Please Help Me

this isn’t really a question but i do hope one day you can be happy as yourself, whether thats female or male i really want u to be happy

Thanks. I think I am “happy” just confused. The main frustrating thing to me with this whole thing is I’m a content creator and all this flip flopping about gender has made me not really want to show my face, which is setting me back a lot. How I present myself to the world is complicated and confusing and I want to stick to just one thing.

Realistically I’m probably a gender fluid person that wants to stick to one gender. Being male and female permanently both have merit to me. I’ll figure it out eventually.

I think I’ve mentioned this but I completely shaved my head in October, so for a long time even if I wanted to be a girl I looked pretty male because of the short hair.

I’m reaching the point soon where I can either start convincingly passing as a girl again or I can get a male haircut. I don’t know which to do.

Interested in doing this again please!!!

Fun ask game for MTFs!

So, how big is it?

Circumcised or uncircumcised?

How musky?

What's the name you give for your dick?

Are the veins of your dick visible when it's soft?

Can you jerk off with two hands?

How full are your balls right now?

How many times do you jerk off in a day?

Have you ever cum during sleep?

What was one wet dream you still remember?

Did someone ever accidentally touched your dick? How that make you feel?

Have you ever used your ass for sexual pleasure? At all?

At what size does your dick stop fitting into your panties?

Briefs or boxers?

What kind of boy did the girls in your school perceive you as?

Do you automatically plan to pay for everything in a date?

What was the last girl you rated on how fuckable she was?

Just how obsessed with pussy are you?

Have a real woman ever called you a creep?

Your crush just told you they are not attracted to woman but love femboys. What do you do?

Can you speak without swearing?

When do you plan to hit the gym?

Have you joined the army?

Do you piss standing?

How loud can you burp?

Blue or green?

If you like boys, have you thought in buying a gay flag?

If you like girls, don't you think being more manly will attract more woman to you?

What fantasy do you visit often?

Have you ever realized you are a confused boy? If so, what made you realize?

I haven't shaved in over a week at this point. There still isn't really that much facial hair. I started hrt young, and actually the reason I was so eager to start hrt when i did was because of the slight facial hair growth I started getting. Since I stopped taking hrt I have noticed a bit of new hair growth on my left cheek but strangely none on my right cheek yet. Something I've started to wonder (and I wonder this every time I've tried to grow my facial hair out) is whether it's even a good idea to do this. It looks kinda bad and scraggly and it just makes me less confident when I go out. It's barely noticeable from a distance but up close it makes me look kinda bad. That being said I did promise in my notes game that I wouldn't shave so for now I won't :)

I was on hormones for 8 years before detransitioning. I passed pretty well and had an intimidating goth/punk look.

A year later, and I'm pretty much unrecognizable. All of the progress I made feminizing myself has been almost entirely reversed. I'm growing chest hair and a beard for the first time in my life, none of my old girly clothes quite fit anymore, and my voice is deepening. Anyone passing me in public at this point only sees an awkward, nerdy guy.

If a version of myself from 3 years ago saw what she's become now, she'd be mortified and ashamed. But you wanna know something pretty fuckin cool?

Shame is a useless albatross for pussies and puritans. I'm just fucking horny :)

Whats the main thing keeping you from throwing it all away and what might help push you over that edge?

Well especially the past few days I really just feel like I want to totally go back to being a girl. aaand yet… I keep getting dragged back into this kink…

It almost feels like it isn’t a choice anymore. Like I’m destined to become male. The main thing stopping me is the expectations of the people in my life. Socially detransitioning would be the hard part, admitting that I want to be a guy and all, especially to people who are gonna say “I told you so”.

I’m not exactly sure what would allow me to go through with it, I think I would to be mentally conditioned to feel significantly more comfortable being male, or even to get uncomfortable being associated with anything feminine. This is why I say I think dedicated hypnosis might help.

maybe i should just become super transphobic

I think the reason being a guy appeals to me is that when I have sexual fantasies I always picture myself in a male role partnered with a cis woman and i dont have fun any other way. In order to get in a situation like that long term I would have to be a guy, and I’m so confused about my identity just in general that that sounds extremely appealing…

Welp, today is the last day I’m allowed to shave before the limits on the detrans notes game kick in.

I’ll make myself pretty one last time before throwing away my femininity forever.

I would just not shave today either but I have some final business to take care of where I need to be a girl.

I also reached 100 notes so I do need to get a haircut soon.

The “gender roles and sexism are hot but queer people are valid” to “conversion kink is hot, but you can still be whatever gender you want” to “trans people are their birth gender and should follow traditional gender roles” pipeline