Nick: Is It Just Me Or Has Jason Gotten Smarter Since He Started Fucking Salim?

Jason: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Salim.

Nick: Not everybody likes Salim.

Jason: Who doesn’t?

Nick: What?

Jason: Names, now. Give me their names.

Salim: Why the hell is there blood everywhere?

Vampire!Jason: Well, you see, it's simple color theory-

aaaaaaaaaaa

Hi I’m not out to like 90% of the people I know and I keep having to not only get deadnamed but deadname myself ahaha so can someone please just real quick call me Toby and by they/them pronouns? aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Jason: Are you a painting?

Salim: What-?

Jason: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

All of the confused marines: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG HIM OR SOMETHING-

Salim: Crushes are the worst.

Jason: Right. Whenever I'm near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid.

Salim: You're always acting stupid.

Jason: Yeah... don't think about that too hard.

Eric: You fight like my ex-wife!

Nick: I'm dating your ex-wife. That's a compliment.

*nick and eric start dating*

Rachel, bewildered: What the hell just happened? Jason: Something gay lmao Rachel: You’re gay

Salim: for me!

Merwin: Joey, I'm gonna pretend for a second that you're my wife and that we have children,

Jason: You're wearing makeup.

Salim: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Jason: Looks... okay, I guess.

*later*

Jason, sobbing into Nick's shoulder: IT LOOKED SO GOOD!

Nick: I know, Jason.

Jason: I'M SO GAY!

Nick: I know, Jason.

LMAO 

lol fangirl

im a dude...