TW: Blood

Jade just wanted to watch the world burn & this was the most brilliant way to do it.

4k Follower Special

In which (Y/n) decides to perform at the Mostro Lounge to earn some money for renovating Ramshackle.

The song she has chosen? Dear Future Husband.

And rumours say that tickets are sold out.

Idea by @vallison-rea

"Is my superstar for the evening ready?"

Azul's excited voice rang through the changing room you currently occupied. The sound of the door being closed gently and his footsteps padding against the floor caused you to turn around and shoot him a small smile as soon as you lay eyes on him. Despite the anxiety that simmered in the depths of your stomach, the excitement that rushed through your veins left you unable to sit still — much to Grim's dismay, who was currently doing your make-up.

A restless huff escaped your lips when Azul appeared behind you, his gloved hands resting on your shoulders. His eyes watched you through the mirror in front of you as he waited for your answer.

Taking in a deep breath, you exclaimed, "Yes, I am—" Yet, the grin on your face disappeared when suddenly, a cloud of dust enveloping your head caused you to break down into coughs. Once the air cleared up, you found your cat companion grinning at you innocently, his paws smeared full with make-up. You shot him a glare. "Grim, that's enough powder!"

The cat monster waved you off and instead began dusting you with perfume. "Yada, yada... one can never wear enough make-up!" he muttered while drawing a lipstick from behind his back, causing you to swipe it out of his hands and firmly plant it on the table before he could cause further trouble.

Behind you, Azul let out a chuckle of amusement. "Are you nervous?" he asked and tilted his head to the side teasingly.

The corners of your lips trembled at his question. "Kind of—"

"You shouldn't be," he cut you off briskly, his eyes full of confidence as his gaze growing more intense. You gulped and sank into your seat, feeling the pressure on you growing, as did his grip on your shoulders. But before he could hurt you, he removed his hands and crossed them behind his back, a charming smile on his face. "Just give it your all. All the seats are sold out, and we wouldn't want to disappoint the customers, no?"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes. "Yes, Azul..." A hum of satisfaction escaped his lips, and he turned around to leave you to your own devices. Yet, another matter that lingered in the back of your mind still wouldn't leave you be. So, before he could walk through the door, you suddenly piped up, "I'll get the money immediately after the show is over, won't I?"

The merman came to a halt, then slowly turned around to nod. "As promised, dear. As promised."

Satisfied with his answer, you averted your gaze to the mirror in front of you again, not noticing as Azul remained in the door frame, his arms crossed and his statue leaning against the frame.

Grim, who had been quietly rolling a lipstick between his paws so far, turned his attention to you and grabbed your hands with his paws. "Now, go out there and get us that money! I'm sick of sleeping on that dusty old mattress..." he exclaimed, his eyes full of high expectations. You were about to wave him off in mild annoyance, but were stunned into silence when his usually so boisterous blue eyes revealed a sheen of worry. "But— But! Beware of those simps, alright? Come back in one piece."

His genuine concern caused a smile to appear on your lips. "Don't worry about it, Grim. They're harmless," you muttered under your breath while patting his head.

Yet, the worry that laced his face still wouldn't disappear. "They better be," he growled, "or else the great Grim is going to tear their heads off!"

Before you could assure him that everything would be alright, Azul interrupted the moment by exclaiming, "Alright, now— showtime!" Without even waiting for a reply from your side, he pulled you out of your chair with the excitement of a child and led you down the hallway that led to the backstage area of the lounge.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes in amusement, practically being able to see Madol signs in his eyes.

Azul came to a halt just behind the curtains, where Jade was already waiting to press a microphone into your trembling hands. Both of them wished you good luck before retreating, leaving you on the dark stage all by yourself. Behind the curtains, you could already hear murmurs and whispers — you gulped at the thought of how many people must be be on the other side.

Suddenly nervous, you gazed down at yourself and smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles on your (F/c) dress. And just as you were sure you had eliminated the last flaw of your gown, the curtains began to move aside; the brightness of the lights turning on at the same time almost blinded you. Simultaneously, someone announced, "We present you now: (Y/n), Prefect of Ramshackle, performing the song 'Dear Future Husband'!" You recognised that voice as Jade's.

