Been Thinking Very Heavily About Donna Troy In Padme Looks

gay people from 2003 >>>>>

i love bi jason as much as the next guy but tbh gay jason just hits so hard for me.

jason reading his classic romances and subconsciously associating himself with the heroines getting swept off their feet by the dashing love interests. which could mean nothing.

most of his attempted relationships with women never get off the ground, and the 2 (ish) times they did, failure was swift and spectacular

people getting a vague impression via game of telephone that red hood is The Bad Boy Bat and, via extrapolation of that, expecting him to be Rolling In Bitches. and he simply is not. and he doesn't care to be. not even for reputational purposes.

and you know that our beloved king of emotional repression might be like hmm. kind of seems like sleeping with hot women is supposed to feel more exciting than this. guess i'm just broken. yeah that's definitely it.

like. jason todd vs internalised homophobia: battle of the century!!!!!!!

plus i want lesbian rose and gay jason to do the spiderman pointing meme

Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

~

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

~

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.

Whoops, I think I got the wrong Grayson

au in which jason is adopted by catwoman instead of batman and becomes stray

Everyone thinks Jason wears a domino mask under his helmet for the drama of it, but the real reason is because one time he sneezed wearing the helmet and it was the worst experience of his life.

He immediately started making the most grossed out horrified noises the gang member he had tied up had ever heard, and Roy doubled over laughing, completely giving up the intimidation factor they had had going.

They ended up getting nothing out of the guy and Jason immediately went home and designed a domino so he could throw the helmet off at any given moment while still hiding his identity. Roy still laughs whenever he thinks about it

Chapters: 3/5 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Roy Harper & Koriand'r & Jason Todd, Roy Harper & Jason Todd, Koriand'r & Jason Todd, past Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd, Past Dick Grayson/Roy Harper/Koriand'r, Roy Harper & Kon-El | Conner Kent & Koriand’r & Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Minor or Background Relationship(s), (a lot of) additional past/speculated/implied relationships in author's note Characters: Jason Todd, Roy Harper, Koriand'r (DCU), Kon-El | Conner Kent, Barbara Gordon, Dick Grayson, Other Character Tags to Be Added Additional Tags: Future Fic, Crack, Humor, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Sexual Humor, ← debated that tag. the humor is from who has had sex with whomst not the sex itself, if that makes sense, Established Relationship, Established Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Past Relationship(s), Jason Todd's Morbid Humor, Jason Todd Swears, Swearing, No Incest, Implied Sexual Content, Everyone is Bisexual, Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), Jason Todd-centric, Roy Harper Being a Little Shit, Koriand'r being a Little Shit

Summary:

hat-trick (noun) - the achievement of a generally positive feat three times in a match, or another achievement based on the number three.

“There’s plenty of people on two, sure,” Roy was saying. “Present company included. But three? No way.”

“Think about how many people have shared teams with them. If those other teams are anything like the Titans, someone surely has.” Kory’s tone was light, as if stating the obvious.

Jason ground his teeth and seriously considered the merits of another few hours in the supply closet.

Or: Roy, Kory and friends inflict immeasurable psychic damage upon one Jason Todd. If Jason has to hear another word about sex and his siblings uttered in the same breath, he’s gonna start shooting. Maybe himself. Anything to exit this conversation.

Chapter 3 Notes:

I am once again a lying liar who lies. This fic grew two extra chapters against my will. I don’t want to talk about it.

In other news…I used to think having two blorbos who don’t much like each other was a curse. This chapter taught me the error of my ways. Have fun!