Ahh I Just Wanted To Say That I Love Your Writing Especially Your Asylum Series, Your Writing Is So Pretty

Ahh I just wanted to say that I love your writing especially your asylum series, your writing is so pretty and soft (If that even makes sense) it makes me smile everytime I read it! Keep up the good work ❤❤❤🖤🖤

awww thank you very much!! this means a lot to me ;D i know it has it's flaws, but im so happy you seem to like my writing! 💖 again, thank you! ♡

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5 years ago

hey, i love flower curse and i'm currently on chapter 5 so far... but i noticed that your works arent really getting that much recognition :,( i have a few suggestions to get more notes?? but only if you're interested in hearing them :0 otherwise, just wanted to tell you your writing is fantastic :)))

omg thank you so much! you are really kind.sure! i really im not familiarized with posting on tumblr, so any advice is appreciated! :Dagain, thank you so much, i’m happy you are enjoying flower curse! <3


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1 year ago

Child of the sun, come back

[ascended!astarion x gn!spawn!reader]

You had colorful memories, once: vivid flower fields, triumph smiles, faces that gave you comfort. But now, images of curtains with the sun behind blurred your mind, leaving darkness where color had been, once.

1122words / one shot / angst

note: after years of not writing anything, baldurs gate has inspired me to write just a little bit. ascended astarion has some good angst around him and i love it

There were days spent in the hollow main room, where the curtains protected your being from becoming dust. A lonely chair in front of the window, where just a peek welcomed a ray of the sun to meet the cold room. You just admired it quietly, desiring it to meet your flesh once more; to take you back to who you once were.

Astarion had said something once. He had stayed, observing silently, as if you were going to open the curtains and kiss the sun, leaving to another limbo. You knew it wasn't because he was scared, but everytime you came here, he appeared. Standing near the door where the darkness was, as if he were hiding from the rays of sunlight. He had yearned for them, once. Perhaps its familiarity had bored him.

But then, that company left, and the sun stayed.

“I don't know what's inside that head of yours, darling.”

He could know, but he chose not to.

Quietly watching as you hug your legs, your gaze peeking behind your knees. A ray almost looking magical, sacred. A plea to be touched.

Come back to me, child of the sun.

Child of the sun… you were, once. Someone had called you that, once. Who? You wondered—always did.

Sometimes you caught yourself forgetting memories; where once there were faces with prideful smiles, now rest the images of curtains, and that face, almost proudly, looking back at you with a high face.

Then, you hear it: a melody. Maybe inside your head, but it has been a long time since satisfying music passed through your ears. Closing your eyes, your head moves slightly with the rhythm. This palace had always been silent.

You stood up. Your legs moved by themselves—a curious thing, feeling as if something controlled you. Your hands dance delicately. This time, is enjoyable.

Someone taught you how to dance, once. A warm hand guided your clumsy steps to a magnificent piece. Warm compliments to keep you going. You had fun—you remembered that.

You danced, once. With who?

“You are dancing.”

You stopped, paying full attention to him. The room seemed darker.

“I was.”

Astarion just stared. Observing was one of his favorite pastimes all this eternity. Arms behind him, trying to interpret your curious actions. But then, he holds his hand for you to take.

“Dance with me.” This time it doesn't feel like a command—a request, perhaps. Either way, it required your obedience.

You accepted it, and in an instant, he had a grip on you—his left arm around your waist, his right hand taking your hand higher. A close proximity you expected. This Astarion loved touch—to be close. Weirdly, this grip was soft.

And then, he moved. You are confused by the dance—what was his intention? Slower? Faster? Your clumsiness appeared once more by almost falling, but the vampire’s hands kept you in place. The soft chuckle from Astarion fills your ears, and you feel something you hadn't felt lately—embarrassment.

When was the last time you felt anything, anyway?

“Why the rush, my dear? We just began.” He guided you. Back perfectly still, shoulders impeccably aligned, head high, with eyes staring back at you with a gentleness you didn't recognize. His true intentions were unknown to you. When those scarlet eyes held such tenderness just for you in this present, you didn't know if they were real, or if the meaning behind them was something completely different.

Either way, this mystery game tired you and holds no meaning anymore. Resting your head on his chest, the melody that once was, dissolved, leaving you in a cold silence. The curtains blocked the sun, and the rays of light weren’t as strong as before. Were they afraid, of the dark in the room?

“I was a child of the sun, once.” You muttered more to yourself than to him.

“You were, once.” A different grip—tighter, afraid to let go; or, maybe, caging you to not break the connection. But was it a connection when one line was severed? When the other side was unresponsive?

There was no answer when his response was final. A tone that you use with a child when they should not question further. You are happy without divulging. Ignorance is a bliss. Stay with me. Why do you even think of leaving?

“This is what you wanted—to stay with me.” He reassured, whispering over your ear as he pressed your bodies together.

“Of course I did.” An instant answer. To you, it is a justification for your predicament. To him, it is a decision you made for love. A meaning that both sides had something in common: to stay beside each other for eternity, even if the concept of love was morphed according to whom the person is.

Then, he stopped, and so did you. Opening your eyes, you looked at him, only to see unusual fragility in that crimson. The dance already forgotten; his hand moved to grip your jaw, leaving a gentle kiss. Your eyes flickered to the hidden windows—slightly opened, letting the curtains dance, too.

Strange tenderness. There’s nothing.

He broke the one-sided connection. Crimson eyes wandered your face. “Your meal is soon. I advise you to get ready, my love.” He doesn't leave. He needs an answer.

“Of course.” The response satisfied him, as he freed your jaw from his grip. He takes backwards steps with his arms on his back, observing again. You took the chance to study him, too—exactly the same as you can remember. Curled soft hair, as white as snow; stance looking proudly, But that face…

“I’ll wait for you.”

“Yes.”

Unfortunately, such embrace almost meant nothing. A chore, perhaps; or maybe, a burden only a puppet can keep on doing. The cruelty of it all left hollowness, and even the memories had left you.

The rays of light seemed to exist again once his presence was gone. There's warmth once the sun remembers you, calling what was before your name. To come back to them.

You had a name, back then. Your friends called your name, once. They didn’t erase it. They didn’t call you things you weren't.

The memories belong to the curtains. What you once were, belongs to them now.

You had a reflection. You had warmth. You had mortality. You had the sun. You had him. You had—

You opened the curtain.

The window had no reflection for you.

But it had such a loving embrace you didn’t have in many years.

You came back to me, child of the sun.


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1 year ago

Are you still working on your Attack On Titan stories? Or are they discontinued? Sorry if I’m bothering you I noticed that you’ve been posting a bit. I hope you have a nice day and take care of yourself!

hi, anon! im trying to work on reiss asylum for the moment... very slowly, but making some progress.

and don't worry! these asks are not a bother <3 thank you for reaching out and i wish i could be a more competent writer LOL. but writing hasn't come to me as it used to.

thank you and i hope you are doing well aswell!!


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4 years ago

e m p t y / 13

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

image

chapter twelve

someone else

"[Name]! Wake up already!" Eren’s voice is the first thing [Name] hears, right on his ear. His friend moves him and pushes him around, trying to wake him up. The sleepy boy only gets irritated by the harsh movement, punching the brunette away from him. “H–Hey! That hurt!”

”Go away,” is the only thing [Name] can say before hiding his face on his pillow and sleep again. Unfortunately for him, his friend doesn’t give up. Eren tightens his hold on [Name]’s shirt and makes him sit by force, making the sleepy boy a little dizzy by the sudden movement.

”There you go!” He grins, “Marco advised me to lay your clothes here, so hurry and change! I’ll be right back.” He stands in the same spot, looking at [Name]’s cute sleepy state for some time before leaving.

The [hair color] haired is not awake, clearly. His eyes close and open every second, and he can’t sit still. Luckily, all the noise around of everyone talking, yelling makes him not fall asleep again.

[Name] undresses so lazily it almost looks like hes doing it asleep— almost even falling. Somehow he gets poorly dressed, and doesn't even try to tighten the straps around his legs correctly. His hair is a mess, his shirt is a mess, he’s drooling and he’s almost going to fall asleep again. But luckily, a blond passing trough sees his trouble.

"Need help?" [Name] slowly tilts his head and looks at him, trying to recognize him. Reiner can notice he is half-asleep still, and he can't stop a chuckle from seeing his sleepy state. "Damn, I think you are worse than Bertolt."

[Name] just stares a the blond kneeling and tightening his straps, "is as if... they don't want me to wake up,” he says in a whisper, yawning without care.

Blinking, Reiner stops his actions to understand what he means.  What he said came out of nowhere, and it was a couple of seconds what Reiner needed to understand. "They...?"

The [hair color] haired blinks, "I dreamed something important... but I forgot about it...”

[Name] stands up as he sees the blond finished, but Reiner can see his buttoned shirt is horribly done. "Here, you didn't button them right." The blond’s hands brushes against [Name]’s naked skin, making him flinch. The touch makes the taller teenager blush, but fortunately what happened before in training changed his semblance to change the topic, "ah, about what you said before..."

[Name] blinked, slightly tilting his head. "what?"

The blond blinks blankly, his mouth gaping. "In the forest, when we were doing our first practice with the gear," Reiner explains, "don't you remember?"

[Name] rubs his left eye without much care, "I didn't say anything— I just left...?"

"But you said—" He blinks, not fully believing him. But seeing [name]'s clueless expression makes him not say anything and leave things be, "...I guess I just imagined it, uh? It's nothing, then."

"If you say so." [Name] notices Reiner’s hands were frozen buttoning his shirt, and just stares at him curiously. “Are you alright?”

”Uh— yeah, sure. I was just...” he shows a grin, “trying not to lose my mind.”

”Uh?” [Name] takes Reiner’s left hand, seeing a small cut, “what’s this?”

The tall boy had to blink a couple of times to remember. ”Got a little trouble getting the hang of the gear. Nothing to worry about— or are you my cute nurse?” The blond tried to play it off— to try and have an embarrassing reaction out of [Name]. He expected the boy to yell at him or embarrass him— but what he got made him feel shy.

[Name] took his hand and kissed the small cut with his soft lips— as they were besides a window, the rays of the sun hit his gentle face, his hair... he seemed like a divinity— with those exotic eyes only Reiner could see with that spark, along with that kind smile; an expression so gentle Reiner thought [Name] never wore before.

”My mom told me kisses were a great medicine. Hope it works.” He rubs his hand gently, before letting go.

The taller teenager coughs, trying to hide his blush behind his hand. His eyes traveled around the barracks, being sure there were no prying eyes in their situation. “Well, well, I don’t have to worry anymore about my mistakes, then. I know where to go when I get injured.”

[Name] tilts his head. ”Did it work?”

”Of course it did— see? It seems to fade away.”

”[Name]!!!” Eren’s loud voice is heard coming near, but seeing the close proximity of the two stops with a suspicious glare, “ah? What’s up?”

”Reiner was helping me with my shirt— I’m too sleepy.” [Name] spoke with a big yawn, blinking lazily at his childhood friend.

The brunette frowns, not pleased by that answer. ”If you needed help why didn’t you tell me?!”

”I don’t know where you were. Reiner was nearer.” [Name] glared at Eren, who shut up seeing his harsh gaze. The blond clearly noticed the dominance, pretty surprised [Name] could have such effect on Eren. Reiner smirked.

”What’s this? Are you two together or something? Eren, you look like the clingy boyfriend in the relationship."

[Name] blinks, unsure of what he means. ”Together...?”

”Ah?! What’s with that?!” Eren blushed, clinching his fist, "that's none of your business, Reiner!"

"What? Man, I hoped after I helped you I would be given at least a little of gratitude."

"What if we are, uh?! Is that a problem!!!"

"Wow there, I didn't expect you to actually saying something like that," the blond laughs amused, “well, I can't say [Name] isn't cute, because he is." He plays with [Name]'s messy hair with a smirk, the other just watching the two with a confused stare.

"Hey! What are you getting at!?" The brunette frowns with the action— he didn't know why, but just seeing Reiner touching [Name] so carelessly touched a nerve.

[Name] dozed off, trying not to hear their voices anymore. The only thing he wants is to sleep— he doesn’t want to do anything else. Just thinking about another practice makes him whine. He misses his days with his mom.

Slowly and without the notice of the two, [Name] closed his eyes, still sitting on the bed awkwardly. His slow breathing and tiredness allows him to fall asleep so quickly, and it’s a miracle he sits still on the bed without falling.

”Come on– tell me! Has anybody ever kissed him?”

”Of course not!! Right, [Name]?!” Eren turns to get an answer, but his frown changes into confusion as he sees [Name]’s state. “[Name]?”

The blond catches his state too, noticing his sleeping state, “well, somebody will have to kiss the prince out of his curse.”

Eren glared at Reiner.

 ___________________

 ”I can fucking believe this— no way. Fuck Eren AND Reiner?! Really?!”

”Uh... Are you alright?” The freckled boy chuckles nervously, seeing his friend’s anger showing. "You seem... pretty angry...?"

Surprisingly, [Name] training hand in hand combat was much easier since the beginning. As his first practice with the ODM was a failure, plenty of his friends thought he wasn't that qualified at first. But Armin, Eren, Mikasa and Jean knew otherwise.

Unfortunately the way his new friends knew about it was with a good beating Reiner received.

"I'm going to be easy on you, [Name]. Does it sounds good?” Reiner smirked, passing the wooden knife to his hands. Seeing [Name]’s attitude and how lazy he was today, he decided to not be too harsh on him.

[Name] couldn’t care less about his kindness. He already liked this training — even if it didn’t even counted for their ranking, it wasn’t much trouble. Reiner could be bigger, but that didn’t matter. "If you are that considerate.”

When it came to fight, [Name] didn't even think how, he just did it. It was as if his body was being controlled by someone else— he just let his thought at ease and go with the flow. It was weird, but the boy often thought that was his older self waking up, if that made sense.

