Salim: [takes A Deep Breath] Today Is Gonna Be A Good Day

Jason: You're wearing makeup.

Salim: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Jason: Looks... okay, I guess.

*later*

Jason, sobbing into Nick's shoulder: IT LOOKED SO GOOD!

Nick: I know, Jason.

Jason: I'M SO GAY!

Nick: I know, Jason.

Eric: Okay, give me a topic.

Jason: 9/11.

Nick: The olympics!

Joey: The 9/11 olympics!

Eric: Alright, so my choices are-

Merwin: They hit the THIRD tower, it's a world record!!

Jason: We can’t have Salim come to his party yet. The sign’s not finished- it’s supposed to say ‘Salim’s Birthday’

Nick: What does it say now?

Jason: ‘Salim’s Bi’.

Jason:

Jason: Nevermind, that’s perfect. We’re ready!

friend referred to Jason as Male Wife Two-One Actual the other day and I still haven't recovered

Nick: Jason, you're obviously on some sort of non-vampire related self-discovery journey right now, and as your friend, I'm going to pull out my best tools to help you.

Nick: *opens new tab and types "am I gay quiz" into the search bar*

Nick: Hey we should do this insane dangerous thing that would get us all killed!

Jason: My beautiful baby angel child who can do no wrong, you are usually right but in this case I'm going to have to ask you to sit this one out.

Nick: Aw, okay :(

Eric: Or, we could-

Jason: *shoots him dead*

Jason when he disagrees with Nick: I’m sorry buddy, but no.

Jason when he disagrees with Eric:

The legend of the minecraft glow squid

*comes up to u & hands u a bottle of water but it looks like this*

Salim: Is this... normal for them?

Jason: Yeah, trust me, it's normal for everyone, hey Salim, do you wanna... get outta here?

Salim: And go where? Home? We just got here.

Jason: Right... wait did Merwin just come out-?

Merwin: Joey, I'm gonna pretend for a second that you're my wife and that we have children,

Jason: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Nick: Did Salim say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?

Jason: DUE TO PERSONAL REASONS–

Jason: Let's play twenty questions

Salim: Sure, what's your favorite color?

Jason: Circle. Are you into guys?