A Thousand Little Lies

Reblog this to place a small flower in the hair of prev, and that you're very proud of them

gUYS WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN. I have like. 5 posts. How is this a year old. what.

Fear, Part II

Is there a reason

You feel so alone

With all these people

Surrounding you?

The sun is shining

And the birds are out

Summer air against your skin

But it’s still winter inside.

You’re locked in a cage

Made up of your mind

The monsters are out

And they won’t rest.

Put on a smile

Don’t let them see

How many cracks

You have burning inside.

You can take another day

And your lungs will keep on moving

So focus on happy thoughts

And you’ll be fine.

But now the winter air is biting deep

And it’s getting hard to breathe

Through all this falling snow

And the beasts hunting you.

You’re pounding against the bars

In this cage you’ve made in your brain

But the howling wind and the blanket of snow

Are melding together and leaving you treading

This deepening water

An ocean of silence

That swallows your screams.

Take a deep breath

And paste the smile back on.

Focus on the happy thoughts

And take another pill.

If nobody wants to hear your words

That’s alright, you’ll be fine

Keep your mouth shut, you know,

Conform and don’t be crazy-

Others have it worse anyways.

You don’t remember when

Those pills began to stop

And now your heartbeat is racing

From the killers in your head.

It’s all so much

And now you must be insane

Because nobody else says a word

About suffering like this.

Your mask is far too much

A weight you can’t remove

You’re a bird with clipped wings

A flower with no stem.

You’re chained up in your own mind

Gagged by your own fear

Pills by the handful

Just to feel alive.

Time is fading to a fuzzy haze

The only constant this endless nightmare.

You just want to smile again

You just want to feel whole again!

Cause and effect but this is effect without a reason

What’s the cause, what’s the root

Of this sickened tree?

They ask if you’re afraid of death

Chastise you for these reckless thoughts

And tell you to just grow up.

So how do you tell them

That you’re not afraid of death anymore?

The hell in your head

Is so much worse

Than any hell a religion could offer.

You’re not afraid of the reaper

Or any judgmental god

You’re afraid

Of this life.

Silence is a blade

Cutting your skin

But words make the cuts

Sink all the deeper still.

Anything to end this pain

Anything to cut the chains

Holding you hostage to the demons inside

If heaven is real that’s not where you’ll go

Because this pit can’t be climbed out of

The walls are too sharp

And trying only broke your will.

Every moment of this hell

Is too much, it’s a crushing weight

Anything at all

To end this pain.

Life isn’t fair

And god, don’t you know it

You’re so tired

And the waters are deep

So maybe it’s time

To set you free.

Some commissioned articles

Embodiment of War, Shamura

Circles

I sit here

And in circles I go

Round and round this carousel

My mind and my heart at war

He loves me, he loves me not

I love me, I love me not

But the flower is just as confused.

I lay here

And in circles I go

Around and around and around

I can’t feel my soul and my heart is losing the fight

They love me, they love me not

I love me, I love me not

I’m out of flowers and I‘m just as lost.

I tumble down

And in circles I go

Round and round and round

I can’t breathe and my mind is screaming

He  loves me, he loves me not

I love me, I love me not

A roll of the dice away from something stupid

A spin away from losing my mind

I can’t put the shovel down

He loves me, he loves me not

I love me, I love me not

In circles and circles I go

Around and around this carousel ride.

WHY DID I REBLOG THIS ON THE 27TH.

DAY 15

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

I am not your daughter

I am not

I am not

I am not your daughter.

I am not

I am not

I am not your son.

There are so many times

I want you to see

How I am not

The person you think

But every time I open my mouth

You close off your heart

And now I’m always

In the wrong.

I will listen

I will speak

And I want you to hear me out

I am not

I am not

I am not your daughter.

I am not

I am not

I am not your son.

I will explain this to you

Till my face turns blue

And the stars go out tonight.

Give me a chance

To let you know

This is how I am.

I will listen

I will speak

And I want you to hear me out.

I am not

I am not

I am not your daughter.

I am not

I am not

I am not your son.

I won’t pick a side

For your own comfort

And let myself fade away.

I will learn

The language you speak

And I will preach this back to you.

I will listen

I will speak

And I want you to hear me out.

I am not

I am not

I am not your daughter.

I am not

I am not

I am not your son.

This picture, but it's baby Konrad, still not knowing how to walk and talk, crawling up to a recently killed person and curling up next to them, to soak up what little of the warmth their corpse still has and to pretend like he is being held by a loving parent.