Oh I’ve Stopped. I’ve Realised How Nasty You Are. Selfish, Rude, Self Absorbed Lowkey Kinda Ugly,

guilt eats away at my flesh. it settles in my bones. it lives within my chest.

he has no idea that I’m literally on my knees praying and crying for him every day it’s actually ridiculous that he’s consuming my brain LIKE A PARASITE and he’s just completely clueless. I hope he has a dream where he sees how much he’s in my head and in my heart and in between my teeth and under my skin and he gets hit so hard with it he fucking dies. No one could love him like I would.

(me, insane since the day i was born) sorry haha this has just been an off day for me

i want to live out my anger, i want to be able to scream and smash, i want to defend myself like an adult. then why am i crying every time

but sometimes I am also a narcissist and am afraid everyone is in love with me

I have bpd, of course I assume everyone hates me until proven otherwise

honestly i dont need therapy i need a machine to go into my body and manually stretch all my muscles and crack all my joints and then i need the machine to go into my brain and deep clean it with soapy hot water

I hate how I want him to miss me.

don’t feel very emotionally stable right now I feel beat down and too mentally tired to even speak or move and my mood keeps fluctuating between intense anger and violence and being upset and nostalgic and it’s giving me a headache and I want it to stop and it’s not working

TBPDFW you're in that weird state of mind where you laugh and laugh at the smallest things while inside you think the best thing would be to end your life as soon as possible. Meanwhile you can't concentrate on anything AND you can't tell what you're feeling because the non-stop laughing is confusing you. So people don't understand the danger you're about to put yourself in, and nobody is there to save you from yourself.