Latest Posts by azureflame - Page 3

Idea for an Isekai series that I just came up with:

The protagonist has a happy, normal life. They go to an antique store because they're desperate to find a gift for their friend. Somehow, they get isekai'd to what appears to be a typical fantasy world.

They're suddenly tasked with defeating the demon lord. As they & their new friends are approaching the demon lord's castle, a bunch of aliens arrive & start kidnapping a bunch of their minions as well as the denizens of the fantasy world. The demon lord's desperate to get their minions back, so they begrudgingly team up with the protagonist's team to defeat this alien race. Over time, the demon becomes attached to their new allies, especially the protagonist.

Masterlist

Started: 10/29/2022

Last updated: 6/17/2023

Total works: 7

Twisted Wonderland

Pomefiore

Diasomnia

Pomefiore posts

Fanfics

Incorrect Quotes

Get in the car, Potato!

Shitposts/Memes

Diasomnia posts

Fanfics

A Fae’s Snowy Celebration (Part 1), A Fae’s Snowy Celebration (Part 2)

Pater Meus (Part 1)

Incorrect quotes

Yuu is THE Child of Man

Yuu stubs their toe (NSFW)

Shitposts/Memes

Malleus “Hello Kitty” edit

Pater Meus (Part 1)

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Lilia, Malleus, (Y/n) (gender neutral) & miscellaneous characters

Word count: 1,039 words

Warnings: Death of parents, mention of blood, mention of stab wounds, mention of robbery, police officers (no police brutality) bodies/corpses

Author’s Note: Pater Meus is Latin for “My Father.” Also, (M/m/n) means "Mother's maiden name.”

“Now wait just a moment, little one” said Lilia to (Y/n). “I’ll have your milk warmed up for you.”

Despite not understanding what Lilia had just said, hearing the word “milk” was enough to make (Y/n) happy.

The only person in the kitchen who wasn’t happy was Malleus. It wasn’t that he disliked children. On the contrary, he thought they were the most precious beings in existence. What was upsetting him was not knowing how & why Lilia came into possession of (Y/n). As far as he’s aware, Lilia doesn’t have any partner, so the chances of them being related are slim to none. As much as it pained Malleus to interrupt this blissful moment, he had to know the truth. “Lilia. I must inquire about how you came into possession of this adorable infant” asked Malleus.

No response came from Lilia as he was too busy humming a tune while warming a small cauldron of milk.

“Lilia. I know you can hear me. Answer my question” said Malleus with a hint of frustration in his tone.

Lilia, heading over to the food storage, chirped to himself “You know. I wonder if they’ll like mashed peas. They appear to be old enough to have some.”

“Lilia.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see what foods (Y/n) will love!”

“Lilia!”

“Maybe I can also give them some-”

“LILIA!”

Annoyed, Lilia turned around & looked at Malleus. “What do you want?”

Satisfied that Lilia’s finally paying attention to him, Malleus calmed down. “What I want to know is why all of a sudden, you’re taking care of that child.”

“What’s wrong with taking care of a child” asked Lilia, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Nothing, Lilia. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with providing love & care for a child” said Malleus as Lilia walked past him with some peas & carrots.

“Then there’s nothing more to discuss about little (Y/n).”

Being completely dumbfounded by Lilia’s behavior, Malleus asked himself what happened to (Y/n)’s biological parents. As the two faes returned to the kitchen, Malleus wondered if they'd willingly given up their child to Lilia. That seemed unlikely as he was being defensive when being asked about (Y/n)’s origin. An extremely unfortunate event must have befallen their parents in order for Lilia to be their new guardian. As much as it pained Malleus to accuse Lilia of anything, he had no other choice. “Lilia? Did you… murder (Y/n)’s parents?”

.

.

.

“They were already dead when I met (Y/n).”

“… What” Malleus tried his best to speak, but he was too stunned to do so. “How?”

“Here’s how I remembered the events that transpired several months ago” Lilia stated before telling his story on how he met (Y/n)

Several months ago…

The cry of an infant. A sound Lilia had least expected when traversing a forest, yet that is exactly what he heard. Before entering the clearing where the cry was coming from, Lilia detected the scent of blood.

Upon entering the clearing, Lilia saw a pair of humans brutally stabbed with several torn bags around their bodies. “Whatever they’ve had, it must’ve been valuable enough for someone to murder them for it” Lilia thought to himself before noticing a medallion that the presumed mother wore. “The House of (M/m/n). I remembered one of their ancestors fighting valiantly in the last war the Valley of Thorns has had.” Before he could speculate as to how this gruesome crime scene could’ve happened, Lilia decided to call a few police officers from the closest town to investigate it.

After a few days, they were able to identify (Y/n)’s parents as well as the identities of the perpetrators thanks to their advanced magic. It was only a matter of catching them.

“Officer. What exactly shall happen to the child?” asked Lilia.

“We’ll have to see if their parents have left a will stating who shall take in the child upon their passing. If not, we’ll have to contact their closest relatives about the situation. If by this point we still can’t find anyone willing to take them in, they’ll end up in the foster care system” replied the officer.

Putting a hand to his chest, Lilia declared himself as (Y/n)’s guardian should there be no one willing to raise them.

“You are aware of the lengthy process in order to adopt a child, correct?” asked the officer. “Not only that, there’s also the chance that several of this child’s family members will want to be their guardian.”

“That doesn’t matter to me. This poor child had their parents taken away from them & I wish to provide them with as much love & care as possible” stated Lilia with passion like no other.

“Right. Let’s see what the Family Court has to say” the officer murmured.

End of flashback…

Upon hearing the entire story, Malleus was left speechless. How could he respond to all of this? He simply couldn’t.

“Unfortunately for (Y/n), none of their relatives seemed interested in adopting them” Lilia told Malleus.

“That’s stupid” Malleus slammed his fist on the table, causing (Y/n) to cry. “(Y/n) is a delightful, sweet infant! I swear when I find the ones who killed (Y/n)’s parents, there’ll be hell to pay!”

“Malleus! That’s enough” yelled Lilia as he scooped (Y/n) into his arms. “The officers got this under control. They’ll find the criminals soon enough.” Before bottle feeding (Y/n) their milk, Lilia soothed their nerves by talking sweetly to them.

Malleus clenched his fists at the thought of these scumbags roaming the world freely. “But what if they don’t find them, Lilia? What if these filthy beasts get away with this? They should experience the same pain (Y/n)’s parents felt in their final moments.”

“While I agree with your sentiments, we shouldn’t get involved in this situation. We would both face consequences far greater than we could ever handle” Lilia warned Malleus.

In response, Malleus sighed & slumped in his chair. How it pained him greatly to know that he couldn’t avenge (Y/n)’s parents.

Lilia, seeing his prince in a foul mood, handed (Y/n) to him after they were done drinking their milk.

Seeing (Y/n) brought a small smile to Malleus’s lips. “Worry not, little one. You’re in good hands.”

Wtf, I'm about to cry now!

No, because that would require Malleus to know how to use modern technology.

why did we as a society stop putting gargoyles on everything. what fucking loser looked at a building and was like no actually this doesn’t need a horrid little creacher

A Fae’s Snowy Celebration (Part 2)

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Malleus, (Y/n) (gender neutral), Grim, Lilia & other miscellaneous characters

Pairing: Malleus x (Y/n) (gender neutral)

Word count: +4K

Warnings: None

Author’s note: I’m so sorry for not posting this sooner, everyone!

After finding a travel suitcase for (Y/n) & Grim, Lilia returned to the Ramshackle dorm.

(Y/n) thanked Lilia & started packing everything they could.

“As I’ve said earlier, we’ll be heading over to the Mirror Chamber tomorrow morning. Don’t worry about setting an alarm as I, Silver, Sebek & Malleus, will pick you both up” said Lilia as he explained the plans for tomorrow.

“I can’t thank you & Tsunotarou enough for this. Every time I thought of everyone but Grim & I having fun over the holidays, I just got more depressed” replied (Y/n) in a sad tone.

“Same with me! The Great Grim refused to accept spending the holidays with meager rations & shivering from the cold” yelled Grim.

“You’re welcome, you two” said Lilia before looking at (Y/n). “Before you met Malleus, he never had the chance to enjoy his vacations.”

“Oh? Well I’m glad that he’ll be looking forward to spending this one with me. It’s unfortunate that he had to wait for so long” said (Y/n).

“I agree. His reaction to you two accepting his invitation was something I had hoped for so long” said Lilia. “I hope you can give Malleus a winter vacation that he’ll fondly remember” requested Lilia before teleporting back to his dorm.

