and finally, [Name] spotted a very tall guy with hazel eyes looking at him. But just when he meet his eyes, he blushed and averted his dull gaze.
"He is very tall..." [Name] thought, admiring his height. He thought maybe he was the tallest soldier around here. The teenager could tell he knew [Name] was watching him, because he began to sweat. Is the sun or is it me?
Hearing the instructor coming near, [Name] quickly looked straight. The man just walked by, until he saw [Name]'s form and began to shout at him immediately without mercy.
"You! Who the hell are you and from where?!"
Saluting, he shouted, "[Name] Knight, sir! From Shinganshina, sir!"
The tall man blinks when he takes a good look at the unusual eyesā and he remembers who he is instantly. He was the kid from the outside... He remembers that last name too well. A Knight, uh?
"And why the hell are you here, you maggot?!"
Without thinking much of it, a natural response left his lips, like an automatic reply or as if someone replied for him, "To free us, sir!"
"We'll see what a good for nothing like you would do against a titan, maggot!" He yelled, leaving him to go for another cadet. [Name] sighed, relieved he was gone. He wasn't a fan of being yelled or having to raise his voice.
" e āā ???? xxxx free!"
A migraine began to take effect on him, making a frown shift his gentle features. Not now, just wait a little moreā it's almost over. But the headache didn't listen to the poor boy, and just began to hurt with more force. He gritted your teeth, bearing the pain. The sun didn't help his situation at all, too.
Thanks to the pain, [Name]'s mind was occupied on calming himself, making him lost any attention to other's peoples names or where the intimidating man was, and certainly, he didn't feel a pair of green eyes looking at him with surprise. When the headaches happened he ignored everything around him, specially when the pain was high. He didn't even noticed his friend getting head-butted by the instructor.
Somehow, [Name] noticed 'presentation time' was over by seeing all of the cadets walking off. Just, how much time has passed? Waitā where did he have to go?
Placing a hand on his head to control his headache, āthat somehow workedā he heard someone approaching, making him turn just to see his friend Jean. He was frowning at himā was he worried?
"[Name]... again with the headaches?" He asked, gently placing a hand on his head, relieving a little pain feeling his warm hand, "maybe there willā"
Before he could finish, a new male voice interrupted him, along with three people quickly approaching both of them, "[Name]!!"
[Name]'s eyes immediately widened, "that voice..." Turning behind him, he meet with the determinated eyes he have always admired. They are alive!
Forgetting about the pain, [Name] tried to say something. But before any of the two of them could react, the brunette with green eyes have tightly hugged [Name], making both of them fall on the ground. But the amnesiac teenager couldn't feel any pain when he was overjoyed and happyā his friends were safe.
"[Name], we thought you were..." A gently voice could be heard, knowing very well who belonged it to. [Name] looks at the blond with soft blue eyes, who looks he's going to cry. "We didn't see you anywhere!"
The black haired girl makes Eren to stand by his disappointment, and quickly helps [Name] stand along. "We look for you when we could, but we never found you..." She says, looking at him as if she didn't believe he was there.. Her eyes looks gentle and soft, and a small smile appear on her delicate lips.
"Where the hell were you!?" The brunette angrily asked, surprising everyone by his outburst, "you didn't look for us, did you!?" Eren spoke with a different toneā he was upset. Mikasa and Armin looked at him in worry: the brunette always got mad when he thought about [Name] back then.
"IāI left as fast as I could with mom and... we got with the refugees and..." [Name] spoke shyly, not expecting such angry behavior this soon, "we went to Trost... and I lived there..." The amnesiac boy didn't find the words to reply backā just as he found his friends he felt fragile, feeling emotions at once.
"Did you think about us when you left?" He frowned, looking at is side feeling hurt, "to think I was worried you were... dead, and after all youā!"
"Hey!" Jean, who was pretty silent with the reunion, shout, getting their attention, shoved [Name] behind him, "[Name] saved his mom's and his' life first! At what you are so angry about?!"
"Aah?! And who the hell are you?!" Eren clenched his fists, not liking one a bit how easy he touched [Name]. This coward is [Name]'s friend?!
"None of your business, dumbass! But I won't stand here and hear your nonsense against him!" Jean could get protective over [Name], even if it wasn't that necessary. But seeing how this idiot wanted to make all of what happened his fault, that wasn't going to happen. He could see [Name] was troubledā he just reunited who the friends he thought were dead, but being pointed at while he was happy made him utterly upset.
"Eren!" Armin tried to calm him down, "[Name] is alive and with us again, aren't you happy?" Mikasa frowned, looking at Eren with concern. She could notice her brother had mixed feelings about finding [Name]ā the ravenette knew his anger would disappear eventually, but he had to control it to not say hurtful things that could upset [Name]. But as Armin and she knew, he didn't think before speaking. Mikasa could notice [Name]'s frown from behind his friendā such a sad look that didn't belong.
Eren gritted his teeth, grunting. He knew he was being an idiot to make [Name] feel like thisā but just as he saw him again... it made a mess with his feelings that he couldn't control well. At times like these it was better to walk off before hurting more. He gave one last pained look at [Name], "Iā See you around, [Name]." He left, clearly mad. Armin gave one last tight hug to [Name] with Mikasa.
"Don't mind him, [Name]. He's happy to see you, you know? He's just... very sentimental as you know," Armin tried to laugh it off awkwardly.
"I guess... It's understandable," [Name] still had his sad lookā he was really happy to see his friends again, but the feeling of guilt overcome his joy. Was it wrong to put his family first?
"I'm happy to see you again, [Name]." Mikasa gently spoke, smiling at him, "these past years had been difficult, but I'm glad you are alright with Miss Beatrice. We... we lost mom."
"And grandpa too..."
[Name] gulped. Carla, the pretty woman that always opened her doors for him, was gone too. Armin's grandpa was gone too. He couldn't understand how they were feeling after loosing their family like that. "W-What about Dr. JƤger...?"
She sighs, "we don't know," she looks at [Name] with a cryptic expression, "but seeing you here makes me glad you are safe."
"I'm glad I could see you again too," he attempted to smile, trying to make himself better. He hugged Mikasa and Armin, "I really missed you."
Armin laughed happily and Mikasa smiled warmly. Jean stood there awkwardly, frowning by what just happened before. The trio eventually finished the hug, pulling away. Both friends waved at [Name], saying they were going to unpack their things and find Eren. [Name] waved at them with a smile, feeling slightly better.
"You didn't tell me your friend was an idiot," Jean spoke, still angry.
"I didn't think he would be like that... but I guess he's still sentimental." [Name] sighs, rubbing his forehead, "at least my headache is gone."
Jean sighs heavily, already in a bad mood in the first day. Patting [Name]ās head, he spoke, āalready the first day and I already hate someone.ā
āEren is not that bad. Heās just... reckless.ā They began to walk to the dormitory.
āIn other words, a dumbass.ā [Name] chuckles, agreeing a little, "also, that girl is pretty..."
As they get into the dormitory, many of the people who were already there began to pick their beds. [Name] didnāt exactly care with who he had to share his bed with, but Jean certainly did. His friend hurriedly tried to find free shared beds, but he couldn't find any. Jean cursed mentally, grunting as he realized he wouldn't share a bed with [Name]. Could he be more unlucky today?
While Jean got angry in silence, [Name] already choose a free bed and began to unpack his stuff. Yawning, the boy couldn't wait to sleep already.
"Hey! Looks like we are sharing!" A freckled boy spoke to him, making him turn. He had dark hair and by just looking at his eyes there was no maliceā only kindness. [Name] nodded, not knowing what else to say. Fortunately, the freckled male didn't back off, "I'm Marco Bodt, nice to meet you!"
"[Name] Knight. Nice to meet you, Marco."
Just as both unpacked their things Marco did most of the chatter. [Name] didn't mind himā his voice was soft and gentle. He liked hearing him, and the freckled didn't mind [Name]'s silence, so that was nice. It seemed he had notices [Name]'s unusual eyes too, but didn't say anything about them.
Jean's absence didn't last long. The irritated teenager found [Name], and as he saw his friend already being so comfortably with someone made him narrow his eyes in suspicion. He approached him, "[Name], you found a bed?"
Both of them turned. [Name] nodded, sitting on the bed as he stretched. "He's Marco."
"A-Ah! Hello!" Marco smiled, and Jean only stared at him with narrowed eyes. It was clear miles away this boy didn't mean harmā but why would Jean even care about that?
"Hi," Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck trying to calm himself, "I'm Jean."
"Uhmā what you said back there..." Marco spoke, not sure if to proceed but did nevertheless, "you were really honest."
"Hmn?" [Name]'s brow raised, "what happened?"
"You didn't see?" [Name] shook his head, noticing Jean's blush, "he got... well, he got head-butted by the instructor."
"He did?" [Name] couldn't hold his chuckle. Just imagining his friend being attacked by Shadis was funny, shame his migraine didn't let him see such show. "What did you say to get that?"
"It's not important anymore!" Jean yelled, clearly embarrassed, "anyways! We should change alreadyā dinner will be in some hours so..."
"Oh, right! It's nice we don't have to do anything on our first day..."