  Ṱ̴̨̱̙͖̠͖͙̣̲̫͂ͅXi̵̢̨̘͈̦͇͎͔͕̤̦͐̆͊ͅ!ş̴̖̰̩̯͋͛̓̀̂͌̑̂͒̇̕ ̷̛̮͓̙̹̪̮͎̈̋̆̐̿͑x$ë̵̢͎̻̞̬̣͔́̍̐̏͗͌͗̒̚͠͝ͅ ̶̡̟̺̍͐̊̈́̍̋̚ͅd̵͇̾͂͆͆́̔͊̏͋̉̌̒̚̕ę̵̛̰̲̣̋̍̽̔͆̽̋̑̆͌͘̕ͅs̶̥͈̈͑̇̐̔̓̚ẽ̷͚̄̋͊̌̊̅͝ͅr̵̳̙͔̳̅̏̓͒v̶̛̜̈e̵̳̹͍̽̄̒̈͌͌̓̋͑̄̃̔͆͊̀ş̶͔̤̹̬̽͋̾̒̂̇͑̈́ ̷͚̤͔̲͔̞͇͙̖̼̈̈̓ä̸̠̳̯́̆̈̊̓̏͒̔̈́̀́͗̉͝ ̸̧͙͍̫̖͍̖̖̟̖̺̰̞͕̅͂̌͐̋̾̇͐̃̽b̵̧̭͚̬̗͈̲͖̤͈̤͙̪͕̈́̔͊̑̀͝͠ͅe̴̞̫̫̾̍̐̊̈́͒̉̔̎̌͜͜͠͝ä̶̧̡̨͚͙͇̖̤̝͎̖̼̝͑͌͆̉̄͗͌ţ̵̢̛̣̣̗͉̜̤̦̼̼̯͌̆͐̃͋͐̽̃̄͂̈́̕̕͝ỉ̷̡̢̛͈͖̝̻͍͖̦͂̋̉̈́̆̿̄̚ṋ̶̺̤̮̬̫͔͖̏̽̃g̵̡̟̦͍̯̳̺͓͋̆̇̽̈́͠.̸̲̝̻̞̻̤̯̆̈́͂̈̔̀͒̍̆̈́͝ ̸̢̧̭̬̙̜̫̭͈̂̏̈͗̑͛̋̓̌͐̋̒͝L̷̡͖͗̓̇͐͊̓́̂͑͒̅̚̕͝e̴̺̻̮̞͐̇̈́̋̃̽͝t̸̨̥̩͚̟̊̑ ̷̡͕̰͉͎͎̝̠̹̳͕͇̓̎͊̏͠ͅḿ̸̢̲̫̺̙̀͑̑̔͆͐̿͋̃̋̂̈́̃̍ȩ̵̩͕̺̗̲̤̯͖̖̗̼͎̹̈̎ ̴͈̼͕̻̝͚͌͆̿̍̉͗̓͘͝ḧ̷͎̖͙̝́̅̃͗̓̂͜a̴̡̡̨͖̬̱̝̟̓́̌͐͛͛͝n̷̟̪̩͖̊̃d̸̡̡̻̘͎̰͍͈͌́̓̇̿̓̆̾̄̓̅͒̕ļ̷̨͙͇̮̩̮̆ͅę̸̧̡̰̟̭̺̙͙̹̞͚͉̈́̐́̚ͅ ̶̛͓̽̌̉̒̂̎̾͌̏̿̈͝i̵̡̫̳̭̟͚̰̖͔͠t̸̻͚̣̺͍̗̻͈̣̳͓̬̍̈͌̈́̈́̑̌̃̑͆̋͆́͝.̵̹͍̻̳̝͚̱͗̀̊̎̓̿͗͠

 The blond charged forward, trying to fake stabbing [Name] in the stomach without much plan. [Name] immediately hugged the arm with the knife, turning his back on Reiner and without much trouble throwing the blond’s body on the ground harshly. He took Reiner’s arm and placed his boot on his back, and just pulling a little he could hear the blond’s whimpers and defeat statements.

”Okay, okay! That’s what I get for being considerate?!”

”Yes,” he let go off his arm, helping him stand and dusting him off. “What if you take this more seriously from now?”

Reiner, who carefully looked at [Name], realized he did know about how to fight. Stretching, he smirked, feeling confident. “Alright then, I  guess I stop playing nice. But don’t cry and yell about getting a chance, uh?”

”I can say the same for you.” [Name] smirked.

Every time Reiner tried to attack [Name], it was a failure. The amnesiac never received damage— in fact, he noticed he reflected it, if that made sense. For example, Reiner tried to throw a punch, but [Name] always was a step ahead of him— he denied the hit by changing it’s direction with his wrist or his fist, not receiving the damage but evading it. It was the first time Reiner saw a technique like that.

Unfortunately for him, he got his ass kicked every round. [Name] didn’t seem to forget their promise about not giving chances, and even Reiner could say the lazy cadet was enjoying his defeat. [Name] didn’t even seemed to be tired after the many rounds they had, but maybe it was because Reiner was the one always getting his ass kicked.

 ______________

Armin watched in amazement, forgetting his own practice with Bertolt, "that's different when we were kids..."

The taller blinked, his eyes catching Reiner’s practice. The blond was face-planted on the ground, trying to get free from [Name]’s hold. "Uh? How so?"

The petite looks intently, choosing his words. "[Name] was... much harder before. But I guess that was because we were children and didn't know better," it was true— or maybe it was  because the victims of his attacks where Armin’s bullies, and [Name] hated them a lot, "even so, he doesn't look too much aggressive now."

"Harder...?" The taller can see [Name] is not holding back— or maybe Reiner is exaggerating? Nevertheless, [Name]’s technique looks clean and very defensive-like.

"Ah. He broke one's kid nose one time. Oh! and also, he made throw up another kid too and made him eat it.” Armin answered without trouble, not caring that much about how horrible that must have sounded.

Beetolt’s eyes widened, a little horrified by the brutality. [Name] didn’t look... as harsh as that. His past thoughts about imagining him as a kitten was now gone. He couldn’t properly imagine him in a scenario like that, but with Reiner easily being handled to the ground made him think it was possible. "Just... how much force did he have...?"

"A lot,” Armin chuckles a little, “Eren fought with him a lot and well... he can tell you how much it hurt, hehe..."

  ____________________

"W-Wait, [Name]! I surrender! I SURRENDER!"

"But this was just the beginning..." [Name] says with a pout, twisting Reiner's arm, "does it hurt?"

"Of course it does! I didn't think you would have this much force!”

"A kiss can make it better, if you want." He hugs the arm, rubbing his face on it while looking at Reiner with a twisted stare and a sick smile. The blonde can help but to gulp and blush by such hard look— he almost looked at him with playfulness. His eyes were so much different— Reiner felt he was looking at someone else. Now that he noticed, [Name]'s eyes had changed into a different color— but just as he was carefully looking at them [Name] blinked, as if he was waking from a daze. "Ah, sorry, Reiner," he lets go of the blond's arm, helping him stand with a much different manner.

”Did I hurt you?” [Name] asks, frowning as he passed a hand over his temples.

The blond blinks, trying to connect the dots of the unusual behavior. This was just like yesterday in the forest— that weird glint in his eyes... as if he wasn't [Name] no more. ”Uh, no, it’s fine.”

”Should I kiss it?”

Reiner laughs, trying to have fun, “now that I think about it... I think I got a bruise right here...” he points his cheek, and [Name] can see a scratch. Unbothered, [Name] pecks it, standing on his tiptoes. Reiner smirks, catching the glare both Jean and Eren gave in the distance.

The blond sees Annie passing with a bored look on her face trough the training grounds. [Name] waves at her with a ‘hi Annie’.

Reiner got an idea. “Annie! Good to see you again doing absolutely nothing!”

”Hmn? I see you want another round, Reiner.” Annie spoke with her cold voice, glaring at the taller as she got nearer.

”Not me! I heard [Name] saying he wanted to try you!” He places his hand on [Name]’s shoulders, making him closer to the girl as he hides behind him.

”...?” [Name] looks at him in confusion, knowing very well he didn’t say anything related to that.

”is that so?” The cold girl didn’t even waited for a confirmation— she just went straight to business. She had shifted in her fight stance.

Well, this didn’t sound so bad. [Name] blinked, hearing Reiner saying good luck as he left his side.

  F̸̛͔̰̕i̶̲͔̩̥͔̫̭̗̯̼̓́̒̿̓̊̿͗͘n̶̝̪̯̳̮̼̿̀̒͑̂̔̕͜ͅa̷̫͒́͑̌̈͘̕͝l̷̤̽̉̈́͗̽̄̔̍͘l̸̛͈̍̎͆̽̏͊̎̓̚͘͠y̸̢̼͙̜̠̬̘̘̟̲̮̫̟͍̏̇͋̔͂̀͐̏͆͒̐̊͐͝ ̶̛̳͓̩̱͒͊̉̊̉̿̾͆̾̍̌͝s̴̺̳̻͍̮͈̈́͘͜ȯ̷̧̠̹̝̩͍̹́m̵̢̯̱͍̬̰̘͕̝̆̽̾̓͑̔̕͝ě̶̖͔̘̙̙̾͐̕͜͝o̸̢͉̾̈̅̌̈́́́͋̏̓̿̂̂͗͠n̵̡̡̙̪͇̲͕̙̖̩̯͓̳̘̬̈̍̑̂e̷̡̛̼̹͚̼͕͉̪͆͂̊͊̆̈́̇̈̓̾̌͋̐̕ ̸̢͚̤͙̳͈̌̃̓̍̈́̏̀̏̀̎̋͗͜͝ͅc̶̢̺͚͚̗͔̤̓͂̾͊̒̀̈̐́å̴̡̢̲̫̥͙͕͎̫̯̬̰̱͚͛̊̊̎̔̃̔p̸̛̣̝͉̞̤̙̫̪͔̺͖̤̳̭̔͐̿̓͌͐̐̾̍̃̚ͅá̷̝͎̻̄b̸̛͉͉̼͖̰͊̚ḷ̵̨̮̹̝̈̑͑͗͐̑̚ě̶̡̨̨̙͍͉͇͎͚̞̗̹̀̅̋͂͊͜.̵̡̦͚̠͖́͋̊̇͛́̏͊͜

 [Name] shifted in his own, carefully looking at her. It somehow was clear to him she went all way in— her stance gave it away.

How come I know that?

The blonde girl moved first, lifting her leg to kick him. [Name] backed away quickly, missing the attack by inches. He doesn’t have to wait for the upcoming move— Annie throws a punch, [Name] deflects it with his wrist, switching the hit’s target. Seeing the opportunity, she quickly takes his elbow and harshly pushes the side of his face. [Name] knows her next move, and as just as he’s falling by the kick, he supports himself with his arm and gives a kick at the side of her ankles, making her almost trip. That’s enough time to allow him stand up again.

Annie returned to her stance, and just as in the beginning, tried to kick him— but this time [Name] saw it as an opening. This time he didn’t need to back off— he lowered his body just under her leg just in time, at the same time he threw a kick at the side of her knee. The attack had forced her to fall, by the surprise of everyone and her’s included. 

Watching her first was a good choice. That kick had to be timed right seeing Annie’s speed— one second less and his head would have been in a much worse state. [Name] couldn't explain his own reflexes and instincts guiding him— but it paid off nevertheless.

Something changed. Annie thoughts.

[Name]? throws the forgotten knife, stabbing it at the side of her head in the ground. There’s a cryptic glint on [Name]’s? eyes, along with a playful smile. He speaks in a different tone, clearly enjoying his victory. “You are dead.”

Annie gets up with a glare specially for him. Taking the knife, the cold girl tries to get her arms around his neck to make him fall, but [Name]? gets his arms under her to push her, effectively throwing her back. She doesn’t fall, but gets more aggressive in her attempts. She gives another quick kick, but [Name]? ducks and throws another kick against her leg, making her fall much harder onto the ground this time. He has a grin on his face, “twice.”

It’s clear Annie is irritated about his playful behavior— why is he smiling like that? Nevertheless about it, the blonde can actually say this was a nice fight for once. 

She sees how [Name] places a hand on his temples, rubbing them with his eyes tightly shut. Annie carefully looks at him as she stands up, dusting herself off. The amnesiac slowly opens his eyes, looking at her with much different eyes.

”Hope we can do it another time,” His voice is different, she notices. Narrowing her cold eyes, she can tell something is different about him— the near description she could tell was as if he became someone else entirely.

 She looks at [Name] then at Reiner, who was looking at the whole fight with careful eyes. She changes her gaze at [Name] again, shrugging her shoulders, “sure.”

Before she could leave tough, Annie turns to Reiner, ”Now, Reiner, I heard [Name] say you wanted another round.”

The blond instantly freezes in fright, not wanting to relieve that defeat. ”What?! That’s a lie!”

”[Name] doesn’t tell lies.”

Reiner was once again getting his ass kicked. [Name] couldn’t hold his laughter by seeing such absurd posture.

 ”What the hell is everyone doing?! Get back to training!” The instructor shouted, “change partners now that you are at it!”

 Neither of [Name] nor Jean took attention when they exchanged partners— just as they saw each other was when things got awkward.

”Hi, Jean,” [Name] was unsure on how to approach— he wasn’t good at fixing things. Even worse when he didn’t know what he  did wrong.

”...Hey,” Jean responded with a sigh, playing with the wooden knife. His face showed everything he was feeling— it was awkward, even more with the silence behind them.

Neither did anything else but evade seeing each other, but the amnesiac boy didn't want things to go like this. If he didn't know what he did wrong, then the only thing he could do was ask. Jean was angry for something he did— he realized that.

With a soft and curious tone, [name] looking at Jean a little timid, "did I do something wrong yesterday?"

He noticed Jean tightened his grip on the knife. Sighed exasperatedly, Jean still didn't look at him as he would wanted, but at least [name] got a motive of his anger. ”You can’t just... kiss everybody like nothing happens!”

So that was the problem? [Name]'s shyness went away when hearing such... motive. In fact, he was a little irritated by the reason. ”Why not?”

”Because—“ because what? It was wrong viewed? People would call him names? Would they think something else? Why was it wrong? He knew [Name] and him didn't had the same thoughts or opinions of things, but [name] should know kissing everybody wasn't something he should be doing. “Because a kiss means a lot to people— you can’t kiss everybody as a ‘friend’— that's not how it works.”

[Name] tilts his head. ”How come a kiss has one meaning?”

”Don’t get philosophical with me,” Jean said with a frown, “if you keep kissing everyone in public people will look at you being a weirdo, so don’t.”

”A weirdo...? But neither Reiner nor Eren tell me it’s weird...” He places his finger on his lips, wondering.

Sighing exasperated, Jean’s left eye twitched in annoyance by such statement, “because they are some dumbasses that—“ he stops himself there, “—they are weirdos, specially Eren.”

”How come?”

”He just is!”

“But Jean, no one has told me they don't like it. What do you mean?”

”That’s why I’m telling you before they do!” he rubs his temples, "they could be thinking for more, jeez!"

”Me kissing you makes you angry...?” [Name] unconsciously touched his lips, a frown showing.

Jean's confidence flatters, getting taken aback from the question. ”Yes— No— I mean—!” He sighed, “I don’t hate them. I...” he looks at the side,  blushing, “like them, okay?!” It's not that he hated them— he secretly loved them, but it was a thought nobody would know about. He could have [name] know, but since he didn't feel the same thing Jean felt for him, that was out of the question.

”Then why do you punch me away?”

“I told you– the others can see and look at us weird!”

”Do you care that much about what others think...?” [Name] wondered. He didn’t think about others opinions about him or what he did— he just... did everything he wanted without much thought. Was it wrong? Nothing had happened to him so far...

“It’s not that— ugh...” he sighs, “you are too careless. I’m telling you this right now: not everyone deserves to be kissed. You don’t know who is a weirdo. Imagine if someone took advantage of you by asking for more!"

”Advantage...”

”Exactly. You don’t know when somebody will ask you more than a kiss, and I cannot let that happen.”

“Is asking for more that bad?”

Jean blushed a little. Did [Name] really know nothing about this topic? Was he this clueless? Beatrice had to explain at least something about this— the woman should’ve, right? He was a teenager, for godsake! And teenagers are always thinking about the same stuff at least once in their short lives! Didn’t [Name] ever think about that type of stuff...?

"[Name], you know... when we talked about that..!"

"Oh, that. That when you talk about it your face goes red. That kind of conversation, that," [name] tilted his head, "...I don't think much about it."

