I've Been Desperately Trying To Remember The Way I Lived Or Made It Through A Certain Day, And I'm Caught
I've been desperately trying to remember the way I lived or made it through a certain day, and I'm caught between trying to record every second of it or loading my gallery with pictures and holding it close to myself by trusting my peripheral vision, I can’t tell whether im trying to exploit my present, or trying to preserve the ashes of a fire that once soared high, I can’t tell if it robbed me off my sight to capture the moment or left me agape enough to not be able to process anything
its similar to that particular situation in class, where the teacher’s writing an ideology on the board but you're so engrossed all the while taken aback that its too late to take notes, and you don't trust your memory enough to attempt to rewrite it from scratch, so you turn to your left to ask your deskmate to read it out loud for you but you bite your tongue before you speak because you know they hold a different vision, and your heart races at the prospect of never seeing that glint of passion yonder again.
“to everyone their own perception, to everyone their own vision” to some a curse, to some a gem.
I wish I could remember the past.
It seems silly to me, to not have recorded every moment of that life, that past life before chaos exploded.
How unconscious I was to think it would last forever. I used to live in that past life, wild and happy and confident.
Now, I look around, trying to find my footsteps, trying to figure out who I was, who I used to be, what I used to believe in.
It's in vain.
I can't remember.
And I don't know whether that is a curse or a blessing.
- F. A.
More Posts from Binxelf and Others
Frank O'Hara, from Selected Poems; "Mayakovksy"
[Text ID: I love you. I love you, / but I'm turning to my verses / and my heart is closing / like a fist.]
The animalistic urge to cut certain people off all socials and emotional connections as a new year’s resolution, y’all have had enough of this wine, party’s over.
Maybe, just maybe we could try to build a wall that permits our growth and breathing than by disguising our safety under the impression of a wall that inconsistently foreshadows our own strings from being intertwined by another’s, you know it’s not wrong to love :) you never did anything wrong by loving
Getting caught in the corner of someone’s eye is such an embrace, holding the same vision as them is such an embrace
The ultimate green interior <3
You’re not always going to be having an absolutely downright miserable day for you to feel worn out, your body can most definitely take the toll of an event even if your mind hasn’t reached the capacity or state to process it, there are so many instances where you yourself are not emotionally ready to face something but that doesn’t mean that your body will stop there and then. Maybe it’s something that happened over a week ago, or a month, and it happened to be that very thing you tucked under your pillow so it wouldn’t keep you up at night, so take my word when I say that it shouldn’t come off as a shock to you if you can’t set your mind on something or someone, have the energy to go on about your day, or be in your element when nothing went wrong. Take this exhaustion as a sign and evaluate over those times and everything you’d been through, face them and give yourself the time to sit through what happened, processing is key, tugging it away to suffer physiological distress is not.
Do they like rain?
Oooh myyy goood yesss: INFJ, INFP, INTP
Do you know how long it took me to look this good?!: ESFP, ESFJ, ENTJ
IT’S RAINING?! DROP EVERYTHING WE’RE GOING OUTSIDE: ESTP, ISTP, ENTP, ENFP
But… my shoes…: ISFJ, ISTJ, ENFJ, ISFP
Meh. *turns page*: INTJ, ESTJ
If you have chosen to prioritise yourself over the commitment to an event or person then give yourself a Pat on the back because learning to say no is easier said than done, and if you’ve made it through that hurdle then you deserve nothing more than your own company to better suffice your conscience and give it the peace of mind it needs this very moment
no phone i did not “miss a call” i watched it ring the whole time
-
hopefulchaosdaze liked this · 3 years ago -
binxelf reblogged this · 3 years ago -
savanahsbananas liked this · 3 years ago -
binxelf liked this · 3 years ago
-
voidic3ntity liked this · 3 years ago -
hopefulchaosdaze reblogged this · 3 years ago
“the flowers were dressed in nothing but light,they let me bathe in my vulnerability”
127 posts