Bruce: How Was Your Day, Damian?

Wally: You use humor to deflect your trauma.

Dick: Awww, thanks-

Wally: That’s not a good thing.

Dick: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

Dick: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Wally: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Dick: Holy moly-

Stephanie : *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Bruce: What did you do?

Stephanie : Nobody died.

Bruce: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Dick: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Wally: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Dick: But you’re always acting stupid?

Wally: ...

Wally: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

Dick: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Jason: Stop romanticizing the past.

Damian: Jon and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Jon: Sentences.

Damian: Don't interrupt me.

Bruce: Here's some advice

Dick: I didn't ask for any

Bruce: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Congratulations you now get to simp

Diana: Gods, give me patience.

Cassie standing in front of an explosion : I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Diana: If Gods gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Dick: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Barbara: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

______________

Damian: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Carrie: Isn't that just killing people?

Damian: Ah, don’t sweat the details .

______________

Jason: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Dick: Twelve, actually.

Jason: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Dick: Yours!

Jason: That's right: no one's.

_______________

Damian: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Steph: I think you mean cards.

Damian, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

________________

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Bruce Wayne please come to the front desk?

Bruce, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to the batkids

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Dick, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Bruce: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

__________________

Barbara: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Luke: You people already know too much about me.

Tiffany: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

______________________

Tim: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Cullen: Just rip the bandage off.

Tim: It’s Kon.

Cullen: Put the bandage back on.