We’re So Evolved But So Primitive.

Who Am I ?

Poisoned by the bonds that ties.

Your inner self is so shy.

Hiding behind a culture’s eyes.

If you don’t follow the dotted lines, you get the evil eye.

You conform cause your faults are magnified.

Tired of hearing your own cries, you find a mask to disguise.

Your identity losing supply.

Who I am?

Shame

All I feel is shame.

Suppose to be the next big thing.

It was all in my genes but I can’t fulfill that dream.

It got me going through the motions.

Handing out potions.

During a lot of healing so I won’t feel.

A coping skill to distract me from the chills I get.

It goes hand and hand with the liquor I sip.

Hiding behind it’s lit so I can keep pouring it.

Drowning myself cause I’m tired of the reality of it.

It keeps downing me and I keep doubting me.

Overthinking cause I don’t know what you think of me.

Do you hear my pleads as I scream.

Or is it only in my mind?



Missing Spots

I can’t get it off my mind.

It been going on for years.

Losing who we care.

People saying they’re there but who really cares?

It’s two different things.

Tired of hearing same things.

Sorry for your lost.

They’re always in your heart like my heart didn’t stop.

Like it’s not missing spots.

Anxiety

Anxiety, enlighten me.

Why are you always attacking me?

When I’m at my highest, you bring me down to my lowest.

I fall to pieces.

My thoughts in shambles.

Inside me, uneasy.

Please take it easy.

You been apart of me for so long but do me so wrong.

You’re so toxic and you don’t even hide it.

Proud to belittle me since I was little me.

I want to hide with in me but I’m so silly, that’s were you always meet me.

You’re so needy.

Becoming more and more greedy.

Appearing when I make appearance.

Room full of people and I see you glaring.

Waiting for my emotions to start flaring.

I wish we can start sparring, I’m tired of this feeling.

I need some healing.

Fragile

I know you’ve been hurt.

Years of your emotions being dispersed.

Hardly handled with care.

All your fears being amplified from a significant that’s suppose to crystallize your worth.

Instead they impede your growth.

Leading you on when they have an unquenchable thirst.

Dragging your feelings through the dirt while they plant seeds all across the earth.

Soul ties from holes you never been expose to.

Now you’re all vulnerable.

Hiding behind a blunt or a few.

Taking shots to escape the view.

Blacking out so you can’t feel what you been through.

Your pain is visible.

I can see it all in your eyes.

It’s okay, you let it out.









Impression

Born in a less than ideal situation.

Having to find a way to elevate when you only see devastation.

Learning to be a better person when you only see questionable foundations.

And don’t you dare think differently.

You’ll be singled out and shamed.

Stay in a child's place is all they paint until it’s stained.

What you speak will cross everyone's ear frames.

Can’t even be confined to a parent.

Your feelings will be displayed on a canvas and they wonder why our trust vanished.

Now opening up is so phantom.

Their lack of loving, patience, and directions makes us less equipped for future relations.

Choosing yelling over communication.

Leaving us with no understanding of our transgressions.

Not knowing who we become is a reflection of their lack of preparation.

Forcing us to grow up too early.

Not mentally but with responsibilities.

Hindering our possibilities.

Encasing us in their own Insecurities.

Highlighting similarities from a parent with ongoing hostilities.

Basing our capabilities on theirs.

That ain’t fair.

We ain’t ask to be here, we’re products of two toxic pairs who don’t know how to actually care.

Ain’t saying the love ain’t there but there’s certain ways a child needs to be love that parents are unaware.

Fatherless

You set the stage then vacated but your shadow still eclipses me.

Your path or mine, them lines are blurred.

I want to walk in your footsteps but who am I personally?

I took my mind from my body and thought how come we never spoke but I’m always talking to you.

I don't cry but its like I'm always shedding tears for you.

I started balling so we can be closer.

Looking to stands but every time, your seat empty.

Deep down, I'm empty. 

Suppose to be here but shots rang out.

Your bloody body, dropping, replaying like it’s the gamer winner.

Another black fatherless child.

It’s endless.

Senseless.

They asking why I’m so distant.

You was put in hearse before I learned how to mourn.

I’m still so torn.

Never lose sight

Black is beauty.

Dark is elegant.

Loving how the sun bounce of your melanin.

What you telling em. Radiant, nothing less than.

No degrading, only praising.

Severance for mental separation.

For the years looking for acceptance, second guessing.

You’re a blessing and you shine every second.

Relish in your skin.

You are cherished.

Never change for someone’s prejudice.

Lost

I lost the hunger but still have the love.

Split between the two.

Who I was and who I am.

Trying to find a common, that area filled with caution.

Is that trauma or am I just hiding ?

Hiding from the fact I can’t reach certain heights.

Is this lack of preparation or perspective ?

Im destined but my story is still being written.

I can choose any path but I don’t have no sense of direction.

I am lost.



Super Women

You can be vulnerable, that don’t make you weak.

Wearing a cape for so long you forget about your needs.

Your soul needs to feed.

What you see on the feeds only impedes,

Take your own lead.

Dismiss the stares and whispers.

You can can cry yourself a river.

No need to hold on, that only makes you bitter.

Remember those figures that didn’t listen to your tears but expected you to wipe theirs.

You gave your all but it’s never returned.

Going on like reruns.

Using and abusing, Never no healing.

When will it be done.

You carried a ton.