The next day…

It was at the crack of dawn that the Diasomnia quartet decided to head over to the Ramshackle dorm to pick (Y/n) & Grim up. Malleus led the way with a huge smile on his face knowing that he won’t spend this holiday break all by himself (again). Upon reaching the Ramshackle dorm, Malleus knocked on the door with a new, profound energy. “Child of Man~! Are you awake yet?”

“HUMAN! DO NOT IGNORE THE YOUNG MASTER” shouted Sebek as he always does.

“Hush now, Sebek. They might be barely awake” said Lilia.

“I wouldn’t blame them for not wanting to get out of bed so early. This chilly weather makes me want to sle-” said Silver before sleeping while standing. Lilia started to try & wake up Silver which took a lot of effort on his part.

“DoOr’S AlReAdY OpEnEd!” yelled (Y/n) in the most ridiculous voice possible.

Lilia tried his absolute best not to laugh while in the presence of Malleus.

As Malleus opened the door, he made his way to the lounge room where he saw his dear (Y/n) yawning.

“Child of Man. I apologize for having you wake up so early, but I simply cannot wait to take you to my homeland” said Malleus before giving (Y/n) a tender kiss on their forehead.

“No worries, Tsunotarou.” said (Y/n) before letting out a yawn & grabbing their suitcase. “Let’s go!”

“Of course. Let us be on our merry way” said Malleus while he, (Y/n) & Grim left the Ramshackle dorm together.

As everyone entered the Mirror Chamber, they were surprised to see a lot of students standing around & chatting before letting the Mirror of Darkness transport them to another place.

“Woah! There’s a lot more people here than I thought” exclaimed Grim as he’s looking around the room & seeing tons of students.

“I was honestly expecting only a handful of students besides us. I’m guessing they’re too excited for the holidays to stay on campus for much longer” said (Y/n) before spotting the other first years. “Ace! Deuce! Epel! Jack!”

The aforementioned first years rushed over & began conversing with (Y/n). Topics ranged from what foods everyone will have from which relatives will be visiting their home. The atmosphere of the room could not be any more jubilant as everyone in the room were having similar conversations. All except Sebek.

“EVERYONE, CLEAR THE WAY! THE NEXT HEAD OF THE VALLEY OF THORNS, ALSO A NOBLE AND GREAT WIZARD, MALLEUS DRACONIA IS HERE” yelled Sebek as he demanded that Malleus & the rest of his group go through the Mirror of Darkness first.

“Sebek, please stop speaking so loudly. You’ll upset everyone in here” warned Silver as some students were already whispering to each other.

“Man, does this asshole ever shut up? He’s so annoying” whispered one student to his friend.

“I’m surprised that his vocal cords haven’t given up on him already. I only ever hear him yell” replied the student’s friend.

“And so it begins already…” muttered (Y/n) as they’re suffering from second-hand embarrassment.

“Sebek. That’s enough already” said Lilia.

Not wanting to fall victim to Malleus’s magic, everyone promptly moved out of his way. He & the rest of his group walked closer to the Mirror of Darkness waiting for it to transport them to the Valley of Thorns.

“Goodbye, everyone! I’ll make sure to get you all a belated Christmas present” said (Y/n) as they waved goodbye to their fellow first years. They quickly rush over so as to not incur Sebek’s wrath.

At the entrance of Malleus’s castle…

“Fnagh! This place is even scarier up close” shrieked Grim.

As rude as Grim’s comment was, (Y/n) couldn’t help but agree with him. Everything about the castle was a cause for trepidation. Many vines clung to the castle walls, the grotesques have seen better days, the colors lacked any vibrancy & the sky was dark.  The only source of light, aside from a few torches, was the moon.

“This place is scary looking. Miles better than the Ramshackle dorm though…” muttered (Y/n). They take a step back to get a good look at the castle’s tallest towers & gulp from sheer nervousness.

“Fear not, my love. The outside of this castle may look intimidating, but rest assured that the inside is absolutely lovely. I can show you if you’d like” replied Mallues as he wraps an arm around (Y/n)’s shoulders. He hoped that (Y/n) wouldn’t leave already. Just when he was going to spend the holidays alone once again, they appeared.

“Ah! They’re here” said Lilia in excitement.

“Who” asked (Y/n). They look ahead & see some maids & butlers approach the group. As they greet Malleus & Lilia & take everyone’s bags, a maid gives (Y/n) an odd look before slowly taking their luggage. (Y/n) wondered if they’ve offended them in some manner.

As everyone’s getting comfortable in their rooms, Malleus paid (Y/n) & Grim a little visit.

“My love, I regret to inform you that I cannot be with you for a short while. I’ll be discussing a few important matters with my grandmother first” said Malleus in a sad tone.

“It’s no big deal, Tsunotarou. I’m sure your grandmother would want to talk to you again after not seeing you for who knows how long. We can wait” said (Y/n) as they pull out a book Malleus once gave them.

Satisfied that (Y/n) is not upset, Malleus nods & heads over to the throne room along with Lilia.

At the throne room…

“My dear grandson” said the queen as she almost finished her conversation with Malleus. “Before we part ways for the time being, I’d like to know a little bit about the human you’ve invited here”

An immense blush formed on Malleus’s face. “They’re such a kind, sweet person.” The increasing pace of his heartbeat caused him to hold his hands on his chest. “They always partake in my nightly strolls around campus & make sure to invite me to any event, big or small. Even if they don’t fully understand the things I talk about, they’re always willing to listen. Likewise, I give them my undivided attention to their stories, especially the ones of their past. To think that they trust me enough to show their vulnerable side warms my heart to no end.” As much as Malleus wanted to continue praising (Y/n), he was too focused thinking about them to continue.

Seeing her grandson act this way caused the queen to chuckle. “I can see clearly that you love them so dearly. If possible, I would like to converse with them during the Christmas party so that I may know them more.”

“Of course, grandmother! I’ll see to it that you get to meet them on that day” said Malleus with nothing but pure excitement in his voice.

Prior to his first encounter with (Y/n), Malleus treated every day of his life with little interest. To him, it was all the same: people avoided him, he excelled in all of his classes & so on and so forth. It was thanks to (Y/n) that all of that changed. When Malleus realized that no other individual made him feel so alive, that’s when he knew he had to court (Y/n). Therefore, getting his grandmother to approve him marrying (Y/n) was his utmost priority. For now, he’d show (Y/n) & Grim a few places on what could potentially be their future home.

While the meeting between Lilia, Malleus & his grandmother was approaching its end…

“Agh! I can’t stand around doing nothing for so long” yelled Grim as he was getting rather antsy.

“I understand that Malleus has been talking to his grandma for a while, but you must understand that he probably hasn’t had the chance to do so after some time. I’d spend some time catching up with her too if I was in his position” said (Y/n)

“Well I’m neither you nor Malleus! I’m gonna explore the castle by myself” yelled Grim as he left their room.

“Grim, wait” yelled (Y/n) with worry before putting their book down.

Both (Y/n) & Grim were running around the halls of Malleus’s castle, thus causing a lot of noise. As (Y/n) tried to catch Grim, they vehemently apologized to any staff member they ran across & asked them for help in catching him. However, every one of them either shied away from them or simply expressed their annoyance toward what was happening.

Grim entered a dark room & (Y/n) couldn’t tell if they were lucky or unlucky. Regardless, they followed him inside.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Grim. Let’s go back to our room before Malleus knows that we’re gone & panics” said (Y/n) with anger before coughing. After they’ve stopped running, they notice the dusty, dark room had numerous bookshelves containing many grimoires.

“Whoa! So many books about magic~! There’s gotta be one that I could use to improve my skills” said Grim as he rushed to the first grimoire he saw.

“Wait! That grimoire could be-” shouted (Y/n) before being interrupted by a loud door slam. “Cursed?”

As soon as Grim touched the grimoire he wanted to read, the door he & (Y/n) went through somehow slammed itself shut. They both noticed this & had begun panicking.

(Y/n) rushes over to the door & tries to open to no avail. “Crap! We’re trapped!”

“Hehehe…” a mysterious voice muttered. “You’ve done it now…”

“Henchman! Did you hear that creepy voice just now” asked Grim.

“Yes. We’re in deep trouble, aren’t we” asked (Y/n).

“Oh how you most certainly are. To think that anyone would be foolish enough to touch one of my precious grimoires” said the disembodied voice with the occasional giggle.

“Fnagh! I’m sorry” yelled Grim.

