Video Essays About Horror, Fear And Dread

People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it’s really such a shame.

An ant doesn’t start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness.

Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does.

It understands those markings are words, symbols with meaning, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then…

It’s an ant again.

Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life? The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters.

This is madness.

a collection of motivational insights regarding content creation and creative hobbies

and of course the classic

Pasta is great. It’s like hey, let me take delicious things like butter,or meat, or tomatoes or basil and then let me just fuckin mix whatever the fuck i want in and combine it with some random ass noodles.  That’s basically pasta.  BUT, there’s a big difference between “basically pasta” and “holy shit food of the gods” pasta, and that is that the latter has some rules that must be followed.  10 PASTA COMMANDMENTS COMIN UP:

Always boil pasta in boiling SALTED water. Ever had a dish where you forgot to salt it before cooking it, and no matter how much seasoning you did post saute/sear, it still sort of tasted bland on the inside? Same goes for pasta. Your sauce could be fuckin on point, but if you don’t salt dat pasta water, ya fugged, bruh. 

Always have your sauce ready BEFORE the pasta. Pestos, emulsified butter sauces, bolognese sauces, they should be in their respective sauce pans, heated and ready to go (unless we’re takin pesto or carbonarashit, as those go bad with heat). The worst thing you could do is fuck up and overcook your delicious pasta bc you were too busy making or finishing up your sauce. 

Always TASTE your pasta. I don’t care if the package says it’s ready in 1 minute or an hour, taste your pasta from the boiling water at least 2 minutes in, and every 2 minutes after that. Al dente’s usually the way to go, but you’ll never know when to take it out if you’re not constantly tasting. 

DO NOT strain your pasta, wasting your pasta water and allowing your pasta to cool. Use tongs to take pasta straight up form the boiling water (don’t dry it, nerds) and throw it in your sauce. A little pasta water gets in? no probs, and I’ll tell you why. 

If your sauce is reducing too much, or it’s too tight, add pasta water. It’s salted and hot and ready to go, it won’t dilute the flavor at all, you’re golden duude. golden. 

Finish your pasta in the sauce, allow it to become homogenous, let the sauce stick to the pasta, BECOME ONE WITH THE PASTA BRUH. 

Add cheese last, because cheese get’s weird and fucked up in hot pans, so it’s best to throw that on right before you’re ready to eat that shit up. 

4 oz is a normal serving size for pasta. If you don’t have a scale, that’s basically like the first pic above. If you hold the pasta like such, and the width of the bunch is a little smaller than an american quarter, then ur good 2 go bruh. 

Dry pastas are not better/worse than fresh pasta. They’re legit just made with different flours using different procedures. One isn’t ‘fancier’ than the other u pretentious buttrockets. 

PASTA IS NOT SCARY, IT’S DELICIOUS. These rules look tough, but honestly it’s not that bad bruh. I believe in u. 

and now, onto the recipe I used for my pasta. It’s a restaurant favorite, we always make it on the line because it’s simple, delicious and super filling. 

~

Caciopepe Pasta serves: 1 (lol like id share this with ppl lolol) -

Ingredients-

salt water for boiling (just salt some water, don’t fuckin travel to the beach in hopes of created the most bomb pasta ever)

1 bunch of pasta

2 bay leaves

1 sprig thyme

cold butter (approximately 2/3 cups cut into small pads

parmesan cheese to taste

a shit ton of black pepper to taste

-

Procedure-

Throw some pasta into some boiling water and do that thing where you constantly taste test the pasta to see if it’s ready. In the meantime, make ur sauce u lazy bumbum.

Add a little boiling pasta water to a saute pan over low heat, and whisk/mix in the butter quickly till it’s creamy and emulsified. If it’s too thick, just whisk in a teeny bit of pasta water. Add 2 bay leaves and a sprig of thyme for aroma, remove when pasta’s ready. 

Once the pasta’s ready to rock and roll, use tongs to scoop it up and place it in the sauce. Flip and mix using tongs. Add cheese and crack a lot of pepper. Add salt if it needs seasoning, add more pasta water if the sauce tightens.

and bam, ya ready to roll. 

~ I promise u if you use these pasta techniques, people will think ur literally a GOD. ur welcs. 

I’m gonna make a club called “Girls in White Dresses Reading Books” if you want to join GWDRB knock thrice on the haunted abbey door at nine tonight

asoue Lemony: If I had been one of the Baudelaires myself, I would have stood at the edge of town for the rest of my life, whimpering with fear, rather than take even one step into the crow-covered streets...

atwq Lemony: "ha ha get scared later" and I proceeded to launch myself onto the outside of Hangfire's Murder Train

A photographer’s portrait in a mirror, a hundred years ago, Japan, ca. 1920. Text and image via Old Japanese Photos on Facebook

The sugar bowl page from Austere Academy brightened up to the best of my ability and transcribed below:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that volunteers prefer their tea as bitter as wormwood and sharp as a two-edged sword, but few think to consider the true meaning behind that phrase. The [untrained or uninitiated] might assume that bitter tea means tea without sugar. But that assumes all sugar is sweet and all tea is bitter. In fact, there are many kinds of tea, that are not bitter at all, but sweet and fruity, usually identifiable by a whimsically [illegable] name and a box with a picture of an adorable animal wearing pajamas. So it stands to reason that, if not all tea is bitter, then not all sugar is sweet. The question we might ask is: why would sugar be bitter How would bitter sugar be created? And what greater purpose might bitter sugar serve? Lousy Lane, pg 678