"O-Okay! How else I should react anyways?! Ugh—! Just-- you know what to do when you don't want to do something like that, do you? If you mistake other's people purpose—!"

"I know. I punch them in the face-- but I only kiss people I like, Jean. Like you," he stared in gentleness at Jean, who only blurred words came out of his mouth, red creeping his face by the sudden declarations. But before he could answer, Shadis approached menacingly, shouting at them with a dead glare.”What the hell are you two doing?! You are standing there like idiots! Get back into training before I make you clean the entire place!”

”Y—Yes sir!”

_____________

Eren didn’t look pleased when he told him he was going to sit with Jean and Marco. The brunette gave away his displeasure with a frown, speaking with an irritated tone to him. To not make things worse, Armin, as being the sweetheart he was, smiled at him and told him to not worry about it that much. Just for that he won a kiss on the nose, making Eren yell why he didn’t receive one.

Already at Jean’s table, everything was going smoothly. But, for some strange reason, Jean spoke so loudly out of nowhere— It was an evident change to [Name]’s ears, making the boy narrow his eyes at him in suspicion.

”By manipulating your inertia like that, you’ll be able to spend less gas than usual,” he bragged to Marco, moving his hands while he talked.

”You make it sound easy...”

”Well, I don’t think that’s something everyone can do, you know?” [Name] notices Jean glances at Eren’s table, and it’s then that the boy can understand Jean’s purpose, “tough there’s nothing to lose if you keep that in mind. Especially if you want to enlist to the Military Police.”

Marco smiles dreamily, “it would be nice if I could... There’s no greater honor than to be able to work under the king, don’t you think so, [Name]?”

To [Name], the king was a faceless man he couldn’t care less about— unfortunately, Beatrice had told him to mind his mouth when talking about the powerful man around other people. The amnesiac boy couldn’t understand Marco’s dream to work under such a man who tried to cage all of them for eternity, but what he could understand from his books about royalty novels was that working and protecting a good king who cared about his people was a great honor. And this king had none.

”Not really.” He answered quietly, taking a sip from his drink.

”Don’t lie and say what you really think, Marco,” Jean said, carelessly pushing Marco’s cup against him, making it spill on Marco’s face and shirt, “you just want to enlist so you can live an easy and powerful life inside the inner walls.” He smiled devilish at him, and [Name] couldn’t stop thinking how crazy he could look sometimes.

”T-That’s not true! I—“ before Marco could finish, Eren’s voice interrupted Jean’s little show.

”It’s pleasant within the inner walls? Five years ago, this was also part of the inner area.”

While the two discussed whatever monologue they had in mind, the [hair color] haired turned to his freckled friend. “Be careful where you point at,” [Name] spoke to Jean in an angry tone, gently grabbing Marco’s chin as he cleaned his face with a napkin. The act made the freckled boy blush, “you got some on your clothes...”

”U–Uhm! Thank you, [Name]!” Marco stuttered, not expecting such caring action. Such caring made him felt warm in his chest, and gulped a little seeing how close [Name] was from his face. Were his eyes this pretty...? Marco! What are you thinking!

For some reason [Name] didn’t think much about what he did— he left a peck on Marco’s nose without care, “I saw the cup hit you pretty hard. Your nose is red.”

The freckled boy immediately covered his nose, clearly embarrassed by the unusual action, “I–It’s better now! Thank you!”

As the two smiled at each other, Eren’s yell took their attention from each other to him. The two had already stood up for a fight, evident by their angry expressions and hostile actions towards each other.

”You piece of garbage!”

”Just face reality!”

Both of them took each others’ shirt, and [Name] couldn’t stop himself to look disappointed at such behavior— he thought Eren grew up from such anger, but it did seem little had changed. Did we look that foolish back then? They certainly look like that...

For some reason Eren glanced his way, noticing such discouraging eyes staring at him in disappointment. That made his stomach revolt uncomfortably, not liking one a bit seeing that towards him.  He had to show [Name] he wasn’t the same brat as before— he was much matured since then. The brunette exhaled, trying to cool off as he let go of Jean’s shirt.

Of course, Jean noticed where his eyes wandered to— and he couldn’t feel more furious than before. What? Was he trying to show off he could control himself for [Name]? Fuck that. He was even more annoyed when he noticed [Name] blinking in surprise by such ‘control’, looking relieved. Jean didn’t fall for such act.

Taking Eren’s shirt even more harshly, he yelled at him, “don’t screw with me, you bastard!”

”Ah?! Hey, let go! You’ll tear my shirt, you dumbass!”

”Who gives a damn about your clothes! I’m so jealous!”

”What the hell are you talking about?!” It seemed Eren wanted to keep yelling at him, but he stopped himself from doing so. Instead, he quickly placed a hand on Jean’s face, took his fore arm and kicked the back of his legs.

[Name] frowned as he saw Jean fall onto the hard ground, but thankfully he didn’t seem to hurt his head that bad. Nevertheless, he wanted to make sure he was okay, but he wanted to give them the space of whatever they were doing. Eren seemed to make a point of his surprise attack, and so the amnesiac just observed in worry as he stood quickly.

He saw Jean sit, rubbing the back of his head. As he yelled for an explanation of such action, surely receiving a response from Eren.

[Name] was preoccupied of Jean’s state, but as Marco could see his worry he tried to calm him down with taking his hand, “[Name], I’m sure Jean is alright— it did seem like a bad fall, but I don’t think it’s too serious.” He smiled.

”It did sound pretty loud...” he frowned, squeezing Marco’s hand as he saw his friend. The freckled boy blushed a little by the action, smiling nervously at himself. “They are both idiots, uh?”

As [Name] wanted to see any damage, Marco yanked him to his seat, bumping into him a little as everyone saw the door open just a crack to see the scary face of Shadis looking at them with anger? It was hard to say, but it looked like a demon was staring at them in the depths of the dark.

”I heard a loud noise now. Care to explain what it was?” He spoke with a deep voice, staring deadly at everyone. Of course, nobody answered until Mikasa broke the silence,

“Sasha farted, sir.”

”UH?!” The unlucky girl widened her eyes in confusion and embarrassment.

”So it was you again,” the instructor covered his nose, “learn some modesty,” he spoke before leaving.

[name] couldn’t stop a chuckle from coming out. It was pretty quiet and soft— in fact, Marco was the only one who noticed it. His face reddened, staring at [Name] with timid eyes. It was the first time he had laughed like this, after all. [Name] was a serene individual, so any other reaction than his serious stare was well welcomed.

Marco didn’t notice he had his arm around [Name]’s waist, but it was when his friend wanted to move when he returned to reality. Feeling embarrassed even more, the freckled boy apologized many times and quickly moved his arm.

[name] blinked, not sure what was happening. Thankfully, Jean was returning to their table with annoyance plastered all over his face. [Name] stood up, now it was a good time to ask him how he was, “Where did you get hurt?”

”It’s nothing. That jackass all there trying to look cool, damn...” he rubbed the back of his head, “fucking embarrassing...”

The amnesiac boy could see his irritation— he could understand it. Being throw like that in front of everyone was upsetting, but Jean got out of control for some strange reason. Sighing, [Name] stood on his tip toes and kissed Jean’s head with caring, “that was a bad fall.”

The action only made Jean more embarrassed than he already was. ”Hnshsksjs! What did I told you about giving kisses like this?!” Jean whispered harshly, looking everywhere to see the smirks and mocking faces some did as they saw the curious interaction.  He blushed in embarrassment, “Goddammit [Name]—!”

Blinking, the amnesiac tilted his head and pouted, taking some steps backwards. ”Sorry, I forgot. Are you mad?”

Jean saw the wory fave [Name] was making, instantly changing his own anger to a simple frown. Was he being too harsh? The leqst he wanted to was to put distance between their friendship. He sighed exasperated, “no, I’m not. I’m not mad, okay?! So stop looking at me like that.” He rubbed his face, “anyways, are you sleeping with that suicidal maniac or what?”

”Suicidal...? Eren?” He blinks, amused by such nickname, “I don’t think so. Why?”

”B—Because—“ because I want to. He wanted to say, but no words came out. Jean gritted his teeth, rubbing his neck in shyness. Why he couldn’t ask him like a normal question?

Oh, of course. Because he was asking the person he likes— not just an ordinary person.

Fortunately [Name] understood the silence. “Do you want me to be with you?” He whispered gently, aware of Jean’s embarrassment towards his actions.

The taller didn’t see [Name] straight in the eye. His eyes stare at the wall, while he nodded slowly, flustered. If Eren was all mighty sleeping with him, then why the hell he couldn’t? I have the same RIGHT!!! 

“Then can we go now? I’m pretty tired,” [Name] yawned, passing a hand trough his face. Today was a good day— but it was still tiring. He just wanted to get to bed and sleep all day. “In fact, I’m leaving whether you want or not.” He stated, already walking away.

”W—Wait! You can bump into doors if you walk with your eyes closed!!” Marco yelled worriedly, already knowing [Name]’s sleepy behavior by now. 

“You are such a dummy,” Jean says, walking calmly while Marco hurries to help [Name].

“I can tell your fights with Eren will be for long.” [Name] places his arm under the side of his face, blinking lazily at Jean. The two boys laid on Jean's bed, looking at each other as they talked. The lights were already turned off, but many others still talked under the darkness. 

Jean grits his teeth. “It’s not my fault he’s such an idiot trying to act all brave and shit. He just tries so badly to be seen as cool, the fucking maniac.”

[Name] blinks. “Fucking.”

Jean blinks, a mixture of surprise and embarrassment by hearing his friend cursing, ”...why did you say it?”

”You said it. Fucking. Fuck. Shit. Cu—“

Hastily covering his mouth with his hand, Jean sighs exasperated, “don’t say all of them, geez! What are you trying to say?!”

[Name] chuckles, “you have a bad mouth. These words are not on many books I’ve read— oh, I forgot suck my co—“

He covers it again with more force this time, “shut the hell up!” Jean whispers angrily, “you are such an idiot when you want to!”

[Name] takes Jean’s hand, placing it on their dad as he interlaced their fingers. “Just showing you how childish you look.”

”I don’t care. I bet he was the one making you believe on that crazy dream he has.” In fact, hearing Eren’s ideals and dreams did made him realize he was the one at fault to make [Name] join the Survey Corps. There wasn’t anything else, since both of them had been together for quite some time. No wonder that blond boy and the pretty girl wanted to join with him. “Fucking hell. Doesn’t he know other people will believe his bullshit?”

”It’s not bullshit,” [Name] speaks, “if he dreams about it, it’s not impossible. You dream to join the Military Police, even when we are more than 100 soldiers here.”

”That’s different— I want to be in top ten, not to eliminate all titans. That will never happen— if that hasn’t happen before, after 100 years, what will he change when he graduates? Fucking nothing.” Jean couldn't believe [Name] actually had faith in such a fever dream— exterminate all titans? If the Survey Corps have been active for years and hadn't got a single clue of what titans were and where they came from, how would someone like Eren do the job? It was impossible.

[Name] sighs, not happy to hear such pessimism. He believed in Eren— things could be changed. He... just did. 

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 “And you joining after him... what the hell are you thinking?” Jean spoke more to himself than to [Name], frowning. Even after knowing for some time he would join the Survey Corps, Jean still couldn't grasp that absurd idea.

[Name] leaves a kiss on Jean’s cheek, staring at him when he breaks it, “you don’t have to worry that much.”

”Easy for you to say,” he sighs, “aren’t you... upset?”

He blinks. ”For what?”

”Thinking about when we graduate. I feel I’m the one only suffering here, you heartless dummy.” Jean grits his teeth.

He did felt sadness— not being with his friends anymore made him felt... a little scared. “...I get upset.”

Jean bits his lip, averting his gaze, looking like a pouting child. ”Doesn’t look like it.”

[Name] places his arms around Jean, while the taller guy instantly wraps his arms around [Name]’s form. The amnesiac boy rests his head on Jean’s chest, smelling him and hearing his heartbeat. Jean blushes, biting his lower lip. Secretly smelling [Name]’s hair, the boy closes his eyes while enjoying the sweet scent, calming himself a little.

“I get sad thinking about how we won’t see each other again after that. I care a lot about you, Jean. Times like these are to be treasured while we can, don't you think?"

Jean blushes, narrowing his eyes in sadness. He didn’t want to let go ever— he wanted this night to be forever. Why was [Name] this stubborn? Why he couldn’t go with him inside the walls? With him? He understood his reason to go to the Survey Corps, but he had to understand nothing good would come out of it. He should be to the Military Police with him.

”There’s still time to change your mind.”

”I can say the same to you.”

Jean sighs, “why are you this stubborn?”

[Name] can sense Jean is upset. He moves his head to look at Jean, who only stares at him curiously. The amnesiac boy closes the gate between them, placing a soft kiss on Jean’s lips. The taller boy really didn’t expect such action, as [Name] felt his grip around him tightening, hugging him closer as he reciprocate the gentle kiss. He didn’t want to finish it, but eventually they did. 

While Jean’s face was as red as a tomato, [Name]’s remained the same, but a small tint of red decorated his face. 

WhatthehellWhatthehellWhatthehellWhatthehell—

”Everything will turn out alright,” he spoke with a small smile, “let’s make a promise.”

[Name] showed his pinky, “no matter what happens, we will see each other."

Jean doesn't want to do that promise— if he does, then [Name] going somewhere he can't follow will become real. He doesn't want to. But then seeing that smile just for him... [Name] always kept his promises— they were serious stuff to him, specially pinky promises for some reason.

"If you do a pinky promise and you broke it, you had to swallow 1000 needles. I read that in a book!"

[Name] still had so much to learn, but everything he read he believed it. He could be such an idiot sometimes... Jean didn't want to stop seeing that smile, hearing whatever he wanted to explain to him about what he learned. Was that fate? Everyone going to their own paths was inevitable since the beginning, and Jean was fooled to believe he could change [Name]'s mind and go with him.

Reluctantly, Jean made the promise. Locking his pinky with [Name]'s, both of them confirming vowing. Jean knew that was such an embarrassing thing to do, but being under the darkness where everyone were in their own business made him able to do it. And also, if he didn't vow then the promise wouldn't be serious, and [Name] wouldn't like that one a bit.

Such a childish cute guy. And dumb.

[Name] smiled once more, hugging Jean closer. He murmured something Jean didn't hear, but he guessed he wanted to sleep finally. 

Jean hugs him closer, frowning. He grits his teeth, resting his cheek on [Name]’s head. What will I do when you are not there? What then?


Tags
5 years ago

Did I just read save us all and cry my eyes out? Yes. Yes I did. Do want more of that sweet, sweet angst? Yes. Yes I do.

Thank you! Im happy it was angsty. It's really messy, so thanks ♡ Flower curse has angst too, but it isn't gender neautral! So if you havent read it already i recommend it :p I hope i can write more angst soon!!

5 years ago

shingeki no kyojin

reiner x male reader insert [soulmate/moder au, angst]

[one shot / 3860 words]

based on this prompt

summary: When your soulmate cries, your eyes began to water. Unexpectedly so; you have seen cases where one of your friends randomly cries when both of you are talking. It worries you at first, but rapidly they explain is 'their soulmate crying'.

notes: would u believe i had this since september in my messy folders damn, i really wanted to finish it tho also, reiner x male readers ARE NONEXISTENT. WHAT THE HELL. thats very bad and should be changed!

masterlist

When your soulmate cries, your eyes began to water. Unexpectedly so; you have seen cases where one of your friends randomly cries when both of you are talking. It worries you at first, but rapidly they explain is 'their soulmate crying'. 