“You better be! Such action is… UNFORGIVABLE” yelled the disembodied voice near the end.

Both (Y/n) & Grim were in a state of complete panic. After all, they weren’t expecting to encounter a potentially malevolent being.

“I have an idea. How about I make you my servants? I’ve been so attentive to many books that it’s been hard keeping track of all of them. You can read all the grimoires that you want, little furball” said the crazed voice.

“Never! The Great Grim will not be defeated by some weirdo” shouted Grim with pride as he believed that fighting this unknown entity was his only option.

“Oh” said the unknown entity in an inquisitive tone. Several steps can be heard with each one getting previously louder than the last. A lantern appears, revealing a tall, lanky figure wearing a filthy cloak. Their eyes are filled with such insanity that one should not ask what had happened to them & their grin revealed jagged teeth. “And how do you suppose you shall defeat me? I’ve spent countless hours caring for various texts of advanced magic & have practiced & perfected my techniques”

“AH! I TAKE BACK WHAT I’VE SAID! I’M SORRY” yelled Grim as he’s hiding behind (Y/n).

“Oh how hilarious of you! So frightened as to hide behind your master as if that will do you any good” said the creepy entity. It uses its free hand to form a ball of dark magic. “Let us not waste any more time. One. Two.”

“AHHHHH” screamed both (Y/n) & Grim as they embraced each other in their final moments.

.

.

.

Or so they’ve thought.

The dark magic covered the strange entity & it shrunk until it was slightly taller than (Y/n). Afterwards, the dark magic dissipated to reveal a young, dashing fae with simple robes, short hair & glasses. “Boo” said the fae in a rather playful tone before helping (Y/n). “My name is Sucré. I apologize for the fright I gave you two, especially the human. My main duty is to care for all of the texts that lie within this castle, ranging from simple notebooks to grimoires while my side job is being an author.”

“So what’s the deal with scaring us if you’re apologizing for it” demanded Grim.

“It’s quite simple: to teach you a lesson about touching things that don’t belong to you. Some of the grimoires within this castle are actually cursed. Granted, they’ve been locked away in a large safe for ages, but most can’t tell the difference until it’s too late” said Sucré as the door violently swung open to reveal a distressed Malleus. “Ah, Your Highness. How delightful to see you” said Sucré as he bowed gracefully to his future king.

Malleus paid no mind to him as he rushed over to (Y/n). “(Y/n), my love!” asked Malleus as he spun them around, got on one knee & gripped their shoulders. “Are you alright?! I hope you’re not hurt!”

(Y/n) gave Malleus such a sweet smile that he would have fainted had it not been for his current state. “Don’t worry, Tsunotarou. I’m fine” said (Y/n) as they proceed to kiss him on the forehead.

“Oh, thank goodness” said Malleus as he hugged them for a short while. His smile changed to a frown as he proceeded to look at (Y/n) in the eyes. “Did I not tell you to wait for me? I know that humans aren’t known for being patient, but this is inexcusable.”

“Don’t get mad at me” said (Y/n) before glaring at Grim. “Get mad at him. He ran off despite my warning & I tried to prevent him from causing any trouble around here.”

“It’s not my fault that Tsunotarou took forever to return from his meeting with his grandma” yelled Grim.

“Because he had a lot of important stuff to talk about with her! What part of that statement do you not understand” asked (Y/n).

From the corner of his eye, Malleus saw the grimoire Grim opened on the floor. “Sucré. There’s a grimoire on the ground. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed that given your affinity for knowledge.”

“I was aware of it not being on the bookshelf” said Sucré before using telepathy to put the grimoire back. “You see, that gray cat monster ran into this room & grabbed it. The human tried to stop him but failed miserably as he lacked sufficient self-control & common sense. I truly  did not intend to frighten the human, but I was too focused on getting revenge against the cat monster.”

Malleus said nothing as he held out his hand & a large grimoire materialized in his hand. He then gave it to Sucré “Here. A reward for punishing Grim.”

“Fnagh! You shouldn’t reward him for doing things like that.” Grim looked at (Y/n). “Tell him, henchman!”

“Honestly, if I had magic, I’d put you in a stupid outfit that only I can take off” said (Y/n) bluntly.

Before saying anything, Sucré adjusted his glasses. “If you wish, I can make that a reality. In exchange, I’d like to be given cookies that are either store-bought or homemade. Any flavor will do.”

“Deal” said (Y/n) without a second thought.

Grim, being greatly offended by (Y/n)’s “betrayal,” was about to speak up until magic had begun surrounding him. He tried running away, but it was too late.

Sucré & Malleus chuckled at this embarrassing sight while (Y/n) was full-on laughing. They had to lean against Malleus so as to not fall to the floor.

It only took one good look at (Y/n) for Malleus to start blushing. As much as Malleus wanted to look at (Y/n) forever, he had to show them certain places of the castle now so that they don’t get lost again. Plus, he actually wants to prepare for this Christmas celebration now that they’re with him. He thanked Sucré once again & left the room with (Y/n) & Grim.

Malleus was quick to have himself & the Ramshackle duo teleported to the Great Hall. It was a large, rectangular room whose walls & ceiling had various murals of faes & other races in various scenes. The beautiful, warm lights from the chandeliers help highlight some of the finer details of these art pieces as well as making the room feel a bit more lively. A few maids & butlers are eating at various banquet tables with some small talk here & there.  The back center of the room had a banquet table more elaborate than the rest. Malleus told (Y/n) that they’d be dining with him & the rest of the Diasomnia quartet.

While there were various art rooms throughout the castle, Malleus took (Y/n) & Grim to a specific one that had the most art supplies by far. Ranging from various art paints to sculpting materials as well as sewing materials, it was an artist’s dream come true. Malleus is fully aware that he won’t always be by (Y/n)’s side & that it wouldn’t be healthy for them to remain inside their room 24/7. In his mind, this was one of the best ways for his darling to relieve their stress.

After exploring a few miscellaneous rooms, the trio stepped inside a small library with a large fireplace in the back. Malleus, after remembering their encounter with Sucré, had to bring up the fact that none of the books in the room were cursed. (Y/n) expressed their feelings about the room, including how it would be nice to cuddle with him in front of the fireplace. Malleus smiled at the thought of doing so.

Nearing the end of the tour of the castle, Grim said he wanted to go back to his & (Y/n)’s room to take a nap (Author’s note: He lied naturally as he breathed).

Malleus quickly used his magic to fulfill Grim’s request as he wanted to spend even a few moments with his Child of Man. Before teleporting to his prized rose garden, he gently covered (Y/n)’s eyes with his hands. He genuinely couldn’t wait to see their reaction.

Upon seeing the garden for the first time, (Y/n) was left speechless. It was an endless sea of roses with a large gazebo in the middle. The fresh, floral aroma washed away any negative emotions (Y/n) had throughout the day. In (Y/n)’s mind, this was the perfect setting for a romantic dinner with Malleus. They couldn’t help but think about themselves kissing Malleus under the moonlight.

“Darling. Darling~” whispered Malleus into (Y/n)'s ear. Seeing his darling blushing while daydreaming prompted him to smirk. "What exactly were you daydreaming about?"

“U-Um. Absolutely nothing, Tsunotarou” yelled (Y/n) as their blush became more intense.

“Mhm. Sure, darling” said Malleus.

(Y/n) looks up at the sky & remembers that they were told of the sky always being dark. “How do you tell what time it is if it’s always dark? I don’t wanna miss lunch time.”

“We once used a device that’s similar to a sundial except it ran on magic. Nowadays, we have clocks you humans consider “old-fashioned.” I do believe it’s almost noon, so let us head back to the castle.”

“Sweet! I can’t wait to try out some of the dishes your homeland has to offer” said (Y/n) before Malleus brought them back to the castle.

“I promise you that you will enjoy them all” said Malleus with a sweet smile.

An hour later & the Diasomnia quartet & the Ramshackle duo are at the Great Hall awaiting for their full-course meals to arrive…

“So (Y/n). How’s the castle so far? You’re not scared of it, are you” said Lilia in a teasing tone.

As expected, Malleus tensed up & he too awaited for (Y/n)’s response.

“At first I found it to be scary, but it’s more lively than I thought it’d be. I like it” said (Y/n).

Malleus was relieved knowing that (Y/n) liked the castle so far “I was rather afraid you would regret coming here. I’m glad to know that I’m wrong.” In his mind, he told himself “Hopefully I am also right in (Y/n) wanting to live in this castle permanently.”

