I Hope You Die, *****. Or I Hope You Move Away Forever And I Never See You Again. But It’d Be Satisfying

I hate how obsessive I get. It isn’t normal, it isn’t healthy. And it does me more harm than good. You’d think though, really, that being obsessed would make someone flattered. Apparently not.

I wanna talk to you so badly but then why does every conversation with you taste bitter and make me feel sick

I don’t know if I’m in love or if I’m mentally sick. All I know is the gaping hole and aching I feel in my chest fucking hurts.

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

every time I decide I’m done with you, for some godforsaken reason, I dream about you the same night

I don’t know how to explain it but just being alive causes me pain

The world is too loud, existing is overwhelming, people expect so much more than I can give

I fail at being alive every single day

I feel so ashamed to be so broken

But I don’t know how to be any other way

TBPDFW you're in that weird state of mind where you laugh and laugh at the smallest things while inside you think the best thing would be to end your life as soon as possible. Meanwhile you can't concentrate on anything AND you can't tell what you're feeling because the non-stop laughing is confusing you. So people don't understand the danger you're about to put yourself in, and nobody is there to save you from yourself.

violent tendencies are starting to get out of hand almost jumped at and choked out a jabroni on the train today for no reason. It physically hurts my head when I don’t act out on my violent thoughts.