[Name], already irritated by the tightness of his uniform, stood up from the bed and began to undress himself without any care.
Both boys noticed his actions, blush appearing on their faces immediately.
"H-Hey! [Name], what are you doing?!" Jean spoke trying to stop him, but only receiving a slap on his wrists.
"Undressing." He answered, unbuttoning his shirt.
Jean realized this was going to be until the end of their trainingā as the trainee corps had limited expenses, it was clear there was no "dressing room" or private showers. Every man and woman had to share and see each other without clothes, so their shyness had to go away forcefully.
Just the thought of seeing [Name] in the shower made him blush. Covering his mouth, Jean thought wasn't that bad after all...
Marco averted seeing [Name] taking his pants off, crimson appearing on his face. He tried to shake off the awkwardness of the situation, "w-well! W-Where are you two f-from?!"
Jean and Marco tried their best to hold a conversation without seeing [Name] changing without any care in the world. When he finished, the amnesiac teenager laid on the bed and told them to wake him up when it was time for dinner. Marco was surprised seeing him asleep in about five minutes, but Jean had explained [Name]'s favorite hobby was sleeping every time he could, so it was normal he fell asleep quickly. The freckled boy was rather impressed.
Ā From not too far away a brunette and a blonde saw everything with a blush on their faces.
"Idiot...!"
"W-Well! He really is the same, ah?"
āāāāāāā§āā§āāāāāā
"[Name], wake up. It's time."
The amnesiac boy grunted, frowning as he opened his eyes lazily, spotting Jean. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stretched and yawned. Jean knew when [Name] woke up, it would be five or even ten minutes of him being semi-awake, so he had to take care of him in a sense of procuring to watch over his steps, where he was going or stop him before he could hurt himself. It was pretty ridiculous how sleepy his friend could be, but it didn't make him less adorable.
"Is he really awake?" Marco asked, looking at how somnolent [Name] looked. Was he really that tired before?
"Nope, but he'll manage."
[Name] stood from the bed, staggering a little. He took Jean's hand, but the other, nervous and embarrassed of the comment he would get from the others guys slapped his hand away. The amnesiac boy stared at him in confusion for the sudden rejectionā strange. Jean, blushing, already began to walk to the dining hall to hide his blushed face.
Why did I do that?! Clenching his fist, Jean was clearly feeling embarrassedā he knew since before getting here this would be a problem. It seemed his pride was more important. "L-Let's go already!" [Name] tilted his head, yawning. He followed Jean, with Marco behind.
The freckled boy didn't understand what just happened at first, and stayed in silence. He took care of where [Name] was stepping onā the teenager almost went to sleep again while walking and almost hit himself with a wall. Can he sleepwalk...? Marco hoped he didn't.
When they got to the dinning hall it was pretty full, but they were just in time. Marco, seeing that [Name] looked still sleepy, told him to wait on a table while Jean and him returned with food. He happily agreed, instantly sitting on the nearest table, placed his arms on it and rested his head on them. Was he looking for the right time to sleep again?
"Is it normal that he sleeps so much?" Marco asked, taking two pieces of bread, two plates of soup and water.
"Don't know normal, but usually. I think the most he has slept was three days."
"W-What?!"
"Yep. Sometimes is impossible to wake him upā normally his mom would take care of this, but as he is here..." He sighs, "that won't be any good."
"Three days..." Was that even possible? Wasn't Jean exaggerating? "How normally has that happened?"
"I didn't really take track of it. But I noticed when he got bad headaches, and I mean bad, he fell asleep for some days."
"Headaches...?"
The time they were in line Jean explained [Name] state until they finished and returned to their table. The teenager still remained asleep, until Jean shook his shoulder to wake him up.
"Eat before it gets coldā it already is, somehow." He sit in front of [Name], and Marco besides him.
[Name] rested his chin on the palm of his hand, lazily taking bites to the bread. His eyes spotted his childhood friend Eren being surrounded by other people. He waved to Mikasa and Armin, receiving a wave and a serene smile from the ravenette and a grin from the blonde. It seemed Eren had already stated he was from Shiganshina, because [Name] could hear plenty of questions about how the titans looked like.
Jean was listening, and Marco, who grew more curious about it went to Eren's table to listen with the others.
It seemed a question hit a nerve. [Name] could only see Eren covering his mouth as if he wanted to vomitā after all, what happened to him was traumatic. He lost his mother, and who knows where his father was.
Jean's eyes shifted from Eren to [Name] respectively, noticing the worried expression his friend carried.
Just hearing the brunette speaking about joining the survey corps like [Name] made him more irritated than he already was. Nevertheless, he didn't let it show and preferred having some fun. "Wait a moment, are you crazy? Did you just say you want to join the Survey Corps?"
The brunette frowned at him, even more when he saw [Name] in the same table with him, "what about it? You are the one who wants to join the Military Police to take it easy, aren't you?"
[Name] just watched in silence, wondering what exactly Jean wanted to do.
Jean smirked, "What can I say? I'm honest. I prefer being that than try to act tough when in reality you are scared shitless." The comment seemed to annoy Eren, seeing him stand up with a glare directed at Jean. The taller teenager didn't seem bothered in the slightestā he stood up too and both teenagers approached each other. But whatever they wanted to do was interrupted by the sound of the bell, signalizing dinner time was over.
The taller male just smiled unbothered, "well, my bad. It wasn't trying to judge the way you think," he held his hand in a weak and fake attempt to release the tension, "let's let it go."
"Yeah... I guess I overreacted," It was clear to [Name] that Eren didn't accept the fake apology, seeing him just slapping Jean's hand. He seemed to leave, but before he did he looked at [Name] as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he didn't. Clenching his jaw, he averted [Name]'s prying gaze and left with a frown.
Would he be angry with me forever? [Name] stared at the table, upset. Mikasa and Armin weren't angry with himāand even if they told him Eren's anger wouldn't last that long he didn't fully believe them. Maybe he should speak to him... but how?
It seemed the time he had with Jean these two years had made him more sensitive about friendship, in some way. After all, he did felt some guilt about what happened. But what he could have done? He was just a kid.
"You okay?" Marco's gentle voice is heard, looking at his friend in worry.
"Yeah. I'm just... sleepy," he rubbed his eyes, "where's Jean?"
"Outside... I think someone's with him." He looked at the door, seeing Jean talking to a short guy.
[Name] didn't feel too lively now, and the only thing he thought about was laying in bed. He guessed he had to get up early in the morning tomorrow. Standing up, he took the last bite on his bread, not feeling hungry anymore. "I want to sleep already... I'm heading back."
"A-Ah, I'm going with you!"
Just as he wanted to leave, he bumped onto someone else, instantly hearing a shaky apology. [Name] blinked, lifting his gaze to meet someone incredibly taller than him.
It looked like the taller guy recognized him from somewhere, seeing his widening eyes.
[Name] knew those eyes.
"Ahā you are the one with pretty eyes from back then. And the one from when Shadis was yelling at us..." He spoke with his dull voice, not noticing some questioning gazes he got for the compliment. The brunette blushed, stuttering. "You are taller."
"You know him?" Marco asked, looking at both of them with prying eyes.
"Yes. We met in the refugee." He looks at him, "I never got your name."
"Uhm, B-Bertholt!" He seemed shy.
"Nice to meet you." He smiled, tilting his head.
"Bertholt! Weā" A more deep voice came trough, but stopped when he saw company. It was a blonde and buffed guyā [Name] remembered him too. Seemed he did too, because his expression was the same as the brunette's, "Y-You are from back then!"
"There was someone else with you, wasn't it? Is she here too?"
"A-Ah, well, yes. She's around." The blonde smiles, "nice to see you again. I'm Reiner, by the way."
They both were going to the dormitory too, so Marco and [Name] stick with them. When they saw Jean outside they invited him to head back with them, but he had told them he was going to stay a little longer outside.
The four teenagers began to head back, and as expected, Reiner and Marco did the most of the talking, while Bertolt and [Name] quietly stayed in the back. The amnesiac boy looked carefully at the brunette, as if he was inspecting him. That only made Bertolt nervous.
He took Bertolt's hand, surprising the brunette. [Name] let out some hums and ah's, "you are huge. How did you get so tall...?" He compared his hand with the other's, looking at the difference while the brunette's face went red by the touch.
"U-Uhm, thanks...?" He said unsureā was that a compliment...?
"Tell me your secrets." Sparks appeared in [Name]'s eyes as he tightly hold Bertolt's hand. The brunette began to sweat, feeling shy and awkward by the touch.
"Uhm... Reiner..."
āāāāāāā§āā§āāāāāā
Just as they got to their destination, [Name] wasted no time in throwing himself on the bed. Laying on his stomach, the pillow where he pressed his face on made his voice get muffled, "good night" he tried to say, ignoring any sort of conversation somebody wanted to have with him.
The three teenagers just saw him. He really was either lazy or just uninterested about everything.
"He sure likes to sleep a lot..." The freckled boy said, impressed. He knew it would be a pain to wake him up in the morning tomorrow.
The blonde laughed, "let's see who wakes up firstā [Name] or Bertolt? Looks like you two have something in common." The comment received a grunt from his friend.
