Long Run

Diamonds

My emotions in a gutter.

Struggling to recover but I smile, it stop all the questions.

They can’t relate to the hurting of my essence.

Miss using my presence.

Saying I’m precious but only when I have blessings.

Never when I’m looking for guidance.

I’m sinking under the weight of the world.

All this pressure but can’t make diamonds.

Who Am I ?

Poisoned by the bonds that ties.

Your inner self is so shy.

Hiding behind a culture’s eyes.

If you don’t follow the dotted lines, you get the evil eye.

You conform cause your faults are magnified.

Tired of hearing your own cries, you find a mask to disguise.

Your identity losing supply.

Who I am?

Tell me three completely random things about yourself.

I’m 6’4, a psychology major and I want to bring people together through writing!

I’m here to showcase my writing I hope you enjoy

We’re so evolved but so primitive.

Powerful but still so broken.

A part of us is still stolen but it’s like we chosen to forget.

Masking it with hate and anger.

Our spirit is in danger.

Corrupted by different pigments or higher shades.

We are caged.

Not with bars but in our minds.

Boundaries higher than the Everest climb.

They would hate to see us at our prime so they attacked our pride.

Demoralize.

Then cast a gaze over our eyes.

And we think we’re alright cause we have fabric from different lands or material from deep within the land.

Unknown that we’re in quicksand without a branch .

Anxiety

Anxiety, enlighten me.

Why are you always attacking me?

When I’m at my highest, you bring me down to my lowest.

I fall to pieces.

My thoughts in shambles.

Inside me, uneasy.

Please take it easy.

You been apart of me for so long but do me so wrong.

You’re so toxic and you don’t even hide it.

Proud to belittle me since I was little me.

I want to hide with in me but I’m so silly, that’s were you always meet me.

You’re so needy.

Becoming more and more greedy.

Appearing when I make appearance.

Room full of people and I see you glaring.

Waiting for my emotions to start flaring.

I wish we can start sparring, I’m tired of this feeling.

I need some healing.

Purest

Your the purest skin but treated like the latter.

And black man we scattered.

My perception of us has shattered.

We suppose to be kings who uplift our queens but lately we been leading them to disaster.

And all I hear is laughter.

Jokes and games like we all wasn’t in chains.

We should be put to shame but we can never see the errors in ways.

We’re men, this how we’re train.

We received praise for what slay.

Never taught restraint.

How to deal with pain.

This is probably why we reciprocate in harsh ways.

Projecting it on our beautiful reflections.

Choosing lighter complexion cause they don’t call us out on our lack of direction.

I will never understand this disconnection.

I will never get the lack rage.

This boil the blood in my veins.

How we allow them to stand alone through all their agony and pain.

Down play all their accolades cause we hate to see them be great.

Hate see them achieve more than what we can equate.

What we bring to plate would deflate any mate who choose to engage.

Instead of upgrade we display hate to heal our ego that’s already in fragile state.

Then when we flip the tape and blame it on their traits.

The way we manipulate, irritates.

It’s time for a change of pace.

Truly love

My phone don’t ring but everybody loves me.

When I’m distant, all I hear I’m moving funny.

Questioning my silence but my body language speaks loudly.

If you loved me you would see that my mind is cloudy.

That my eyes is forecast for rain but I’m forcing delays.

That my energy is off it’s relay.

That my demons are having a field day.

I can’t shake the thoughts I’m having these days but I aspect someone who loves me to detect.

Sometimes you have to detach to reattach.

Isolate to medicate but no one understands that.

They want you to shine through all your darkness.

Evaluate them while you’re deteriorating on the inside but they love you.

How could you love me and not sense my imbalance.

Maybe it’s the mask I’m wearing but I thought love can conquer all.

Why couldn’t your love slip through the cracks?

Have a flanking attack or is that to much to ask?

Maybe you don’t truly love me.

Midnight

At night is when the darkness come to flirt.

It’s jealous of your joy.

It hopes to destroy with no remorse.

In torch your thoughts.

Exposing your faults.

Depleting your source.

Your endorphins running thin.

Walls closing in.

These mental wars has no end.

Want to scream for help but no one understand.

Nor do they care to give a damn.

This pain is in command.

Now you’re sitting in a pool of your own sweat.

Living through all your regrets.

Within yourself you digress.

Your stress take center stage.

Putting on a show for the ages.

Taking a bow for your devastation.

Lost

I lost the hunger but still have the love.

Split between the two.

Who I was and who I am.

Trying to find a common, that area filled with caution.

Is that trauma or am I just hiding ?

Hiding from the fact I can’t reach certain heights.

Is this lack of preparation or perspective ?

Im destined but my story is still being written.

I can choose any path but I don’t have no sense of direction.

I am lost.