You have never felt your soulmate cry. Your eyes have never watered, no tears— not that you remember, at least. This made you thought that your soulmate is someone strong, someone that doesn't get played by their emotions that easily.

You admire them, even if you don't even know them.

You, on the other hand, have cried for every kind of thing— a sad movie, a fight between friends, stress... It makes you embarrassed, actually. You only hoped your soulmate wasn't irritated by your crying...

"Something on your mind?" You heard a deep voice approaching you, quickly recognizing the voice. You turn, seeing a tall blond— Reiner. He leaves two cups on the table, instantly recognizing the smell of chocolate. He sits across you.

You slightly smile, "just thinking about my soulmate, that's all." 

He quirks an eyebrow, interested by the topic. "You said you have never cried because of them, right?"

"Nope. Not that I can remember..."

"Must be an 'Annie' case. You know, she only knew Bertolt was her soulmate when the big idiot saw her with Eren. Remember?"

You laugh by the memory— it certainly was funny now, but not back then. Poor Bertolt had feelings for Annie, and when he tried to finally confess to her thanks to Reiner and you, the three of you saw the blond girl walking with Eren, looking pretty happy. The view made Bertolt instantly cry in distress, and both of you could saw how tears came from Annie's eyes at the same moment.

Fortunately, Eren was only a friend to Annie. The whole thing had a happy ending, and every on and then the four of you —maybe just three— of you laugh by the memory. Bertolt only gets embarrassed, but if it wasn't for him, maybe he would never know who his soulmate was at that time.

"We were lucky. Bertolt saved his own ass by crying in that moment..." You take a sip from your cup, pleasantly tasting the hot chocolate. "Also, thank god Annie wasn't against the soulmate thing..."

"Who could say a big guy like him is a cry baby. I'm glad they got together, though. If not, Annie would have been suffering everyday with the tears."

You agree.

"Oh— what about your soulmate? Do they cry a lot?" You asked, tilting your head. You and Reiner really don't talk about your soulmates that much; the blond is secretive with those things, not that you mind. 

"They do. But lately, they haven't..." He blinks, wondering, "I guess they are... sensitive? emotional? I've lost count on how many times I've been crying with them. I don't mind, though."

You nod. Neither Reiner nor you have met your soulmate... Makes you wonder until when you two could— if you ever do.

A small but pleasant chatter begins between the two of you. Reiner has been a good friend of yours since high school— he has always seen as the 'big bro': reliable and protective over his friends.

He, on the other hand —and by your ignorance—, sees you more than a close friend. Even if he hasn't been with you in your hard times, he always has cared for you. Bertolt and Annie always tell him to confess already; follow his feelings and tell you how he feels. However, seeing how thoughtful you are with your soulmate, how many times you doze out wondering about them, makes him back off from every time he wants to tell you.

Just like now, actually. The buff blond thought this would have been a good opportunity— just you two sitting on a table on the middle of a coffee shop, surrounded of voices quietly talking, minding their business.

He thought how cute you looked with that red scarf on— how adorable you seemed wrapping your hands on the cup, trying to warm your hands on the middle of this winter. Reiner desired to wrap his hands on yours, kiss your nose and make you warm.

But that couldn't be, because he surely wasn't your soulmate. But he didn't mind— he can be strong for you.

Or so he thought.

His thoughts got interrupted when he heard a cough coming from you. Reacting quickly, he gently patted your back, seeing as you didn't stop. The coughing eventually ceased after some couple of seconds, but that was enough to make him worried— he didn't see you choking on your chocolate or any type of problem.

"Wow there, that lasted long. Did you got sick?" Reiner asked, preoccupied.

You shifted uncomfortably on your seat. "I've been... feeling a little funny lately... But I think it's just a cold. Nothing to worry about." You answered, hiding your true health problems. Yes, you have been feeling weird lately— sometimes weak, and other times your coughing have lasted longer than this time, but you didn't think much of it.

The blond looked unsure, "I don't know... Have you went to a check up?"

"It's just a cold, Reiner. I'm sure I'm going to be fine soon— it's winter, after all. Colds aren't that weird to get during this season." 

You tried to reason, but you could tell he wasn't buying it.

"Nope. You will get to a checkup, and I will accompany you."

"But Rei—"

"No buts, cutie. Let's go!"

You roll your eyes, a smile plastered on your face. Reiner takes your hand and guides you trough the coffee shop until you are outside, and you thank him internally. You felt a little weak— your legs didn't want to obey and if it wasn't for the strong but gentle grip on your arm, maybe you would have fallen.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

"[Name] [Last Name]?" A nurse calls your name. You stand up with the help of Reiner, as he sees you trip over by your dizziness. 

"Wow there, feeling dizzy?" The blond asks as he helps you walk to the nurse. He doesn't say it— but he's becoming more preoccupied for you by the second. 

"A little..." You nervously chuckle, feeling a little worried. Trying to look well, you stand correctly with the help of Reiner, who's arms are protectively holding you still.

The nurse, seeing as the blond takes good care of you, guides both of you to a room. She knocks before opening, receiving an answer to come in. "Doctor Jaeger, [Name] [Last Name] is here for the check up." She turns at you and gestures to come in, opening the door for you.

Entering the room, you two are met with a blond doctor wearing glasses. He is taking notes in his notebook, but stops when he sees you. "[Name] and Reiner. Surprising to see you here. What's the problem?"

"Uhm, well, I just cough a little and I felt weak sometimes, but I'm sure it's just a cold and—"

"Don't believe him, doc. [Name] coughs like crazy and he trips over with his own legs." Reiner immediately interrupted you, irritating you. The blonde doctor humns in understanding.

"Sit here, [Name]. Will do the check up on you." He helps you stand and sit on another higher place. You felt like a child, honestly. He tells you what to do; cough, move your arms, open your mouth... Him and Reiner talk a little while your session.

When he finishes, Reiner instantly asks, "And? How is he?"

Zeke chuckles. "If I didn't know you I would say you are the clingy boyfriend." The blond jokes, winking. Reiner grunts, blushing just a little. You laugh, but cough instantly after. 

"Anyways, I will do more studies on you, [Name]. I don't see an exact anomaly on you, but you weakening doesn't say anything good." He stands up, "come with me, this shouldn't take long."

Zeke gestures Reiner to accompany him too. He guides you to a room with more instruments and medical objects, and he tells you to take off your clothes and wear the usual hospital gown while he gets everything ready.

"Don't you need help, babe? Come on— of course you do. Let me help." Reiner jokes, approaching you and placing both of his hands on your hips, trying to get your coat off. 

Blushing by his flirty acts, you smack his hands and stick out your tongue, "I'm not a baby! So if you excuse me..." You wait for him to release you, but his arms wraps around you tightly, and he hides his face on the crook of your neck. 

He's unnerving quiet, and that doesn't fail to worry you. It was weird sensing him so... nervous? weird? "Reiner...? Are you alright?" You try to make him talk, caressing his hands. 

He grunts, still hiding his face. He doesn't say it out loud— but smelling your scent calms his nerves. "I'm worried."

You laugh, relieved, "you don't have to be! It would not be anything bad. It's just a check up!"

He doesn't answer, and stays in the same spot. Reiner wants to confess how nice is being like this— it felts perfect. His strong arms around you, like some type of protector. He wants to stay like this forever.

But unfortunately, that can't be.

"Yeah, well, sorry for interrupting your loving scene but I'm a busy man and this will be quick." The doctor jokingly interrupts the intimate moment, trying to keep a serious face.

"We—We are not together!" You hastily say in embarrassment, trying to pry off Reiner's hands off you.

"Yeah, aha. Strip already, boy." Zeke closes the curtain and takes Reiner by the collar and takes him out, while the buff blond grunts and whines like a child.

While you change, you can't stop thinking about Reiner being so close to you. Just remembering his breath against your neck made you shiver and blush. Feeling his strong arms around you made you feel safe.

"You done?"

Blinking, you quickly change into the hospital gown and open the curtain. You can see Reiner sitting down on a chair with a grumpy face— it looks like he's pouting! You chuckle by the scene, and his face quickly lightened by your –beautiful– laughter.

He really likes you a lot.

"Alright, just stand here and I'll do the job."

Dr. Jaeger begins with the studies while Reiner sits there with a frown. He feels worried— a cold could be noticed right away, but Zeke didn't see anything of the sort. What could it be, then?

Looks like the 'check-up' turned more aggravating.

Zeke sighs and turns to both of you, and speaks:

"Well, I need you to come next week while I check these things." He approaches you and gives you a paper, "here is the prescription— the medicine is specially for when you feel weak, but I will not give more until I make sure what this is."

"Thank you, doc." Reiner speaks while you change, and he takes the opportunity to ask lowly, "is it serious? will he get better soon?"

"I don't know that, Reiner. Until I analyze the studies I could have an answer." He squishes Reiner's shoulder, "try to not worry to much. Also, confess already."

Reiner chokes, "W—What are you talking about?"

Zeke rolled his eyes, "I don't even know how he hasn't noticed. Both of you are airheads."

But before Reiner can speak, they hear your voice. "Done! Thank you for looking for me, Zeke!" You speak as you open the curtain, already changed in your usual clothes.

"No worries." He slightly smiles, flipping some pages of his clipboard.

You smile at him, and return your attention to Reiner. Blinking at him, you notice his face is reddish. “Uh? Are you alright? Your face is red." 

"Y–Yeah," he clears his throat, "let's go, I will drop you at your apartment."

Both of you say goodbye to Zeke and leave the place, not before getting the medicine Zeke prescripted you. The ride back your apartment was normal with Reiner doing most of the talking. You throw jokes here and there, laughing with Reiner by your silliness. He loves hearing your laugh— loves seeing your smile, the way your face blushes...

God, he is really losing his mind.

The ride ends by his disappointment. You get out of the car and before you leave, he speaks in a fake natural tone you can see trough.

“If anything happens, call me, alright?”

“But if someone breaks in shouldn’t I call the police?”

He snorts, “I can’t be serious with you at all, can I?” The answer he got was you sticking your tongue out, making him chuckle. You were so adorable. “Well then, see you tomorrow, dollface.”

The ride back home was him gripping the wheel tightly, his narrowed eyes focused on the road as he thought about his feelings and your health.

“Why dos he has to be so beautiful?! UGH!” He blushes in embarrassment at the thought of your beautiful and goofy smile.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

A week passed shortly after that. Unfortunately, you could feel coughing more and more, along with your weakening form. The medication had somehow calmed the coughing at first, but soon it grew worse. You were worried now, but you tried your best not to let Reiner know about your current health. He was already worried about you— you decided to bear it until the week was over to go to Zeke again.

And that’s how you are here, feeling the incredibly tense and heavy atmosphere in the room along with Zeke and Reiner. There was a silence in the beginning, until Zeke broke it with an unusual look on his eyes. You somehow knew something wasn’t right.

"We don't know what this is, [Name]. This... is different." He speaks with a frown on his face. It’s evident he’s tensed.

"But it isn't that dangerous, right?" You didn't like his tone at all— he looked tensed and uncomfortable. The air was heavier, you can see Reiner getting tensed too.

He stays in silence, like as if he's thinking about what to say— Reiner gets impatient, his foot is constantly tapping the floor, and his fingers move every two seconds. Why he’s taking so long to talk clearly? Reiner grew worried by the second as he thought of the possible answer that Zeke tried to say. 

You, on the other hand, wait patiently. Maybe, just maybe, this is just something not that harmful? Perhaps your illness was advanced but curable, right? There was nothing to worry, right?

"What you have... is— is a terminal illness."

Cold; shivers trough your spine; that's what you feel. As if someone cold hugs your form from behind— your hands freeze, and your eyes widened. You don't know what to feel, so you don't show emotion at all. The truth drops like a bomb— you felt something stung your heart and your stomach churn.

Reiner is the one breaking down. 

He instantly stands on his feet, his hands slamming on Zeke’s desk as he shouts with an horrified expression. "What?! No— this has to be a fucking mistake, Zeke. No, no, no!"

Zeke closes his eyes and sighs, "it isn't. We checked everything – something is happening to [Name], but we don't know what it is."

Reiner doesn’t want to believe that— he refuses. "There has to be something to beat that! There's— There's no way!"

You could see Reiner was frenetic— as he yelled at Zeke and denied the whole statement like a child, but you placed your hand in his arm and tried to calm him. He looks at you, and you notice how heartbroken he looks— but you guide him to sit again, and he obeys nonchalantly.

Looking at Zeke, —who is surprised by your calm demeanor— you quietly ask with dull eyes, "Is there a treatment?"

"We are looking into it."

"I see." You blink, "but what do I exactly have?"

"Your bones are getting weaker— as well as your respiratory system, explaining as to why you cough harshly and you feel your body weak everyday. As I said before, we don’t know what is causing it, but we will do everything we can to help you.”

You doze off after that. Zeke explains things you don’t want to hear— you just stare at him and nod unconsciously. You don’t hear Reiner talking with him, you just... exist. A heavy pain is felt on your chest and shoulders as you think of your future, if you had any. Were you really going to die?

“-understand, [Name]?” That’s Zeke’s voice speaking to you. Blinking, you notice Reiner and Zeke looking at you with their  frowns, and you guess anything they were saying wasn’t good. Clenching your fist, you answer with a short and low yes.

After some checkups and medication, Zeke advises you to go home and rest. You had to come tomorrow, as maybe they will arrange everything for your stay at the hospital. You just stare blankly at him, nodding automatically.

The ride back home is tensed and horribly uncomfortable. Reiner doesn’t exactly know what to say or do as he sees how... blank you look. It has been the first time he has seen you this unresponsive— but knowing the current situation, it’s understandable. He feels something heavy and painful on his chest— he stops his urges to cry and keep it together. He doesn't need to break like that in front of you— he had to be strong, even if he feels something so painful.

He takes your hand and squeezes it, as his other hand is occupied with the wheel. Reiner doesn’t look at you, his eyes fixed on the road.

He can feel your hand squeezing back.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

You tell Reiner to come in— it's evident you don't want to be alone with these... bad news. You want to be with someone, you need someone. How much time do you have left? And not even knowing your soulmate...

Life really is unfair.

As these thoughts cloud your mind, you find yourself chuckling at first, but it grows as an uncontrollable laughter. You take your head with your hands, laughing as Reiner can only watch in pain. He had never seen you like this in his life— not even Annie nor Bertholt. For once, he didn't know what to do to calm you. Placing his hands on your shoulders, the blond tried his best to bring you comfort, to let you know he's there with you.

You break down finally— the laughter stops abruptly as you breath heavily. Your throat hurts, your hands shake, your throat feels itchy. Your whole body feels itchy, and without thinking about it you harshly scratch your throat and arms. If Reiner wasn't there with you to stop your breakdown, maybe you could have hurt yourself really badly. He gets in front of you and takes your hands with his', looking at you with painful eyes. Gritting your teeth, you try not to cry, but the inevitable comes. Hot tears fell from your eyes, and hiccups get out. Sobbing, you can't help but cry harder as you grip tightly Reiner's hands, falling on your knees.