The three spoke a little bit before going to sleep, even when Jean got back. He wasn't surprised seeing his friend already asleep, and remembering he wasn't sharing bed with him made him grumpy before going to bed. Unluckily, his past thoughts about how handling [Name]'s touchy behavior made him pretty awake all night. Was it really a problem? Did he really pay attention of what others think about their relationship? Well, if they thought they were in one it was even better, wouldn't be? Even more if that jackass Jaeger knew about it. Just remembering the looks he gave them made him snicker. Unfortunately, that wouldn't matter if [Name] himself didn't feel anything romantically for him.
Fucking hell. Can this be more complicated?!
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ć shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum ā alternative universe, modern setting ć ćmale!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!readerć summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasnāt been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist
5
āSir! Good morning!ā [Name] greeted, surprised to see Erwin. It looked like the blond was waiting for him, instead of Zeke.
āGood morning, [Name]. Nice to see you again.ā The blond replies, slightly smiling. āDr. Jaeger will not accompany you today, I willā just to see. Hope you are alright with that.ā Erwin remembers the conversation he had with Zekeā he could see the irritation coming from the doctor, and the blond couldnāt suppressĀ a smirk.
I canāt believe even you are like this. Just how many will get in my way, Erwin?
āOf course, sir.ā [Name] blinked, āso you will see my sessions for today?ā
āIndeed. Itās just for some precaution, [Name], so donāt stress about it.ā Erwin smiles, āalso, call me Erwin.ā The blond gesture him to follow him, which [Name] quickly do. They began to walk, heading upstairs.
āAlright, Erwin.ā The young assistant gently says, and Erwin can feel something on his lower area by just hearing his name coming from the otherās mouth.
Clearing his throat, the blond speaks, ādid Dr. Zeke told you anything about Bertolt Hoover?ā
āHe gave me his file yesterday, so I think Iām preparedā¦ā [Name] couldnāt help but being upset by recalling the patientās backstory, and Erwin instantly noticed his change of demeanor.
āWhatās troubling you?ā
āItās just⦠sad reading what he was force to do. Itās not fair.ā He sighs, before looking motivated all of sudden, āI will do everything in my power to help him, Erwin! All of them!ā
Erwin looked surprised for a second, eventually slightly smiling by the otherās words. The blond was strangely fascinated by himā Erwin couldnāt help himself to watch every footage from the security cameras where the young male was in. Eventually, Erwin could see the looks Zeke sent to [Name] when he wasnāt looking, confirming Erwinās suspicions.
Unfortunately for Zeke, Erwin didnāt have any intention to back off.
āIām glad you are committed for this, [Name].ā
ććććććććć
Bertolt Hoover. His mental state seems fine most of the time, unfortunately, his stress level get high, causing panick attacks that make him change to his older self.
Background: He, along with Reiner Braun, was a member of a cult which did horrendous crimes against a certain race. Bertoltās family was under death threats, forcing him to do all kind of acts. Murder, torture, along other violent things. These acts affected his mental healthā he sometimes gets caught on his older self, calling the doctors and nurses ādevilsā. Even if he repents the crimes he committed most of the time, sometimes Bertolt snaps under stress, when a nurse has to give him pills or injections.
āHello?ā [Name] gently greeted, spotting the taller boy, sitting quietly. The assistant instantly smiles, sitting down. He introduced himself, as usual. āMay I know your name?ā
The taller male sweats, cheeks blushed. āB-Bertoltā¦ā
[Name] brightly smiles, making Bertoltās heart skip a beat. The brunette canāt help himself but to avert the otherās gaze, feeling embarrassed. The assistant doesnāt catch this, and worries himself by Bertoltās reaction.
āAm I making you uncomfortable, Bertolt?ā [Name] tilts his head, trying to catch the tallerās male attention.
āN-Not at all!ā The brunette reassures, meeting [Name]ās gaze. Ā "I-Itās just⦠Iām not good at talking.ā
The young assistant chuckles, "Donāt worry about it, Bertolt! Iām sure both of us will connect easily!ā [Name] fondly looks at him, āI will talk a little about me, maybe you can do it when I finish?ā Bertolt only nodded, surprised by the look he received. [Name] shortly after began to talk about himself, things the brunette couldnāt pay any attention to.
The gentle look of [Name] was freshly stuck in Bertoltās mind, He didnāt know when was the last time a look like that was meant for himā it has been years since he felt something warm on his chest. Something that made him feel good; and even if it was something as small as a look āthat the doctors and nurses never gave himā, Bertolt couldnāt stop tears from coming, alerting [Name].
āOh my! Why are you crying? Was it something I said?ā Ā [Name] worriedly asked.
The taller male just shacked his head, unable to say anything. [Name] gently took his hand, which was bigger than his, and began to caressing it. āIām here with you, Bertolt.ā The comment only made the brunette cry harder, silently sobbing. [Name] got up and approached Bertolt, and dried his tears with his thumb. āItās alrightā¦ā
That was what Bertolt needed before, and what he needed now. He wanted someone comforting himā not seeing him as a monster. When was the last time he was embraced? comforted? The brunette couldnāt stop himself and tightly hugged [Name], taking him by surprise. Hiding his face on the crook of the assistantās neck, [Name] was stuck in a uncomfortable position. Bertolt was still sitting, arms around the otherās waist. And so when he was being hold by the other, [Name] was awkwardly sitting on his lap.
Bertolt saw the assistant as the only light on his darknessā even if only a look made him sob and cry, the taller male didnāt ever want to let him go. This person was the only one after all this time that made him warm, and he wouldnāt lose him for anything. Even if he had to kill every devil on this planet, to stay like this, then so will he.
[Name]ās neck was wet by Bertoltās tears, not that he minded. The assistant softly caressed his hair with a sad expression plastered on his face. The [hair color]-haired male was heartbroken by seeing Bertolt like thisā [Name] wondered what could have trigger such a reaction, but nothing came to mind. Maybe he could ask later on another occasion, because right now, it was clear he needed someone close.
However, Bertoltās mind was slowly clouding with dark thoughts. He didnāt want to ever let goā he enjoyed how warm this closeness made him feel. He loved how the other caressed him like a mother to his child, softly murmuring kind words right on his ear.
Bertolt had to protect him from all the devils.
Bertolt tightened the hold, making [Name] let out a low groan. āB-Bertolt⦠you are hugging me too tightlyā¦ā
The taller male blinked, with no more tears falling. He didnāt intended to hurt his light, his angel. Loosing his grip, Bertolt straighten himself to look at the other. [Name]ās eyebrows were furrowed in worry, looking at the brunette.
āWhat troubled you, Bertolt? Did I say something?ā [Name] gently asked. However, the brunette didnāt pay attention to his words.
Rather, Bertolt was focusing on his [eye color] eyesā soft and gentleĀ looking right at him. The kind face who looked worried, his soft lips moving but nothing could be heard. The taller male couldnāt catch a single lie on his faceā only spotting true kindness.
Bertolt looked at [Name] with admiration and sparks on his green eyesā the brunette was looking at him as if he was his savior, and surely, he certainly was. Like an angel or some divine entity, that was Bertolt seeing [Name] as. He will protect him.
The brunette took [Name]ās face with both hands, placing them on his soft cheeks. The assistant was surprised by the action, but remained in silence to see what Bertolt would do next. By his surprise, the patient gave a soft and fast peck on his lips, instantly making [Name]ās cheeks burn.
Bertolt slowly retreated, with both hands still on the otherās cheeks, and intently looked at [Name], focused and determined. āI will protect you from the devils. I promise.ā
Letās just say a certain blond wasnāt very happy about what he was seeing⦠In fact, he felt furious watching what he considered his being touchedā and even kissed! He couldnāt stand seeing the hands touching the assistantās face and body. Erwin would not allow this going any further, and so, he exited the room he was in to quickly opening the door the session was in, alerting both of the males on the room.
āErwin? But my time isnāt over?ā
āIt is over now. Leave.ā Erwin demanded, his icy eyes looking at both males, [Name] shivering under it, and Bertolt glaring at him.
Unfortunately to [Name], when he tried to move away, Bertoltās grip was still strong. āBertolt⦠I have to retire from now, can you please let me go?ā he murmured,
Erwin, catching what was happening, said, āI strongly advice to let go of him right now, Hoover.ā
Bertolt only glared at him, tightlyĀ hugging [Name] by his waist. The assistant could feel the tension on the room, and before anything could happen, he tried to make Bertolt comply. āPlease, Bertolt. I promise I will return, alright?ā Unfortunately, the brunette shacked his head, hugging him closer, just like a child, fearing he would disappear. [Name] sighed, but remained positive. This could be done pacifically, Ā he just had to be a little pushy.
The assistant placed his hands on Bertoltās cheeks, making him look at him. Quickly, [Name] placed a fast kiss on Bertoltās nose, and then said, āI promise I will return; we will see each other again, Bertolt. But only if you let me go.ā
Erwinās eye twitched in annoyance by seeing the interaction. His fist tightly clenched, trying to remain calm and patiently wait for this to finish.