Before long, the chefs have arrived with everyone’s appetizer. Grim tried to scarf his down, but (Y/n) tapped his head & said not to eat like a pig. The cat monster grumbled as he ate his food in a more dignified manner.

(Y/n), being satisfied with his compliance, began eating their own appetizer. It was the same, simple one Malleus chose, yet theirs came out last. “Weird. This appetizer isn’t as flavorful as I thought it’d be” said (Y/n) in their head. “Tsunotarou seems to be satisfied with his, so maybe I’m just being picky.” Throughout lunch, (Y/n) kept finding an issue in their meals whether it’d be their food lacking sufficient seasoning or being a bit too cold. However, it was still far better than the food they ate back at Night Raven College. They may not spend the rest of the day (or night) completely satisfied, but dared not to complain.

“How was lunch, my treasure” asked Malleus with a sincere smile.

“It was delicious. I enjoyed it all” said (Y/n) with a fake smile.

“My tuna had little to no flavor in it! How is that even possible” asked Grim in an upset tone.

“Now now, Grim. We should be grateful for eating food that’s of higher-quality than that back in Night Raven College” said (Y/n) with their lips slightly twitching from nervousness.

“Is that so? Perhaps I should let the chefs who’ve prepared your tuna know about this” said Lilia.

“There’s no need for that, Lilia.” (Y/n), noticing that Grim fell asleep, decided to carry him there as if he were a baby.

As soon as everyone had left, Lilia marched straight toward the kitchen & stopped just in front of the entrance to listen to the chefs’ conversation.

“Finally we can have some peace & quiet” groaned the head chef.

“To think that our esteemed, crowned prince has brought over that ugly human is unbelievable! That feline beast was somehow even worse” said a baker before everyone in the kitchen started laughing.

“Weren’t they the ones that caused a ruckus earlier today? I bet they were because this glorious castle has never housed such rude guests” stated a fae chef.

“I hope they leave soon & never come back” said another chef before everyone nodded simultaneously.

Everything Lilia heard was more than enough for him to violently open the doors. His presence alone caused the whole kitchen to fall silent.

“Lord Lilia! What a surprise to see you here. How may we be of service” asked the head chef in a nervous tone.

“You can be of service by explaining why you were talking poorly about our dear Prince’s guests just now” said Lilia angrily.

“A little while ago, a butler informed me about the ruckus those two were causing. They were running around the halls while making noise. They should be thrown out of the castle at once” said the head chef as everyone else in the room agreed with him.

“For so long, our prince hasn’t had the chance to enjoy a single vacation with anyone. That human you all think so poorly of is the only reason why he’s in such an excellent mood” yelled Lilia.

The entire kitchen staff was speechless. They were initially confused as to why their prince referred to (Y/n) as his “treasure,” & now his jovial mood made much more sense.

“I expect that intentional screw ups like these will never happen again! Do you all understand” asked Lilia with nothing but fury.

“Yes, Lord Lilia! We will ensure that this mistake does not occur again” said the entire kitchen staff.

Lilia simply huffed as he left the kitchen. He hoped that the rest of everyone’s Christmas vacation didn’t face any more problems.

My boy Tsunotarou was done dirty in the ENG localization, I swear.

Now a personal joke for Twisted Wonderland players.

Malleus goes to a sci-fi convention and eaves drops on fans of a certain British show....

Hornton hears a Who

I crack my eggs against the side of the bowl I’m gonna whisk them in.

can u guys rb this n add how you crack your eggs in the tags? i thought cracking them in the sinks’s edge is universal until i saw my friend cracking an egg on the counter instead and it was so pervese and diabolical

AGFJAWEFWPIFGAWOFNEAW! SO FREAKIN’ CUTE! <3

Imagine what it’s like to kiss Malleus Draconia…

How when you first asked him to kiss you, Malleus chuckled. Not mockingly or jokingly, but out of pure delight. Did you know how adorable and endearing you were? Or how much you made his heart soar? When others would avoid him or fear him—you, the love of his life, just asked for a kiss. He was more than happy to; cupping your cheek so tenderly before placing his lips ever so lightly on yours. It was chaste, gentle, and even fleeting, as you both wished for more.

How when he’s feeling particularly touch starved Malleus will hold onto your hand; playing with your fingers, brushing your soft skin with the pad of his thumb, tracing the lines in your palm so lightly it almost tickles you. He smiles, almost completely lost in thought as he pulls your hand towards him, kissing your knuckles, your palm, and each and every pad of your finger. It’s tender, sweet, and even playful when his lips ghost the sensitive skin enough that it can even raise a giggle out of you. 

How when you’re cuddling close to him, wrapped tightly in his strong, warm arms that he’ll nestle his head into you as best he can, gripping you so tightly that it’s like he’s afraid you’re some distant dream that he’ll wake up from. Malleus presses kisses all along your shoulder blades, going up your neck and across your jaw—they’re almost desperate as he kisses every inch of you he can reach before he finally buries his head into the crook of your neck. 

How when Malleus and you say “hello” or “goodbye”, each and every time he’ll lean down enough that you can meet his bright green eyes. He’ll grab your hand to press a kiss on your knuckles, then move onto your forehead—lingering there longer than normal, the feeling of his lips upturning into a small smile as he inhales your scent, and admires the warmth of your skin. It’s a ritual; like a token of good luck, or a reminder that you’ll see each other again soon. 

How when you fall asleep near him; having stayed up way longer than you should have, that he’ll take note of how peaceful you look. Admiring the softness of your features, the calmness of your expression—Malleus’ heart warmed by the sheer thought that you trusted him so much that you fell asleep. He’ll pick you up, brushing the hair from your head as he gently places you somewhere more comfortable, pulling a blanket over you as he presses one long, feather light kiss onto the tip of your nose. 

How when he’s desperate for you, he’ll start off by kissing your neck, going up quickly to your jaw, your chin, the corners of your lips before your lips both finally meet. It’s lust filled yet romantic, slow yet fast, intense yet passionate—every emotion all swirled into one as his lips move against yours, almost like a fiery dance that doesn’t miss a step. Malleus will move up and down your neck, light bites peppered across your skin and on your swollen lips. Kisses that leave you breathless and weak at the knees. 

Kissing Malleus is like a kiss in an old movie. It’s old fashioned, complex, passionate, and something that can completely sweep your off of your feet in a moment’s notice. They’re longing and desperate—so full of love that you’re quite sure you could burst. They’re hypnotizing; almost so addicting that you’re constantly craving more.

Kissing Malleus is perfect; a kiss so full of love that it feels like it could only happen once in a lifetime. 

A/N: Okay I am so desperately in love with this man that I’m sure I’m projecting, but I HAD to do something tender and romantic for him and dkjfhkdhf I almost wanted to cry when I started writing it. Ugh, why can’t he be real 😭 I am planning to do something like this for Azul next, but I’m open to more suggestions for characters if anyone has any! Now…brb while I go imagine all of this myself and have my heart burst 🖤 also this isn’t edited because I wrote it in a random burst of inspiration, whoops

💚Request Info💚

If you liked this, please leave a like, comment, or reblog!

Vil: (To Mc from his expensive car) Get in, potato! We’re going shopping!

Jade just wanted to watch the world burn & this was the most brilliant way to do it.

4k Follower Special

In which (Y/n) decides to perform at the Mostro Lounge to earn some money for renovating Ramshackle.

The song she has chosen? Dear Future Husband.

And rumours say that tickets are sold out.

Idea by @vallison-rea

"Is my superstar for the evening ready?"

Azul's excited voice rang through the changing room you currently occupied. The sound of the door being closed gently and his footsteps padding against the floor caused you to turn around and shoot him a small smile as soon as you lay eyes on him. Despite the anxiety that simmered in the depths of your stomach, the excitement that rushed through your veins left you unable to sit still — much to Grim's dismay, who was currently doing your make-up.

A restless huff escaped your lips when Azul appeared behind you, his gloved hands resting on your shoulders. His eyes watched you through the mirror in front of you as he waited for your answer.

Taking in a deep breath, you exclaimed, "Yes, I am—" Yet, the grin on your face disappeared when suddenly, a cloud of dust enveloping your head caused you to break down into coughs. Once the air cleared up, you found your cat companion grinning at you innocently, his paws smeared full with make-up. You shot him a glare. "Grim, that's enough powder!"

The cat monster waved you off and instead began dusting you with perfume. "Yada, yada... one can never wear enough make-up!" he muttered while drawing a lipstick from behind his back, causing you to swipe it out of his hands and firmly plant it on the table before he could cause further trouble.