Reiner's eyes began to water unconsciously, and many tears came out from his eyes— as if something is making him cry.

And that someone is you.

He doesn't know how to feel or what to think in this moment— he loves you, and knowing you are soulmates is even better. But how is this found out isn't joyful or happy— it hurts, but that doesn't let him stop loving you.

"[Name]," he speaks, looking at you with narrowed eyes. You can see he's crying too, "we are soulmates."

Immediately stopping crying, your eyes widen and you look at him in disbelief. Just as the tears stop from coming, his tears stop too. It's as if time has stopped in this very moment with that revelation— your breath is caught in your throat and your whole body flinches. You felt sadder, and you cry again with more force than before.

"I—I'm so sorry, Reiner!" You can only say between your sobbing, feeling much more horrible. You were happy that it was him, but you knew there was no happy ending with you. Was this your fault? Why do you exist in the first place?

He shakes his head, smiling sadly at you. Both of you cry, sharing your tears. "Sorry? Babe, you are the person I always wanted."

"I'm gonna die... I'm sorry your soulmate is me!" You can't bear this painful feeling on your chest— you hug him and hide your face on his chest, your body shaking. He welcomes you, wrapping his arms around you tightly. His hand caresses your back in comfort, making you feel tired. Less and less tears come from your eyes, and only some sobs are heard.

"Don't be sorry— we are together in this, alright? You are not alone. I'm with you until the end."

No one moves. The only sounds from that room are Reiner's voice comforting you and your sobs.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

A month passed, and you were currently hospitalized under Zeke's care. You knew he was doing whatever he could to help you, but deep down everyone knew there was no hope for your future. He couldn't tell you when was your death sentence, but he guessed it wouldn't take much longer than three months.

You were really gone. There was no doubt as you couldn't even stand without someone's help— you couldn't walk anymore.

Annie and Bertholt came every weekend to check on you. They were devastated by the horrible news Reiner had to bring them— just as the two of you, they had to believe it with their own eyes. Seeing you in the hospital bed with all of these machines connected in your body wasn't a nice image— it was something they will remember forever, an image that will burn on the back of their minds.

Reiner was always there. He came everyday to take care of you— you felt nothing but a burden to him. He knew how you really felt when your eyes met; it was clear. But every time you felt this burden and guilt, his ridiculous and cheesy behavior appeared: he kissed everywhere; your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, your neck, your hands... it never ceased to amuse you and making you laugh. It was something so childish, but in reality, you didn't mind. Even if you weren't the person you were before, that didn't mean anything to him— you were always going to be the person he will always love.

"I love you." He says, taking your hand and pressing it against his cheek. You chuckle by his behavior, making him blush in embarrassment, but smiles too. "What? Are you laughing at my love confession?"

"You look like a child. Always looking for my affection, hmn? You big baby." The two of you laugh. Caressing his face, your gentle voice say, "I love you."

Reiner was the happiest man alive when he was with you— it was really obvious by the eyes of his two friends. He always talked about you every day as if you were a treasure that nobody could find. It was... bittersweet.

He always was there to wake you up and help you walk trough the hospital's garden. You loved their flowers, and enjoyed it even more when Reiner was with you.

But there was a day when you didn't wake up and see the flowers anymore.

He cried, but there wasn't no one with him to share his tears with.


Tags
3 years ago

um hey. will you ever continue the ‘empty’ series? i was enjoying it when reading it and i can’t find anything like it so… yeah sorry for bothering

hi!! i absolutely will!! i would say it's half done? so hopefully i can post another chapter in a couple of weeks?? ( 。>﹏<。) sorry, my schedule is horrendous.......... i'm glad you like it tho! ;D


Tags
4 years ago

Reiss Mental Asylum / 11

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

Reiss Mental Asylum / 11

11. dangerous

“Wouldn’t it be weird? I mean— being watched is awkward enough…” The assistant frowned, unsure about the task. 

“We’ll have our table not that far away from them.” Mike knew [Name] would be really persistent with these subjects— he was too positive, too kind. That could develop a bigger problem in the future if they allowed it, and the taller man could already smell the trouble ahead.

He had to protect him before something happened.

“But still… wouldn’t be better to socialize?”

“That would be problematic. You know how that could end, [Name].”

“Well—” He tried to object, but remembering all of the closeness he got with some of them came to his mind, shutting his hopes out. “I guess…” He wanted to rehabilitate them, help them reintegrate to society. Wasn’t this the point of their job here? The assistant let out a defeated sigh at these thoughts.

“Hey,” Mike gently ruffled his hair to take his attention and comfort him, showing a small smile, “small steps.” [Name] blinked and relaxed his shoulders, nodding with his head and smiled. That was true— he can't just solve everything in a few weeks! After all, the sessions with the patients were just starting. There was plenty of time ahead!

The cafeteria was the next place they had to be— it was pretty simple, just watch and observe the patients. If they were lucky, no need to sedate them would be needed, if they behaved. Only the patients with good behavior lately were allowed in the cafeteria, but that didn't mean one of them couldn’t control themselves and cause an scene. Mike told him not to worry too much— the blond explained he could smell patients’ changes. [Name] just blinked at that statement.

The doors were already open wide. Plenty of patients were chatting, others didn’t. The table where doctors were was noticeable— their white coats and clipboards gave it away, along with the harsh gaze they wore. The two headed that way, not before [Name] saying a cheerful ‘good morning!’ to the patients he passed, receiving some weird looks from them, but with his’ patients they almost got hearts in their eyes (only Armin and Bertholdt, tho). The others smirked, eyeing him from head to toe.

Most of his patients were already there. After all, the bell had already been heard and lateness wasn't allowed. (Un)fortunately, one certain patient was missing— Eren Jaeger. Mike had explained the little ruckus he had done had cost him his permission to go into the cafeteria for the mean time. [Name] didn’t know if to feel relief or not.

By [Name] surprise, Vincent was there too— but not at the doctors’ table. He was standing in a corner along with other guards. They met eyes, and [Name]’s cheeks blushed a little. He smiled and waved, receiving a handsome grin and a wink from the guard.

As expected, everyone saw the small interaction— some with frowns on their faces. Specially Armin, Bertholdt and Connie. The three narrowed eyes at the guard, suspicious by the evident flirting.

“[Name]!!! Here!!!” A joyful familiar voice could be heard. [Name] turned to see Hanji waving her hand enthusiastically with a big grin on her face. She was at the doctors’ table too, and as the assistant could see, some doctors just looked at her in irritation and others tried to ignore her.

[Name] chuckled a little, sitting down along with Mike. Zeke and Levi were there too, with their usual frowns. For some reason the short man appeared angrier than usual. The assistant greeted everyone, waving shyly.

  And at the other table...

“Ah?! Did you see that guard just now?” Connie irritably spoke, frowning at the guard as he gritted his teeth.

The small blond’s eyes were locked on the stoic guard— his lifeless blue eyes observed every bit of him, as if he wanted him dead.

Bertholdt looked angry. He recognized who he was— the memory made him clench his jaw tightly.

Jean grinned, seeing the upset reactions of some. “Seems pretty boy has some competition behind.”

“Even you, Bert? Unbelievable,” Reiner interjected, crossing his arms. He smirked, “but I can’t deny he has a nice ass.” His compliment gained a laugh from Jean and some glares from the other three.

“Reiner!” Bertholdt exclaimed, frowning at his friend. The blond just grinned devilish.

“What? It’s the truth.”

The smaller blond grunts, “anyways, why isn’t Eren here?” He tried to look for his friend, but he couldn't find him anywhere. Usually he would stay with him.

“You don’t know, Armin?” The blond boy shakes his head, curious and confused, “I heard from other guards he was into a fight with [Name].” Jean answers nonchalantly, glancing at the assistant, who was chatting with the doctors.

“Uh?!” Not only just Armin reacted, but everyone on the table did. Reiner looked at Jean with interest in the situation, as he saw Bertholdt, Connie and Armin widening their eyes by such statement, changing their focus on Jean again.

“Yup. I heard he went physical,” Jean crosses his arms, deep in thought. “So that’s why [Name] acted nervous when hearing his name the other day...”

The small blond’s eyes widened in shock— Eren knew he loves [Name]. Armin have made that clear long before his friend had met the assistant. So why did he do something so stupid? Just the thought of him putting his hands on [Name] angered him— so the unusual mark he noticed was a bruise. A mark on his precious [Name]. A painful mark. What was Eren thinking? How could he?

Connie looked irritated and annoyed, to say at least. The assistant had made him interested in someone in a long time, if ever. Hearing that Eren was going nuts over this delicate man only made him think of him moving institutions or just Eren breaking him in the end like the others. If [Name] disappeared, then who will hear his greatness? The toy should get take care of if he didn't want that outcome.

Bertolt felt furious. His beautiful [Name], attacked by a beast like him? No way— he wouldn’t allow that happening again. How could he dare do that? And for what reason? Angel wasn’t someone evil like the others once were— he was gentle, kind and smelled nice. If something happened to him, Bertolt couldn’t know how would he react. That won’t happen!

"I guess we won't see him for some time. Maybe a week,” Jean crosses his arms, “if he’s lucky he doesn’t have to go to that place.”

“Who knows, seeing how kitten has some people around his finger...” The buff blonde spoke, eyeing the doctor's table. At first glance it wasn't noticeable, but he could see how intently were some workers watching him. So this was the game everyone was playing: alright, Reiner could play it too. He was lucky enough to get the pretty assistant on his sessions— just thinking of having him under him turned him on. He chuckled darkly, wondering. 

Jean eyed everyone in secret, taking note of their expressions. Holding his laughter, Jean could only think how unlucky [Name] was for being in this disgusting place and attracting their attention. A deep part of his mind told him he wouldn’t last much being involved with these people. It would be really a shame to kill someone as cute as him— if that happened, he had to benefit himself before.

“We’ll see.”

  Vincent could only guess what was happening in that table— seeing their sinister smiles as their gazes were locked onto the doctor's table worried him.

back at the doctors' table...

“Anyways, did you had fun in your date?” Levi bitterly asked, narrowing his eye as he drank his tea. The two particular men instantly froze, looking confusedly at the ravenette by hearing such... ridiculous thing. [Name]? Dating? Who? Why?

At the mention of it, [Name] blushed a little, smiling. “Y–You shouldn’t say it out loud...”

"Woaaah! [Name] had a date?!" Hanji grinned, watching carefully the scene before her. “Look at this big boy!”

“Date? With who?” Zeke forcefully asked, holding his anger and jealously. His grip on his cup tightened as he tried to play it off, but obviously with irritation showing.

Mike just observed in silence, not that pleased of the new information.

“U—Uhm, well...” he played with his fingers, “with Vincent...”

Zeke’s eye twitched. “Who is Vincent?”

“H—He’s a guard!”

“The one you waved at earlier?” Mike asked, receiving a nod. 

Now it was turn to the three workers to glare at the poor guard, who did feel the amount of glares he was given just in a few minutes. Vincent gulped, his left eye twitching slightly. His partner, who was not that far away, raised an eyebrow in amusement by the situation he was in. I told you, dumbass.

Zeke narrowed his eyes, tapping his cup with his finger impatiently, "you know romantic relationships with workers is against the norms, do you?"

Pretty hypocritical, wasn't it?

"I mean, it wasn't as a lovers date! W-We are just friends, hehe!" [Name] tried to reason, shaking his head hastily.

“And what about your neighbor?” Levi spoke, trying to sound as casual as he could. In reality, something inside him turned and shifted uncomfortably.

NEIGHBOR?!

Zeke wasn’t happy by what he was hearing. Really? Two filthy men he didn’t know? Now not only he had to take care of the damn people working inside this shithole, but he had to somehow know about [Name] private life? Just how many people were trying to get their filthy hands on him?

“He cancelled! He said his job was going to take all of his free time for some time. Also, he could go to a business trip next week. It’s a shame... I was looking forward to it.” [Name] frowned. I wasn’t the only reason he was upset— he felt secure when Porco was in his apartment. The [hair color] haired didn’t like being lonely at all in the night, and when his neighbor went into business trips his sleeping schedule wasn’t right. He could get easily scared sometimes, specially before going to sleep. There were times were Porco called him in the night, trying to not let him feel that alone. [Name] asked him to keep talking until he fall asleep— such a  childish behavior, but in the end his neighbor complied.

“Ha! Seems our [Name] here is a heart taker!” Hanji exclaims, grabbing [Name]’s cheeks hard, making the assistant yelp. “Such a cutie!!! Who can resist him?! Look at him!!”

Rubbing his temples, Zeke sighs in exasperation. “Hanji, can you please leave my assistant before you tear his pretty face apart?” The comment made Levi raise an eyebrow, while [Name] blushed. Mike stayed in silence, his expression not showing any emotion.

Letting go of [Name]’s face, Hanji clapped her hands and grinned. “So! Finally we are all together so I can tell you about my dears!” Everyone sighed as they heard Hanji begin to talk about her patients, a topic nobody wanted to hear. All of the people present knew about her stories about them, and this woman could keep going on and on until their shift was over.

Before they could prevent it, [Name] asked who they were— big mistake. It was Hanji's opportunity to take this poor soul into her dark and twisted stories about their 'experiments'. [Name] didn't like that term at all— he wondered if the woman really saw them as objects, but hearing her calling them 'babies' and 'dearies' troubled him. Is she... okay?

The small talk turned out to be a much extended one that wasn't even finished when lunch time ended. [Name] thanked she wasn't her assistant, or thanked Zeke wasn't the mad scientist persona.

"Unfortunately I won't be with you today, [Name]. I have some other things to take care of, but don't take my absence like an opportunity to do whatever you want and get into trouble."

"O-Of course not, Zeke! I won’t get into any trouble!!”

The doctor stood up from his seat, ruffling his assistant's hair without care. "Good, because there's punishment."

[Name] just saw the doctor leave with some colleagues, including Hanji and Mike. Both of them waved at [Name] and Levi one last time.

Levi just watched quietly, drinking his tea. He wasn’t in a hurry— there wasn’t anything he had to do in the next hour, and opted to calmly drink. His silver eyes shifted from his tea to [Name], who’s eyes wandered trough the leaving patients. Unfortunately for him, Levi did notice how his [eye color] eyes stop somewhere before smiling and blushing.

The ravenette could only guess who was the source of such happiness— Vincent Genett. The guard he never took attention on. Levi wasn’t a dick to everyone— he treated everyone equally, until they got in his nerves. And in this case, Levi was justified for hating this guy’s guts. Not that he needed justification anyways— who was Vincent? He only remembered seeing him around from time to time since what, one-two years? Pretty surprising, knowing what fate guards had in their horrible job. This Vincent had some luck if he persisted this long. Hopefully, that luck would run out sooner or later.

[Name]’s attention shifts on Levi, who is watching him with a cold stare. The poor assistant twitches in surprise, pressing his lips in a thin line while his eyes curiously look at Levi. Noticing the stare, Levi takes a drink of his tea, still frowning.

He was annoyed.

"What's your schedule for today?" Levi spoke with a particular harsh tone, meeting [Name]’s eyes with his cold ones. 