THE SCHISM

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those hierarchies apart, and therefore instead of fixing one date for the schism, we may as well put a bracket around all of human history, and say: There! Are you happy? However, there is one thing that all sources seem to agree on: there is a vital connection between the VFD schism and the most import part of a tea set. No, not the teapot. (see “Sugar Bowl”, above)

Some people claim that the schism divided VFD cleanly in two, with one side devoted to starting fires, and the other devoted to putting them out. But of course, it is rare for anything to divide so neatly, with the exception of a particular sort of semi-soft cheese (see “Gorgonzola”, pg 401). No, it is far more likely

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remain shrouded in mystery, including the circumstances of its creation, we can only speculate at the connection between city’s official organization and its similarly-named counterpart. Some sources claim that the chief of the Offical Fire Department was a close blood relation of a prominent member of VFD, though this fire chief has stubbornly refused to answer to any of our questions, on account of being deceased.

Finally, there is much debate regarding the exact cause of the schism. While most experts agree that it stemmed from what one might politely call “philosophical differences” the truth is that these differences had been churning under the surface of VFD for some time, even going back to the organization’s very name. After all, while might assume that the phrase “fire department” would obviously refer to an organization that puts out fires, thus protecting highly flammable literary materials, the phrase could just as easily refer to an organization that prefers to start fires and burn books (see: Bradbury, Ray pg 451). Still, let’s take a moment to theorize about those philosophical differences. Volunteers claim to be acting for the greater good, but philosophers who speak to the concept of moral relativity would be quick to point out that words such as “good”, “evil”, “delicious” and “sandwich” can be ascribed different meanings, depending on the value system and dietary preferences of the

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The Jewish Monster Hunter's Toolkit

Have you ever seen The Fearless Vampire Killers, in which an unfortunate barmaid learns what happens when you use a cross against a stereotypically Jewish vampire?  Of course you have.  Or if you’ve haven’t, perhaps you’ve read ‘Salem’s Lot, where the cross fails to work when the human holding it loses their faith.

Don’t let this happen to you!

Whether it’s about your own religion or the undead’s, vampire-hunting heroines and heroes may wish to come prepared with holy tools besides those of Christianity.  Fortunately for our purposes, my father is a Rabbi who has taught classes on folklore, golems, and demons (and who owns a large poster of a dybbuk which scared the living daylights out of me as a child.)  And so I turned to him for advice as to what should be in the toolkit of Jewish monster hunters or hunters of Jewish monsters.

“There are written amulets,” he says, “sometimes involving God’s name in various spellings and permutations along with kabbalistic passages (I remember seeing one, to protect against Lilith, over the head of a baby boy in a stroller in Jerusalem).”  As far as amulets go, I personally would recommend the hamsa, traditionally used to protect against witchcraft and the evil eye.  It’s much more likely to help you than the star of david, which has no such symbolism.

If you can get your hands on them, my father also suggests looking into books as talismans, specifically the Sefer Raziel, which is said to protect against fire.  You can also go the route of getting a secular coin or amulet blessed by a Rabbi, which may then take on holy powers.

Golems are the most famous “Jewish monster” but don’t entirely fit the bill as one; they are created to protect Jewish communities, though there are stories of them going insane or following orders far too literally and making a mess of things.  The traditional way to deactivate one is to erase the first letter of the word on its forhead, changing the word from emet (truth) to met (death.)  There is also a story of a Rabbi who destroyed one by speaking the words Hadar l'afreikh - return to your dust.  Good luck pulling any of this off if you’re not incredibly holy and blessed by God, though.

“I’ve seen a hasidic story about a werewolf,” adds my father, “but as I recall that took some serious praying on the part of the rebbe to kill it.”

There is also some amount of folk belief attributed to the mezuzah, a holy fixture upon the doorframes of observant Jews (my family included.)  In addition to its religious significance, Meir of Rothenburg wrote “If Jews knew how serviceable the mezuzah is, they would not lightly disregard it. They may be assured that no demon can have power over a house upon which the mezuzah is properly affixed.”  This is one I would not advise non-Jews using, since it posesses genuine religious relevence and would be disrespectful to misuse, but if you’re Jewish and your home already has one, such things are good to keep in mind.

My point in all of this isn’t to reduce my religion to superstitions, but to demonstrate the wide range of tools heroines (and writers, for that matter!) have to represent the forces of light.  If any of my readers know of monster-hunting tips from their own culture, please share- we can never be too educated!

My writing tips

Sharing advice I found the most helpful from researching and reading that worked the best for me while writing.

How to write the first chapter

When you are stuck in your writing

How to find the right title

How to build a magic system

Dystopia vs post-apocalyptic fiction

Young adult vs new adult

How to find new writing ideas

Scene, story plan and plot

Tips on writing multiple protagonists

How to add meaning to your story

How to make a plot out of theme

Friends to lovers development

Sport stories

What makes a story

Developing a story

Types of enemies to lovers

Tips on writing the first page

Internal value of writing

Character building questions

Time passing in writing

Publishing and marketing discussion

How to pick the MBTI for your character

Key to binge-worthy stories

Why coax the story out of your head

How to coax the story out of your head

How to measure your story

Successful (online) friendships

Types of intelligence for OCs

Feel free to ask me anything about writing! My askbox is always open and I love talking about anything writing related :D