Behind you, Azul let out a chuckle of amusement. "Are you nervous?" he asked and tilted his head to the side teasingly.

The corners of your lips trembled at his question. "Kind of—"

"You shouldn't be," he cut you off briskly, his eyes full of confidence as his gaze growing more intense. You gulped and sank into your seat, feeling the pressure on you growing, as did his grip on your shoulders. But before he could hurt you, he removed his hands and crossed them behind his back, a charming smile on his face. "Just give it your all. All the seats are sold out, and we wouldn't want to disappoint the customers, no?"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes. "Yes, Azul..." A hum of satisfaction escaped his lips, and he turned around to leave you to your own devices. Yet, another matter that lingered in the back of your mind still wouldn't leave you be. So, before he could walk through the door, you suddenly piped up, "I'll get the money immediately after the show is over, won't I?"

The merman came to a halt, then slowly turned around to nod. "As promised, dear. As promised."

Satisfied with his answer, you averted your gaze to the mirror in front of you again, not noticing as Azul remained in the door frame, his arms crossed and his statue leaning against the frame.

Grim, who had been quietly rolling a lipstick between his paws so far, turned his attention to you and grabbed your hands with his paws. "Now, go out there and get us that money! I'm sick of sleeping on that dusty old mattress..." he exclaimed, his eyes full of high expectations. You were about to wave him off in mild annoyance, but were stunned into silence when his usually so boisterous blue eyes revealed a sheen of worry. "But— But! Beware of those simps, alright? Come back in one piece."

His genuine concern caused a smile to appear on your lips. "Don't worry about it, Grim. They're harmless," you muttered under your breath while patting his head.

Yet, the worry that laced his face still wouldn't disappear. "They better be," he growled, "or else the great Grim is going to tear their heads off!"

Before you could assure him that everything would be alright, Azul interrupted the moment by exclaiming, "Alright, now— showtime!" Without even waiting for a reply from your side, he pulled you out of your chair with the excitement of a child and led you down the hallway that led to the backstage area of the lounge.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes in amusement, practically being able to see Madol signs in his eyes.

Azul came to a halt just behind the curtains, where Jade was already waiting to press a microphone into your trembling hands. Both of them wished you good luck before retreating, leaving you on the dark stage all by yourself. Behind the curtains, you could already hear murmurs and whispers — you gulped at the thought of how many people must be be on the other side.

Suddenly nervous, you gazed down at yourself and smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles on your (F/c) dress. And just as you were sure you had eliminated the last flaw of your gown, the curtains began to move aside; the brightness of the lights turning on at the same time almost blinded you. Simultaneously, someone announced, "We present you now: (Y/n), Prefect of Ramshackle, performing the song 'Dear Future Husband'!" You recognised that voice as Jade's.

Once your eyes got used to the blinding lights, you realised just how many students were seated in front of you — so Azul hadn't exaggerated when he said that tickets for the show were sold out. You were even able to discern some familiar faces at the tables. Your knees suddenly grew weak, but determination flooded your thoughts when the music began to play from the speakers attached all around the lounge.

So, taking on last breath, your eyes then shot open, determined to give them their money's worth.

"Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you began softly while making your way towards the staircase that led down to the tables. If Azul wanted you to put on a show, then you would gladly fulfill his wish. Still clutching the microphone tightly in your hands, you ventured over to the closest table. "My one and only all my life~"

Your eyes fell on a familiar ginger-haired Heartslabyul student, who seemed to be recording a video of you. You sauntered over to him and shot him a wink, smiling right into the camera. "Take me on a date! I deserve a break~" Cater laughed along, as carefree as usually, and zoomed in when you blew him a kiss. "And don't forget the flowers every anniversary," you finished before moving on again.

Cater was grinning to himself as he lowered his phone and began furiously typing in hashtags. "#worthit, #everyonesgonnabejealous, #azulisagenius." Then, in utter satisfaction, he posted the video to his MagiCam account.

Your next victim sat right next to him, a fellow Heartslabyul member — good old Trey. A little chuckle escaped his lips when you grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. "'Cause if you'll treat me right, I'll be the perfect wife," you sang and made him spin you around, as if dancing a waltz. "Buying groceries— Buy-buying what you need." Before you parted again, he was sly enough to press a kiss to your knuckles.

The gesture caught you off-guard at first, but you quickly regained your composure after a few giggles. With a heavy heart, you removed your hand from his and continued along your way.

Ruggie came into view, and he looked excited when he noticed that your attention lay on him. So, once your free hand came down to rest on his shoulder, he began snickering, like he always did. "You got that 9 to 5," you chanted while playfully kneading his tense shoulder with your hand, drawing a relieved sigh from his lips. "But, baby, so do I~" A disappointed frown grew on his face when you removed your hand and sauntered away.

"So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies." A chuckle escaping your lips, you booped Epel's nose, who let out an annoyed grumble at your gesture. You couldn't help but swoon when an adorable pout appeared on his face, which served to only irritate him even further.

Your eyes roamed the room for your next subject — and they landed on Jamil. The poor Scarabia student sank into his seat and pulled the hood over his face when he noticed you approaching. But his attempt to disappear was fruitless with how you nonetheless wrapped an arm around him and put your chin on his head. "I never learned to cook," you sang, swearing that you could feel him tremble beneath you. "But I can write a hook, so sing along with me." Eventually, you took pity on the poor boy, and since Floyd — who sat next to him — seemed so eager to have you around him next, you let Jamil be.

Just as you got into the near vicinity of Floyd, he grabbed your arm and pulled you into his lap, much to your surprise. Nonetheless, you appreciated that his hold on you was loose enough to allow you to breathe properly and to escape should you want to. So, smiling, you chanted, "Sing-sing along with me, hey!" And indeed, Floyd hummed along, very reminiscent of a young child — but when he flashed his sharp teeth to you, you sank into yourself in fear.

A nervous smile on your face, you unwrapped yourself from his grasp and rose to your feet again. The second-year made a few attempts of grabbing you again, but you managed to evade his swipes and simply continued on your way through the tables.

"You gotta know how to treat me like a lady," you sang while intentionally bumping against Leona. "Even when I'm acting crazy." The beastman shot you an annoyed look, followed by an amused scoff.

Next to the dorm leader sat Jack, whose fluffy white hair you ruffled. "Tell me everything's alright~" you continued and hurried away before he could send you a threatening glare. The poor wolf remained frozen in his seat, his cheeks tinted a dark red.

As you walked past the Diasomnia table, you shot Sebek a wink, knowing his reaction would be hilarious. "Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you sang, accompanied by a few giggles. "My one and only all my life~" And indeed, the poor half-fae turned beet red, a series of stuttered insults escaping his lips.

Malleus' eyes were filled with hidden yearning as you seemed to walk right past him, but the pout on his face actually managed to make you turn around and approach him again. "Dear future husband, if you wanna have a special night walk," you cooed and patted his hand that openly lay on the table, fearing that a more daring gesture would get you killed by a certain retainer of his. "Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night." The dragon fae nodded eagerly and watched you intensely as you disappeared into the crowd again.

When you reappeared behind Epel and put a hand on his shoulder, a startled yelp escaped his lips. He sat there, frozen — unwilling to move his upper body left and right along with you to tye rhythm. "After every fight, just apologise. And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right," you sang jokingly, unable to take yourself seriously, resulting in a series of chuckles escaping your lips.

When you distanced yourself from Epel's table again, his eyes were filled with utter confusion. He even turned to Rook for help, but the hunter was busy laughing his soul out, especially when he gazed into the first-year's lost eyes.

"Even if I was wrong. You know I'm never wrong," you cooed and wrapped an arm around Deuce and Ace each. "Why disagree? Why, why disagree?" They nodded along to your singing, laughing and smiling as they always did. Deuce looked mildly nervous with how close you stood to him, and a relieved sigh escaped his lips when you removed your arms again and skipped off into the centre of the lounge.

"You gotta know how to treat me like a lady, even when I'm acting crazy~" you sang and twirled around in circles. The adrenaline pumped through your veins, and you were having the time of your life despite the doubts you had been plagued with earlier. "Tell me everything's alright~" Completely caught in the moment, you would have bumped against a table, if it weren't for an occupant of that particular table jumping up and catching you beforehand.

A gasp escaped your lips at how close of a call it had been. You soon where propped to your feet again by your saviour, who was none other than Lilia. You shot him a grateful smile. "Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you continued smoothly, all the while looking him deep in the eyes. For a moment, only the ancient fae and you seemed to exist. "My one and only all my life~" A charming grin flashed across his face when you bid him a goodbye with a curtsy.

