I'M NOT A GIRL AND IT FEELS SO GOOD TO SAY THAT!!!

chat am i a boy?

I think the reason being a guy appeals to me is that when I have sexual fantasies I always picture myself in a male role partnered with a cis woman and i dont have fun any other way. In order to get in a situation like that long term I would have to be a guy, and I’m so confused about my identity just in general that that sounds extremely appealing…

I’m two months away from bottom surgery—and losing myself forever to this fakegirl delusion.

Help me beat this addiction…

Every 1 Note = Masturbate to this kink

Every 5 Notes = Don’t take HRT for a week

Every 10 Notes = Don’t shave for a week

25 Notes = Cut my hair short

Every 50 Notes = Present as a guy in public for 1 week

75 Notes = Stop taking HRT for good

100 Notes = Cancel my last laser appointment before surgery (Deadline May 7th)

125 Notes = Stop using my girl voice

150 Notes = Correct people to use he/him

175 Notes = Maintain permanent facial hair

200 Notes = Cancel my surgery (Deadline June 3rd)

225 Notes = Start taking

250 Notes = Come out as a man to my family

I should be honest I’m starting to question how realistic it is for me to follow through on my detrans notes game, at least at the moment. I’m getting some doubts about all this. Knowing how this has gone for me in the past those doubts will probably go away again at some point but I definitely am not willing to change my pronouns to he/him on my public socials at the moment so that probably says something about how I feel about this. Regarding the no shaving one… I would feel bad not following through on that when so many people wanted me to. I will either keep not shaving until it becomes impractical and I need to shave, or I will escape my delusions of femininity and actually never shave again idk, we’ll see.

ANYONE WHO CALLS ME MALE TODAY, OR EVEN AMAB, I WILL REMOVE YOUR SKIN ONE SQUARE CENTIMETER AT A TIME.

I AM NOT LIKE YOU.

I AM BETTER.

I AM A REAL GIRL.

I AM A GOD.

new development!!!

I tried thinking of myself as a “femboy” and… something clicked. I *liked* it. Not just in a kinky way that made me feel dysphoric in a horny way, no. It made me feel *good* about myself. Like, maybe I AM a femboy.

I had kind of an interesting discussion last night that made me confront some of my internalized transphobia and it made me realize that my detrans kink stems from an aversion to being considered trans. In the past I was really obsessed with being seen as a cis girl, and then since I shaved my head (which was part because of detrans kink and part just me being impulsive) I’ve been in this weird position where because I can’t pass perfectly as a cis girl anymore I feel like I need to go the opposite direction and be seen as a cis guy, and it’s made it difficult to separate the kink from reality. I really do love being a girl and it is certainly my preferred way of being, and committing to detransitioning is probably very bad for me. I put my hrt back in my pill box because I don’t wanna go bald like my dad lol. Obviously I’ll keep jacking off to it I just need to stop acting like actually detransitioning is a good idea (just wait I’ll relapse back into it in under a week). I will miss my big erections and… hm. well I was about to take my meds right now… maybe I could skip my hrt again? I mean there’s no harm in that right? I can keep being a girl and not take hrt for a bit. It’s not like there will be any permanent damage. I just want to be able to get hard. Yeah that’s it. I’m still a girl. I am still a girl. Mmhmm…

How do you feel about being forcefemmed into giving up any silly little notions of ever making it as a man?

honestly rn i’m begging for someone to forcefem me. Maybe that sounds crazy based on my blog but like genuinely if I had a 1 on 1 dynamic with someone very interested in making me in particular into a very feminine girl I’d be all over it. Please please please someone come into my dms and offer to turn me into a girly girl.

Fakegirl mtftm Detrans Notes Game

Detransitioning has become more real than kink for me over time and I need a little push to commit to it

Every 2 - One day without shaving my face (starting April 1)

Currently (165 Notes) Can shave again June 22

Every 10 - One week without hrt (starting March 30)

Currently (165 Notes) Can take hrt again July 20

Every 25 - I'll buy a distinctly masculine article of clothing

25 - throw out all my panties and buy boxers

Every 50 - Pick up a new, hypermasculine interest (be sure to suggest some!)

50 - start using a deeper voice

75 - Present as male in public sometimes

80 - I'll do everything I can to unlearn my voice training permanently

90 - Start actively rejecting anything girly or feminine. Try to get myself disgusted by the idea of being associated with girly stuff.

100 - Casually present as male publicly all the time (except when with close friends or family)

100 - My hair is already fairly short but I'll get it cut in a more masculine style

100 - Actively train myself to think more like a horny dumb bro

110 - No show to my next hair removal appointment (to prep for bottom surgery)

120 - Start working out (to get buff)

125 - Change my identity and pronouns to male and he/him on all my private accounts that my friends and family don't see

125 - completely change my wardrobe

150 - I'll change my pronouns to he/him on all my social medias

175 - Throw out all my hrt and never refill it

200 - Maintain a beard for the rest of my life

200 - Start taking testosterone supplements

200 - Cancel my bottom surgery entirely

300 - Start applying for jobs as a guy

500 - I'll come out to everyone I know as detransitioning and be a boy forever

that gif you reblogged… I need to be the girl worshiping your bulge

Then don't be shy, come in my dms and become my girl <3