Bertolt, who looked unsure, slowly let go. [Name] smiled, finally standing and muttered a thanks. Quickly after Erwin and [Name] left the room, leaving Bertolt alone with his thoughts.
I will protect himā¦
ććććććććć
The walk was in a uncomfortable silence. [Name] didnāt know what to exactly say, seeing how tensed the blond looked. But before he could speak, Erwin stopped walking, [Name] quickly following.
āYou canāt physically touch a patient like thatā it is forbidden. You will not do or let that happenedĀ again, understood?ā Erwin spoke in a deep voice, making [Name] shiver in fear. The poor assistant never imagined to hear the blond sounding so demanding and scaryā his whole aura felt cold and heavy.
āB-But⦠he needed it! Bertolt was justāā
āHewill not touch you again!ā The loud yell silenced [Name], who quickly shifted his gaze to the floor, his hands trembling.
The assistant forgot that even if the blond gave him kind smiles on his first day, that didnāt mean he wasnāt his boss. [Name] felt helpless under this tension, the blond surely had a heavy and demanding aura who told who was in charge here.
Erwin, noticing [Name]ās shaking form, instantly regretted his behavior. Yes, he was furious with what just occurred, but he didnāt want his [Name] to be scared of him. The blond rubbed his temples, sighing.
āIām sorry, [Name]ā¦ā The taller man apologized, lowering his voice, āI was⦠worried. You donāt know what could happen if you let them cross the line.ā
He waited for him to say something, but he only received a nod for an answer. āCan you look at me, [Name]? I apologize with how I reacted.ā
Still, the small assistant didnāt look at him. Erwin. impatient, gently grabbed [Name]ās chin and made him look up, meeting his [eye color] eyes. The blond could tell the other was nervous and intimidated by him; something that made Erwin strangely⦠pleased and conflicted at the same time.
āI apologize.ā Erwin said, ābut you canāt let them be that close to you; itās dangerous, and I canāt let something happen to you. Do you understand, [Name]?ā
āI⦠understand, Erwin.ā [Name] spoke, unsure. Erwin slightly smiled, caressing [Name]ās cheek with his thumb, before letting go. The tension disappeared, letting [Name] breathe again.
āIām glad you do.ā
Child of the sun, come back
You had colorful memories, once: vivid flower fields, triumph smiles, faces that gave you comfort. But now, images of curtains with the sun behind blurred your mind, leaving darkness where color had been, once.
1122words / one shot / angst
note: after years of not writing anything, baldurs gate has inspired me to write just a little bit. ascended astarion has some good angst around him and i love it
There were days spent in the hollow main room, where the curtains protected your being from becoming dust. A lonely chair in front of the window, where just a peek welcomed a ray of the sun to meet the cold room. You just admired it quietly, desiring it to meet your flesh once more; to take you back to who you once were.
Astarion had said something once. He had stayed, observing silently, as if you were going to open the curtains and kiss the sun, leaving to another limbo. You knew it wasn't because he was scared, but everytime you came here, he appeared. Standing near the door where the darkness was, as if he were hiding from the rays of sunlight. He had yearned for them, once. Perhaps its familiarity had bored him.
But then, that company left, and the sun stayed.
āI don't know what's inside that head of yours, darling.ā
He could know, but he chose not to.
Quietly watching as you hug your legs, your gaze peeking behind your knees. A ray almost looking magical, sacred. A plea to be touched.
Come back to me, child of the sun.
Child of the sun⦠you were, once. Someone had called you that, once. Who?Ā You wonderedāalways did.
Sometimes you caught yourself forgetting memories; where once there were faces with prideful smiles, now rest the images of curtains, and that face, almost proudly, looking back at you with a high face.
Then, you hear it: a melody. Maybe inside your head, but it has been a long time since satisfying music passed through your ears. Closing your eyes, your head moves slightly with the rhythm. This palace had always been silent.
You stood up. Your legs moved by themselvesāa curious thing, feeling as if something controlled you. Your hands dance delicately. This time, is enjoyable.
Someone taught you how to dance, once. A warm hand guided your clumsy steps to a magnificent piece. Warm compliments to keep you going. You had funāyou remembered that.
You danced, once. With who?
āYou are dancing.ā
You stopped, paying full attention to him. The room seemed darker.
āI was.ā
Astarion just stared. Observing was one of his favorite pastimes all this eternity. Arms behind him, trying to interpret your curious actions. But then, he holds his hand for you to take.
āDance with me.ā This time it doesn't feel like a commandāa request, perhaps. Either way, it required your obedience.
You accepted it, and in an instant, he had a grip on youāhis left arm around your waist, his right hand taking your hand higher. A close proximity you expected. This Astarion loved touchāto be close. Weirdly, this grip was soft.
And then, he moved. You are confused by the danceāwhat was his intention? Slower? Faster? Your clumsiness appeared once more by almost falling, but the vampireās hands kept you in place. The soft chuckle from Astarion fills your ears, and you feel something you hadn't felt latelyāembarrassment.
When was the last time you felt anything, anyway?
āWhy the rush, my dear? We just began.ā He guided you. Back perfectly still, shoulders impeccably aligned, head high, with eyes staring back at you with a gentleness you didn't recognize. His true intentions were unknown to you. When those scarlet eyes held such tenderness just for you in this present, you didn't know if they were real, or if the meaning behind them was something completely different.
Either way, this mystery game tired you and holds no meaning anymore. Resting your head on his chest, the melody that once was, dissolved, leaving you in a cold silence. The curtains blocked the sun, and the rays of light werenāt as strong as before. Were they afraid, of the dark in the room?
āI was a child of the sun, once.ā You muttered more to yourself than to him.
āYou were, once.ā A different gripātighter, afraid to let go; or, maybe, caging you to not break the connection. But was it a connection when one line was severed? When the other side was unresponsive?
There was no answer when his response was final. A tone that you use with a child when they should not question further. You are happy without divulging. Ignorance is a bliss. Stay with me. Why do you even think of leaving?
āThis is what you wantedāto stay with me.ā He reassured, whispering over your ear as he pressed your bodies together.
āOf course I did.ā An instant answer. To you, it is a justification for your predicament. To him, it is a decision you made for love. A meaning that both sides had something in common: to stay beside each other for eternity, even if the concept of love was morphed according to whom the person is.
Then, he stopped, and so did you. Opening your eyes, you looked at him, only to see unusual fragility in that crimson. The dance already forgotten; his hand moved to grip your jaw, leaving a gentle kiss. Your eyes flickered to the hidden windowsāslightly opened, letting the curtains dance, too.
Strange tenderness. Thereās nothing.
He broke the one-sided connection. Crimson eyes wandered your face. āYour meal is soon. I advise you to get ready, my love.ā He doesn't leave. He needs an answer.
āOf course.ā The response satisfied him, as he freed your jaw from his grip. He takes backwards steps with his arms on his back, observing again. You took the chance to study him, tooāexactly the same as you can remember. Curled soft hair, as white as snow; stance looking proudly, But that faceā¦
āIāll wait for you.ā
āYes.ā
Unfortunately, such embrace almost meant nothing. A chore, perhaps; or maybe, a burden only a puppet can keep on doing. The cruelty of it all left hollowness, and even the memories had left you.
The rays of light seemed to exist again once his presence was gone. There's warmth once the sun remembers you, calling what was before your name. To come back to them.
You had a name, back then. Your friends called your name, once. They didnāt erase it. They didnāt call you things you weren't.
The memories belong to the curtains. What you once were, belongs to them now.
You had a reflection. You had warmth. You had mortality. You had the sun. You had him. You hadā
You opened the curtain.
The window had no reflection for you.
But it had such a loving embrace you didnāt have in many years.
You came back to me, child of the sun.
[ shingeki no kyojin x male reader ]
ć male!various x male!amnesiac!reader ć
[Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place -- trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches.
Who is he? And why he can't remember his own face?
Masterlist
āāāāāāā§āā§āāāāāā
It was one of their usual tasksā bring wood and herbs for Mr. Jaeger. It was a job for Eren and [Name], as Mikasa helped Miss Carla and Beatrice with pastries and baking bread in [Name]ās mom house. Everyone was pleased how nice the relationship between Eren and [Name] turned outā no more fighting but the occasional comments [Name] had to say to stop Erenās angerish behavior. Surprisingly, they actually could notice how the brunette liked his company, and always wanted to stay at his side. The two women could notice when Eren was being scolded by [Name], he just blushed and averted his face, as if he was embarrassed of his actions.
It was somehow irritating for [Name]. As you could tell, he wasnāt fond of Erenās voiceā it was loud and annoying. He preferred staying with Mikasa or Armin, as their voices were less noisy than Erenās. Obviously, this was an unusual conflict within the two: [Name] being vocal about his annoyance, and Eren being angry about it.
Eren liked [Name]ā it was a fact. Carla and Beatrice could see that so clearly, even if the brunette tried to deny it so desperately. It was a huge change from their beginningā it was actually strange how Erenās behavior changed when [Name] scolded him, but when Mikasa did it he angered. As Beatrice believed, [Name] was unaware of Erenās feelings and didn't pay much attention to him. He too denied Eren felt something for him, and just was being the usual āhot-headā he was.