Your eyes were fixated on Vil, your mind rumbling about what to do with him. Touching him in any way was a no-go — he would snap at you for bringing his hair, clothes, or make-up out of order. So, you simply shot him a wave, at which he quirked an eyebrow. "Dear future husband, make time for me," you sang, the lyrics causing his lips to quirk up in amusement. "Don't leave me lonely~" He waved you off, chuckling.

With Rook on the other hand, you decided to go all out. "And no, we'll never see your family more than mine!" you continued while grabbing his signature hat and lowering it onto your own head. Laughing, you struck a few poses with it.

A playful gasp escaped the hunter's lips, his face contorted into an expression that spoke of adoration. The way his amused green eyes seemed to hold you in place made it difficult for you to turn around and walk away, but you eventually managed to tear your gaze away from him, much to his disappointment. Unable to refrain from giggling, you returned the hat to its rightful owner.

Your feet somehow carried you back to the Diasomnia table, where you approached the only sleeping occupant, who managed to not be disturbed by all the noise around him somehow — Silver. You nudged his shoulder, causing him to fall into Lilia, who seemed amused by the whole situation. "I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed," you cooed and shot Silver a wink when he awoke from his slumber. Due to how disoriented he seemed, it looked like he didn't have the faintest clue of what was happening.

"Open doors for me and you might get some kisses~" you sang as you walked past Jade, making sure to wiggle your eyebrows at him jokingly. The gesture caused a little chuckle to escape his lips.

"Don't have a dirty mind," you cooed and booped Kalim's nose. "Just be a classy guy." With how innocent the Scarabia dorm leader was, he began laughing and cheering for you as you continued to the next table.

There, you found your next victim — Azul. A grin occupied your face when you looked him dead in the eyes and sang, "Buy me a ring. Buy-buy me a ring, babe." You held your free hand out to him, causing him to chuckle in amusement. His eyes watched you intensely while you skipped to the adjacent table.

Riddle sat there, and his face already had turned red without you even doing anything — just looking at him and winking was enough to make his cheeks become as red as his hair. "You gotta know how to treat me like a lady, even when I'm acting crazy." Giggling, you bowed deeply — just like you had seen Deuce often do, but this time, the gesture held a teasing connotation to it. "Tell me everything's alright~" When you straightened your back again, you found steam of embarrassment coming out of the dorm leader's ears.

Proud of yourself, you carried on — your sights set on the floating tablet in a shadowy corner. "Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you chanted while drawing a heart onto the screen of the tablet with your index finger. "My one and only all my life!" No sound came out of the tablet's speakers, but you swore you could hear a sound akin to some wires short-circuiting.

The end of the song was nearing, and for that, you hurried back to the stage. Once having arrived there, you finished, "Future husband, better love me right~" Your voice rang through the large lounge, and you put every ounce of your remaining energy into the grand finale.

Eventually, the music came to a halt and faded out into silence. Your chest heaving up and down, you opened your eyes to find everyone frozen in their seats. Yet, that quickly changed, and the quietness that used to envelop the lounge quickly turned into defeaning applause. Students rose from their seats and clapped and cheered their souls out.

"Thank you, thank you!" you cried out happily and bowed.

Students threw roses onto the stage, causing a large smile to appear on your lips. Careful not to pick up a rose with a thorny stem, you grabbed the one that lay by your feet and twirled it between your fingers. By then, the applause had faded out, and everyone was watching you again, as if they had been enchanted.

"That was (Y/n) with 'Dear Future Husband'," the announcer piped up. "But one question remains: who will be her dear future husband?"

"Me!" almost everyone yelled out at once.

Your heart sank in dread when the guests all began glaring at one another, some expressing their hostility more openly than others. That was the moment you realised: you had messed up.

(Y/n): (Mumbles after they stub their toe against some furniture) Fuck me...

Malleus: (Looks at (Y/n) with a seductive look on their face) Well that can be arranged, my love.

(Y/n): (Realizes that Malleus heard what they've said) WAIT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Yes, I made this shitty edit. No, I’m not giving y’all the context for this.

I honestly love this! It puts me in a good mood as I'm starting my winter intersession classes.

In which Grim's bragging causes the whole school to become aware of (Y/n)'s amazing cooking skills — to the point where everyone wants to try her cooking now.

Request by @azureflame.

"(Y/n) always cooks for me! And her food is delicious, too!"

Grim had his chest puffed out when Ace and Deuce leaned across the table to take in the delicious smell wafting over to them. Their eyes were glossed over, and they looked like mindless zombies when they were about to instinctively grab the lunch box he held in his paws. Luckily, the cat monster managed to jump out of their way before they could steal his lunch.

That's when the duo snapped out of their trances again, being pulled back into reality by the loud chattering and noises within the cafeteria.

Ace looked down at his stomach to find it rumbling, which didn't go away when he looked at the dreary cafeteria food. His eyebrows furrowed in exasperation, he cried out, "(Y/n) makes you food, Grim?"

The cat monster nodded in happiness as he pulled out a fork you had given him and threw it over his head. As if he would ever use cutlery with these paws of his. Instead, he grabbed the entire box and dug his face into it, causing his two Heartslabyul friends to shy away in disgust. "Yeah! She always says I have to eat a lot if I want to become the greatest mage of all one day!" he murmured after he had finished the rice with tuna. Yet, green bits of vegetables remained, and he eyed them in dismay. "Until then, I have to eat my daily portions of broccoli..."

A fond smile appeared on Deuce's face. "My mom always made me eat broccoli, too..."

Ace punched Deuce's shoulder before raising his hands into the air proudly. "Deuce and I are big boys now." Then, he sent Grim a sly grin and crossed his arms. "No one is forcing us to eat vegetables."

Deuce let out a huff, rolling his eyes. "Riddle always tells you to eat your carrots though—"

"Shut up. Grim doesn't need to know that," Ace hissed while whacking Deuce over the head. As the blue-haired teen rubbed his head in pain, his other friend turned to the cat monster again, the arrogant grin quickly having dissolved into something akin to desperation. "Anyway, can we try her cooking? Just out of curiosity, of course."

Grim, after having swallowed the broccoli, nodded. "Sure! I'm sure she'll whip something up for you two easily."

"Count us in."

The three boys slowly turned their heads into the direction where that voice had come from, only to find all the dorm leaders and standing by the end of their table, all of their eyes focused on the cat monster and the empty lunch box in his paws. Immediately, panic became evident in the three first-years' eyes, all of them fearing that they would be punished for some misdemeanor again.

"Huh—?" Grim choked out nervously. "When did you guys get here?"

Leona waved him off and yawned. "I'm not sure if the herbivore's food is better than what Ruggie usually gets me, but if meat is involved, then I'm in," he murmured, not waiting for a reply before he turned around and returned to his table, where he put plugs into his twitching ears before nestling his head into his arms to take a nap.

"But—" the cat monster tried to protest, but was cut off by another dorm leader.

"Are her tarts as good as Trey's?" Riddle asked with a quirked eyebrow.

Cater's eyes shone in excitement as he turned to his dorm leader and grabbed him by the shoulders. "I can see it happening already: The Great Bakeoff: Twisted Wonderland Edition!" he cried out in happiness before turning around and dragging Riddle away. "Oh— that's gonna bring in so many views!"

Grim's ears were starting to hurt with how many people were talking at once, and none of them seemed to pay him any attention, too! So this must be how you felt all the time when spending time with Deuce, Ace, and him.

"Would she be interest in working at the Mostro Lounge as a cook?" Azul asked with a little grin on his face, already counting the Madol he would make in his head.

Grim bared his teeth at him. "Back off, she's my cook!"

"I pay well."

Grim's aggressiveness immediately vanished and was replaced by a smile. "Alright, you can have her!"

"Oh— oh!" Kalim butted in and took the cat's paws into his. "Do you think she can make curry?"

"I think so—"

Squeals of excitement escaped Kalim's lips. "What splendid news! Please ask her to make me something, too. But put a lot of spices into it! I don't like bland food... and a lot of people from the other dorms tend to only add salt and pepper to their food, sadly."

Vil tilted his head to the side. "How about smoothies?" he asked, to which Grim couldn't help but nod in disgust. So many times had he tried your weight-loss smoothies, but nothing could beat regular tuna. The Pomefiore dorm leader seemed satisfied with his answer. "Add me to the list of orders, please."

"Wait, it's a list already—?" A frustrated huff escaped the cat's throat. "Help, I can't keep track of everything!"

