This Makes My Heart Happy

That’s all I want in life, to see them reunited and speaking again

*throws like a hot potato and hides*

There’s only so many times someone can get burned before they just wanna give up. After a while it’s easier to just stop feeling or try to stop feeling (by suppressing) then to once again open yourself up to people only to be destroyed all over again

HERE'S MY HOT TAKE - Andrew Joseph Minyard does in fact care!

People who say Andrew honestly doesn't care about being included or wanted or appreciated or whatever in my opinion are misunderstanding Andrew.

What "doesn't care" really means for Andrew and people who adopt the same defense mechanism, is that he's actively choosing to take all his cares and wants and shoving them in a box labeled "Warning: Hazardous Emotions - Do Not Engage" and ignoring them with masterful levels of denial and obfuscation. But that doesn't mean the feelings go away. It just means he's suppressing them. Repressing them, even.

And yeah, even if he does start to get accepted and wanted and included by the other Foxes of whomever else (especially for being good at Exy), that doesn't mean Andrew will open the fucking box. He's no fool, he knows what happens when the rug gets pulled out from under you. How devastating that is. How earth shattering. Sure, they include him now. But that shits conditional, and he's never been good fitting into those.

Andrew does care, you guys. Just very very very deep down, and he's still trying to dig that shit deeper (on the off chance there's an endless chasm in there some where for those wantings to shrivel up and die. Alas, emotions don't work that way, but it wont stop him from trying)

It's not genuine lack of caring. It is the active repression of care. Not the same, your honor.

And sure, that level of commitment to Not Wanting and thus Not Caring does translate to steadfast dismissal and rejection of inclusion and whatnot, but that shit stems from not being willing to take a chance. Fool me once, twice, thrice - Never Again. Reject you first and you can't reject me later, checkmate bitches.

Andrew opened that box for Neil, but not wholly intentionally. Word of God (Nora) says that shit was an accident, and he resigned himself to the open box of his Feelings after Baltimore. Word of God also says if Neil had died then That Was It. Tea candle in a dark room blown out, total darkness type shit.

Andrew does care, he just tries really fucking hard not to think about it, and even harder not to act on it, in every case except one.

But the best part? He still fucking fails. Aaron, Nicky, Kevin, Renee, Bee, Wymack? Fuck, even Sir Fat Cat McCatterson and King Fluffkins. Very hard to keep the Box Closed, turns out. Shit keeps leaking. People keep sticking their goddamn fingers in. Turns out he can't fucking read his own signs. Fuck.

Andrew does care. He just does so silently, and with great reluctance, lots of teeth pulling, and deeply rooted denial.

But it's okay. He has a therapist.

he is the moment 😩

artists: @cassandrajean, @parcai and @aliceduke

I’M OBSESSED WITH THIS

My Kink Is Karma - AFTG ANIMATIC

LITERALLY. *snaps aggressively in agreement*

don’t know why some people still feel the need to make either kit or ty the bad guy in the year 2025 😭😭 The real enemy is miscommunication. Go get her ass instead.

Boy with zero self worth who thinks he’s unlovable cause of his shit father confessing his love and hearing nothing in return vs autistic boy who lost his twin sister, the person he was closest to, and was trying to resurrect her in part because he thinks other boy was in love with her hearing this at the literal worst possible moment and not even understanding what he truly meant by it. Literally there is no way it could have ended well.

Not to mention they are 15 and everyone is entitled to be a walking disaster at 15, I don’t make the rules.

This has me kicking my feet in joy lol

The foxhole court, chapter fourteen

" A group of people shouldered their way up to the bar counter at Neil's back, pushing him into Andrew. Andrew didn't budge beneath his weight. He was something solid to lean against, something violent and fierce and unmoving. Neil couldn't remember what it felt like to have someone hold him up. It was terrifying and liberating all at once. His life was out of his control now; he was giving it to Andrew and hoping Andrew would keep it safe. "

A classic. A must. Hope it doesn't disappoint the expectations. Planning on doing more little doodles like that until the animatic is finished.

I’m not okay bro UGHHHH

i love parallels

it’s so poetic that Clary’s first rune was made by Jace (her love interest) and Kit’s was made by Ty (also his love interest). the saga started like that and will end like that.

Plus Jem and Tessa treated him like their child and they gave him the love and support that he needed and never really had (especially from a parental figure). Similarly in ghosts of the shadow market, Kit told Jem that he didn’t feel like anybody really loved him and I think he would’ve continued feeling like that if he stayed at the Los Angeles institute, he needed Jem and Tessa to show him through time and effort that he was worthy of love and he needed space, patience and a sense of safety to even allow for any internal healing to begin. And to learn about who he was outside of his trauma and his past.

