Thought Autocomplete Would Take Me To Outlook Dot Com Not Realising Id Forgotten The T Before I Pressed

Something I just need to get off my chest:

My boobs

i love my cat but he is very fond of trickery

blackberries are so good <- the start of my fruit reviewer career

She bodying on my temple till I hot damn!

People don't actually grow out of their emo phases. People are forced out of their emo phases by employers who get a raging boner over controlling how their employees dress, cut their hair, whether they mod their bodies and so on

when the mouse bites start kicking in

getting really into journaling is so fucked because you will fr end up with pages like "dear diary, it's fucken wimdy today!!!!! also I might be a talentless hack with no real creative drive or discipline to speak of. xoxo ✨"

If House and Wilson got together in the show there would be a scene where House walks out of a closet. A patient stares at him and House lifts his cane and says "oh my leg? You should see the other guy" and walks away. Five seconds later, Wilson scrambles out of the closet with his shirt unbuttoned, his hair sticking up in every direction, and his tie pulled down. He sees the patients shocked face and and says "uh. There was. Um. See you" before running away too

"I'm gay" "I'm straight" I'm down, pounding my head against the kitchen floor???? apologizing for my life and entering yours????

Guy who says “it’s my first time” before getting stabbed