"Don't worry, I got the whole conversation recorded. I can send it to you later," it came from the floating tablet, Idia's frail voice ringing out from the speakers. "As for me... c-could (Y/n) make me... make me..." He trailed off, the gap growing longer and longer as he tried to think of something. Yet, when his mind became completely blank, he cried out in defeat and embarrassment. "By the Great Seven, why must I always be like this when ordering?!"

When Malleus stepped up behind Grim, the cat monster felt every hair on his body stand up in something akin to fear. "If I may," Malleus began, his large shadow looming over the shaking cat, "can I ask for my Child of Man to make me something sweet?"

That was enough — too many people trying to talk to him at once. A scowl on his face, Grim jumped up from his seat and climbed onto the table to wave his short arms around in the air. Much to his luck, he was able to draw everyone's attention, causing them to quiet down and look at him expectantly. Taking a deep breath, Grim began, "You know what." A mischievous smile made it's way to his lips. "You can all get your food— for a certain price."

"How many Madol do you want?" Azul asked while pushing his glasses up.

The grin on the cat monster's face grew at that question. "No, no. The great Grim doesn't deal in Madol," he exclaimed and clapped his hands together. "He deals in tuna cans!"

Ok.

adults don't stop having imaginary friends we just start referring to them as original characters

My vibes? Good.

My life? Still in shambles, but less shitty.

Hotel? Trivago.

When are you going to do the part 2 of the fae snowy celebrations

I'll probably work on the rough draft for part 2 tomorrow or some time this week. I'm going back to college for winter classes on Jan. 3, so I've still got some time.

I'm honestly happy it got as much engagement as it did. It's got 64 notes as of the typing of this reply. I would've continued the series even if it wasn't so well received because I like the MalleYuu ship. Plus, I wanna keep making fanfics to improve my storytelling ability.

Also, since I've spontaneously came up with this idea, Idk how many parts it's gonna have. Maybe it'll have at least three, but I can't promise you all that. I'll see what happens later on this week.

I’m not sure how they think getting rid of NSFW content would help their revenue. A lot of people (including myself) go to Tumblr PRECISELY because of that. Considering that you have to be at least 13 years old to make a Tumblr account, I don’t expect all of the posts to be sunshine & rainbows (sure people lie about their age, but that’s beside the point).

are you kidding me

A Fae's Snowy Celebration (Part 1)

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Malleus, (Y/n) (gender neutral), Grim & Lilia

Pairing: Malleus x (Y/n) (gender neutral)

Word count: +1K

Warnings: Mentions of poverty & neglect

Author's note: This is my first ever fanfic, but I'm certain y'all are gonna love it! I'd like to give thanks to a friend of mine on Discord for suggesting the title via Discord because lord knows I can't come up with creative titles. ALSO, PLEASE tag anyone (with their consent ofc) who'd be potentially interested in this story, especially people who like MalleYuu.

Christmas break has arrived for the students at Night Raven College. Every student expressed their joy knowing that they don’t have to read a single damn textbook for some time. Some considered traveling to another country, some were wanting to spend some quality time with their families & some preferred playing video games in their room all day. Unfortunately for (Y/n), they had none of those privileges. Instead, they’ll just have to survive the harsh winter as best as they could. They were fortunate enough to have the ghosts & Grim around to keep them company.

As for Malleus, he wasn’t neither thrilled nor upset about returning to his home for the holidays. As much as he appreciates Lilia, Sebek & Silver’s company, he wishes he could make some fond memories with someone new, someone who doesn’t fear him… That’s when he realized something! (Y/n) fulfilled both of those requirements!

Seeing Malleus’s face suddenly light up caused Lilia to appear by his side. “What’s on your mind, Malleus” asked Lilia. He already knew Malleus was thinking about (Y/n), but he still wanted to see his joyous expression that appeared once in a blue moon.

“Lilia. Go see if (Y/n) has any plans for this Christmas break. If not, please inform them that they’re invited to stay at the castle” Malleus requested.

“Fufu. As you wish” chuckled Lilia before teleporting to the Ramshackle dorm. After knocking at the front door & shouting “Prefect! Are you there,” he only waited for a few seconds before (Y/n) answered the door.

“Hi, Lilia! Come inside. It’s getting cold already” requested (Y/n). They were preparing for the harsh winter by washing their warmest clothes & thickest blankets, gathering firewood & so on & so forth. It was precisely because of their preparations that they were caught off guard by Lilia’s arrival. “I’m sorry that I can’t offer you anything to eat or drink, Lilia” (Y/n) lamented. “I’m gathering anything I can for Grim & I to survive this winter. I heard that it’s gonna be a harsh one.”

“No need to worry, (Y/n)” replied Lilia as he waved his hand. “I came here on behalf of Lord Malleus. He wanted me to inquire you about your plans for this Christmas break. It seems that you lack any, yes?”

(Y/n) lowered their head in shame. “That’s unfortunately right. But why does Tsunotarou want to know about that” asked (Y/n) without trying not to cry. The thought of not being able to open presents, eat plenty of good food & create fond memories that’ll be remembered for years to come left them in a state of mental anguish.

“Well, well” said Lilia with a chuckle. “Fortunately for you my lord wanted to let you know that you’ve been invited to stay at his castle for this Christmas break. Do you accept the invitation or not?”

(Y/n) looked at Lilia with a look of genuine shock & surprise. They get to stay at an actual castle?! In their mind, it would be stupid to not accept the invitation since they’d be living in much better conditions than in the Ramshackle dorm. “Yes! Yes, I accept the invitation! I’ll tell Grim the news right away” exclaimed (Y/n). They haphazardly threw on their jacket & ran outside to call for Grim who was collecting sticks for firewood. “GRIM! GRIM, COME INSIDE! I’VE GOT GOOD NEWS!”

He ran toward (Y/n) with a few sticks in his mouth & spat them out by the time he was at the front door. “It better be that I don’t have to collect any more sticks” complained Grim. Even though (Y/n) collected some firewood, they asked Grim to help gather some more. He was, of course, annoyed that he had to do manual labor, but seeing them do so much to prepare for the harsh, winter cold made him felt a tinge of guilt. Plus, he knew the Ramshackle ghosts & (Y/n) would give him hell for not helping the latter out.

After ushering Grim inside, (Y/n) shuts the door with a large grin across their face. “We’re staying at Tsunotarou’s place this Christmas break! Can you believe it? We don’t have to wonder if we’re going to eat or not! We’ll only have to think about what we want to eat!”

After seeing Lilia nod, Grim’s eyes widened. “Does this mean I can have as many deluxe canned tunas as I want?! Any meal that I’ve ever wanted to try, I can have?!”

“That’s right. I also want to let you both know that you have the rest of this day to pack all of your personal items,” said Lilia.

Suddenly, (Y/n) & Grim panic. It was already afternoon & they didn’t have a travel suitcase. There could be one somewhere in the Ramshackle dorm, but it would take way too long to find it.

Seeing their panicked faces amused Lilia greatly. “Oh, I was messing with you two. We’re heading to the Hall of Mirrors to arrive at his castle tomorrow morning. If you guys want, I’ll also lend you a travel suitcase so you could quickly pack your items.”

“Lilia! You nearly gave us a heart attack” screeched (Y/n).

“Yeah, I was worried that I wouldn’t have enough time to get ready” yelled Grim.

Now Lilia couldn’t hold back his laughter. He knew that he could scare them by saying they’d have less than a day to get everything ready, but seeing their legs nearly give out was not what he anticipated. The look of dread on their faces was just icing on the cake. “Alright, alright. I’ll head back to my dorm & get the travel suitcase for you.”

After Lilia teleported back to the Diasomnia dorm, Malleus was quickly informed of the good news. “To think that my dearest Child of Man will be staying at my castle for this Christmas break. How shall I spend time with them? Should I show them my rose garden? Should I show them some of the beautiful scenery that the Valley of Thorns has to offer? I cannot wait for them to arrive at the Hall of Mirror tomorrow morning” Malleus thought to himself. The immense wave of euphoria had him oblivious to the fact that he was shaking on the spot.

Speaking of Lilia, he was having a field day. Not only did he scare the living daylights out of both (Y/n) & Grim, but he’s also getting to see the Malleus Draconia behave like a child (Malleus is still a child in his mind). He knew that this Christmas break would be an interesting one.

As he was on his way to get that travel suitcase for (Y/n) & Grim, he thought about what the former had said earlier. To think that they genuinely thought of going into starvation broke his heart. Just how neglectful to those two can the headmaster be?! Before finding what he was looking for, Lilia rubbed his face while sighing heavily. He could only hope that (Y/n) & Grim could stay at the castle for more than just Christmas break.

