Well Then I Must Be Very Good At Not Dying Because I Am Quite Short!

“haha eurydice??? yeah, eurydeece NUTS!!!!”

I say. My lover turns around to give me an annoyed glance, turning me to ash and sending me back to hell

girls are asking me to "touch the demon inside of them." chill I haven't even had breakfast yet

The first of the machines to have reached the bottom of Hell, V2 was offered a contract by the King of the Underworld: unlimited fuel from the river Styx, in exchange for stopping any other machine from setting foot into Hell.

My dealer: got some straight gas😛🔥 this strain is called “Voices of the Void”🌌🔭👽. You’ll be zonked outta your mind. 💯

Me: yeah. Whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I saw something out in those woods.

My buddy Omega Kerfur, pacing: STOLAS is lying to us.

swimby cat :)))

me: uh oh! if i fail to block any more of these spells, the evil wizard will take over my mind and make me suck him off!!! i need to be careful, i can feel it working already...

the evil wizard trying to blow my head off with lightning bolts: that's not what I'm trying to do

why is this so FUCKING real though

It's hard making friends as an adult. When I was in elementary school, I went table to table at the cafeteria asking every person there if they liked Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time for the Nintendo DS, and no one knew what the fuck I was talking about aside from one kid, and then we became friends for 7 years

why is shopping for computer shit so difficult like what the hell is 40 cunt thread chip 3000 processor with 32 florps of borps and a z12 yummy biscuits graphics drive 400102XXDRZ like ok um will it run my programmes

Aro/Ace at a wedding

Friend: "Aww, doesn’t the bride and groom look so in love?"

Me: obsessively watching the cake being wheeled in "Yeah… cute."

IS THAT BLACK DOOM????

just got shadow generations im gonna live post about it as i play through the first level