They Really Do…just Two Traumatized Guys Struggling Through Life And Unintentionally Falling Into Found

I still get excited when my friends refer to me as their friend

"My friend said" "this is my friend" "they're my friend"

Im freaking out inside every time

Plus Jem and Tessa treated him like their child and they gave him the love and support that he needed and never really had (especially from a parental figure). Similarly in ghosts of the shadow market, Kit told Jem that he didn’t feel like anybody really loved him and I think he would’ve continued feeling like that if he stayed at the Los Angeles institute, he needed Jem and Tessa to show him through time and effort that he was worthy of love and he needed space, patience and a sense of safety to even allow for any internal healing to begin. And to learn about who he was outside of his trauma and his past.

(1) OMG I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE HAS FINALLY ADDRESSED KIT’S NEGLECT AT THE LA INSTITUTE. If it wasn’t for his pov and his friendship with Ty, I wouldn’t have noticed he was there. People only see him as Ty’s friend and confidant, his ‘shadow’. They entrusted Ty’s well-being to him (Mark saying that Kit is the one Ty wants etc) and even Dru ended up defending Ty’s action whereas she scorned Kit for lying to her (‘maybe it’s better he’s gone’). +

(2) Kit was and remained an outsider and there’s that scene in QOAAD where Ty’s climbing the pyre and Kit starts after him but Diana holds him back and says something like ‘no, not YOU’, which, fair, Julian SHOULD be the one who goes after him, but it was also kind of ridiculous because the rest of the time, it was KIT who took care of Ty? That ‘not you’ (why did she have to word it like that!!) very much underlined Kit’s position as an outsider to the Blackthorn family

(3) and that’s only one of many scenes where he’s relegated to the sidelines. Like, you’ve got this kid whose sole remaining relative is off risking his life in Faerie and not a single adult thought hey, maybe we should make him feel more included/pay actual attention to him? There’s one scene in Lord of Shadows where Julian puts a hand on his shoulder to comfort him (and even that was spoiled by ‘what would jace do if I killed his cousin’ like hmmm

(4) hey, what the hell, you’re talking about a 15 yr old child whose entire life was uprooted! This is not even in line with who your character is supposed to be!) but after that scene/visit to the shadow market, he’s defined by his friendship with the twins. I’m sure if things had been different, Jace wouldn’t have hesitated to take him in and care for him at the NY institute, but Jace was absent for most of LOS!

(5) Both the Blackthorn AND fandom expected entirely too much of Kit and I, for one, am glad that he was presented with the chance to leave the LA institute. I’m sad he and Ty ended their friendship on such a bad note but Kit was headed towards complete dependency on Ty and Ty did not understand how immense a power he had over Kit. I doubt their configuration as it was would have ended in a healthy relationship

(6) (not when one party trails in the other’s wake like a shadow and is defined by him/his wants/needs). Anyway, that got long but I am still frustrated by how QOAAD treated Kit and how the fandom reacted to his decision to leave.

—————————————————————————————

OH MY GOD, Anon, I applaud you. YES, every word you said, YES!

And you know who I’m most angry with? Emma. She was the one he came for help, she was the one who was with him when his father died and everything in his life broke to pieces. She was also the one he saved in the end of QOAAD, and did we see a tiny note of regret? Of concern for him after that five seconds with Jem when it was fucking too late? Jem told her again and again that he was important, if only for that and not for the sake of taking care of an abandoned child - be there for him. But she wasn’t.

Every single one of these characters (which I love, don’t get me wrong) are self absorbed in a way that makes me wanna rip my hair off. The only thing that got close to it was how Simon was treated in TMI (something that pissed me off too), but Simon was older, he didn’t suffer what Kit had, he had an objective and different perspective of life, and unlike him - Simon had Clary. Through everything, she always cared for him and saw him for who he was.

Kit got attention from the twins, which was awesome, but think about everything that just happened to him - HE NEEDS MORE THAN JUST FUCKING FRIENDS, ALRIGHT?! He needs support, he needs someone to see beyond his pretense. Sure, he’s a Herondale through and through, he’s brave and stupid and with an unbelievably open heart.. but he’s a 15 years old kid, and the grownups around him - YES DIANA, I’M TALKING TO YOU, should have seen beyond that “I’m good” facade.

I actually didn’t really expect anything from Julian.. he’s amazing, don’t get me wrong, but he’s a difficult character.. His morals are questionable for a reason, and it doesn’t seem like he’s up for caring about someone else at the moment. Just think about it, Christina was there with them for a while, and he only saw her as important because she was dear to Emma. He’s not someone who loves or opens up easily. I’m also angry about how he didn’t push things with Ty enough when he started feeling again and stuff.. but it’s hard to resent him for that, a night before a war and all.. but everything about that situation was so frustrating. It’s like all of them are walking around with their eyes covered and pretend they don’t notice when they fucking trip on shit every ten seconds.