Once your eyes got used to the blinding lights, you realised just how many students were seated in front of you — so Azul hadn't exaggerated when he said that tickets for the show were sold out. You were even able to discern some familiar faces at the tables. Your knees suddenly grew weak, but determination flooded your thoughts when the music began to play from the speakers attached all around the lounge.

So, taking on last breath, your eyes then shot open, determined to give them their money's worth.

"Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you began softly while making your way towards the staircase that led down to the tables. If Azul wanted you to put on a show, then you would gladly fulfill his wish. Still clutching the microphone tightly in your hands, you ventured over to the closest table. "My one and only all my life~"

Your eyes fell on a familiar ginger-haired Heartslabyul student, who seemed to be recording a video of you. You sauntered over to him and shot him a wink, smiling right into the camera. "Take me on a date! I deserve a break~" Cater laughed along, as carefree as usually, and zoomed in when you blew him a kiss. "And don't forget the flowers every anniversary," you finished before moving on again.

Cater was grinning to himself as he lowered his phone and began furiously typing in hashtags. "#worthit, #everyonesgonnabejealous, #azulisagenius." Then, in utter satisfaction, he posted the video to his MagiCam account.

Your next victim sat right next to him, a fellow Heartslabyul member — good old Trey. A little chuckle escaped his lips when you grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. "'Cause if you'll treat me right, I'll be the perfect wife," you sang and made him spin you around, as if dancing a waltz. "Buying groceries— Buy-buying what you need." Before you parted again, he was sly enough to press a kiss to your knuckles.

The gesture caught you off-guard at first, but you quickly regained your composure after a few giggles. With a heavy heart, you removed your hand from his and continued along your way.

Ruggie came into view, and he looked excited when he noticed that your attention lay on him. So, once your free hand came down to rest on his shoulder, he began snickering, like he always did. "You got that 9 to 5," you chanted while playfully kneading his tense shoulder with your hand, drawing a relieved sigh from his lips. "But, baby, so do I~" A disappointed frown grew on his face when you removed your hand and sauntered away.

"So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies." A chuckle escaping your lips, you booped Epel's nose, who let out an annoyed grumble at your gesture. You couldn't help but swoon when an adorable pout appeared on his face, which served to only irritate him even further.

Your eyes roamed the room for your next subject — and they landed on Jamil. The poor Scarabia student sank into his seat and pulled the hood over his face when he noticed you approaching. But his attempt to disappear was fruitless with how you nonetheless wrapped an arm around him and put your chin on his head. "I never learned to cook," you sang, swearing that you could feel him tremble beneath you. "But I can write a hook, so sing along with me." Eventually, you took pity on the poor boy, and since Floyd — who sat next to him — seemed so eager to have you around him next, you let Jamil be.

Just as you got into the near vicinity of Floyd, he grabbed your arm and pulled you into his lap, much to your surprise. Nonetheless, you appreciated that his hold on you was loose enough to allow you to breathe properly and to escape should you want to. So, smiling, you chanted, "Sing-sing along with me, hey!" And indeed, Floyd hummed along, very reminiscent of a young child — but when he flashed his sharp teeth to you, you sank into yourself in fear.

A nervous smile on your face, you unwrapped yourself from his grasp and rose to your feet again. The second-year made a few attempts of grabbing you again, but you managed to evade his swipes and simply continued on your way through the tables.

"You gotta know how to treat me like a lady," you sang while intentionally bumping against Leona. "Even when I'm acting crazy." The beastman shot you an annoyed look, followed by an amused scoff.

Next to the dorm leader sat Jack, whose fluffy white hair you ruffled. "Tell me everything's alright~" you continued and hurried away before he could send you a threatening glare. The poor wolf remained frozen in his seat, his cheeks tinted a dark red.

As you walked past the Diasomnia table, you shot Sebek a wink, knowing his reaction would be hilarious. "Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you sang, accompanied by a few giggles. "My one and only all my life~" And indeed, the poor half-fae turned beet red, a series of stuttered insults escaping his lips.

