There Was Love Between Us.

It's always the sun in someone's eyes that attracts the night in their hearts

We are a whole lifetime away.

Then why are we pretending to be closer?

With every hour that fades as the morning comes,

we move away from each other slowly.

Like the ticking of a tired clock,

the moments we stole are going too fast.

I never want to let go of your hand,

but when morning comes how do I make you stay?

I don't have any thing more to give you,

and all that you can say has already been said.

We knew we'll fade with the first sunrise.

But then why does letting go feel so much like dying.

I wish the night could stretch on for eternity.

Hold each other here under the soft moonlight.

We're meant to walk away from the other,

but our hearts can't help run back to each other.

There are a million stars in the sky tonight,

but there are a million more unshed tears in our eyes.

The horizon is starting to turn pink now.

Your hand is too warm to let go.

Sunrises are the most beautiful thing there is.

But not when it takes you away from me.

Let this sunrise come and go.

Maybe we can close our eyes and pretend the night is still young.

I look up to see his beautiful face.

His eyes are filled with fresh tears.

But there's a smile on his lips.

It seems so true and real.

Yet I know it's far from that.

When his voice cracks as he speaks,

a deep sadness washes over my being.

I can feel it spreading through me.

Touching every secret corner and creek.

I don't know what to do now.

Who do I take care of first, him or me?

I ask myself, as I hold his face with my shaking hands.

His tears are so warm as I wipe them away.

His smile fades and he falls onto me.

While he breaks in my arms quietly,

I let my tears fall finally.

There's only so much strength I have in me.

And I'll use every last bit to piece him back together.

Because I don't know how to be without him.

I don't know why I am, without him.

Without him, I stay a blue question mark.

With him, I'll be a warm full stop.

© Moonyloonywitch

All of this pain feels like it's been an eternity since I have been carrying them in my hands. I am tired now and can't walk anymore. Where do I bury the fragments of my heart?

The ghost of your skin is still warm on my palms. Your scent lingering in the spaces between my fingers. My eyes are still on the last place that held your shadow. You've disappeared through the door that's still open. I can't bring myself to shut it, for fear that I might lose you forever then.

The moment stretches on and I can't feel anything except for this dull thumping of my heart.

It was a mistake to hold you so close and kiss you with love. And it was an even bigger mistake to hope that you kiss back. Mistakes that cut off our red strings of fate. And now, like autumn leaves in the cool breeze, our souls are drifting apart, blown away from the other to lands far from this place.

Calling this heartbreak would be cruel. This feels like death.

As I feel the colours in me drain away along with the warmth inside, I know you've killed me with your absence. Or perhaps your presence all along...

I know you will never return.

You won't ever come back.

I won't see you ever again.

And I won't see this me ever again too.

The sky is still sleeping outside. And soon the love in me will go to sleep as well.

They say empty vessels make the most sound. But the screams of my soul only come out as whispers against the silence of this dawn.

I've lost you and I've lost myself.

As the sky turns to a mixture of greyish pink, I stand at the same spot you left me. Wondering why everyone says love is beautiful, when it has been a painful poison all along.

I listened to your song today.

Again and again.

Your voice is just the right amount of comfort I need.

The lyrics are words pulled out from your thoughts.

And I can't help but feel happy,

knowing I finally had a glimpse of your mind.

I think I haven't craved anything like this in forever.

Your thoughts are like magic.

It pulls me in closer,

and hugs me a little tighter.

Your thoughts are also like the night sky.

So beautiful, yet too far away to be true.

Music made by your hands,

blended with the sweet humming of your lips,

carefully speaks stories to the listener.

This is what a song should be.

Your songs are like ocean,

and everyone takes away what they can.

To be honest I hate that.

I wish you only sung for me.

I wish only I heard the sweet ramblings of your head.

I wish you wrote those lines for me.

I wish I could hide you from the world.

I am being selfish I know.

But I would gladly shout out to the world how selfish I am,

if it means you will sing to me forever.

I need your voice ringing through my bones,

until the universe disappears in the folds of nothingness.

© Moonyloonywitch

29/07/2021

10:57 am

Everything in this world has a place.

And more than often I feel like mine is beside you.

You tell me that you're loosing me a little bit each day.

How can I not feel lost, when you deny me of my home?

Where do I plant my heart, when you close the door to yours?

The worst battles of mine were about you, against myself,

being forever torn between wanting to stay and run away.

But as dawn approaches and the sun rises again,

I loose yet another fight.

I hope one day you can finally see me beside you.

One day, you will know that I've always been there.

That I never left, and never will.

Past lives flicker through my mind, as I stand gazing up at the moon. The night's pretty much silent, except for the slow rumbling of thunder in the distance. Every now and then, a cool breeze goes past me. I stand in the moonlight, waiting for a miracle.

You said you'd meet me here, under this old tree covered in moss. It's almost dawn now, and still no sign of you. I have second thoughts, debating whether to turn around and go. Maybe you meant it as a joke.

Afterall, gods never fall for beings beneath them.

Sighing quietly, I start walking back to my home. It was a waste of time, I realise now. I should've never trusted your words.

I pass the lavender patch, and a familiar fragrance hits me. Smiling at the full blooms around me, I sit down on the damp earth and close my eyes. The smell of lavender takes me back to my favourite memory. You sitting beside me as I laugh at your joke.

I open my eyes and find that my vision has blurred. I hate crying but that's all I wanna do right now. Feeling like stones sinking in my stomach, I lay my head in the ground and weep.

The night has become a tired dream, and the stars have gone and hid.

But when you slowly started wiping my tears away, I felt like the world was holding its breath. I sit up and lock eyes with you.

"I thought you wouldn't come" I said in a barely there whisper.

"I wanted to make sure that you were serious about this. About us." You replied in an equally quiet whisper.

"So you were testing me? " I ask with fresh tears in my eyes.

"Not really. More like I was testing myself. And I failed. When the first tear ran down your face, it felt like I was stabbed here." You take my hands and place it over your heart.

And surprisingly enough I felt it beat.

And that hasn't happened in a long time.

© Moonyloonywitch

26/08/2021

Honestly I don't know.

But maybe I love them because they feel like a part of me.

Like I am a puzzle and the pieces are scattered all over this world. As songs and paintings and poetry and plants. And like stars and moon and oceans and trees.

The things I love are the reflections of my soul.

Everything I've ever loved reminds me of who I once was or who I am. I love them because they feel like home. Like they are made of the same things that I was made from.

I love them simply because they make me, me.

Why do you love what you love?

Dreams are all that I have now.

All that which keeps me alive.

During the day and at night.

The push I need to breathe again.

Simply put I am up in the clouds.

Far from this world yet tied down to it.

Cursed rules and expectations locks my pretty feet.

Hands tied up with stupid facades.

They feed me normality.

My body doesn't like that so I return it.

All that comes from me are small whispers.

Names of cities and my favourite stories.

The bright constellations and beautiful flowers.

Perfect tea and old world libraries.

Scent of the moon and sound of the ocean.

Winter breaths and summer giggles.

Love for you and love for me.

Bleeding Gods and their sad lovers.

Deep poems and sweet music.

I am filled with the things I love.

And everytime you burn my soul,

You make a star glow.

Everytime you silence my voice,

Thunder rumbles over the mountains.

And when you think you've put me to sleep,

Think again before the moon comes out.

I may be filled with all things sweet and soft and nice.

But I've learned to fight over the years.

I'll let my wolves hunt tonight.

And they won't rest until all your dreams become nightmares.

And watch how I hold you in there forever.

A slave to your mind till the end of time.

© Moonyloonywitch

02/09/2021