I’m also glad, really glad, that Kit got out of there. They are wonderful people, but it would have taken them a lot of time to start treating him like part of them, or even see him and his needs. He deserves Jem and Tessa. He deserves the best parents, the best possibilities, the best future he could have.

And when it’s time for him and Ty to reunite - HE WILL BE HIS OWN AMAZING PERSON, not anybody’s shadow anymore.. because he was given that chance - to explore and grow into. They will be able to really know each other and work through their past pain in a way that they never could have had if he stayed..

And that, my friend, will blow our minds (and Ty’s. Cause come one.. it’s Kit 💙)

I’ve been in burn out since the beginning of march, but it doesn’t matter because I have to finish the semester, so I’m crashing out in small increments 🫠🫠🫠

These books are my ride or die ❤️‍🔥

You might think I'm normal but I actually have an unhealthy obsession with the never ending saga of unnecessarily attractive queer demon-slayers who solve generational trauma with swords, sarcasm, tragic love triangles and making-out-in-the-middle-of-war. Or best seller YA series "The Shadowhunter Chronicles" by former fanfic writer Cassandra Clare as some might call it.

I lied. It's not just obsession. It's actually the sole reason I'm still alive.

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 👏 and thank you, I feel seen 🫶

happy autism awareness day to all the girls who had “ friends” growing up who were actually bullying them . to the girls who always sat alone in the grass and wondered why nobody wanted to talk . to the girls who spoke to animals like they were listening . to the girls who created a little world in their room . to the girls who always felt ashamed for how deeply they love things and how passionately they enjoyed media . to the girls who covered their ears when they were overwhelmed by everything . to the girls who carrying a special thing around to feel safe . to the girls who never understood what they did wrong to feel so lonely . to the girls who were diagnosed later in life because they weren’t little boys who liked trains. you are so special and beautiful and you’re not worse for it, you love deeply and that is so wonderful please never try to push that down . I LOVE YOU !!!!!

LITERALLY. *snaps aggressively in agreement*

don’t know why some people still feel the need to make either kit or ty the bad guy in the year 2025 😭😭 The real enemy is miscommunication. Go get her ass instead.

Boy with zero self worth who thinks he’s unlovable cause of his shit father confessing his love and hearing nothing in return vs autistic boy who lost his twin sister, the person he was closest to, and was trying to resurrect her in part because he thinks other boy was in love with her hearing this at the literal worst possible moment and not even understanding what he truly meant by it. Literally there is no way it could have ended well.

Not to mention they are 15 and everyone is entitled to be a walking disaster at 15, I don’t make the rules.

THISSS!! Ugh bro that is perfect analysis and I am OBSESSED with it!!! you took the words right out of my mouth :))

You know what my actual favourite Andrew Minyard line in the whole series is? It's not his sentimental lines like, "...from now until May you are still Neil Josten...". It's not even the best love confession in all of literature line, "Doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you." It's when he says "I'm not as smart as I thought I was."

That one line tells you so much about Andrew's character. That's the line that spells out for the reader that Andrew is smarter than he chooses to let on. That's the line that shows you just highly Andrew thinks of his own intelligence and how much he's been relying on it to survive and to keep his promises.

Consider that up until that point Andrew has presented himself with nothing less than the domineering kind of toughness you'd expect to see in a prison scene in a movie. He openly talks about breaking Neil, threatens multiple people with knives and makes everyone work around him. His "tough guy around town" persona and his ability to inflict violence is clearly something he prizes. AND YET. The first time he admits to any kind of dissatisfaction with himself, it's about his intelligence.

That is the point where the reader realizes that Andrew, in his own mind, is an intellectual. He doesn't actually pride himself on being the toughest guy in the room. He's aware that he's all of 5-feet-nothing and he knows at any given moment there's likely to be someone bigger and stronger than he is. What he's counting on in any given situation is being the smartest guy in the room. Fix any issues before they worsen, anticipate and eliminate any threats before they surface, think his way out of any problem that comes up. His intelligence is what he relies on to keep his promises.

That's the moment Andrew realizes that he's been letting his feelings get the better of his logic. He clocks Neil as dangerous from day one. But he's been telling himself that he's letting Neil stay for Kevin's sake or at least just until he can definitively prove Neil is dangerous. But the real reason he let Neil stay and get away with all his sketchy behaviour is because he let the fact that he likes Neil as a person, overcome his logic.