"Hmn..." [Name] tilts his head, looking at the side to try and remember, "session with Reiner and some observations outside."

Levi wasn’t in the mood— Reiner? Really? And Zeke left him to die or what was his plan? Unfortunately, simple workers like Levi couldn’t watch over session of other doctors, so trying to stalk watch [Name]’s session wasn’t possible. He bluntly spoke, already getting up. “What are you waiting for, then? Get your shit and let's go."

The assistant could clearly hear an annoyed tone coming from the ravenette. Was it because he rejected his ride the other day? [Name] didn't have the opportunity to see his 'scary shorty mode' as Hanji had told him before. It's not as if he had wanted to, but it seems he definitely did something wrong earlier to get him talking like this. Should he apologize...?

Taking his belongings, [Name] blinked as he remembered. "Ah! This was supposed to be an observation but I didn't do anything!" The assistant widened his eyes, clearly worried by his lack of work. Zeke would be angry at him, no doubt!

The ravenette closed his eyes, not worried. "don't worry. You will see what they really are one of these days."

He blinks, confused yet curious. "What they really are...?" [Name] tried to get an answer, but Levi didn't respond after that. What could he mean by that?

Before leaving, he waves to his patients and tries to meet gazes with a certain guard. When he sees Vincent, the guard just winks at him with a serious face.

Is that his 'business' face? [Name] can't help but chuckle, leaving with a big smile.

The ravenette, clearly aware of the two love birds, looked at the guard with the coldest eyes. Surprisingly, Vincent holds the stare without a problem. Levi just leaves with a grunt, clearly annoyed.

The patients who were being escorted by guards, didn’t hide their hate towards the popular guard. Vincent didn’t express any fear nor other emotion— staying serene and going on with his job, the guard remained unaffected by the glares. 

As Vincent get behind the patients, his partner got besides him, whispering just for him to hear. “Whatever you are doing with that worker, I advice you to nope the fuck out, man. I  could sense the hate all across my spot.”

”A few glares won’t make me stop.”

”Few glares? Don’t you know which glares, Vince? Fucking Zeke Jaeger. And don’t make me name the patients!”

”Don’t care— what could they do anyways?”

”Uh, dunno, kill you? Are you being an idiot on purpose?” Abe rolled his eyes, “do I need to refresh your memory about what happened to Jin and Roman?”

”They disappeared. Why would you bring them again?”

”Because they were killed and then disposed. Didn’t you hear the news about two bodies being found around these forests? Pretty coincidental, if you ask me.”

”[Name] doesn’t have to do anything with it— what’s the correlation here?”

”Look, man–“ before Abe could spoke about it, their radios transmitted hysterical and loud voices being interjected by static. That only meant one thing— problems upstairs. “Aw, shit. Who is it this time?”

Both guards ran to the upper floors, preparing themselves for whatever  they were going to see. “Don’t think this conversation is over, dumbass!”

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

The doctor's expression was drastically different— it seemed as if he was worried about losing something. The patient's face, in the other hand, was frowning with dull eyes.

“You got lucky— If [Name] hadn’t talked to Erwin who knows what he would have done to you!” Zeke exclaimed, not believing his brother's behavior. He knew the repercussions patients got if they harmed a worker— if it wasn't for Zeke, Eren would have gotten a worst punishment by now. Even more when [Name] was the one he hurt.

The brunette raised an eyebrow— plenty of patients harmed their doctors and the boss had never been called for something like that— after all, patients were nothing but mere objects for them to experiment on. Hell, Eren never hear of him at all. Why he appears when is [Name]...?

Then Eren realizes. “He is the same.” The comment made his brother raise an eyebrow, confused.

“What are you saying?”

The brunette crossed his arms, a smug smile appearing on his face. “Angel does have an effect on everyone. To say even the boss had fallen for it...” He really is something. "How, even? Is he really going into everyone's bed?"

Anger grew on Zeke has he heard those dirty words being throw at his precious assistant. His brother calling him a whore was more than aggravating— infuriating. It seemed Eren already began to made an image of [Name] that shaped into a dark and twisted one— a pretty assistant got a job and suddenly everyone is kissing his shoes.

"I won't allow you talking about him like that. He is my assistant— it's better if you began to cooperate for yours, and my sake."

The statement only made Eren narrow his eyes in suspicion— it was clear his brother wasn't just bothered by their safety. He too was captivated by this person, not just protective. Surprising, to say at least. He thought his brother wasn't the type of person to get to attached, but it seems he was wrong after all.

That time in the gardens gave it away, anyways.

"You too like him," he raises an eyebrow, "surprising when you don't care about who is killed here."

Zeke just looks at him with crossed arms, clearly unhappy by his childish behavior.

"It's just little time something happens to angel. You know that, right?"

"You are my little brother, Eren. I care about you— that's why I'm telling you to stop. You don't know how Erwin is really like."

"And you?" He spat, "what are you really like?"

The blonde scratches his ear, sighing. This isn't going well. "I'm just asking you to behave. [Name] isn't a bad person at all, and I know you can see that but are too stubborn to do otherwise. Even Armin likes him."

"He's easy gullible."

"Tell that to the five other doctors who tried to help and he didn't even speak to," Eren presses his lips into a thin line, "you should trust Armin's choices. [Name] is not a bad guy."

"Say that to the others who take advantage of us before."

Why does he have to be this exasperating?

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

“Where are you going after?” [Name] tried to strike a conversation, feeling uncomfortable by the lack of talk.

”With Erwin. He wanted to discuss some matters to me.”

”I–Is something wrong?”

”No.” He answered without looking at him, frowning.

It was clear Levi was angry at him still, or maybe irritated by him? [Name] pressed his lips in a thin line, not pleased by the situation. The raventte didn't even wanted to look at him— he looked annoyed and tensed. Before the assistant could ask what was wrong, multiple voices quickly approaching interrupted him.

“Get out of the way!” Multiple guards ran trough the hall, almost hitting [Name] if it wasn’t for Levi quick reflexes. The ravenette pulled [Name] against him, both pressing against the wall to let the workers trough. Some people didn’t have such luck, hearing the yell and grunt some let out. [Name] could notice most guards had some type of syringe in their hands, and some others tasers.

What's happening? The workers headed to the upper floors along with some nurses. They looked worried, and many calls were heard from their radios. "L—Levi, do you know what's happening?"

"Problems in the upper floors, that's all you need to know." Levi freed his grip on [Name], letting the assistant free. The ravenette dusted his clothes, "I'm leaving." He spoke, already walking away without another word.

[Name] frowned slightly, trying to not feel upset. He waved even if the other didn't look, raising his voice to let Levi hear, "s-see you later!!" He didn't receive a gesture in return.

Sighing, [Name] clapped his hands and changed his expression to a brighter one— he couldn't let his patient see him like that! He turned, nodding at the two guards guarding the door, receiving the same gesture. A guard opened the door to let him in, [Name] thanked him and came in with a small smile, preparing himself for anything.

[Name] was met with bored gold eyes looking at the wall, but just as the attention shifted to the assistant the expression quickly changed to a playful one.

“Finally I got to see your pretty face.”

“We meet again, Mr. Braun," [Name] knew Reiner's session would be a pain to handle. He was crude, didn't sugar coat his words and didn't care about decency. Even so, he was grateful Reiner’s warrior persona hadn’t showed before— but it made him wonder when his luck would wear out. “Been pretty long since we last meet like this!”

“Not too long,” he said, “you know— I’ve dreamed about you. The types of dreams where I have you under me and—“

“That’s nice to hear, Reiner. Reaaally nice...” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “well, we saw each other in the mess hall. Its nice to see you have friends around!”

“Bertholdt has talked about you— impressive how he has taken an special interest on you,” he leaned on his chair, “he doesn’t like me talking about how good looking you are.”

“Mr. Hoover is really nice. We have both got a great time together—“

A loud noise is heard when Reiner bash his hands on the table, his expression turning into an angry one, “I won’t allow it!” He shouts with fury, a drastic change from his playful self from before.

“Mr. Braun,” [Name] controls his fear and talks in a soft voice, not wanting to get killed. The warrior just woke up, “I’m not here to harm any of you— that’s been my promise since I got here.”

“I won’t fucking allow a demon like you touch nor make him fall in love with you— you are nothing but a devil trying to use us.”

[Name] didn’t know how the blond’s cuffs were resisting— would that even save him?

“Bertholdt is just too blind to see the real devil you are— but I can.” He slowly stands, “He’s so idiotic to see— you are such an evil creature, luring him with sweet words and that pretty face you wear— but deep inside, you are nothing but a filthy demon that needs to perish.” [Name] gulps under such cold stare.

“I’m not here to harm any of you, Mr. Braun,” he reassures, “I’m here to help you, not to hurt— I seek for your future, Reiner. That's always been what I promised since I got here.”

He snorts. “It isn’t the first time I’ve heard the exact same words before— you don’t actually think that. You devils just experiment on us. We are your guinea pigs— nobody in this hell actually helps us!"

Experiments...? The word reminded him of Hanji— the woman had called her patients exactly that. Nevertheless, the assistant didn't think it was something more than a horrible nickname. "Experiment? What are you talking about? My assistance doesn't support something as horrible as that."

"Act as if you don't know, pretty boy. This isn't new— you are just like them." He slowly gets up, as if he was trying to not scare the deer,  "but I won't allow it anymore." And before [Name] could say anything else, Reiner quickly took his collar and pinned him in the desk with a slam, as he muttered immediately, “you scream and I’ll snap your neck.”

Reiner’s face was terrifying. [Name] didn’t want to show any fear, but seeing just how cold his eyes were, how he was glaring with such hatred made him froze. This didn’t look good— what did Reiner wanted to with him? If he wanted to kill him, he would already have done that the second he got his hands on him.

”What should I do to you? Maybe I can have some fun before killing you?” Reiner spoke with playfulness in his voice, but his cold expression didn’t change. There wasn't even a smile— just a bored look.

”F–Fun?” [Name] quietly muttered, hoping the type of fun Reiner was thinking wasn’t the one he feared. He had to do something before that happened, but him being so much weaker than Reiner was obvious. Fighting him wasn’t a good idea if he clearly had the upper hand. Then what could he do? He should throw something at the wall to let the others notice there was something happening— yeah, or at least the lack of noises would weird them out. "Reiner," [Name] tried to get his attention, and he tried his best to not let a sound out when he felt hands getting under his shirt.

"No talking— don’t even whimper.” [Name] could feel the rough hands over his skin— twitching his body with every touch, but not in a good way. Shivers that were caused by fear. Biting his lip, [Name] tried to think about what to do. It was clear Reiner didn’t want to hear him at all.

But something changed— it seemed Reiner’s ‘fun’ didn’t last long, because the hands who were exploring the assistant’s skin slowly stopped in [Name]’s neck. Before [Name] could snap out of his thoughts and realize the danger, a hard pressure on his neck made him unable to breathe.

”You can deceive him, but not me.” Reiner’s cold eyes stared at [Name]’s teary face, but there was no enjoyment from it. 

Between him trashing around trying to get Reiner off, [Name] took his clipboard and threw in on the wall, hoping that would get the guards’ attention about what was happening. Hitting the blond with his wouldn't be of any use— Fortunately, the door quickly opened to reveal the two guards already with syringes in hand. 

Thankfully the guards were capable of handling this quickly— before Reiner could have done more harm, a guard injected him in the neck harshly, freeing the assistant from his grip, allowing him to breathe. [Name] fell to the floor, coughing and breathing, shocked by Reiner’s violence. The other guard was unable to help him at the moment, seeing the blond patient trashing around and yelling curses at the guard trying to control him.

[Name] was surprised— whatever that syringe had, it didn’t seem to work at all. Without knowing, [Name] backed up and pressed his back on one of the corners, still out of it and with a horrible headache. He could only see what was happening— the two guards trying to control the warrior but with no avail.

”Reiner, stop!”

[Name] had to do something! But what could he do?! He couldn’t handle Reiner even if he tried his best. The blond seemed out of it, blinded by rage. The only thing he could do was knock him out— but with what? This room was basically empty! Shifting his vision back and forth, the only thing [Name] could focus on was on the chairs— fortunately, they were metallic, so at least a little push would make Reiner knocked out. [Name] only hoped it didn’t hurt that bad.

There wasn’t another choice— Reiner wasn’t willing to listen to him nor anybody. One of the guards was already on the floor with a bloodied head, while the other tried to fight the blond off. Breathing erratically, [Name] gritted his teeth and stood up with fake courage, taking the chair, gripping it as hard as he could, his skin turning white, and while Reiner was turned, [Name] said,

”I’m sorry Reiner!” And with a loud whimper the terrified assistant hit the back of Reiner’s head two times, luckily knocking him out. [Name] immediately threw the chair out of the way, kneeling to Reiner’s side and check on his pulse. “I didn’t hit you that hard, did I?!”

His attention then went for the other injured guard. Checking his pulse too, [Name] sighed in relief there was. He spoke to the other guard, “a—are you okay?!”

The man didn’t answer at first. He breathed heavily for a couple of minutes, seeing Reiner laying on the floor. “I thought I was going t fucking die,” he got up, dripping his sweat from his forehead. He then went to where [Name] was, checking on his partner. “Let’s just call the nurses...” the man quickly took his radio and spoke with codes [Name] didn’t know, signaling where they were and what they needed. “You didn’t have to do that. If you didn’t do what you did the three of us would be dead by now— three people to add in the fucking list.”

”The list...?”  A LIST? Has anybody died in this job?! "W-What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" The guard raised an eyebrow, blinking skeptically. "Since when do you work here?"

"U-Uh— one week ago?"

"It was just a dark joke, don't take it too seriously, doc."

Two nurses and two more guards went inside, interrupting [Name]'s curiosity about 'the list'. One guard and one nurse carried the unconscious guard on a stretcher, while the other pair laid Reiner on his bed. [Name], worried about a possible concussion, noticed there wasn't another stretcher for him.

"W-Wait— won't you send him in the infirmary?" The assistant asked, allowing being checked by the other nurse.

"We are not allowed to do that, doctor." The nurse simply answered, as if it wasn't a big deal. She didn't even look at him in the eyes—

"B-But—" [name] hissed when being touched on his neck, "he could be hurt!"

"We are not allowed to bring patients to the infirmary— the infirmary is only for workers: guards, doctors, and nurses."

"Then, how would you check on him without equipment...?"

"We are experts, doctor. No need to worry about Mr. Braun's health."

"Not to worry...? B-But I—"

"I believe you have to go to the infirmary, doctor. That bruise doesn't look good."

"But he—"

"Would we need to notify the director of your refusal on following instructions, doctor?" The nurse snapped, subtly glaring at him.

[Name] faltered. What was going on? "...of course not."

"Then let's go to the infirmary."

[Name] could not stop himself from looking behind him, watching Reiner on his bed. There wasn't blood on his clothes nor his head, but the nurse had told him he was "completely fine". The nurse hurried [Name] outside, tightening her grip on [name]'s arm, guiding him.

All the way to the infirmary, [Name] thanked he didn't run into someone he knew— if they reacted so worried with what happened with Eren, he didn't want to know how Erwin would react until he knew about this.

"Please, please don't let them notice..."

