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If I was one of the omegaverse omegas I would just get a hysterectomy. Who has time to deal with all that shit just spay my ass

to be fair to Cain if nobody had ever died before and I didn't know it was possible I would probably also hit my brother over the head with a rock if he was being really annoying

"oatmeal kicks ass but ITS NOT A FUCKING CEREAL"

"IT IS A CEREAL DREW"

unfortunate series of events at the charity gala

constantly switching between “this is MY tumblr and i post whatever i want” and “oghg  god . oh my god. okh god. okay. im going to talk abt. an interest now. im so sorry.”

ayo who’s going to the tumblr sponsored crab rave

if u put a cake under a box propped up by a stick tied to a string i will go for it without hesitation. i am aware i will get trapped but it feels nice to be wanted sometimes

made these a while ago, figured they were tumblr worthy teehee 🤭

i mean this from the bottom of my heart: no one is impressed by your loud ass car. actually we talked about it and we all want you dead.

my mom expressed worries abt me "being lonely" without a romantic relationship as if the hoes don't love my strange and off-putting energy