But their differences werenāt always presentā they genuinely liked each other and were good friends. [Name] didnāt hate or disliked Eren but the opposite: the amnesiac boy admired how strong and determined he was. It was just his loud voice that made his ears suffer. Nevertheless, [Name] sometimes tried to bear with it and spent time with Eren, and the brunette tried his best to not be ānoisyā.
But back to the presentā Fortunately, Dr. Grisha didnāt say when he wanted the herbs, and neither he looked impatient or urged for them. The two boys decided to rest a little bit in the small woods, the air was fresh and it was surprisingly relaxing there, as no one but them were there. The two carefully placed the bottles full of herbs on the grass before lying on the ground, looking at the sky. [Name]ās eyes sheepishly looked at the clouds, while Eren eyed him, he being unaware of it.
āSay, [Name]...ā Eren spoke to get his attention, in which the other hummed in response, ādo you think... we could see the ocean together one day...?ā He asked with a blush on his face, looking at the other side to hide his embarrassment.
[Name] blinked, still not looking at him. āWhatās with the sudden question? The four of us promised we would.ā [Name] felt relaxed, blinking slowly. Letting out a yawn, he rubs his eyes, shifting to a more comfortable pose to sleep, not paying much attention on what the other has to say.
āThatās not what I mean...ā Eren frowns, unaware of [Name]ās sudden tiredness. āI mean that... maybe we could...ā he blushed deeply, unable to explain his feelings. Heās not good at feelings, and when he had never felt something like this before, this is hard for him. Even more when the one you have interest on doesnāt even likes you that much. āI want to see it with you... right at my side.ā His whole face is painted in redā he plays nervously with his hands.
The lack of response made Eren impatient. Looking at the side, he noticed [Name] had fallen asleep by the low snoring that could be heard. At first, the brunette felt irritated and angryā as usual, [Name] wasn't paying attention to him. He even tried to not be so loud, and [Name] didn't even care about it! He didn't want to accept the small glint of jealously he felt when the [color haired] boy preferred to be with Mikasa or Armin, but him! Annoyed, the boy crossed his arm and averted seeing the sleeping boy, pouting.
Sighing, the boy lies on the grass, watching the sky. āIām not that loud...ā he speaks to himself, turning to see [Name] with narrowed eyes. The boy lies peacefully, his chest slowly moving up and down as he breathes, both hands tangled over his stomach. Why did he liked [Name] that much? At first he couldnāt stand himā but seeing him... hurting the way he was before, it made him feel... upset and dirty. His guilt was a major factor of his change, and somehow, interacting more with [Name] and knowing him more and more made him interested and curious on him.
He likes him, thatās the truth.
Sitting, the brunette gets closer to [Name]ās form, looking at his face, focusing on him. Eren canāt help himself and slowly leans forward [Name]ās face, Erenās own heartbeat raising. Gulping, he closes his eyes, hands shaking by his nervousness. He gently kisses the soft lips, deep crimson painting his cheeks. Eren feels... joy as he answers his curiosity, but soon he becomes worried and scared as he feels [Name]ās body shifting. Immediately the brunette breaks the small kiss, almost falling on his back by he sudden separation. He covers his mouth with his hands as he nervously looks at the [hair color] haired blinking sheepishly, looking around and spotting him besides him.
āEren...? Did I fall asleep...?ā [Name] asks as he rubs his eyes, yawning. Stretching, he notices Erenās quiet and unusual behavior. āIs something wrong...?ā
āUhmā No! EāEverythingās fine! We should get going.ā Eren hastily speaks as he gets up and takes the wood and bottles, signaling [Name] to hurry up too. The amnesiac boy blinks confused, but soon stretches and gets up too. He takes the herbs and the wood on his back and waits for Eren to begin walking. Surprisingly, Eren takes his hand wihout warning.
āEāEverything ready?ā Eren gulps as he speaks, looking at [Name] with a blush on his cheeks. He pleads in his mind for [Name] not to reject himā to stay like this just for this moment. His heartbeat raising as he sees the amnesiac boy blinking, not giving his thoughts awayā Eren has always watched how expressionless [Name] can be. The brunette holds his breath until [Name] answers.
āYes. Letās go.ā [Name] nods while speaking, walking ahead hand in hand with Eren. By Erenās surprise, the [hair color] haired boy tangles his fingers with Erenās, making the brunetteās heart skip a beat. [Name]ās face is the sameā serene and calm, while Erenās is a messy crimson.
They met Hannes in the way back, and the blonde soldier can catch how red Eren is. He couldnāt stop himself from laughing at the unusual scene of them being like thisā gaining a āwhat are you laughing at?!ā from Eren, and another scolding from [Name], ādonāt yell like that.ā making the brunette shut his mouth immediately. Hannes was actually impressed by such interactionā not even Carla nor Mikasa were capable of holding this little ball of anger from acting recklessly.
The walk between the two was unexpectedly calm, as both of them talked about what they will have for dinner. Erenās face had a big grin, happy by how things turned out.
i just read the entirety of reiss mental asylum and i'm in love skfhtuebfo
im so happy to read this!! šš i've been receiving a lot of kind comments, but sometimes i can't stop myself from thinking the story is boring and flat...š¦š¦ but reading your comment really makes me happy. thank you for reading! and very sorry for the wait- life has been pretty upsetting lately, but i hope i can get my ass to write soon! i have a lot of ideas for it. c: š» stay tunedā!š»š
I have read it and itās awesome! (So are your other series)
Oh my thank youuu!!! šššš im so happy! I love writing angst, hope i can write for all of you! ā”
ć shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum ā alternative universe, modern setting ć ćmale!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!readerć summary:Ā Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasnāt been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags:Ā DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. Somnophilia at the end! masterlist
notes: someday i will rewrite this whole cringe thing and feel better about it, LOL. but i hope there's enjoyement in this chapter.
ļ¼ļ¼
ćlazy afternoonsć
āYes, Porco, Iām okay.ā [name] chuckled softly. āI will stay over a friendās house, so thereās no need to worry about me.ā
Porco snorted loudly, obviously making fun of his lie. [name] pouted at such reaction. āAĀ friendās house? Exactly who? You have no friends, you loser."
āHāHey! IĀ doĀ have friends!!ā He felt childish, and he could tell Porco was having fun by proving him he was a lonely loser. āI haveĀ many!!ā
āReally? Havenāt seen you go out a single day without the sameĀ fuckingĀ guy.ā
"They are just... secretive. AND busy!"
"Busy... of course."Ā Porco's tone changed, but [name] couldn't put more attention thanks to his migraine. "If everything goes well here, we'll have a talk, you and me. It's important."
"That sounds serious... is something going on?"
"Just... take care of yourself in that disgusting place, man. Tell Victorā"
"Vincent!"
"Whatever his fucking name is, to stay with you. With what you told me, I..."Ā Porco couldn't continue. [name] heard some grunts on the other lineā was he embarrassed?
[name] grinned. "I care about you too, Porco."
"Shut up. I'm hanging up."Ā [name] could tell he was flustered, but silenced his laugh.
"See you soon!"
"Lock your doors and windows."
"Will do."
āæĢ©Ķāæ ą¼ŗ ā° ą¼» āæĢ©Ķāæ
After the call ended, [Name] let out a grunt. He hid his head withinĀ his covers as he remembered Mikeās words about him getting sick. The man was a witchāor maybe a wizard? Either way, he was right. Or at least, his nose told him the future, somehow.
[Name] hadnāt felt dandy when he got to his apartment the night before. He knew getting out of the car by himself wasnāt possible, and Levi, knowing this, helped him as he did before.
He had a bad stomachache and an urge to throw up again; but thought a good night's rest was enough to wake him up and make him feel better. Unfortunately, the moment his alarm interrupted his sleep, he felt the worst way possible.
He also had a fever. He was 100% sure. The cushion was already disgustingly wet from his sweat, along with his pillow, but his sudden weak body didnāt let him get up. Not even when he felt the need to puke. So poor [Name] had to stay put and try to calm himself if he didnāt want to make a disgusting mess in his room. He didn't know how much time had passed since then.
Even if his whole body felt weak and disgusting, [Name] tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Yet, the moment he got up, he almost fellā if it werenāt for his nightstand, his face would have been kissing the floor, with blood being a plus. It was then that he accepted his defeat and called Margaret to notify her of his absence. She had replied, saying she had been waiting for his call since Mike mentioned his condition yesterday. The poor sick just sighed, thanked her, apologized, and hung up.
He was ready for another bad sleep when the phone on the nightstand rang. His eyes couldnāt identify the caller since his vision was a bit blurry, but answered blindly. The moment the voice in the other line spoke, [Name] miraculously surpassed an embarrassing yelp from coming out.
ā[Name], itās Erwin. Good morning, first of all. Iāve been notified of your absence for today. Is everything alright?ā
āOāOh, uhm, yāyes! Ahā! Sorry,Ā good morning!ā It was obvious [Name] wasnāt in the right mind. He couldnāt think clearly, and his headĀ felt like it was burning. His words slurred a bit.Ā Ā āI just got a bit of a feverā nothing I canāt handle, heheeeā¦ā What a fast man Erwin wasā did he call him the moment Margaret notified him?
