Jason: Yo Dumbass, Get Over Here.

Jason: I don’t think Rachel is very happy with you

Eric: why do you think that?

Jason, reading Eric’s phone: “Dear Eric, I hope this message finds you before I do.”

Nick: Is it just me or has Jason gotten smarter since he started fucking Salim?

Rachel: No, no, you're right. Is it some kind of STI?

Nick: Sexually Transmitted Intelligence.

Nick: C’mon, Jason. Why do you not like Eric?

Jason:

Jason: Have you ever met a man and it’s so obvious that no one in his life has ever told him to shut the fuck up?

Rachel:

Salim:

Nick, shrugging: Valid.

Jason’s whole character arc summed up

Jason: I suck at apologies, so...Unfuck you or whatever.

Salim: My body is a temple.

Jason: Open to anyone...?

Eric, teaching Jason to drive: Okay, you're driving and Salim and I walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? 

Jason: Oh, definitely you. I could never hurt Salim. 

Eric, massaging his temples: The brakes, Kolchek. You hit the brakes.

Nurse: You scored a 25/27 on your mental health questionnaire.

Jason: So that means I'm good at mental health, right?

*Crisis Counselor enters the room*

Jason: Ah, shit.

Zain: *watching TV*

Jason: Ah, you're watching Sailor Moon? I love that anime. The way they just–

Jason: *clenches fist*

Jason: Sail all those fricking moons.

Rachel: WhY does this hallway smell like dater-pe???

Nick: Merwin uses a really strong cologne.

Jason: Overactive sweat glands, you know how it is.

Merwin: I smell fine!!

Rachel: Shower. Now.

Jason: Do any of us have good relationships with our dads?

Nick: Well-

Eric: I do! I love my dad.

Rachel: You're like a disney adult about specifically that guy.

Eric: My dad's the best :)