It makes you think, OH, THAT'S WHY Andrew was so interested in Neil in the first place. For someone who prides himself on his intelligence and KNOWS that no one else can match his smarts, Neil figuring out his twin switcheroo trick is the same as Neil throwing down the gauntlet and challenging him to a battle of wits. Andrew keeps trying to trip Neil up and Neil keeps batting his attempts aside and Andrew ends up helplessly charmed by Neil. Because Andrew LIKES that Neil is able to outsmart him sometimes, that Neil is his intellectual equal. And somewhere along the way, he's let himself forget that he "knows better" than to get emotionally attached, than to let someone else best him at his best quality- than to act like every other idiot in love that he's ever met.

You then realize that Andrew hasn't once thought of himself as brawny jock. That off-putting delinquent/school-shooter vibe and "psycho" reputation is a carefully calculated form of self-defense. It's self-defense in the literal sense of scaring off people who might want to fuck with him, but perhaps also in the sense of protecting himself from being seen. It makes sense, right? If people were to actually try to get to know him with an open mind, they'd soon discover that he IS difficult to get along with in ways they thought they could handle, but can't. Better to act the volatile asshole than suffer the disappointment of people changing how they treat him. And in the unlikely case that people find out that he isn't as tough as he presents himself, they might pity him. And that would be even worse. Much better to be as un-fuck-with-able as possible.

First time reading the book, I was taken in by Andrew's jock-ish façade. But the moment he admitted maybe he ought to be disappointed in himself for not being as smart as he thought he was, I had to set the book down and rethink every assumption I had made about Andrew as a character. The timing of that revelation is so perfect, because it happens just before the Thanksgiving mess. And so as the reader, you're suddenly coming to terms with the fact that Andrew is so much more vulnerable than he's ever portrayed himself to be at the same time that Andrew is being hit with probably one of the worst moments in his life. Like, that absolutely TOOK ME OUT. Which is why, that's one of the best lines in the whole series to me.

There’s only so many times someone can get burned before they just wanna give up. After a while it’s easier to just stop feeling or try to stop feeling (by suppressing) then to once again open yourself up to people only to be destroyed all over again

HERE'S MY HOT TAKE - Andrew Joseph Minyard does in fact care!

People who say Andrew honestly doesn't care about being included or wanted or appreciated or whatever in my opinion are misunderstanding Andrew.

What "doesn't care" really means for Andrew and people who adopt the same defense mechanism, is that he's actively choosing to take all his cares and wants and shoving them in a box labeled "Warning: Hazardous Emotions - Do Not Engage" and ignoring them with masterful levels of denial and obfuscation. But that doesn't mean the feelings go away. It just means he's suppressing them. Repressing them, even.

And yeah, even if he does start to get accepted and wanted and included by the other Foxes of whomever else (especially for being good at Exy), that doesn't mean Andrew will open the fucking box. He's no fool, he knows what happens when the rug gets pulled out from under you. How devastating that is. How earth shattering. Sure, they include him now. But that shits conditional, and he's never been good fitting into those.

Andrew does care, you guys. Just very very very deep down, and he's still trying to dig that shit deeper (on the off chance there's an endless chasm in there some where for those wantings to shrivel up and die. Alas, emotions don't work that way, but it wont stop him from trying)

It's not genuine lack of caring. It is the active repression of care. Not the same, your honor.

And sure, that level of commitment to Not Wanting and thus Not Caring does translate to steadfast dismissal and rejection of inclusion and whatnot, but that shit stems from not being willing to take a chance. Fool me once, twice, thrice - Never Again. Reject you first and you can't reject me later, checkmate bitches.

Andrew opened that box for Neil, but not wholly intentionally. Word of God (Nora) says that shit was an accident, and he resigned himself to the open box of his Feelings after Baltimore. Word of God also says if Neil had died then That Was It. Tea candle in a dark room blown out, total darkness type shit.

Andrew does care, he just tries really fucking hard not to think about it, and even harder not to act on it, in every case except one.

But the best part? He still fucking fails. Aaron, Nicky, Kevin, Renee, Bee, Wymack? Fuck, even Sir Fat Cat McCatterson and King Fluffkins. Very hard to keep the Box Closed, turns out. Shit keeps leaking. People keep sticking their goddamn fingers in. Turns out he can't fucking read his own signs. Fuck.

Andrew does care. He just does so silently, and with great reluctance, lots of teeth pulling, and deeply rooted denial.

But it's okay. He has a therapist.

This makes my heart happy

andrews favorite things ((whether or not he wants to admit it))

ice cream

hot cocoa at bee's office

his car

his knives

the friend he stole them from

speaking of, his weekly sparring sessions with renee

the satisfaction of thwarting someones shot on his goal and hearing the crowd go wild

treks to eden's twilight with his family/team after a win

roadtrips with no set destination, just him and neil and the open road

rooftop kisses

the way neil carefully maps out his body bit by bit, only as andrew allows it

unexpectedly, his late-night practices with kevin and neil

neil, who said he never wants this to end