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

After going to the infirmary, the nurses had told him there wasn't anything harming. The bruise would eventually heal by itself, so there wasn't much to be checked anymore. Unfortunately for him, the bruise looked horrible and was much, much noticeable than the last one. Well, [name] couldn't really whine about it, at least the only thing he got was a nasty bruise, and not what Reiner was going for at first. Whatever change of mind he had at that moment, at least [name] was grateful for it.

The rest of his day was outside, watching other's patients routines. It seems for today there was luck on his side, because it didn't seem Zeke, Levi, Erwin nor Mike knew about the incident that transpired not to long ago. If they had knew, he would be in Erwin's office by now, or maybe the director was just waiting for tomorrow to decide what to do with him and Reiner.

Tomorrow was going to be a rough day for sure— Erwin had already forgiven Eren for a small angry attack, and [name] was sure he wouldn't pass this situation even if he begged for it. Hell, [name] would try regardless— Reiner has a serious disorder, that, at least, is a justification for what happened. The assistant was sure to try to not harm Reiner— something was not right...

[Name] could already see Vincent in the distance, waiting for him at the door. Of course— Vince had invited him to his apartment to eat burgers. How could he forget? Well, the past situation was stressful and dangerous, and the only thing in his mind for the rest of the day was tomorrow. Just remembering Erwin's cold stare made him nervous...

"You finish?" Vince asked, but just as [name] got nearer, the guard couldn't ignore the nasty bruise he had in his neck. "Woah! What the hell is that?!" he widened his eyes and locked closely at [name]'s neck.

[Name] tried to hide it by pulling his collar up, frowning. "It's not that serious... just had an accident today."

"That doesn't look like an accident, [name]." Vincent looked worried, "what happened? who did you have session with?"

[Name] pressed his lips, not sure if to answer with the truth. Well... Vincent had helped him before, and he didn't seem to be one for gossip. "Reiner."

The face Vincent made was hilarious to [name]. It seemed he had seen a ghost— the looked pale by the name. "R-Reiner?! Holy fuck, are you alright?! What did he do? Did the guards help you?! How—I—"

"Calm down!" [Name] chuckled, "it's not that serious! The guards came quickly and helped me."

"Not that serious!? Did he choke you?!" Vincent looked hurt— almost embarrassed. Was because he wasn't there to help him?

"...Yeah," the assistant scratched his face, "but he didn't do anything else, okay? why don't we just leave? I don't want to see the others right now..."

The guard could see [name] uneasiness, as he was looking around discretely. "Why? You don't want to be found with that on your neck?"

"You know how they get when something happens to me. They get... like a mom." Both laugh.

"But you know they will know eventually, right? Specially the director, he knows everything that happens here."

"I know... but I don't want to be here when that happens— I know tomorrow I'm going to get called once again to Mr. Smith's office, so let's leave!!" The assistant began to push Vincent to the door playfully.

"Okay, okay!" Vincent laughs, "let's go get some burgers, okay? And then we can watch some TV to at least forget for today what happened." [name] couldn't agree more with that. He was really hungry.

While Vincent talked, he discretely tangled his fingers with [name]'s, surprising him by the gesture. The assistant looks at him with a blush and widen eyes, but keeps silent. He averts his gaze, not minding Vincent's action. The guard grins, squeezing his hand.

"I know you will like them!" Vincent grins, looking childish. [Name]'s heart fluttered, smiling along with him. Both of them waved at Margaret before leaving. The woman was behind the reception, gently smiling at them and waving back.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

The trip trough Vince’s apartment is filled with laughter. The guard has come to the realization he loved hearing [Name]’s laugh, and his smile is too adorable to ignore. His past anger of what happened went forgotten, and just the image of [name] smiling for silly things he says makes him have butterflies.

They stop pretty far away from their main destination, dropping on a food area. There are plenty of food stalls around with bright signs— the place seemed dirty and not very well kept, but that didn’t matter to all the people who were around. [Name] didn't care much either— it wasn't as if his place was five stars, and he himself wasn't that caring.

Vincent guides him trough the alleys, getting on the burger stall he tells him about. The place seems pretty lonely— there's two pairs of people sitting on the counter eating their burgers. The one behind the counter notices Vincent, seeming to know him.

"Vince! Been waiting for you, where the hell were you?" the man speaks in a deep voice, "and who's that? your boyfriend?"

"W-Wha— James, don't scare him!!"

It was a man, maybe on his early forties. He had blond hair and his eyes were brown— he looked pretty tall too, maybe 6'0? He looked buff too, almost like Reiner. There was a scar on his neck and chin. He wore an apron with an image of a burger with a happy face on it, along with the name of the stall— 'happy mcburgers'. The apron and his rough appearance was a big contrast, and [Name] tried to hold his laughter as best as he could, not wanting to appear rude.

"Don't worry, [Name]. You can laugh at this fool! Who even wears an apron like that looking like a thug?!" Vincent shouted, smirking. The people who were sitting couldn't handle their laughter, and James only yelled at Vincent.

"And who wants to look like a stick like you, brat!!! Don't even insult me when you are eating my sacred food, boy!" he glares at Vince, sighing exasperatedly, "anyways, I'm James. I guess you are the [Name] he always talks about?"

[name] blinks, interested. "Oh? He talks about me?"

In the other hand, Vincent looks horrified, trying to shut James up. "James, don't, man!!! I take back what I said!!"

James laughs devilish, placing a hand on Vince's face and pushing him away, ignoring his yells. "Of course he does. He doesn't shut the hell up— in fact, you are the only thing he talks about when he gets here."

"That's... interesting," [name] said, blushing a little, "are they bad things?"

"Bad things? This idiot talks wonders about you— how CUTE you are and how—" the man gets interrupted by Vincent throwing ketchup at him, "what the fuck?! Stop using MY ketchup like that, you dumbass!"

"You didn't shut the hell up, old man!!!" he turns to [name], "don't hear him, [name]! He just wants to embarrass me!"

The assistant just laughs, seeing the two fight.

"Anyways, James!! Just give me the usual, but make that two." Vincent pouts, "you should thank me I got you a costumer!!!"

"Thank you? For one costumer? Man, you SAVED my job!" James sarcastically replies, already cooking. [Name] watches intently how he cooks the meat, almost drooling. "Anyways, how is that job going for you both? This kid actually looks smarter than you, so I know he's not a guard." He says, signaling [Name].

"You—!" Vincent frowns, "[Name] here is a doctor, and It's MY job to protect him!" He grins, signaling himself. "Been doing a pretty good job so far!"

"Yeah, I can see that," the man looks at the assistant's bruises, and the boy shyly hides it. "You both better need to look for another job. Your luck may run out sooner nor later."

"Hey, hey! You think I don't know that? But the pay is good, soooo..."

James and Vincent talk for a while, but [Name] doesn't join the conversation that much. It seems James knows somehow it's a dangerous job, possibly because Vincent talks about it? But what did he mean by 'luck'...? Yes, today was actually, a bad day for [Name], but in the end it went okay, as no one was killed. Not that he thought someone could get killed, anyways. Was that a possibility? Well, if he didn't contain Reiner someone surely was going to be harmed severely. But someone getting killed? That sounded too far... As he remembered, he didn't found anything that pointed out the Asylum had any accident like that. This only reminded him of what the guard said to him...

"Let's goooo!" Vincent's voice interrupts him, grabbing his wrist. "Thank you, James!! See you later or never!!"

"You would make me a favor if I stopped seeing you irritating face!" his eye twitches, but his expression softens a little to see [Name], who is waving at him, "and it was nice to meet you, kid. Hope you can bear this idiot."

Vincent guides him between some alleys, stating it was faster. [Name] grew a little worried by how shady they looked, and tried to not think about some thief coming out from the shadows to get them. Luckily the two made it safely to an apartment complex, and [name] could not stop thinking about his own— it looked pretty similar to the exterior of his own.

"You live alone?" [name] asked as both went up the stairs. The elevator had a note saying “out of service”, but thankfully Vincent’s room wasn’t at the top of the building.

"Yep. Been on my own since I was sixteen."

[Name] blinks, surprised by how young he had been. "Really?! And... your parents...?"

Vincent bits his lip, "Well... they left me on my own, so it has been me cycling around jobs."

"S-Sorry for asking..."

"Hey! Don't look upset!" He touches his hand, "if you think about it, if something in my life had been different I wouldn't be here with you."

"You say embarrassing things to someone you have shortly met..." Vincent signals a door— 302. He unlocks the door, opening and inviting [Name] in.

The guard grins as [Name] enters. "Love at first sight, possibly?"

[Name] laughs, "you are dumb!”

The apartment is cozy, just like his own. Vince tells him to sit on the sofa while he takes something to drink. “Do you drink?”

”Not really— I can’t handle it very well.” It was true– [Name] couldn’t remember the last time he had drank, but Porco had told him he can get very touchy when he is in the drunk state.

Vincent places the food on the table, turning the tv after. Immediately, an urgent voice of a woman fills the room— it seems it’s a horror movie. The brunette sits on the floor, looking more comfortable there. [Name] follows.

[Name] takes a bite from the burger, watcing the tv. There’s curiosity growing on him, wanting to know more about Vince, and he can’t help but ask, "ho did you even find the asylum?"

Vincent takes his time, cleaning his face. "A friend told me they were hiring instantly, and I saw the payment so I left my previous job and well here I am."

The assistant looks at him, "Is it hard...?"

Vincent takes a sip of his beer, "sometimes," he hums, "how did you find it?"

"I found an ad in the newspaper! I was surprised they gave me an interview right away, and I was much more surprised when Mr. Smith hired me the same day!" [Name] can’t help but smile at the memory of his messy interview and Erwin’s nice behavior towards him.

"And you..." he asked inquisitive, "don't think about some other places to work...? maybe near your place?"

[name]'s joy flattered, "I tried to but this was the only place I found an opportunity.” he frowns, feeling a bit upset, “A—Am I... Irritating?"

Vincent’s eyes widen, looking horrified. "Oh god, no! I didn't mean it that way, [name]!" He hold his hand tightly, trying to fix his error, "I'm just saying that this work— it can't be hard and dangerous! And, uh, I care about you. And also like you, and I don't want to see you hurt, and—"

[Name] blinks repeatedly, hearing the small confession. "You like me?"

The brunette gulps loudly, blushing a little. He looked embarrassed, evading [Name]’s gaze. ”Y—Yeah... yes, I do.”

[Name]’s face redden. Of course he liked him! Vincent was kind to him and he made it quite evident with his flirting— was that even a surprise?

“I thought that was pretty clear— with the other date and all...” he chuckles awkwardly. 

“B–But— I’m an idiot and dumb and clumsy and—“

“And I like you over all these things,” he grins, looking more confident, “could we... be together like that... someday?”

A small frown is clear in [Name]’s face, but his redden face doesn't wear out. He looks at Vince with unsure eyes, “W–We’ll see. Is that okay, Vincent?”

Vince can’t stop seeing [Name]’s pretty face— his long eyelashes, his soft lips pouting, how he looks at him... “S–Sure! Oh fuck, you are so cute!” the guard hides his blushing face behind his hand, laughing awkwardly. "Don't feel pressured or anything, o-okay?!"

"S-Sure!" [Name] hastily took a bite from his burger, watching the TV but not really processing what was on it. The confession had him thinking— did he like Vincent? He was kind to him, and never passed boundaries or did something he didn't like. He was reliable and looked for his security, but that was his job after all. [Name], on the other hand, didn't have much to offer. He was... pretty uncomfortable to be in another relationship after what had happened before... The assistant was glad Vincent didn't pressure him for an answer, though. He cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject. “Uhm... sorry If I’m obtrusive, but how come have you been able to sustain yourself for so long?”

Vincent blinks, his face coming to normality. ”Oh well,” he blinks at the tv a couple of times, “I knew I wouldn’t afford going to college, so I tried to finish high school. Unfortunately, I dropped in my senior year.” He takes a sip of his beer.

”It was tough being so young and trying to find a good job. As you expect, there were many jobs that weren’t that... nice. I tried to not get into shady ones, because I knew nothing good would come out of it in the end. I didn’t think it was worth it.”

[Name] subtly looks at him, playing with his hands. "Aren't you... in contact with your parents?"

He laughs, "hell no. Why would I? Mom even with his abu—" he stops himself, not finishing his sentence. Sighing, Vincent looks at the floor with a frown, clearly displeased by what he remembered. "Maybe someday I can get this weight off of me."

"I'm sorry, Vincent! I'll should just shut my mouth!" [Name] desperately tried to apologize, cursing mentally by his curiosity. Why couldn't he just shut up? Was he always this pushy?

"Perhaps I could tell you later, sweetheart." He smiles, "I can see you want to ask more things, so don't be shy."

[Name] takes a bit of his burger, looking at Vincent shyly. The guard curses mentally at how cute he looked once again. ”Since when have you been working at the asylum?”

”Two years,” he sighs, “I know it doesn’t look too dangerous, [Name]. But believe me, it gets risky every time."

"How come I haven't got anything dangerous?"

Vincent raises a brow. "Reiner session wasn't dangerous?"

"Well... not that much!" He laughs, hiding his bruises discretely.

"Okay, we do have months that are peaceful. Like now. But when we have the stressful months..." He rubs his temples, "no matter who is it, there's a chance they will have a meltdown."

"But..." [name] wonders— didn't the upper floor were being more active with guards and nurses lately? He couldn't deny seeing various workers going upstairs. "Lately many workers had gone to the upper floors. Does that mean we are going in the stressful state?"

"I'm afraid we are. I guess next month is going to be a nightmare."

"W-What has been the riskier thing that has happened?"

"Well, it varies, but these are some of my personal experiences. Sometime Reiner got so angry at something in the cafeteria he threw a table to another patient."

"He threw a table?!! But they look so heavy!"

"Yup. I was amazed at his strength— when we were remodeling the cafeteria we had to move the tables with two or three people." He explains, "that’s why they are heavy as hell, so things like that doesn’t happen. But now we take a lot of precaution around Reiner. The guy can just throw you a punch and knock you out.”

“I—I see...”

“There was another time where my past partner got his finger bit off by Sean, another patient."

"H-His finger!?" [Name] looks at his hands with fear, gulping. “H-He didn’t sue or anything?”

Vincent laughs, “of course. But surprise— the contract we sign explicitly says ‘we are not responsible of any harm or accident you may suffer’. That sucks.”

”T-That’s... horrible.” He didn’t even notice he signed to his death. Now working there didn’t sound too wonderful— everyone, no matter who, risked their lives to the people they were helping. If they were anyways.

“That’s why I’m telling you to reconsider.”

[Name] sighs. “As you know, finding a job isn’t easy,” he bits his lip, “I applied to nearly seven jobs and nobody wanted me. Mr. Smith is the only one who took compassion on me and hired me.” [Name] smiles at the memory of Erwin’s kindness— if it wasn’t for him, maybe [Name] would be in the streets by now.

Vincent’s face grim by the sound of Erwin, “that man—“

[Name]’s phone ringing interrupted their chat. The boy responds, looking pretty nervous by who the caller was. The guard raised a brow, pouting.

”Hello? Eh— Porco!” [Name] blinks, “sorry, I didn’t see the hour! Hey— it’s not that late!!!”