Omg! Thank you so much for this! I love it!

Well since requests are open, may I request prompts 2 & 8 with Yandere Malleus? He courts her & asks if she wants to be his queen, to which she says yes. He's ecstatic about this, but he later learns that this was because she was scared of him hurting anyone, especially her friends.

Koko ni Iru

You could never get used to this. Not really. As flattering as it was to have countless of dresses and jewelry right under your fingertips, it came with a certain expectation. A responsibility to repay all the money spent on your clothes and accessories alone, and you hadn’t even counted other special yet conditional treatments you received.

Because a stranger, especially an alien like you, didn’t deserve this kind of wealth. Let alone ruling myriads of dark creatures and humans.

“You look gorgeous, darling.”

You gasped softly and tensed when a pair of arms enveloped you from behind. Just like how you could never truly get used to being a queen, you weren’t used to being the recipient of Malleus’ affection too. It just felt… wrong. Sure, you loved him, but as a friend! He was this awkward gentleman that you couldn’t help but adore, and you even sacrificed half of your resting time just to meet him at night.

So, then, why did he have to break your trust? Why did he have to hurt you with his feelings? Why did you have to suffer for your kindness?

“Thank you.”

You toyed with the emerald pendant on your neck. Sometime after your friendship had fully established, Malleus began to give you lots of presents. Clothes, jewelry, and occasionally small services like fixing the holes on the ceiling. There were also times when he brought you strange yet magical things that worth more than your life. The latter reminded you of a cat sometimes, and that was perhaps one of your mistakes; believing he was as harmless as a cat.

Because even a cat wasn’t without its claws.

Except he didn’t scratch you. He would never scratch you, but your friends weren’t an exception. And if let loose, he might attack other people too. That was why you agreed with this arrangement. Another reason was to repay your debt for accepting his gifts, because no matter how generous he was as a friend, he was still a fae and you couldn’t trust a fae.

“What are you thinking about?”

Many, many things. Things that you couldn’t fully tell him even if you tried, because that meant you’d have to suffer more and you weren’t ready for it.

“… Just the future.”

“Aw… are you scared?” he chuckled in your ear and leaned forward even more until he rested his chin on your shoulder. His hand stroked your cheek, and had you were in a different situation, you would’ve closed your eyes blissfully and melted at his touch. “Don’t fret. Everything will be fine. We will have a big family and we will have our own happy ending.”

You gripped his arm. Happy ending… did it even exist? You’d always known that you’d be stuck in Twisted Wonderland forever, what’s with Crowley disappointing you over and over again, but it hadn’t truly dawned on you until Malleus forced you to marry him. Still, life was infinitely better when you had your friends beside you.

Not in here, where you sat on the dressing table clad in a royal attire that was too heavy and too thick and too crushing. Not in here, where your other seniors became guards and protected you against anything and anyone who harmed or saved you. Not in here, where your husband and captor cradled you from behind like vines that sprouted from the tower.

And although you did this for the sake of your friends, it didn’t mean you weren’t sad.

“Don’t cry. Tears don’t suit you.”

Unknowingly, a tear slipped from your lash and Malleus quickly wiped it away. A trace of white powder clung to his gloved finger like a stain, a drug he’d gladly consume over and over again if it meant he could drown in the euphoria of love. Of what he thought was love.

Or perhaps he’d always known it wasn’t love, but choose to ignore it instead. After all, why should he concern himself with the semantics? You were here, and that was all mattered.

“You’ve been doing so well, after all. And I hate to see you in anything other than a smile. So, for the sake of your friends…”

Slowly, you raised your head.

“Won’t you smile for me, my love?”

And smile, you did.

For the sake of your friends.

Malleus: (ERROR 404)

This has been on my mind for awhile now.

So malleus loves ice cream and hates cake. What would happen if he discovered ice cream cake?

Yeah, I’m just gonna admit that this was me before I entered college. At one point I wanted to be either an author or artist, but never pursued those careers because I believed that I wouldn’t have enough to pay my bills. That kind of mentality, along with other reasons that I can’t list atm, is what led me to be so unsure what my major should be. I can now proudly say that I finally chose to study welding, but part of the reason for this is because being a professional welder is profitable. I’ll admit that I’m still stuck in the whole “Dreams don’t help pay the bills” mentality.

everyone posting that “my generation lost hobbies” post is so stupid like no you fuckwits hobbies were stolen from you by a system that demands you work 8 hours a day to earn a tiny percentage of the profit you generate, leaving you too exhausted and brainwashed to enjoy exercising passion without financial incentive

I'm actually speechless. Who manages his Instagram account? Himself or some other person? Idk if he himself posted it or if someone else did.

So… Snoop Dogg posted a Pomefiore meme on his Insta… So that’s a thing now-

Wdym you explained them badly? XD

I Describe the Obey Me Characters Really Badly:

Lucifer: Struggling single father with no emotional intelligence and the horniest fans.

Mammon: Former gifted kid now local fuckup with ADHD, burnout, and a thing for praise. He’s the person in Central Park surrounded by pigeons except the pigeons are crows. Perpetually broke. Invested in Bitcoin.

Leviathan: The guy that had a totally normal life and childhood until about 15 minutes into the documentary when they start talking about how he never left his fucking room. They then blame his crimes on all the violent video games and anime he watched.

Satan: Nerd that can and will snap you in half like a toothpick if you give him a reason. Part time catboy, full time menace to Lucifer.

Asmodeus: Beauty Youtuber and influencer. Yes, influencer is a very sinister title and it fits him perfectly. He’s pure evil, he’s the sweetest boy, I want to braid his hair, I want to slap him in the face, I want to hold his hand and tell him he’s loved, I want to put shaving cream in his shampoo.

Beelzebub: The only person in a twenty mile radius with an ounce of emotional intelligence in his body. He eats to fill the void, but also works out so he’s shredded as fuck.

Belphegor: Simultaneously the biggest brat in existence and the sweetest thing. Will end your bloodline and not feel bad, then go give hugs to his twin.

Diavolo: Part time himbo, full time pain in Lucifer’s neck. Starved for attention and affection, he’s so lonely… he’s also a member of the aristocracy so VIVE LE PROLETARIAT UPRISING!

Barbatos: Far more sus than Solomon but no one acts like it. Can see through time and space but chooses not to because he’s loyal to his part time Himbo prince.

Simeon: Was mischaracterized by the fandom until midway through season 2. Lucifer’s annoying ex brother. Brother breakup 🥺 also totally a spy. Another single father. The reason schools have a “cover your sinful shoulders” rule. Shifty as fuck but also the only person I’d trust.

Solomon: Was dubbed a meme lord once upon a time ago, now he is a grandpa. Chronic mansplainer with magic and anxiety. Has probably set you on fire.

Luke: Racist ten year old. Your son. Simeon’s son. Everyone’s son. He’s also a chihuahua. Love him.

This ain't much, but one of my older brothers who's about 25 years old is getting two LEGO sets for Christmas. He bought one of them & the other was bought by a friend of my oldest brother.

Don't feel ashamed of doing "CHILDISH" things

•buy toys/dolls/crayons •play with Legos •play old videogames/dress up games •weave friendship bracelets •watch cartoons •use stickers •draw pics of your favorite characters

If it makes you feel nice, do it. Don’t even worry about what other people think, because it doesn’t matter–if it brings you happiness, it’s not “ridiculous”, or “immature”.

You deserve to enjoy yourself.

I just wanna let the few followers that I have know about this asap.

TUMBLR IS RE-ACTIVATING SAFE MODE!

This is essentially a shadow-ban on the entire NSFW blogging community.

If you run a NSFW blog, you will soon notice that your audience has dropped substantially.  You cannot prevent this from happening, but if you prepare your followers for the forced “safe-mode” change, you can reduce the impact.  

REBLOG - SHARE - WARN YOUR FOLLOWERS

BE PREPARED TO DISABLE SAFE-MODE ONCE AGAIN!

I like the fact that this appeared in my dash when I’m actually in my 20′s.

you’re only in your 20’s. relax.

Yuu: Hey, Tsunotaruo?

Malleus: Yes, Child of Man?

Yuu: How come I'm the only one that you refer to as "Child of Man" even though there's other humans in Night Raven College as well?

Malleus: They all may be a child of man, but they're not my child of man.

Yuu: O-Oh... *Blushes*

Malleus: *Is now smirking*