Malleus' eyes were filled with hidden yearning as you seemed to walk right past him, but the pout on his face actually managed to make you turn around and approach him again. "Dear future husband, if you wanna have a special night walk," you cooed and patted his hand that openly lay on the table, fearing that a more daring gesture would get you killed by a certain retainer of his. "Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night." The dragon fae nodded eagerly and watched you intensely as you disappeared into the crowd again.

When you reappeared behind Epel and put a hand on his shoulder, a startled yelp escaped his lips. He sat there, frozen — unwilling to move his upper body left and right along with you to tye rhythm. "After every fight, just apologise. And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right," you sang jokingly, unable to take yourself seriously, resulting in a series of chuckles escaping your lips.

When you distanced yourself from Epel's table again, his eyes were filled with utter confusion. He even turned to Rook for help, but the hunter was busy laughing his soul out, especially when he gazed into the first-year's lost eyes.

"Even if I was wrong. You know I'm never wrong," you cooed and wrapped an arm around Deuce and Ace each. "Why disagree? Why, why disagree?" They nodded along to your singing, laughing and smiling as they always did. Deuce looked mildly nervous with how close you stood to him, and a relieved sigh escaped his lips when you removed your arms again and skipped off into the centre of the lounge.

"You gotta know how to treat me like a lady, even when I'm acting crazy~" you sang and twirled around in circles. The adrenaline pumped through your veins, and you were having the time of your life despite the doubts you had been plagued with earlier. "Tell me everything's alright~" Completely caught in the moment, you would have bumped against a table, if it weren't for an occupant of that particular table jumping up and catching you beforehand.

A gasp escaped your lips at how close of a call it had been. You soon where propped to your feet again by your saviour, who was none other than Lilia. You shot him a grateful smile. "Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you continued smoothly, all the while looking him deep in the eyes. For a moment, only the ancient fae and you seemed to exist. "My one and only all my life~" A charming grin flashed across his face when you bid him a goodbye with a curtsy.

Your eyes were fixated on Vil, your mind rumbling about what to do with him. Touching him in any way was a no-go — he would snap at you for bringing his hair, clothes, or make-up out of order. So, you simply shot him a wave, at which he quirked an eyebrow. "Dear future husband, make time for me," you sang, the lyrics causing his lips to quirk up in amusement. "Don't leave me lonely~" He waved you off, chuckling.

With Rook on the other hand, you decided to go all out. "And no, we'll never see your family more than mine!" you continued while grabbing his signature hat and lowering it onto your own head. Laughing, you struck a few poses with it.

A playful gasp escaped the hunter's lips, his face contorted into an expression that spoke of adoration. The way his amused green eyes seemed to hold you in place made it difficult for you to turn around and walk away, but you eventually managed to tear your gaze away from him, much to his disappointment. Unable to refrain from giggling, you returned the hat to its rightful owner.

Your feet somehow carried you back to the Diasomnia table, where you approached the only sleeping occupant, who managed to not be disturbed by all the noise around him somehow — Silver. You nudged his shoulder, causing him to fall into Lilia, who seemed amused by the whole situation. "I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed," you cooed and shot Silver a wink when he awoke from his slumber. Due to how disoriented he seemed, it looked like he didn't have the faintest clue of what was happening.

"Open doors for me and you might get some kisses~" you sang as you walked past Jade, making sure to wiggle your eyebrows at him jokingly. The gesture caused a little chuckle to escape his lips.

"Don't have a dirty mind," you cooed and booped Kalim's nose. "Just be a classy guy." With how innocent the Scarabia dorm leader was, he began laughing and cheering for you as you continued to the next table.

There, you found your next victim — Azul. A grin occupied your face when you looked him dead in the eyes and sang, "Buy me a ring. Buy-buy me a ring, babe." You held your free hand out to him, causing him to chuckle in amusement. His eyes watched you intensely while you skipped to the adjacent table.