Vincent looks at the clock, surprised it’s now 9:30. How in the hell time flied so fast? 

Noticing the call ended, Vincent couldn’t stop himself from asking who the caller was— someone keeping track of where he was in such hours? “Who was it? Your boyfriend?”

”Of course not!! Porco is my neighbor, and my friend!! He gets really worried about me. You know, how it is in the nights around our areas," the assistant gets up, dusting himself, "I should get going..."

”Let me accompany you." Vincent followed suit, turning the tv off.

”Is there a bus stop near?”

"The only one near was the one we dropped by... so no, unfortunately," he frowns, ”sorry I don’t have a car— could’ve dropped you off but...” he blinks, grinning, “hey! I have a bicycle!!!”

”Uh—Hey! Can we get the two on it? Isn't it dangerous?"

"Of course not! We're going to look like these ghibli movies."

"You are ridiculous!"

For some strange reason Vincent had his bicycle forgotten in some room, but luckily it wasn't damaged and looked fine. Both left the apartment, both helping to not drop the bicycle on all the stairs. Eventually they succeed after some painfully minutes— as they left the building, [Name] sighed in relief and passed a hand trough his hair.

"Okay," Vincent gets on, turning to see [Name] as he grinned, "get on!"

[Name] chuckled nervously, getting behind Vincent. "Don't make us fall."

"Of course not! I'm like, a master in the bicycle..." Vincent spoke with a low voice, trying to mimic an old man. [Name] laughed, holding tight.

The ride was fun— Vincent tried to go as fast as possible, almost making both fall. They passed James' stall, [Name] waving at him with a big smile. The man just laughed, whispering to himself 'young love'. Both Vincent and [Name] talked all the way, or more like yelled at each other. Nevertheless, the ride come to an end once [Name] saw his lonely and shady building in the distance. Once Vincent stopped [Name] got off, trying to fix his messy hair.

"That was pretty fun, wasn't it?" Vincent spoke, looking at [Name] with a big smile.

The assistant returned the expression, "I can't deny it. But it was pretty dangerous too!"

"But there wasn't any damage— so it's completely fine."

The assistant shakes his head with a chuckle, ”Thank you, Vincent.” [Name] pecks his cheek, “see you tomorrow!” He says as waves at him and walks away, feeling warmer.

Vincent, with a goofy smile, gently rubs his kissed cheek. “S-Sure! See you tomorrow [Name]!!”

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

[Name] sighs as he enters the building, feeling tired. He didn't mind it tho— spending time with Vincent was nice, and plus, he learned a little more about him. A relationship seemed pretty soon; he didn't feel ready at all, but he couldn't deny the guard was at least, growing on him. It wasn't as if [Name] was that defensive about making friends, but when it came to serious relationships he was... thoughtful. That was something serious!!

”There you are!" A voice is heard coming near, and [Name] tries to hide his new bruise as quickly as he can.

Where were you— what the,” he blinks, “WHAT IS THAT?!” Porco's eyes widened, pointing at his neck.

”Porco!! Don’t raise your voice, there are people sleeping!!” [Name] whispered, trying to shush Porco.

”What the fuck just happened to you?! I told you that place was bad!” He angrily whispered, gritting his teeth. “I can’t believe it!”

”It was an accident! It’s not that bad!”

”Haven’t you seen yourself in a mirror? That’s no accident. What the hell happened?” Porco took [Name]'s collar and pulled it a little, seeing the damage. It looked pretty bad— he didn't want to imagine how he got that, but he already had some ideas in mind.

"It was an accident." [Name] said once again, covering it. "Nothing happened to me, Porco. I'm completely fine!"

"I can't believe you— what do you want? To get killed?" He huffed, crossing his arms, "drop that job immediately."

[Name] blinks, "drop it? o-of course not! It was so hard to get hired! I can't just do that, Porco!"

"[Name], do you have a death wish?"

"I can't." [name] frowns, "I won't do that— I can't just be selfish and leave them like that."

"Them? Really, [name]?" Porco passes a hand on his temples, clearly exasperated, "don't tell me you just grow attached to whoever you are talking about."

"They are patients, and I can't just leave them like that after getting inside their lives!" [Name] pouts, not liking one a bit what Porco suggests. He can't leave them, honestly. Leaving would not help nothing at all, and if [name] can guess, it's not that he could leave, anyways.

"You surely can get this stubborn— I really can't believe this." He grows, "and this happens just when I'm leaving... what a nice thing to happen."

"Look, Porco— nothing will happen to me, alright? I promise!"

"Of course, sure thing. Only you would say something like that when you almost got choked to death, right?"

[Name] confident voice flatters, "I-I didn't get—"

"Of course you fucking did," he grits his teeth, "I'll think on something. You won't be there forever, [Name]. That place will only kill you."

"I'm promising you nothing will happen," [name] raises his pinky finger, "I'm swearing it."

"You can be really childish, you know that?"

"If you don't complete the promise with me, I will get cursed!"

"Dummy..." the blond tangles his pinky finger with [name]'s, looking at the other side in embarrassment. "Just hang on, okay? Don't do stupid stuff over a company that won't do anything for you in return."

"Porco, I'm swearing to my dignity nothing will happen." [Name] frowns, straightening his stance.

"What dignity?"

"Porco!!!"


Tags
5 years ago

e m p t y / 6

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter six — new memories [1.4]

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

Armin was nice— [Name] really liked him. He was gentle, his voice was soft and he wasn’t an idiot. That was enough for [Name] to not hate him, surprisingly. Fortunately for him, Armin liked him too.

“How has your handwriting gotten?” Armin asks, eating some cookies Beatrice made for them. They sitting on the table inside [Name]’s house— the usual spot to teach [Name].

“I think it’s better. But I’ve gotten some trouble remembering some letters.” Handing him his notebook, [Name] watches expectantly as Armin takes the item and looks at it, flipping some pages.

Humming, the blond inspects the semi-messy handwriting. It wasn't a pleasant looking typography, but it was enough to understand it. There were some words that contained backwards letters, but it was a great improvement since last week. “I see you have some problems with certain letters, but you have improved a lot! I’m happy my teaching has somehow worked...”

Blinking, [Name] stares at the blonde in silence. It wasn’t a secret he always looked down on himself— he always felt weak when [Name] or whoever who came to defend him agaisnt the bullies. It was plastered all around his face— but [Name] thinks Armin is strong.

“You are smart.” [Name] begins, resting his head on the table, looking at the blonde without an expression. “I like you, Armin.”

The blue-eyed boy blinks in surprise before blushing a little by the bland statement. “I—I like you too, [Name]!”

Slightly lifting the tips of his lips, a smile barely noticeable, the amnesiac boy speaks, “I’m glad.” Straightening his posture, the boy looks expectantly at his friend, who blinks in return before snapping out of his thoughts.

“U—Uhm! I—I think we should get to reading!” He hands him a simple book for children, easy to read. His friend takes it and opens it before glazing at the words and begins his reading exercise.

Armin was... always curious about [Name]. The first thing that made him amazed and interested in him was back then when he first protected him— he actually fought similar like Mikasa. He had never seen him around before— he was confused at first. An unknown kid helping him instead of his best friend Eren.

But the most impressive thing was his eyes— they were nothing Armin had seen before. They were unique. The children around the neighborhood were pretty harsh on him for his eyes and his demeanor, telling him ‘freak’ and ‘weird’. But Armin could see his friend was unfazed by these comments— he was really strong.

[Name] was so calm and collected. His only weakness was his headaches and, maybe, Beatrice. The blond could see the incredible attachment his friend had with the nice woman— and Beatrice loved him dearly. Armin believed if something bad happened to the woman, [Name]’s calm behavior would broke in some way— it was pretty clear to him.

[Name] and Eren where obviously different, but not that much. Armin knew [Name] could be pretty brutal when fighting some times— like when the bullies had yet again stolen food from Armin, and when the amnesiac boy knew about this, Armin had never seen someone so scary. Basically, [Name] had made the bully throw up, and then made him eat it again. He only knew of this because Mikasa had told them about it, because when that happened, the bullies left Armin alone for some time.

Armin did like [Name] a lot. He enjoyed his time with him, reading for him, teaching how to write and read... it was different. He was glad Eren and [Name] had become good friends in the end, as Armin finally could keep company with both of them without the two killing each other that much.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

“And hear this! It says the ocean is made of saltwater!” The blonde excitedly speaks, showing the drawings to [Name]. “No merchant can finish all the salt it has!”

“Ocean...” [Name] blinks as he looks at the drawing. His fingers touch it gently, as if it’s a part of the sea. He’s silent without expression, worrying Armin.

“Is something wrong?”

The amnesiac boy doesn’t respond. There’s something familiar he can’t fully grasp— this ‘ocean’ is familiar to him in some way. But as he tries to remember anything, a shock passes trough all of his body at the same time images appear on his mind for seconds— but one particular burns: something blue as the sky.

He can even hear some type of bird, the ocean waves... but there’s a voice— a woman’s voice besides him, but he can’t see her face as his gaze in locked on the peaceful  sea. Then, her clear but unrecognizable voice says:

“The ocean is what keeps us apart from them.”

Blinking, the memory? disappear as he speaks without thinking, “I think I’ve seen it.”

Armin’s eyes widened in surprise, not believing what he’s hearing. “That’s impossible! The ocean is outside this walls! No one has ever seen it!”

[Name] doesn’t say anything— he’s sure it was a memory, even if it was clear for some seconds, it burns in his mind. He’s sure is real— the ocean, the sounds, her voice... It’s too real, like he was there with her.

He wants to tell Armin about it, but the boy remembers Beatrice had told him to not tell anybody about him being outside the walls. It could cause a lot of trouble for him or her, and obviously he didn’t want that. So he shuts his mouth and doesn’t say much.

“Yeah... I think I’m imagining things,” he dismissed the entire conversation, “let’s read some more.”

His blond friend looks like he wants to say something else, but the look [Name] is giving him shuts him down. It’s clear to Armin that [Name] doesn’t want to say anything else, and he obeys. The blond kid keeps on reading, sometime stealing some glances at his friend while [Name] tries his best to follow,. But the memory keeps his mind occupied, wondering about something the woman said to him...

“It keeps us apart from who, exactly...?”


Tags
6 years ago

Flower Curse | 1. White Petal

[levixmale!readerxerwin]

english isn’t my first language, so sorry for the grammatical errors!

this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease.

summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.

1

Love hurt. Even more with the disease you had; some people could say it was ’poetic’ and so ’romantic’. You could have thought that one day a long time ago; just because this curse was so rare to have or yet so slim. You had yet to find someone who had this in real life and not in some fairy tales in child books or romantic novels for adults.

x x x It all began when you were alone in your office, working on some stressful paperwork Hanji handed you to finish for today. You were so deep in your work that the knock on your door wasn't heard at all. It was at the third attempt that you heard a female voice you knew to well. “Who and why?“ you irritably asked, one hand on your temple and another holding a paper not yet finished. “Petra Ral, bringing more paperwork, sir” she answered opening the door as you told her to come in. Sending you a gentle smile, she gave you the papers and spoke with some playfulness in her sweet voice, “It seems everybody is really busy today! Your voice scared me more than the Corporal, [Name]!“ You only closed your eyes and slightly laughed, sitting more comfortably on your seat. Looking at her, you tiring smiled, “Sorry, Petra. Somehow today we have a lot of paperwork, and you know paperwork is boring as hell,” you both laughed, “How is the Corporal? Is he handling this better than me?” You knew she tried to hide her blushing when speaking about her Corporal, but you were to observant to not notice it. You always are observing every little detail about everyone, even her with no exceptions. You knew she and you had feelings for the same person but unlike her, nobody knew about your feelings about the Corporal. Well, just Erwin knew; the man was like a hawk. He knows everything and sees everything; just like Mike magical nose. These two were weirdos, but great friends nevertheless. “He’s been stressed, but making him some tea relax him,” Petra gets near to you and covers her mouth, as like telling a secret she only knew about, “I think I'm making better tea lately! He’s been complimenting me a lot!” this time the blush on her cheeks was stronger and smiles at you with a dreaming smile you always saw on other cadets when talking about their lovers, just like that Jean kid in lunch looking at Mikasa with a cheesy look. You knew loving the corporal was a bad idea. Levi wasn't that talkative about liking someone in that way, hell, you don't even know if he loved someone in that way. Yes, you both were great friends, the two of you liked to drink tea together and talk about the present and future, about the new recruits and their skills, joking together or just stay in a comfortable silence. You treasured his friendship, so ruining it by confessing was an absolute and horrible mistake you weren't going to make. He didn't loved you that way and you were okay with that. Until Petra came and everything began to hurt. You wished being observant wasn't one of your skills. You wished you didn't notice the glances they gave each other when they were alone or someone wasn't looking. You wished you didn't see the sparkles on both of their eyes. You wished deep in your heart, to not notice how Petra ’accidentally’ brushed her hand on his and he didn't say a word. You wished, you really did. Lies was one of your strong skills too. If talking to the Corporal and not showing any affection or jealously when glancing at their actions wasn't like wearing a mask everyday a skill you didn't know what was. Nobody break trough your thick mask, unlike Erwin. The fucker very well knew about all of your façade, how could he not? You two were close and just to see into your eyes he knew everything. “Is that so, Petra? It seems like you being his wife isn't that far far away...” you grinned, making a cheesy face at her. Only to get her blushing like a tomato, covering her face with both hands. “Don't say that THAT loud! Someone can hear you!” “As if no one knows, little Petra. Why don't you both go in a date already? At this rate someone is going to make better tea than you... I'm just saying...” you teased her with a playful smile. Petra was your friend, you couldn't feel bad things for her. She was really sweet and pretty. She was like a sister to you, and you were a brother to her. You didn't intended the relationship being like that but it just happened. “You think so?! But— what if he doesn't like me back?” “Petra, my dear, I'm sure he likes you back.” you reassured her. “You really think I don't see how he looks at you? You know how he feels. I know.” you thought, feeling a sharp pain in your chest that you ignored and faked a smile. “Maybe I will tell him soon... Thank you, [Name]. Also, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't make good tea! Thank you again for the tips. Levi really likes it.” “You're welcome, Petra. Good luck on telling him, I'm sure he feels the same way.” Saying farewells both of you returned to your work. When she left, your expression changed completely with a grimmer one. You didn't smile; just stared at nothing in particular. You were thinking on how they would look together, how they would hug and say each other “I love you”. The thought repulsed and hurt you; sickening you. A pain in your chest made you snap out of it, making you to cough harshly. You felt as if something wanted to get out of your throat; but it didn't feel like vomit at all. It stopped when you coughed a white petal, something that confused you completely. Did you breathe in petals by accident? That was unlikely, there weren't any flowers nearby. But then, how did this petal got in? Something felt very wrong to you. You just stared at the petal dumbfounded, not really knowing what to think of it. You just placed it next to your paper, already forgetting about it.

t w o


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  • n0irrrr
    n0irrrr reblogged this · 5 years ago
n0irrrr - gnossienne.
gnossienne.

【male/gn!reader fanfiction ☆ mostly attack on titan 】hiatus ; reqs into consideration ٩( 'ω' )و٩( 'ω' )وenglish's not my first language, expect trash, self-indulgent writing ☆24

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