Emotional Dysregulation Is So Weird Because I've Been Near Crisis Point Depressed All Week But Now I'm

nothing makes failure hurt more when it is genuinely all your fault.

could've sorted it. did i? no. am i allowed to whine about it? also no.

because i didn't do jack shit to stop it.

my therapist asked me if i consider myself an anxious person, to which i responded 'no' as if i'm not purposely withholding my worst fear from him bc i'm convinced that if i tell anyone they'll use it to sabotage me

On the topic of trans men experiencing erasure and other problems that are not talked about, we should probably talk about when we actually DO get recognized and it's usually the white skinny trans men who get the most recognition. Which, is awesome and I'm not complaining because getting any recognition is a win. But we need to start also having our black poc, asian, native, hispanic, etc brothers in mind if you have not done so already. They have been erased from history even more than us. The same goes for the fat plus size men, the men who don't pass either because they can't or just don't want to (which is valid!), the men who can't transition or feel comfortable in their agab body (which is also valid), the men who are femme presenting, the men who are butch, men who are disabled etc etc.

Listen to when your black poc, asian, hispanic, native, etc men SPEAK. Listen to them. Listen to the men who are severely underrepresented in our community. Don't you DARE tell them to sit down or shut them out when speaking up about their experiences as trans men. If you see it shut it down immediately! That toxic shit is not safe in our spaces and we will not be quiet about it.

Keep our brothers safe!

the feeling when everyone has made every accommodation they can for me but i'm still making no progress is the worst because i can't blame the world anymore, the problem is just me

OCD symptom i struggle with but don't see talked about a lot: inability to trust your own memory and/or perception.

as an example: i put my headphones in my bag. i say im sure they're in my bag, but what if i imagined putting them in my bag? i have to check, so i stick my hand inside and grab them. but then i have to check *again* because what if i just so happened to have another object shaped and sized exactly like my headphones that i just forgot about? so i have to pull them out of my bag and look directly at them to fully confirm they were in my bag

this is a fairly benign example but this also happens with other worse scenarios for me and it's. not fun

“kids spend too much time on their devices” well what else are they supposed to do? there’s no corner shops with pinball machines in them on every corner anymore. there’s no malls or stores in small towns for teens to hang out in without being suspected of shoplifting or kicked out for loitering. sidewalks are too broken for them to ride their bikes and there’s no bike lane in the street to make it safe for them. i just don’t understand where they expect these kids to go when they keep taking places away from them. and yes having no safe public places for them is what leads a lot of teens into addiction if they end up at a place where people aren’t truly looking out for them.

I am going to commit acts of wrath if i see one more person say "trans men/transmasculinity is not under attack"

THEY EXPLICITLY SAY THAT THEY NOW DEFINE TRANS MEN AS "biological women" IN THAT SHITTY UK COURT RULING

THEY ARE INCLUDING US BY FUCKING NAME IN THEIR HATRED

"why are trans men not targeted?" THEY ARE

THEY FUCKING ARE TARGETED

YOU THINK THAT BEING DEFINED AS A "biological woman" IS NOT HARMFUL FOR TRANS MEN

THATS WHY YOU THINK ITS NOT AN ISSUE

BC YOU THINK THAT TRANS MEN GETTING DEFINED OUT OF EXISTANCE BY CALLING THEM "biological women" IS NOT A PROBLEM

Love the word "also". I have more things to say

nobody talks about how hard it is to exist in social isolation.

i forgot that it's normal to have a friendship group.

i forgot that it's normal to be invited to things.

i forgot that it's normal to leave the house.

i hope that people with friends never take that for granted because some of us don't have that and it fucking sucks.

anyone else with pmdd more cross at the fact it's their period causing their symptoms than the actual symptoms themselves