It's Okay If It Takes A Little Longer Than You Thought.

“We don’t have to understand nature to appreciate it. This is true of all things. Simply be aware of moments when your breath gets taken away by something of great beauty.”

— Rick Rubin, The Creative Act: A Way of Being (Penguin Press, January 17, 2023)  (via A Layman’s Blog)

how to smile

throttle all the sobs

the knots

the not-enoughs

the crumbs, the problems

caught up in the loss

and thoughts which cross along the bottom

rotten crops to harvest noxious garbarge

starving out, atrocity and doubt, unpardoned

tout the heartless harbingers, unfound

a botched rebounding

all the rot and rubble, huddled up around

the floundered flotsam, drowning

struggle-bussing, cuddle-lust resounding

subtle sinking, drowning

down and out, i doubt the

pound-for-pound

surrounded, shouting, drinking in

the blinking end of all i've found

dandelions

the dandelions are back

spring still feels so far, but the dandelions are back

the world may be bleak

but the dandelions have returned

last year i made a flower crown

there aren't enough yet, but at least they're there

yellow peeking out in the corner of my eye

at last, the dandelions are back

mothers & daughters

i wish my mother liked me more

i know she loves me

she has to

i just wish she likes me sometimes

i wish i was all the things she wanted in a daughter

instead of all the things she didn't

i wish she liked me more

than she likes her religion

i wish i liked my mother more

i try, i really do

i just can't help but roll my eyes, sometimes

or sigh when she asks a question

i wish i could see past her flaws

or even love her in spite of them

i wish i could break the cycle

and yet around and around it goes

One day I will stop falling in love with you. Until I do, I'll be thinking of you.

k.b. // laufey, philharmonia orchestra - let you break my heart again

time wasnt right

there is dust

in my childhood bedroom

cobwebs span the corners

reaching out

to touch

the abandoned walls

everything is covered in dust

my books

my floor

my collections, long since abandoned

touch anything and you'll

come away

with gray residue

reminiscent of a life once lived

only

i am still here

living

right?

or am i, too

covered in dust

a relic

of a former girl

this isnt how life is supposed to be

disappointment

when my phone buzzes

and it is his name

and not hers

you told me that daisies

are your favorite flower

and i had to fight the urge

to plant a bouquet

of them in my lungs.

i want to cough up

petals and stems

when you smile at me.

i want to be so full of

your favorite things

that i forget how to breathe.

-mars

SESTINA FOR A HEALED WOUND