āIs that so? How are you feeling?ā
āEverything is good! IāmĀ fffine, really!ā
There was a moment of silence on the other line, making [Name] a bit anxious. Was he angry? Upset? Did the think this was a lie?
āI see. Also, donāt worry about todayās schedule. Everythingās covered, alright?ā
āOāOk⦠and, uhm⦠sorryĀ about today⦠I didnātĀ meaanĀ to get sickā¦ā
[Name] heard a chuckle from the other line. āDonāt worry about that, [Name]. Itās not your faultā something like that can be rearranged when you feel better, so donāt overthink it.ā
After saying goodbye, [Name] let out a sigh he didnāt know he was holding.
The silence filling his room let his mind wander about the frightening man. He had felt the intense gaze on him everywhere he went. The sick male wanted to believe something else but a feeling of desire filled those blue eyes. The thought only caused him to grip the bedsheets harder, his face feeling warmer and his thoughts messy. He wanted to turn a blind eye to it, but it was too obvious. The man was bold!
But⦠would it be wrong, though? To accept the date fully? At the moment, it felt like an obligationāa must. [Name] didnāt feel particularly happy about such a thing. Neither when Zeke wanted to use him to do such dirty play to Erwin. Now, it didnāt feel that bad; it was just embarrassing. He laughed light-headedly as he pictured Erwin on a date with himāmaybe eating strawberry cake? or just chuckling at whatever they were talking aboutā¦
The imaginary moment lulled him slowly, blinking lazily at the ceiling. Maybe a good sleep in another place would make him feel betterā¦
But a knock on his door interrupted him, startling him. The sound only made him gruntā he didnāt want to get up⦠but he did nevertheless. Of course, as his mind wasnāt in the right state, he took his blanket with drawings of frogs with him. He breathed heavily as he tried not to stumble too much. When he got to the entrance, he opened the door right away while his mind ignored how Porco scoldedĀ him about how he had to look into the peephole first before answering the door. Living in this godforsaken apartment was dangerous;Ā serial killers would love to pick a stupid victim here, he said.
He blinked lazily, not really recognizing who he was staring at. Until he abruptlyĀ stood straight with a yelp, realizing it wasĀ LeviĀ at his door, looking asĀ happyĀ as ever. [Name] couldnāt be more embarrassed by how he looked right now: a blanket with cartoony frogs on it, his oversize T-shirt with his favorite cartoon, and his shorts. His hair was a mess, his face was warm, and his eyes fought to stay closedā it was more to say that his bruises were on display too.
Levi, amused by the display, raised a brow. āIt looks likeĀ nose manĀ was right.ā
Still, [Name] didn't know what else to say. He stood there,Ā dumbfounded.
āAre you making me stay here all day or what? Have some manners.ā The ravenette spoke in irritation, but with no malice. After all, it was known by now thatĀ his scolding was just for fun. Well...Ā sometimes. This was enough toĀ wakeĀ [name] up from his embarrassing episode. He quickly opened the door with incoherent mumbling and stood aside, letting Levi inside.
He felt dizzy; what he said sounded more as if he was barely keeping it together.Ā āIāI didnāt expect you here!ā He cringed at his own wording, trying to save himself: āI mean, I donāt mean you canātĀ come in! Itās just that IāĀ Weeellāā
āI didnāt expect myself here either, but since we all know you donāt know a thing about self-care, here I am." The ravenette spoke sternly, his eyes narrowing into a sharp critical gaze as he observed the apartment.
āBuuuutā¦Ā There was noĀ neeeedā¦ā The amount of talking made him even dizzier, as he stumbled backwards a little bit. Levi just raised a brow, expecting another lie.
āStop being stubborn andĀ sit down.ā The ravenette placed some plastic bags on the table and emptied it. He took out a canned soup, and [Name] could smell fresh vegetables from the other bag.
He stared dumbfoundedly at the contents, then at Levi, then at the bags, then at the man again. The ravenette stared him back and spoke as if he was talking with an idiot: āYou donāt have anything in your fridge.ā
[Name] stayed in silence, processing the words from him. Then, he stood straight as he stared in embarrassment, eyebrows furrowing. āHow doĀ youĀ know that?!ā
āBecause thatāsĀ you.ā
[Name] didnāt know if to take that as an offense, so he avoided the ravenetteās gaze and looked defeated.
Levi didnāt care, it seemed, since he changed the subject. āWhat have you been doing before I got here?ā
āHmn⦠nothingā¦?ā [Name] sighed and blinked lazily. āI wanted to take a shower, since Iām all sweaty⦠but I didnāt have any energy, and I thought I wouldĀ feeellāā
āOh, youĀ will,ā Levi stated, while crossing his arm as he tried to think, āyouĀ willĀ get that shower. You look like a pig.ā
āYou areĀ meaaaaanā¦ā it wasnāt as if [Name] was in his right mind anyway to think of what he said, āIām going to fall⦠I canāt go⦠and I feel sick,ā he tightened the froggy bedsheets around him even moreā heĀ just wanted to fall asleep again.
āNo.ā Levi spoke sternly, harshly taking the cover off of [Name], causing him to gasp. āYou will get that shower, so better get up and show me where the bathroom is before I take theĀ sinkĀ to shower you.ā
The ravenette took [Name] from the back of his shirt, forcing him to stand up. [Name] couldnāt help but comply, secretly glad he didnāt have to walk alone anymore as he guided Levi to the bathroom. It could seem like a careless action or touch by Levi, but he was sure [Name] wouldnāt fall even if he tripped, since the grip on his collar was strong enough.
He just didnāt want to touch sweat.
Levi was aĀ bitĀ grateful the bathroom was inĀ decentĀ shape after seeing such living room. It was small, with some corners and part of the sink and bathtub colored in oxidation thanks to the time. The mirror had some marks on it, along with the flooring having some ruptures. In Levi's mind, he couldn't stop repeating how horrible this place was. Or rather, how disgusting this whole building was.
He ordered [name] to steady himself with the sink while he filled the bathtub with not-too-warm water. Complying with a softĀ okayā!Ā [name] allowed Levi to work, a little embarrassed when he noticed Leviās narrowed eyes glaring at how slowly the water came in. If he was bothered or irritated, he didn't voice it, nor did [name].
In whatever silence they were in, Levi broke it off with a blunt order as he returned to his spot beside [name], taking his collar again. "Take your clothes off."
"UāUh..?! That'sĀ soooĀ straightforward!!" raising his voice, [name] could feel his face getting warmer. "IāI can't do that in front ofĀ youu...!"
"Then should I throw you fully clothed in the water? Or should I undress you myself?"
[Name] felt a little bit of dread at the thought of Levi letting go of him. If he did, [name] didn't trust himself to remain standing.
"O-Okay, okay! Just...Ā pleaseĀ turn around," he said his request with as much gentleness as he could have, eyeing Levi with a pleading look. The ravenette frowned as he stared at the sick idiot for a couple of seconds with cryptic eyes before giving in. Sighing in relief, [name] used Levi's shoulders to steady himself as he undressed clumsily. A few times [name] tightened his grasp on Levi's when tripping with his own clothes, only noticing his strength when the ravenette grunted or let out a remark.
"DāDon't turn around yet! Just... step backwards a little bit,Ā pleease..." Carefully, [name] stepped inside the bathtub with a hum as his skin met the tepid water. It was just then, with water just under his chest as he hugged his legs, that he realized how hot he was. He involuntarily sank his whole body into the water, humming at the now-comforting temperature. He quickly retreated to his original stance when he remembered Levi was waiting for him. "...okay, you can turn around..."
"Finally." Levi took a small stool that was behind the sink and placed it beside the bathtub, sitting down. He rolled up his sleeves and took the shampoo, placing some on his hands.Ā "Close your eyes," he commanded before rubbing the shampoo on [name]'s head, massaging the scalp.
It was actually relaxing on [name]'s part. He thought Levi would be rougher, but his hands were gentle. He could hear himself let out a content hum while his shoulders eased and he rested his chin on his knees.
āBend over a bit.ā Levi asked in a gentle tone this time, taking the soap. Just when [Name] obeyed and Levi was ready to lather him up,Ā he noticed a lengthy burn scar on [Name]ās back, more so on the left side. It didnāt look⦠severe per seā boiled water, perhaps? Levi could tell fire didnāt cause it.
Whoever it was or whatever caused it, Levi continued to bathe [Name] with other thoughts in mind. It seemed the idiot had forgotten, since he didnāt say a thing about his silence.
āSorry youĀ haaveĀ to doĀ aaallĀ of this, Leviā¦ā [Name]ās voice cut his dark thoughts off. āIām veryĀ sorryyy,ā
This time, it was Levi who sighed. āI told you yesterday, didnāt I, idiot? If I donāt do it myself, I will be in a bad mood all fucking day. And I have enough with those shitty glasses at work.ā
[Name] giggled, āaĀ mooore ofĀ bad mood?ā
āDonāt get smart with me.ā Levi warned him, but he didnāt sound hostile.