Riddle sat there, and his face already had turned red without you even doing anything — just looking at him and winking was enough to make his cheeks become as red as his hair. "You gotta know how to treat me like a lady, even when I'm acting crazy." Giggling, you bowed deeply — just like you had seen Deuce often do, but this time, the gesture held a teasing connotation to it. "Tell me everything's alright~" When you straightened your back again, you found steam of embarrassment coming out of the dorm leader's ears.

Proud of yourself, you carried on — your sights set on the floating tablet in a shadowy corner. "Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you chanted while drawing a heart onto the screen of the tablet with your index finger. "My one and only all my life!" No sound came out of the tablet's speakers, but you swore you could hear a sound akin to some wires short-circuiting.

The end of the song was nearing, and for that, you hurried back to the stage. Once having arrived there, you finished, "Future husband, better love me right~" Your voice rang through the large lounge, and you put every ounce of your remaining energy into the grand finale.

Eventually, the music came to a halt and faded out into silence. Your chest heaving up and down, you opened your eyes to find everyone frozen in their seats. Yet, that quickly changed, and the quietness that used to envelop the lounge quickly turned into defeaning applause. Students rose from their seats and clapped and cheered their souls out.

"Thank you, thank you!" you cried out happily and bowed.

Students threw roses onto the stage, causing a large smile to appear on your lips. Careful not to pick up a rose with a thorny stem, you grabbed the one that lay by your feet and twirled it between your fingers. By then, the applause had faded out, and everyone was watching you again, as if they had been enchanted.

"That was (Y/n) with 'Dear Future Husband'," the announcer piped up. "But one question remains: who will be her dear future husband?"

"Me!" almost everyone yelled out at once.

Your heart sank in dread when the guests all began glaring at one another, some expressing their hostility more openly than others. That was the moment you realised: you had messed up.

Hey, people of Florida. PLEASE don't let this shitty bill pass. FOR THE LIVE OF GOD, DON'T LET IT PASS!

Please spread this around!

I just wanna let the few followers that I have know about this asap.

TUMBLR IS RE-ACTIVATING SAFE MODE!

This is essentially a shadow-ban on the entire NSFW blogging community.

If you run a NSFW blog, you will soon notice that your audience has dropped substantially.  You cannot prevent this from happening, but if you prepare your followers for the forced “safe-mode” change, you can reduce the impact.  

REBLOG - SHARE - WARN YOUR FOLLOWERS

BE PREPARED TO DISABLE SAFE-MODE ONCE AGAIN!

Wtf. This has no right to be so adorable.

here are the rhythmic sds!! i am obsessed with tsum epel’s lil tippy tap dance…..

all animations/still renders (rythmic_623)

(if you’re looking for the bgm it is bgm_182 <3)

No, because that would require Malleus to know how to use modern technology.

why did we as a society stop putting gargoyles on everything. what fucking loser looked at a building and was like no actually this doesn’t need a horrid little creacher

If I’m gonna be honest, I feel like Idia’s gonna be the one who says “You’re not wanted.” The person who already overblot plays a huge role in the next person who overblots. Riddle used his UM on Leona, Leona destroyed Azul’s contracts, Idk what Azul did to Jamil & Jamil played an important role in preventing Vil from killing Neige. It’s true that ch. 6 ain’t out yet, but it’s safe to say that Idia will overblot somehow since he’s based off of Hades.

I was just thinking, since the twst storyline is paralled to the original stories based from Yuu's dreams, what if Malleus' Overblot stems from when someone said that nobody wants him. I remember that infamous scene when Merryweather said that Maleficent aint wanted and to that she didnt get invited, and I was like thats so rude. If that happens to Malleus, he will snap, saying if he doesnt deserve to be happy, no one will be. Thats how I think Malleus will Overblot.

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To the theories about Malleus OB’ing because of Yuu going home… TIME TO GO HOME BECAUSE THIS SHIT?? THIS SHIT????

HI OH MY GOD OH MY GOD EXCUSE ME ANON YOU BIG BRAIN I LIKE THAT OOOOOH YES GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT

THIS CAN ALSO TIE IN TO THE WHOLE “I’ll show you a real happy ending” LINE THAT HE SAYS IN THE TRAILER. “If I can’t have a happy ending, no one can.”

