Missing Spots

yo. tell me about where you from. if you don't mind

I’m from New York

The Stars

I look to the star, they don’t shine the same.

I want be a star but the spark is not the same.

Passionate to passionless.

Losing sight of who I am.

Only seeing the scars.

Feeling what I lost.

This pain is not for sport.

Midnight

At night is when the darkness come to flirt.

It’s jealous of your joy.

It hopes to destroy with no remorse.

In torch your thoughts.

Exposing your faults.

Depleting your source.

Your endorphins running thin.

Walls closing in.

These mental wars has no end.

Want to scream for help but no one understand.

Nor do they care to give a damn.

This pain is in command.

Now you’re sitting in a pool of your own sweat.

Living through all your regrets.

Within yourself you digress.

Your stress take center stage.

Putting on a show for the ages.

Taking a bow for your devastation.

Lost

I lost the hunger but still have the love.

Split between the two.

Who I was and who I am.

Trying to find a common, that area filled with caution.

Is that trauma or am I just hiding ?

Hiding from the fact I can’t reach certain heights.

Is this lack of preparation or perspective ?

Im destined but my story is still being written.

I can choose any path but I don’t have no sense of direction.

I am lost.



Super Women

You can be vulnerable, that don’t make you weak.

Wearing a cape for so long you forget about your needs.

Your soul needs to feed.

What you see on the feeds only impedes,

Take your own lead.

Dismiss the stares and whispers.

You can can cry yourself a river.

No need to hold on, that only makes you bitter.

Remember those figures that didn’t listen to your tears but expected you to wipe theirs.

You gave your all but it’s never returned.

Going on like reruns.

Using and abusing, Never no healing.

When will it be done.

You carried a ton.



Impression

Born in a less than ideal situation.

Having to find a way to elevate when you only see devastation.

Learning to be a better person when you only see questionable foundations.

And don’t you dare think differently.

You’ll be singled out and shamed.

Stay in a child's place is all they paint until it’s stained.

What you speak will cross everyone's ear frames.

Can’t even be confined to a parent.

Your feelings will be displayed on a canvas and they wonder why our trust vanished.

Now opening up is so phantom.

Their lack of loving, patience, and directions makes us less equipped for future relations.

Choosing yelling over communication.

Leaving us with no understanding of our transgressions.

Not knowing who we become is a reflection of their lack of preparation.

Forcing us to grow up too early.

Not mentally but with responsibilities.

Hindering our possibilities.

Encasing us in their own Insecurities.

Highlighting similarities from a parent with ongoing hostilities.

Basing our capabilities on theirs.

That ain’t fair.

We ain’t ask to be here, we’re products of two toxic pairs who don’t know how to actually care.

Ain’t saying the love ain’t there but there’s certain ways a child needs to be love that parents are unaware.

This was so beautiful

dear daughter, this is for the day when you first stand in the shower, with eyes producing more water than the shower itself, and try to scrub your skin off. using all your might as if they were the chains you were once bound too and desperately need to free yourself from. firstly honey, your black is neither burden nor boundary it is a key that reveals so many treasures if you’d just persevere until you find the right doors. what are you trying to do with your caramel coloured skin of soft buttery texture that has been churned through generations of hardships to produce this fine product of supreme quality called you? don’t you know your hair is an enchanted forest, each kink and curl creating it’s own unique magic to keep your well deserved crown in place? my baby, you are royalty and ignore the white’s dictionary definition of humility, it is not stripping yourself of your crown to avoid being the subject of jealously and envy. that big, beautiful forehead of yours is filled with a lifetime of substantial knowledge and always be proud of your luscious lips that reflect the enormity of love you have to share. don’t be afraid of your already thick thighs in preparation for the day they become your own daughter’s pillow to cry into and confess all her secrets too. finally my star, have i not always showed you how bright you glow, so why did you allow them to burn you out? if i could not make you love yourself, open your eyes to see how beautiful you truly are then how could you give them permission to teach you how to hate your black then learn the lesson so well?

Trap Door

A cold breeze covering my chest, Sending chills down my spine.

Watching what we had fading like time easing.

Thought we were ever lasting but you’re forever changing.

Going from everything I want to nothing I need.

Should of listened to my friends, they saw it coming like a prophet.

Telling me to put my feelings in pocket.

Stay solid.

Watch who you fall for, but I can’t help who I fall for.

It’s like a trap door.

Stuck between these floors.

Can’t escape these flaws.

It’s like I’m coming home from war.

Post dramatic stress.

I don’t get a lot of rest cause when I see the sun set, I see you.

Who Am I ?

Poisoned by the bonds that ties.

Your inner self is so shy.

Hiding behind a culture’s eyes.

If you don’t follow the dotted lines, you get the evil eye.

You conform cause your faults are magnified.

Tired of hearing your own cries, you find a mask to disguise.

Your identity losing supply.

Who I am?

Anxiety

Anxiety, enlighten me.

Why are you always attacking me?

When I’m at my highest, you bring me down to my lowest.

I fall to pieces.

My thoughts in shambles.

Inside me, uneasy.

Please take it easy.

You been apart of me for so long but do me so wrong.

You’re so toxic and you don’t even hide it.

Proud to belittle me since I was little me.

I want to hide with in me but I’m so silly, that’s were you always meet me.

You’re so needy.

Becoming more and more greedy.

Appearing when I make appearance.

Room full of people and I see you glaring.

Waiting for my emotions to start flaring.

I wish we can start sparring, I’m tired of this feeling.

I need some healing.