[name] talked about everything and anything. He looked content even if Levi gave hums or half answers when being asked something. At some point, [name]'s voice got lower and lower, until he fell silent. The ravenette was unsure if he had fallen asleep, but seeing his shoulders go up and down slowly made him sure.
Just seeing him like this, in this godforsaken place, rotting away... made him feel something he didn't want to say out loud. He just felt irritation.
[name] seemed asleep. Before waking him up, Levi gently caressed the scar on his back and wondered the reason for this act of dominance. Confusion, or perhaps anger, danced in his mindānot exactly for the scar per se.
He retreated his touch and got up, speaking louder to wake [name] up.
"Oi. Wake up. You can't sleep yet." As he took a towel, he signaled him to stand up to dry his body. He noticed how groggily the [hair color]-haired stood up, with eyes closing every two seconds and not even complaining about being seen naked this time. Levi quickly wrapped [name]'s body without much of a glance. His arm went around [name]'s waist to guide him out of the bathroom and to his room, as [name] vaguely told him where it was.
Surprisingly, his room wasn't a mess. Everything seemed in order and clean, toĀ Levi'sĀ somehowĀ relief. Levi asked him for clean clothes as he helped [name] sit down on his bed, but [name] was unable to answer because of his sleepy state. The ravenette grunted as heĀ snapped his fingers in front of [name]'s face, making him jump in surprise and barely waking him up.
"Clothes... Ah! Right there, Levi." The ravenette opened the wardrobe and took the first thing he saw, which was another oversized T-shirt with, this time, a picture of a fat cat, and a pair of shorts. He couldn't stop himself from raising his brows in amusement at such choice of designs, almost wanting to make a remark about it. Yet, it wouldn't be as rewarding to see [name]'s groggy state acting stupid like his normal self. He threw the shirt over [name]'s head, the sick completely out of it to even complain about it.
Levi crossed his arms. "Answerāshould I dress you or are you capable?"
"Mhm...? Oh, yeah... IĀ caan..." [name] yawned, lazily taking the shirt. Levi had never seen such clumsiness before as he observed how the idiot missed the biggest entrance for his head to one of the armās. And then he looked pretty content about being trapped in the smallest hole, as if he had done a splendid job.
āYou look stupid.ā That was the only statement Levi could spit out before helping him with the t-shirt. His next objective was the shorts, but [Name] seemed to quickly snap out of his dazed and quickly stutter slurred words Levi couldnāt understand, but could decipher by [Name]ās stupid, embarrassed expression. As always, he asked him to turn around.
āYou need to eat.ā Levi stated as [Name] finished, turning to him once again.
āI want to sleep, Levi.ā The sick idiot tried to lay down on the bed, but Leviās grip on his shirt stopped him.
āBefore that, you will eat.ā
āBut Iām sleepyā¦ā [Name] tried to ācharmā Levi by blinking and staring pathetically. The ravenette narrowed his eyes.
It didnāt work. āBut I donāt care. Get up.ā
All of this felt like Levi was taking care of a child. Or perhaps a cat. A clumsy, useless cat whose life was only to destroy things and be a nuisance.
[Name] complied. Although this time he didnāt try to not be an annoyance, because his body felt heavier and his words didnāt make sense. Levi knew he needed sleep, but he couldnāt let him, still. Or he just didnāt want to. He couldnāt deny that painful, tired face made him feel better.
He instructed [Name] to patiently wait on the couch, since at least he had some mercy on him and didnāt let him wait on the chair while Levi chopped some vegetables for the food.
The sounds of the old TV and the low snores from [Name]ās filled the room, leaving Levi in a barely peaceful moment.
As he put the ingredients into the pot where he had filled it with the soup, he went to sit on the chair while observing [Name], who waited for the food to be ready.
The idiot stayed asleep, with no care or worry about who was with him.Ā Has anyone broken in?Ā Levi wondered.
The lock looked cheap and easy to break, but Levi instantly knew this idiot would open the door before looking, even if he was in his sane mind. A strong lock or a fancier building wouldnāt change that.
If Erwin hadn't taken a liking to him, where would he be? Dead inside a dumpster, maybe. Or perhaps in a job barely making the minimum wage. Or suffering under someoneās orders. Well, it wasnāt as if his situation was any better, in such a filthy place. Erwin had his reasons to hire him, but he didn't share them. What he couldn't hide from Levi was the acts of devotion he had for the assistant; how his blue eyes stared with such... affection? No. Erwin wasn't like that. Something vicoius hide beside that caring-boss facade.Ā
Speaking of that, who was this guy? Levi felt even more disgusted by the place as he took another look around. This whole building was rotting. Either way, Levi could observe [name]ās attempt to āhideā the messāpictures. One with him and friends? Perhaps family; a younger [name] with a dog; another picture of him, a guy looking irritated with a black-haired girl... Pretty ordinary pictures.
There were a few small plants, too. A book on the table beside the couch; keys hanging on the wallāwere those small paintings? Levi could distinguish between what seemed to be the ocean and a sunset; in another painting, there were frogs in a pod.
[Name] was just like he imagined: a mundane person that he wouldn't usually take an interest in. How could he? This clumsy guy was easy to control, easy to overpower, had naive ideas, was dense... Then why this sudden attention? To someone so insignificant? He could understand Erwin's motives and even that four-eyes son of a bitch, but not his own. Levi found this irritable.
Maybe he liked to imagine how he would tangle his fingers between [name]'s hair, seeing his expression of satisfaction only for him to pull and seeĀ thatĀ face of being hurt: that pout, teary eyes, that slight frown meaning that he's going to cry... Or just harshly grab that jaw to hear him squeak once he takes his hand away to see the marks he made on that pretty face.
That faceā¦
Levi narrowed his eyes.
That stupid face.
The reminder of the food interrupted his nightmarish thoughts. He went to check and realized it was ready. Without any permission, he took a bowl from the drawersāwhich didnāt have muchāwhich, particularly, was blue with painted sheep. Levi couldnāt really believe how childish this guy wasāhmn? Was that a mug with painted catsā¦?
Levi served the food. Even when he made lots of noise, the sick idiot didn't even move. The caretaker got in front of him and stared him downā[name] lookedĀ exhausted. His expression wasn't a comfortable one*; his body looked tense, and he was sweating.
He looked disgusting.
āWake up.ā Levi grabbed the front of his shirt with no gentleness.
[Name] barely woke up groggily, with his eyes barely opening and closing. From his mouth came words with no meaning, not even pying attention for the man.
Levi made him sit down while he ignored his pleas for him to stop. āFoodās ready. Wake the hell up.ā
āBuuuut⦠Iām asleepā¦ā
āNow youāre not. Get up.ā [name] resisted. Levi gritted his teeth, and in his eyes reflected an anger that made [name] shiver. āGet the fuck up, or Iāll punch you until you die.ā
āOk, Okay! Iāmm uupā!ā Even with slurred words and a weak mind, he knew Levi didnāt make jokes. The thought of Levi acting like a beast made him gulp.
āHuhā¦ā [name] looked at the table, and then at the couch. āCan I eat on the couchā¦? I donāt want to sit downā¦ā
Levi tightened the grip on his collar. The sounds from the TV werenāt helping his temper much, since an annoying money TV game was on and fueled Leviās annoyance with him.
The caretaker only pulled him forcibly. āNo. You will sit like a civilized, mannered person, not like aĀ pig. You will make a mess if you lay down.ā
[name] didnāt dare say anything else. He sat down, like a good boy, and looked at his food. It looked good, actually. The nice aroma reminded him of the hunger in his stomach, as it immediately growled. [name] took the spoon, ready to eat it all.
But, just as expected, [Name] was unable to even feed himself accordingly. His sloppy movements, thanks to his sudden sleepiness, made him unable to hold the spoon properly, messing up the table and dirtying his face. Levi grunted, disgusted once again and more annoyed.
With a harsh move, he took the spoon from [Name]ās shaky hand, surprising him with it. But before Levi could feed him himself, he took a napkin and, with not much gentleness, cleaned [Name]ās face. Whimpers and soft complaints left [Name], but they went to deaf ears.Ā Just as Levi finished, he clicked his tongue at his own exasperation.
āOpen your mouth. I will feed you like the child you are.ā Levi harshly took [name]'s jaw while he guided the spoon to his mouth. [Name] felt ashamed at first, desperately staring anywhere but Levi's eyes. The ravenette didn't like [name]'s childish behavior, as his grip on his jaw tightened. [name] jumped, opening his mouth with teary eyes. "Why don't you just obey? Always doing what you should not be doing." Levi's never softened his grip, perhaps as a punishment for being disobedient.
This kept going in silence until [name] felt full. A gentle touch on the hand with which Levi gripped his jaw was enough for his caretaker to abruptly stop and glare at him directly. [name]ās body tensed. "I'māI'm full..." The stare he got was enough to make him shiver. Why were there times when he could speak to Levi normally, but in times like this, Levi unnerved him?
It didn't help when he stared like that. And the way he silently got up, took his bowl, and began doing the dishes didnāt help at all. Was he angry? Did he do something wrong?
Well, whatever. He felt sleepy again. The food had helped him feel comfortable, in some way.
āDhankssĀ for the food,Ā Levaaā¦ā His eyelids felt heavy.
