JJ : An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away

JJ : If you could choose a reincarnation, what would it be ?

Garcia : A dog to still be a walking sun.

Morgan : A mosquito to annoy Emily.

Reid : A rat to disappear.

Hotch : I already used all of my lives with this team.

Emily : A butterfly.

JJ : They only live a few days.

Emily : That's the point.

Emily : There is a "hell" in "hello"

Morgan : There is an "end" in "friend"

Reid : There is a "lie" in "believe"

Garcia : There is a "cheese" in "cheeseburger"

Emily, Morgan, Reid :

Garcia, being sad : I wanted to join...

Emily, Morgan, Reid : There is a "cheese" in "cheeseburger".

Emily : "Feminine urge this", "Masculine urge that". Dude, the only urge I have is going feral.

Rossi, finding Reid laying face down on the floor : You okay ?

Reid : I'm depressed

Rossi : Lol me too

Rossi : Wait no, hi depressed, I'm dad.

Rossi : No- What's wrong ??

Therapist : And remember, you are your own worst enemy.

Reid, somehow proud : Undefeated dude

Emily : I just want someone to take me out

Spencer : Like on a date or with a sniper ?

Emily : Surprise me.

Emily : Once my baby was being annoying so I put it in the basement.

Emily : Then I forgot about it and decided that I didn't want a basement anymore, so I got rid of the door and decided that I will do the rest later. When child protective services came, they couldn't go in the basement, so they just chilled around in my house.

Therapist :

JJ, facepalm : She's talking about the Sims, please don't call the police.

Emily : I can't do it. It'd be against my moral code.

Morgan : Your moral code is a damn roulette wheel.

Morgan : Are you sure you're okay, Emily ? You've been acting funny all day.

Emily, with a big smile : Why wouldn't I be, in such a beautiful day, especially with you by my side my lovely friend ?

Morgan :

Morgan, running away : HOTCH, EMILY IS GOING TO BLOW UP

JJ : Why is Morgan hiding in my office ?

Reid : He broke his spaghetti before putting them in the water.

JJ : ..And ?

Reid : He did it in front of Rossi.

Rossi, bursting into JJ's office : COME HERE STRONZETTO-

Morgan : screams sharply and terrified