I Wish You Loved Me As Violently And Consumingly As I Love You

"Memory of sun seeps from the heart", Anna Akhmatova (translated by D. M. Thomas)

The cold seasons are for the poets

Who set their hearts on fire

To stay warm

Can’t feel anger without physically punching walls or holding in the intrusive violent urges so much that it makes my arms physically burn and hurt

Can’t look at someone who’s even moderately attractive without desperately falling in love and imagine a whole life together

Can’t feel “happy” or moderately excited without feeling like my chest is about to burst and the only way to get it out is to literally vibrate and yell

Can’t feel sad without spiralling immediately into just wanting to stop existing

Can’t feel nervous without teeth chattering chest burning about to throw up

Or just don’t feel anything at all when (apparently) I am supposed to

bpd culture is wishing you could feel emotions normally

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Found on Pinterest to bring you BPD information.

i dont think i am meant to have love in my life

"I love you more I'd go to hell and back-" I'd tear my lungs out. I'd rip my spine out for you, I would murder someone in cold blood so you could walk on their body to protect your feet. I would rip out my own vocal cords, tear out my eyeballs if that's what you wanted. I would starve myself until I'm dead if you asked, I would run away with you, I'd go to jail, I'd kill your family, I'd steal, murder, hurt, do anything the second you asked.

it hurts me physically that he’s not mine we’d be so disgustingly toxic and perfect together don’t you fucking see he’s literally the male version of me I want him so bad

when you’re not near me, the hole in my chest starts to ache. I have not spoken to you once, nor have you spoken to me. I virtually know nothing about you. But you are now my greatest obsession. I hope I dream of you.