A grunt was the only answer. [name] slowly began to drift away, dreams taking his mind. His arms rested on the table, letting his face rest on them. The soft silence from the dishwasher lulled him.
This time, Levi didn't say anything else. Instead, he knew he felt a hand caress his hair before shaking his shoulder, but he could be wrong, after all.
āYou are asleep already.ā Leviās soft voice sounded far away, even if he was next to him. His strong arm wrapped around his waist, guiding him to the bathroom again.
[name] couldn't open his eyes anymore. His body felt automaticāhe just felt Leviās hands on his mouth, brushing his teeth gently. Did he dream all of this, actually?
He didnāt even remember walking to his bed, but he was already under the covers. Leviās hand rested on his forehead, and [name] could barely see his usual frown. The sick idiot couldn't help but close his eyes again, but once he opened them again, something cold was resting on his forehead.
Levi said something, but [name] didn't understand.
āThatĀ feelss gooodā¦ā [name] smiled contently. He chuckled softly. āYou are a great nurse, Mr. Levi.ā
Levi didnāt like that, since he flicked a finger on [name]ās forehead. [Name] whined, the eyes of betrayal stared at Leviās face, who glared back. [Name] pouted.
āNot niceā¦ā
āIām not nice.ā Levi changed the cloth to a colder one, by [name]ās relief.
āYou are.ā He closed his eyes again.
āNot.ā
āJust rough sometimes. But you are nice.ā
Levi didnāt answer, but it was enough for [name] to look content. A frown formed on Leviās face while he sat down beside [name]. He took the mug off the nightstand, which [name] didnāt even notice, and waited for the sick idiot to react. āTake a sip.ā
āWhatāsā¦?ā
āGinger tea. Take. A. Sip.ā
[name] chuckled like an idiot while Levi helped him sit down. Leviās hand on his back and how he helped him take small sips brought him some type of comfort. The feeling of being taken care of was⦠nice, even if he knew Levi didnāt like the whole idea. Any other type of comfort in his life was Porco; he would be lying if he didnāt feel happy having someone so⦠caring and trustworthy around him. Knowing he was away made him sad.
āI⦠donāt waantĀ mooore.ā
Levi stopped without much to say, and left the mug in its previous place. He told [name] not to lay down since he could feel like vomiting again. He changed the cloth again before his hand stayed on his forehead to not let the cloth fall down. [name] opened his eyes tiredly to admire Levi. Well, what else could he do?
Levi sure was a handsome man. Or did he confess that to himself because he was not in his right mind? Well, he didnāt admit that out loudā¦
He felt lightminded; perhaps thatās why he felt bolder to say things.
āYou are scary sometimes.ā Even though the statement wasnāt a positive thing to say, [name] smiled like an idiot. āVeeeeeryĀ scaryā¦ā
Levi narrowed his eyes.
āBuutĀ even scary, you look good!ā
Levi didnāt reactā not openly, at least. āAnd you look dumb, but that doesnāt give you any favors.ā
[Name] chuckled. Levi helped him lay down again.
āIām sleepy.ā
Levi removed the cloth and rested his hand on [name]ās forehead to feel his temperature. [Name] hummed contently as he felt Leviās cold fingers on his warm skin. Without much thought, he gently moved Leviās fingers over his closed eyes. He felt more comfort.
āMigraine?ā Levi asked.
āHmnā¦ā [Name] didnāt have more energy to give a detailed answer.
āI left pills on your nightstand.ā Levi said, āTake some.ā
āNo⦠Iām⦠tiredā¦ā [name]ās eyelids felt heavier, and he couldnāt help closing them.
Levi didnāt like being contradicted, but he kept silent. Perhaps he was tired because of him, or just annoyed. He grunted but didnāt say further. The room fell into silence. Levi stared at [name]ās face, who rested quietly. As he saw nothing else bothering him, he got up and spoke loudly for [name] to hear. [name] opened his eyes tiredly when he got up from the bed.
"It's time for me to go, then." Levi was ready to leave, but he felt something pulling his hand before he began to walk away. He turned his head just to see [name] staring at him with pleading eyes, almost looking like a child scared of the dark.
"Nooo... don't leave me, please," he pleaded. "Stay with me..."
"I can't. Go to sleep."
"But, Levi, I'm scared of being alone... Please, just stay with me this time, prettyĀ prettyĀ please?"
Levi stared, again. With holding hands still, [name] blinked slowly with his long eyelashes, making his plea more "captivating.ā Levi wanted to punch his face.
āNo.ā
āPretty pleasseā¦ā [name] tightened the grip on his hand.
Levi actually thought about it this time. Perhaps [name] was going to fall asleep, since he looked too tired. āFive minutes.ā He answered before sitting down again in the same place, while ignoring how content and happy [name] stupidly looked. Silence filled the room again, but speaking wasnāt necessary for both of them this time.
After such peace, the phone rang. [Name] grunted at the interruption of his sleep, but quickly took the phone before missing the call. The frown that was plastered on his face changed to a soft smile as he answered. Levi narrowed his eyes at such change.
āHi, Vincent.ā [name] replied. āIām good. Thank you for calling.ā
What a goodĀ friend.
āItās fine. Actually, Levi came toāā
Levi snitched the phone out of his hands. Vincentās voice only fueled his irritation, as his worried questions were heard from the other line.
āWhat aĀ nice,Ā worriedĀ friend you are, Mr.Ā Guard.ā
Vincent didnāt answer at first. āMr. Ackerman, good afternoon.ā
Levi could notice Vincentās change of tone. Well, the feeling was mutual.
āNo need for suchĀ cuteĀ calls for your boyfriend.ā
āIf Iām worried about him, then Iāll call.ā
Levi gritted his teeth. *ā*How daring.ā
Levi noticed Vincent was going to make a remark, but he shut himself up before spitting it. The ravenette smirked slightly. At least such guard knew who he was talking to. Due to the lack of an answer, Levi kept speaking.
āYou asked, he answered. This is all youāll get.ā
Vincent seemed to rile himself up. "He doesnātāā But Levi hung up before Vincent could finish. He slammed the phone with such force, that made [name] jump at the noise.
Levi stared knives at the phone, not paying attention to [name]ās stare.
āYou donāt like Vincent.ā [name] looked at him timidly, speaking softly. Levi did look furious at the callā but [name] was sure Vincent wasnāt the type of person to look for problems. What did make Levi so angry?
āIs that a problem for you?ā
[name] frowned. It⦠wasnāt a problem, but he didnāt like seeing his friendā or confidant? being treated so harshly. He knew Levi could see that, but he knew how Levi acted. The people in the asylum could be really⦠spiteful. Either way, the reflective thoughts only soothed himāhe was more than tired. Levi waited, but the question was left unanswered. Instead, it was met with soft snores coming from the idiot.
He had fallen asleep at last.
Levi glared at himāhow could he be sleeping so comfortably with him in the room? Leci here, acting like aĀ good guyĀ only fueled his anger. There had to be a reward for this absurdity. He didnāt comprehend his own feelingsātheir meaning. After all, he hadnāt needed them in a long time, if ever. [name] made him repulsed by such foolish emotions.
How bitter you are.
[Name] didnāt mean to last in that place, but Erwin and four eyes sought any ways to protect him from all evil. Even so, they themselves were worse than the subjects. Levi laughed bitterly internally every time one of them couldnāt hide their desire to possess such a good-for-nothing assistant. He couldnāt understand wholly, but now he saw why. But ālikingā him? It wasnāt that. It was something else, but Levi still couldnāt comprehend. He should, soon enough.
Levi glanced at [name], waiting for the moment to move.
And, just when he noticed [Name] fell into a deep slumber, the devil returned.
Levi couldn't stop himself. There was just thisĀ urge.
Shifting his body slowly to not interrupt his companion's sleep, facing him. He stared at [name]'s body; how his chest moved according to his breathing, how his lips slightly opened as gentle, barely audible snores came out of his mouthāhis long eyelashes, his relaxed, cute expression... only forĀ himĀ toĀ see.
Levi's hand slowly moves under [name]'s shirt, gently caressing his warm stomach. He moved his touch on [name]'s waist this time, grabbing and squeezing part of the flesh not too harshly. The ravenette waited for a response, but just as he was met with silence, he continued his secret exploration in quietness. This time, he rested his head on the crock of [name]'s neck, smelling his scent. His hand explored the flesh a bit more daringly, slowly crawling his way to reach [name]'s chest, the tips of his fingers exploring the flesh cautiously.
This time [name] whimpered softly, his body shivering for one second. The ravenette waited for any other reaction or complaint, but [name] remained in his slumber with a troubled expression adorning his face.
Levi smirked.
What a reward.
I'm in love with Reiss Mental Asylum! Keep doin what ur doin :)šš
Thank you so much!!! ššš i appreciate it a lot!
updates are soo slow and Iām sorry about that ): i hope i can get my unmotivated ass to write regularly! š
ćmale/gn!reader fanfiction ā mostly attack on titan ćhiatus ; reqs into consideration Ł©( 'Ļ' )ŁŁ©( 'Ļ' )Łenglish's not my first language, expect trash, self-indulgent writing ā24
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