(1) OMG I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE HAS FINALLY ADDRESSED KIT’S NEGLECT AT THE LA INSTITUTE. If it wasn’t for his pov and his friendship with Ty, I wouldn’t have noticed he was there. People only see him as Ty’s friend and confidant, his ‘shadow’. They entrusted Ty’s well-being to him (Mark saying that Kit is the one Ty wants etc) and even Dru ended up defending Ty’s action whereas she scorned Kit for lying to her (‘maybe it’s better he’s gone’). +

(2) Kit was and remained an outsider and there’s that scene in QOAAD where Ty’s climbing the pyre and Kit starts after him but Diana holds him back and says something like ‘no, not YOU’, which, fair, Julian SHOULD be the one who goes after him, but it was also kind of ridiculous because the rest of the time, it was KIT who took care of Ty? That ‘not you’ (why did she have to word it like that!!) very much underlined Kit’s position as an outsider to the Blackthorn family

(3) and that’s only one of many scenes where he’s relegated to the sidelines. Like, you’ve got this kid whose sole remaining relative is off risking his life in Faerie and not a single adult thought hey, maybe we should make him feel more included/pay actual attention to him? There’s one scene in Lord of Shadows where Julian puts a hand on his shoulder to comfort him (and even that was spoiled by ‘what would jace do if I killed his cousin’ like hmmm

(4) hey, what the hell, you’re talking about a 15 yr old child whose entire life was uprooted! This is not even in line with who your character is supposed to be!) but after that scene/visit to the shadow market, he’s defined by his friendship with the twins. I’m sure if things had been different, Jace wouldn’t have hesitated to take him in and care for him at the NY institute, but Jace was absent for most of LOS!

(5) Both the Blackthorn AND fandom expected entirely too much of Kit and I, for one, am glad that he was presented with the chance to leave the LA institute. I’m sad he and Ty ended their friendship on such a bad note but Kit was headed towards complete dependency on Ty and Ty did not understand how immense a power he had over Kit. I doubt their configuration as it was would have ended in a healthy relationship

(6) (not when one party trails in the other’s wake like a shadow and is defined by him/his wants/needs). Anyway, that got long but I am still frustrated by how QOAAD treated Kit and how the fandom reacted to his decision to leave.

—————————————————————————————

OH MY GOD, Anon, I applaud you. YES, every word you said, YES!

And you know who I’m most angry with? Emma. She was the one he came for help, she was the one who was with him when his father died and everything in his life broke to pieces. She was also the one he saved in the end of QOAAD, and did we see a tiny note of regret? Of concern for him after that five seconds with Jem when it was fucking too late? Jem told her again and again that he was important, if only for that and not for the sake of taking care of an abandoned child - be there for him. But she wasn’t.

Every single one of these characters (which I love, don’t get me wrong) are self absorbed in a way that makes me wanna rip my hair off. The only thing that got close to it was how Simon was treated in TMI (something that pissed me off too), but Simon was older, he didn’t suffer what Kit had, he had an objective and different perspective of life, and unlike him - Simon had Clary. Through everything, she always cared for him and saw him for who he was.

Kit got attention from the twins, which was awesome, but think about everything that just happened to him - HE NEEDS MORE THAN JUST FUCKING FRIENDS, ALRIGHT?! He needs support, he needs someone to see beyond his pretense. Sure, he’s a Herondale through and through, he’s brave and stupid and with an unbelievably open heart.. but he’s a 15 years old kid, and the grownups around him - YES DIANA, I’M TALKING TO YOU, should have seen beyond that “I’m good” facade.

I actually didn’t really expect anything from Julian.. he’s amazing, don’t get me wrong, but he’s a difficult character.. His morals are questionable for a reason, and it doesn’t seem like he’s up for caring about someone else at the moment. Just think about it, Christina was there with them for a while, and he only saw her as important because she was dear to Emma. He’s not someone who loves or opens up easily. I’m also angry about how he didn’t push things with Ty enough when he started feeling again and stuff.. but it’s hard to resent him for that, a night before a war and all.. but everything about that situation was so frustrating. It’s like all of them are walking around with their eyes covered and pretend they don’t notice when they fucking trip on shit every ten seconds.

I’m also glad, really glad, that Kit got out of there. They are wonderful people, but it would have taken them a lot of time to start treating him like part of them, or even see him and his needs. He deserves Jem and Tessa. He deserves the best parents, the best possibilities, the best future he could have.

And when it’s time for him and Ty to reunite - HE WILL BE HIS OWN AMAZING PERSON, not anybody’s shadow anymore.. because he was given that chance - to explore and grow into. They will be able to really know each other and work through their past pain in a way that they never could have had if he stayed..

And that, my friend, will blow our minds (and Ty’s. Cause come one.. it’s Kit 💙)

I’ve been in burn out since the beginning of march, but it doesn’t matter because I have to finish the semester, so I’m crashing out in small increments 🫠🫠🫠