Honestly, it makes me wonder what will bring anyone to say to Malleus that he isn’t wanted. Well, Leona would not hesitate to say it, but it’s Leona. Malleus would be kinda peeved, yeah, but he wouldn’t really be too butthurt, right?

Obvious thought is Yuu saying it to Malleus, and that’s gonna hurt. Yuu is established to be pretty kind, sometimes blunt, but they have a good heart. With the addition of being Malleus’ first friend, it’s going to hurt a whole lot. And also, if Yuu-Malleus friendship parallels Aurora-Maleficent friendship in the live action, that’s going to be so painful for me because imagining Aurora saying to Maleficent that she “isn’t wanted” hurts me. 😭😭😭

I would love for it to be either Lilia, Silver, or Sebek to say it. Making it coming from Sebek would hurt a shit ton because he’s the “#1 Draconian”. Making it coming from Silver would also hurt because Silver is such a kind-hearted soul. Can you imagine him telling someone that they aren’t wanted around him? 😭 The best one would be Lilia because holy shit, this guy was Malleus’ caretaker. He’s the one who let him learn about the outside world, he’s the one who had to deal with getting his hair burnt, he’s the one who raised Malleus. If we’re going with Disney parallels, Silver is likely because he’s representing the sword who killed Malleus, and Lilia is also likely because he’s the best representation of the three fairies (raised children + that one “fold in the eggs” scene).

And in some way, I do see any of them telling Malleus that he isn’t wanted because they seem to forget to invite him as well 😭 from the main story dorm leader meetings (I mean, Lilia should have at least reminded Malleus, right? 🥲) to that one part in the pre-release comic anthology introducing the dorms where the Diasomnia students forget to invite Malleus to breakfast.

Diasomnia posts

Fanfics

A Fae’s Snowy Celebration (Part 1), A Fae’s Snowy Celebration (Part 2)

Pater Meus (Part 1)

Incorrect quotes

Yuu is THE Child of Man

Yuu stubs their toe (NSFW)

Shitposts/Memes

Malleus “Hello Kitty” edit

Hi, everyone. I apologize for the lack of activity on this blog. Please know that I haven't abandoned it. I've just been trying to create headers for my fanfics so that they don't look so boring. I've already finished the headers for Pomefiore & am halfway done with the ones for Heartslabyul. Designing stuff can be challenging, especially when you've never done it before.

My brother bought me the 3 Mage Sister charms for Christmas & I got some bonus gifts. EVERYTHING this person sent to me came out gorgeous.

the grand opening of my et//sy sh⭐p is here! it’s been a lot of work in the making, i would appreciate it if you checked it out!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/DeafeningGardePanda

orders of three charms or more get a free gold foil meta knight sticker included (while supplies last. i won’t run out for a while but for anyone in the far future looking) 👀

also heads up, today is saturday. i most likely won’t be able to ship any orders out for an entire week until next saturday, so be aware if you purchase something

Malleus, we all love you, but WOW are you a dumbass. Then again, that's part of why you're so loveable.

Hii! I just had an idea that I just randomly thought and wanted to share it with you HAHAHAHAH what if Malleus will have an opportunity to get to taste our famous Filipino street food which is Ice Scramble (Iskrambol)? I think he would love it +0+

Actually, rather than the dairy queen type of ice cream, Malleus' favorite is directly stated to be shaved ice in the JP ver.

So yes, he'd guzzle that pink mf so fast he'd beat a toilet bowl in a water sucking competition. A cart full of this thing? Practically only a glass for him.

He'd inhale that in 30 seconds and he'd suddenly feel weirder and sicker with each minute that passes. You would be the first to realize that he's severely overhydrated so now you're hand feeding him SALT to dehydrate this water balloon of an idiot dragon. His pee would be freaking PINK you'd think a unicorn drowned in the damn toilet.

He'd still get some the next day though, only this time he's banned from buying out the entire stock.