Frank O'Hara, From Selected Poems; "Mayakovksy"

You have every right to heal and move past an event

Taking accountability for your mistake is different from holding yourself responsible for somebody else’s wrong doing, you can sympathise and see what you’d do in their situation to help them out, but you can’t dig yourself a grave for something that doesn’t involve you at all. One shouldn't play the blame game, but know who needs to rightfully own up to face the repercussions, to realise and be honest :)

ARA PACIS Rome, Italy

→ Ara Pacis, also called Ara Pacis Augustae, shrine consisting of a marble altar in a walled enclosure erected in Rome’s Campus Martius in honour of the emperor Augustus and dedicated on Jan. 30, 9 BCE. (x)

[transcript: 1. “any fear, any memory will do; and if you’ve got a heart at all, someday it will kill you.”

2. “survive what? you said. in the weak light you looked over your shoulder. you said, nothing ever survives.”

3. “because you want to die for love, you always have.”

4. “jesus: you think suffering is a one-way street?! it’s not! it’s the exact opposite of not!

judas: you got a lot of fuckin’ nerve—

jesus: —and you’ve got no nerve at all! where’s your heart in all this, judas? you think you were with me for any other reason than that?! it was your heart, judas. you were all heart. you were my heart! don’t you know that?!”

5. “he thought about wanting to feel like he had been made for something other than dying.”/end transcript]

rita dove, primer for a nuclear age/margaret atwood, roominghouse, winter/richard siken, planet of love/stephen adly guirgis, the last days of judas iscariot/maggie stiefvater- mister impossible

I remember a site once asked me to specify my qualifications for a course I was applying for, but what really struck my eye was the format of their question , “could you please take out a second of your time to help us determine the inclination of your course by giving this quiz a try?”, the ‘please’ ? My oh my I’ll kiss whoever programmed that test on the cheek, it was so endearing, I mean it WHOEVER sat down and took their time to think that through gets flowers from me

You’re not always going to be having an absolutely downright miserable day for you to feel worn out, your body can most definitely take the toll of an event even if your mind hasn’t reached the capacity or state to process it, there are so many instances where you yourself are not emotionally ready to face something but that doesn’t mean that your body will stop there and then. Maybe it’s something that happened over a week ago, or a month, and it happened to be that very thing you tucked under your pillow so it wouldn’t keep you up at night, so take my word when I say that it shouldn’t come off as a shock to you if you can’t set your mind on something or someone, have the energy to go on about your day, or be in your element when nothing went wrong. Take this exhaustion as a sign and evaluate over those times and everything you’d been through, face them and give yourself the time to sit through what happened, processing is key, tugging it away to suffer physiological distress is not.

love yourself despite it all. love yourself even when you said the wrong thing. when you messed up in class. when you got a grade you didn’t like. when you haven’t been outside in a week. accept yourself in spite of it all. accept yourself even if you didn’t get into the university you wanted. when you broke up with someone you thought you would stay with forever. when the guilt is eating you alive. when you feel like you can’t take it anymore. you are already whole, you are enough.

When my friend said “I want to hold you, I want to know you, and I want to know where you’ve been” and Vashti Bunyan said “I want to walk around your mind someday, I’d like to walk all over the things you say to me, I’d like to run and jump on your solitude, I’d like to rearrange your attitude to me, you say you just want peace and you’d never hurt anyone, you see the end before the beginning has ever begun”

We don’t know and we’re not at an authority to know what tomorrow’s consequences would bear, and it’s completely 110% ok to accept that there’s someone out there willing to sit by our side and help us through the net, to weave a heart and perhaps even a warm sweater out of it, not something that traps us in the disguise of our solitude. It’s alright to admit you’d want to reach out to a hand that helps you see through the holes of a woven mess because claiming that one wants peace and doesn’t want to act violently against another gives away more than you’d intend for it to, especially when it goes further than just wanting to restore a sense of security and support externally, it speaks about the nature you’ve been sown to, and how you can very much grow out of it, creating peace outside can only come after one has created peace within themselves :) to come to a mutual consensus with your mind and heart, collectively working together to patch through and heal each other

They’re not stepping in on your privacy but simply stopping by your doorstep to find a spot for the two of you to sit together, leaving behind a trail of palm leaves so you can feel and see the glimpses of your growth and vulnerability, not as a weakness but as a medium to communicate with yourself <3

Susan Sontag - “Death Kit”

Gentle reminder that being vulnerable is a blessing, and an even gentler reminder that you can put your socks on and go to sleep, wanting to keep yourself warm is a need, we all accept our warmth and source it through different beings around us, whether or whether not you decide to find that warmth within the linings of the page you happened to accidentally read is completely subjective and understandable, it’s beautiful, so continue to keep it close to you, to have ourselves our own shelter, to have ourselves our own warmth.